


Sliding Into Home

by HighLadySolo



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: But in a different way, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, HEA, I know very little about baseball, Jacen is an angel and must be protected at all costs, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren is a Mess, Kylo Ren is a professional baseball player, Kylo has a dirty mouth, Light Angst, Luke sucks in this one kids, M/M, Oblivious Kylo Ren, Oral Sex, Rey is a ray of sunshine, Rey is also a Mess, SERIOUSLY ALL THE FLUFF, Semi-Public Sex, Soft Ben Solo, Soft Kylo Ren, Star Wars AU, Thirsty Rey (Star Wars), Verbal Abuse, abusive coach, awkward kylo is awkward, background stormpilot, did mention fluff?, han and leia want to be grandparents, kylo ren thinks he's a badass but he is so soft for rey, not a slowburn anymore, not sure that needs to be pointed out but just in case, rey is a foster mom, so are rose and kaydel, so does Rey, so just roll with it, sports euphemisms, star wars baseball au, there will be smut, thigh humping lite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:15:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 88,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23285377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighLadySolo/pseuds/HighLadySolo
Summary: Based off this prompt from Reylo "Enabler" Prompts (@reylo_prompts) on twitter:Kylo has a mean reputation with fellow players and avoids engaging with the public. Until he spots fellow player Finn chatting w/his buddy from foster care, Rey. Every time she shows up w/kids from her at-risk program, he warms up and engages with them and gets closer to her.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 700
Kudos: 691
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp, ReylOlds, Reylo Prompt Fills (@reylo_prompts)





	1. No Home to Call My Own

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to a friend who died in high school. He was a baseball player who died our senior year, right before prom, his birthday, and graduation. I know he's somewhere laughing his ass off at me for writing this fic, but that's just how he was.
> 
> This prompt from Reylo "Enabler" Prompts (@reylo_prompts) on twitter made me laugh a lot, and it gave me a glorious mental image of Ben Swolo in baseball pants. There's a very cute video for anyone interested: https://twitter.com/reylo_prompts/status/1241862285712191489?s=20
> 
> Thanks to skyeryder01 for being my beta and not judging me when I tell her my silly ideas. Or drunken ones.
> 
> *Please suspend belief about the rules and such about baseball. This is an AU, and their rules are slightly different from ours to make up for any gaps in my knowledge.*

The worn black leather of his glove slides over his scarred knuckles, and Kylo Ren snaps his right fist into the pocket of the glove as he waits in the dugout for his name to be called. He readjusts his black hat for the fifth time and runs his fingers through his shoulder-length black hair before jamming the hat back on his head. Black glasses are on his nose and the greasy streaks of eyeblack are in place over his cheekbones. 

He’s ready. 

His name echoes over the speakers and the first strains of “This Means War” by Avenged Sevenfold reverberate through him as he runs out of the dugout and to his place in the outfield. 

The song feels too appropriate for today’s game against his uncle’s team, and anger burns through him as he thinks he catches a glimpse of greying sandy hair in the other team’s dugout. Kylo snaps the gum he’d shoved in his mouth before leaving the locker room, the loud jolt of sound enough to break him out of the dark spiral that he can’t afford to go into right now. 

Kylo and his fellow outfielder Phas run through a warmup as they watch the pre-game shenanigans with the mascots and used-car salesman, or whatever shit they were doing for sponsorship and “engagement”. 

“And now,” the voice over the speakers is not as loud in the outfield, but he still hears it, “please join us in welcoming the wonderful boys and girls of Jakku Home for Children!” Kylo turns to watch, vaguely interested as the little kids all run out onto the field in their oversized First Order tee-shirts, followed more slowly by their older counterparts. They range in age from four-ish to late teens, and they’re followed by three women, also in the oversized tees. Glancing up at the JumboTron occasionally during his warmup, he sees the kids spinning on bats and falling, and he lets out a rare chuckle. 

After he and Phas feel sufficiently loose, they head back to the dugout to wait. The announcer announces the National Anthem and everyone stands and sings and the fireworks explode, just like they always do. His name is called again as part of the starting roster, and he jogs out to center to await the start of the game. 

The first half of the first inning goes quickly with Mitaka pitching mostly strikes. Kylo rolls his shoulders as he jogs back to the dugout, still not acknowledging the presence of his uncle on the other side of the field. As he approaches the dugout, Kylo sees a large group of kids in black and red tees; Finn got the foster kids from his old home great seats. They’re all laughing and yelling and their section is a mess, but they’re having fun. Kylo almost grins as he tosses the ball from the last pitch to a dark-haired boy who looks to be about ten, who promptly hands it over to the littlest girl. She screams and jumps up and down and wraps her arms around the boy, who hugs her back and gently sets her back in her seat. Kylo does grin at that and hears a loud dramatic gasp from Phas. 

“Shut the hell up, Gwen,” Kylo growls out her first name knowing how much she hates it. She smacks his arm. 

Finn walks over to them, looking serious, which is rare. 

“Kylo, I know you probably don’t care, but you just made that kid’s day,” he says earnestly. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Finn was a foster kid. He’s usually so happy and easy-going. 

“It’s just a ball, Trooper,” Kylo says and pushes past him to grab his batting helmet and gloves. He trades out headgear and gloves, and expertly twists the bat around a few times, loosening up his wrists while he waits. Today, he’s fourth up after Phas and Finn and the DH, Unamo. 

Kylo isn’t paying much attention to his teammates’ at-bats; he just waits for his turn, anxiously running through his ritual of tapping first one toe, then the other, with the bat three times each. His name is called, and the song plays again. 

He’s setting up to bat when he hears a familiar cough and looks up at the opposing pitcher up on the mound. 

Poe Fucking Dameron. 

Shit. 

They’d played little league together, been best friends for years. Poe had witnessed the final blow-up between Kylo and his parents when they’d wanted him to join Luke’s team and “the family business” as Han had called it, and Kylo had flat-out refused, wanting to make it on his own. Seeing Poe’s face brings back all of those memories he’d been trying to avoid. 

“Strike one,” the umpire yells. 

Gritting his teeth and scraping the toe of his shoe in the clay, Kylo sets up again. A figure that he knows is Luke bobs in the corner of his vision. 

“Strike two.” 

Fuck. 

Breathing in as deeply as his rattled nerves will allow him, Kylo channels all that pent up frustration right at the ball that Poe sends right into the sweet spot of his bat. 

Home run. 

Kylo does not smile and barely slaps the hands of his teammates as he does his circuit of the bases, avoiding looking at any of them. The remaining team members pile out of the dugout to slap his shoulders and helmet and Kylo shrugs them off and ducks his head low to get under the lip of the dugout. 

Phas, who’d been on third for his home run, nodded and knocked her helmet against his. The rest of the team piles back in behind them, whooping and hollering at their lead. 

The rest of the game goes by in a blur, with the Resistance catching up at halfway, but Mitaka manages to keep them at bay long enough for Fisher to hit a single that gets Finn back home, giving them a one-point lead that they hang on to until the end. It wasn’t an amazing game, but it’s over and Kylo’s ready to _get the fuck out of here_. 

He heads back to the dugout, tossing another ball at the kids, and pauses when one says 

“Mistah Wen, would you please sign my ball please?” It’s the same little girl who’d gotten the first one he’d tossed their way, and her sticky little face is so sweet and earnest that Kylo is completely taken aback by her lack of fear. Usually, the kids don’t ask him for autographs; he has a bit of a reputation for being, well for being an asshole. 

Not that he doesn’t like the fans, but he likes to keep to himself and do his job. 

But the little girl is so adorable with her messy braids and big brown eyes that he walks over to where she’s leaning precariously over the rails. 

“Umm, sure,” he says. “Do you have a pen?” 

Her face falls and he can tell from the way her face screws up that she’s about to cry. 

“Oh, hang on, Jaina, don’t cry!” A woman’s voice with a British accent comes from somewhere behind the group of kids. “I’m sure I’ve got one somewhere!” The woman stands up, rummaging through an enormous tote bag that must contain enough stuff to feed and entertain the kids for weeks. She holds on to one handle of the huge leather bag and reaches her other arm in almost up to her armpit. 

Seeing what’s about to happen, Kylo starts to tell her to wait, but it’s too late and the bag has slipped off her shoulder and lands upside down, spilling its contents. 

Before he’s aware of what he’s doing, Kylo vaults himself over the rails and joins her, kneeling down on the ground to help her gather her things. 

He wasn’t wrong about keeping the kids fed and entertained. He finds four applesauce pouches, one plastic cup of applesauce that has seen better days, six granola bars of varying flavors but equally high in sugar content, a large plastic zip-top bag of cheerios, 5 individual packets of chips and crackers, and a huge water bottle. He also rescues enough board and chapter books to start a bookstore, a few small notebooks, about a million receipts, and a large handful of pens, one of which he keeps to sign the ball. 

His large hand and her small hand reach for the last item, a small, brightly colored box filled with tampons? He thinks? And a small squeak sounds from her as she clamps her hand down over the box and yanks it away. As he unfolds his body and stands, he takes in the woman in front of him. She’s still on the ground, so he can’t see her face, but what he can see is lovely. She’s all golden skin and chestnut hair and lean muscle. The black of the oversized tee-shirt contrasts nicely with her white shorts and golden skin, and he finds himself imagining her in _his_ shirt. 

He blocks that thought out very quickly. There are children around, for fuck’s sake. 

Get a grip, Ren, he thinks. 

Finally, the woman stands, though Kylo is amazed that she’s able, with kids clinging to her like barnacles. She laughs and waves them off, pointing at the dugout roof and telling them to wait. 

“I’m so sorry about those!” She gestures at the bag and goes very pink in the face when she sees that she still has the small box in her hand. She drops it again, but Kylo beats her back to the ground to pick it up. As he’s kneeling, he looks up into her face and _holy shit_. 

Freckles. 

He’s always had a weak spot for freckles. And that’s not all. Her smile is huge and her cheeks are pink and there’s a small smudge of chocolate ice cream in the corner of her mouth. 

He really wants to lick it off. 

Jesus, Ren, he thinks. You haven’t even spoken to this woman yet. 

She’s still apologizing. 

“It’s fine,” he says, shrugging. “It’s not a big deal,” he tries again, noticing how deep his voice is compared to her bright, almost musical one. “It’s…natural?” He finally says, and now he’s blushing too, feeling his ears go red. 

Why is he like this? 

Luckily, Finn chose that moment to hop over the rails and scoop up as many children as he can hold. 

“Finnie!!!!” The little girl yells, ball forgotten in the cupholder of the seat in front of her, as she launches herself at him, planting sticky kisses on his sweaty face. 

“Jaina!!!” Finn yells back at her, laughing. 

The woman hauls her enormous bag back up on her shoulder and follows after the kids, grabbing souvenirs and gathering their stuff as she goes. 

Kylo and the ball seem forgotten, and he slinks off, his cleats scraping over the concrete floor of the stadium sounding worse than nails on a chalkboard. 


	2. Chaos Incarnate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo has a sack of balls and Rey can't cook.
> 
> Gratuitous ball jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: brief mention of child neglect, possible abuse, hunger.
> 
> Thanks to skyeryder01 for betaing, as always.

“Hey, man,” Kylo yells at Finn when he finally returns from the field. 

Kylo has had enough time to shower and change and is on his way to the parking lot. 

“Hold up a second,” Kylo holds up a hand to the catcher and runs back to his locker. He pulls out a small First Order branded tote bag filled with baseballs that he’d quickly signed and shoves them at Finn. 

Finn gapes, confused. 

“I didn’t get to sign the little girl’s ball, so I thought I’d sign some for everyone and you could give them to - to them.” He’d almost said to _her_ , but Christ. He didn’t even know her. He couldn’t go giving a bag of balls to some woman he didn’t know. Kylo ducks his head and turns away. 

“Thanks?” Finn says, but Kylo’s already gone. 

When Kylo reaches the parking lot, the lights are still lit, and the Resistance team travel buses are still there, a few players milling about while the last of their gear is loaded underneath. Ben thanks the gods he doesn’t believe in that Luke seems to already be on the bus, but he sees Poe’s dark curls bobbing toward him, weaving between Kylo’s teammates’ cars. 

It’s not Poe that Kylo is avoiding, not really. If he’s honest with himself, Kylo knows he’d actually like to see his old friend. But the inevitable questions and repressed memories that would come with that interaction aren’t worth it. So Kylo pretends he doesn’t hear when Poe calls out his name, throws himself into his sleek black Silencer, and squeals his tires on the way out of the parking lot. 

~~~

Rey Niima is in the middle of heating canned spaghetti sauce and trying desperately to separate out the noodles that have formed a giant glob of goo in the bottom of her largest pot when Finn shows up. She knows this because the six kids who’d been gathered around her, pestering her for food left, and Finn’s the only person other than Rose that can get them to forget about a meal. If only for a second.

As frustrating as it can be, Rey can’t be mad at them. The littlest, Jaina, is four, and the look on her face when Rey had told her that yes, she could eat as much as she wanted at dinner time, or any meal, as long as she didn’t make herself sick, had shattered Rey’s heart. She knew how the little girl had felt on arriving at Jakku Home, though Rey had had to survive on her own for longer. Every night, Rey prays that the little girl will stay the sweet, happy little thing she is, despite the hardships she’s faced. 

Steam billows up in her face as she lifts the lid of the large pot of sauce, and she stirs blindly and manages to splash little dots of sauce on her new First Order shirt. Shit. At least it’s black and won’t show stains. 

Finn and the kids troop in with pizza boxes and a few gallons of ice cream, and as exasperated as she is with him for not asking her first, she’s thankful for not having to eat her own cooking. Again. 

“How’s it going, Peanut?” Finn deposits the pizza boxes on her small counter and kisses her temple. Rey swats his hand away as he pokes at a particularly large chunk of tomato sauce that has landed on her front. 

“I was doing fine! There were almost distinguishable noodles this time!” she says earnestly. 

“Where’s Rose today?” Finn asks, opening a pizza box and handing it to Jacen, the oldest, quietest boy. He watches to make sure all the others get at least a slice before he grabs a slice and a napkin for himself and goes off to sit alone at the table. 

“She’s out making a supply run, so I’m watching those three for her,” Rey gestures vaguely at the kids, who are all happily chewing enormous slices of pizza while sitting on the floor. 

Finn opens another pizza box, inspects it, sighs, and hands a slice to Rey. He hates Hawaiian pizza, but he always gets it for her knowing it’s her favorite. It was the first meal she’d had at a restaurant, and the weird taste of pineapple and ham with cheese and tomato always brings back the feeling of realizing that things would be okay. Finn finds a box of Meat Lover’s, and they eat and watch in silence as the kids stuff their faces and talk about their favorite parts of the baseball game. 

This is Finn’s first year playing majors, and Rey knows how much it means to him that he was able to bring all the kids out to watch him play. He’s like a big brother to their kids at Jakku House, and they’re all just one big happy, messy family. Very messy. Honestly, her kids are lucky they got placed with Rey because she sees several wadded up napkins and a couple of drops of sauce on the vinyl floor. 

Jacen sees it too and quietly stands to go clean up after the other kids. 

Rey watches him, frowning. She’s worried about him. Siblings Jacen and Jaina are the newest kids at Jakku House, and while Jaina seems to have been young enough to have brushed it off, or even partially forgotten everything that had happened to them, at ten, Jacen is old enough to remember. He’s very quiet, although he has excellent manners. He likes things to be neat, and sometimes Rey wonders if he hates living with her because she is chaos incarnate. But then sometimes he’ll give her the biggest smile and she feels a ray of hope that she can help him move past what happened to him. Rey’s seen his file: years of neglect and suspected physical and verbal abuse, but whenever she tries to talk to the boy, he shuts down. 

She’s made it her personal life goal to bring that boy back to life and be just as happy as his little sister is. 

Eventually, Rose returns, gathers her kids, and shuffles them all next door to their own house, and Rey and Finn corral her three through baths and then to bed. 

Rey knows Finn must be exhausted after catching the whole game, but he helps her when he can. He and the kids love each other, and she takes any help she can get. Finally, when they’re all asleep, Finn goes to the refrigerator and rummages about until he’s found two beers. He pops the tops and takes a long pull off his before handing Rey hers. They flop down on the sofa, propping each other up. 

“So,” Finn says, “what did you do to Ren?” 

“Who?” Rey asks, pressing the cold glass bottle to her forehead. 

“Ren? Outfielder? Tall, long hair, kinda surly?” Finn replies. 

“Oh! You mean the one Jaina wanted to sign her ball?” Rey hadn’t paid much attention to him as she’d been too flustered by dropping her bag. She blushes when she remembers that he’d grabbed her tampons, but smiles when she remembers his response. More men should be like that, she thinks. “I didn’t do anything to him. Why?” 

Finn waves to a black tote bag he must have dropped by the door when he came in. 

“He gave me those to give to you and the kids. Said he didn’t get a chance to sign the one you asked for.” 

Rey blinks. 

“He gave me a sack of balls?” Confused, she takes a sip of beer. 

Finn snorts with laughter, and Rey nearly sprays him with her beer, laughing at his snorting. Once they’ve both calmed down, Finn continues. 

“Yeah,” he says, “it was weird. I’ve never seen him act like that before. He was almost nervous.” 

“Well, I don’t see why he would be,” Rey scoffs. “It was very nice of him to send the… balls to the kids. Tell him I said thank you, won’t you?” 

Finn leans back into the arm of the couch and flops his legs into her lap. 

“Ya know,” he says, finishing his beer, “I don’t think I’ve seen Ren sign anything all season.” 

“He was very nice to Jaina and he helped me gather up my things when I dropped my bag,” Rey responds. 

“You really need a new bag, Peanut,” Finn says, laughing at her. 

Rey bristles. 

“It is a perfectly good reclaimed leather bag and it was a bargain! It’s big enough to carry all my things and all the things for the children!” 

Finn rolls his eyes. 

“Yes, and so is a suitcase,” Finn says. “Hey, do you want me to check on tickets for tomorrow’s game too? It looks like it might be a rain check, so there are a few places left with a bunch of seats together.” 

“Ooh, yeah!” Rey’s enthusiasm nearly knocks them both off the couch. “It’ll just be me and my three, though, Rose and Kay both have plans, I think.” She pauses, thinking. “I think it will be good for the kids. Jacen seemed to really enjoy it. Hey!” She smacks him on the arm. “When does small league start? Can he play that? Do you think he’d like it?” Her mind is already racing with the possibilities of getting him to engage with more kids his age. 

“Rey.” Finn is staring at her. “Small league?” He lets out a huge guffaw of laughter, clutching his stomach when she still looks confused. “Rey. It’s _little league_.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


	3. First(ish) Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another game, and Rey is trying to figure out how to get closer to Jacen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to skyeryder01 for always reading these.
> 
> Again, this is an AU, so they have slightly different terminologies as far as rules and such go. I have to cover my gaps in knowledge somehow.
> 
> Also, I had emojis in the texts, but the html didn't work, so hopefully, I'll figure that out for the next time.

Rey gathers all the kids at the turnstile and counts the tickets again to make sure she’s managed to hang onto all of them this time. Yesterday, one had fallen out of her pocket and was only saved by Jacen as he raced across the sidewalk to snatch it out of the air. Today, Rey decides to be responsible and hands the tickets over to Jacen. She leans down a little so he can hear her over the din of excited baseball fans. 

“Can you hold onto these?” 

He nods very solemnly. 

“Thank you! I don’t want to lose them again and I know they’ll disappear if I put them in my bag.” 

He nods again and Rey thinks she sees the hint of a smile ghost over his lips. 

The kids get antsy waiting in line, and Rey plays a little clapping game with Jaina and Alema, her other foster daughter whose file was nearly as bad as the others’, while they wait. Jacen, as usual, looks on without smiling or joining in. 

Finally, Rey gets everyone through the security point and through the concessions line to their seats. It’s about twenty minutes before the game starts, and Rey can see the players on both sides warming up and stretching. Finn sees them and gives a small wave where the coach, Snoke, can’t see him. Snoke is adamant that the players not interact with fans before games. Rey points him out to the kids, and the little girls scream and wave like the wild little heathens they are. Jacen gives another tiny smile and jerks his hand up and down in what Rey thinks is supposed to be a wave. Finn grins and tosses the ball to Phas, who tosses the ball to the tall player with long, dark hair that she’d sort-of met yesterday. 

What was his name? 

She can’t get a good look at the back of his jersey and her program is nowhere to be found. She’d look on her phone, but it’s dead. And the girls need to go to the bathroom anyway. After giving Jacen very strict instructions to _stay here_ and _scream if anyone talks to you_ , Rey goes through the arduous ordeal of taking two little girls, and herself, to pee. She has to holler at the two little girls to wash their hands before they run out of the bathroom when they hear the National Anthem being announced. Everyone races out to the walkway behind the seats, and Rey searches to be sure that Jacen is okay before she joins in the singing. 

As she and the girls belt out the song with the rest of the stadium, Rey turns her attention to the JumboTron where the camera pans over the solemn faces of the baseball players. They’ve all removed their hats, and their faces are visible as they sing along. Rey catches Finn, who is very obviously singing loudly, and Phas who is not. Then the camera catches the long dark hair of the player next to Phas, and Rey finds herself recognizing the hair, if not the face. 

But wow, his face. 

His lips move lightly along with the song and it _does things to her_. And she doesn’t even know his name. 

Rey shakes off the slight heat she feels rising in her cheeks at the thought, and clamps her ears over Alema’s little ears because she knows the fireworks frighten the little girl. Then she squishes Alema’s chubby little cheeks and guides her back to their seats while Jaina grabs the other little girl’s hand and skips along. Jacen turns at the sound of the three of their giggles and watches as they approach him. Everyone watches the teenagers roll the giant inflatable hamster balls across the field, and they all speculate about what it’s like inside them. 

Leather bag planted firmly between her feet, Rey is rummaging around in it for her phone and battery pack when the names are called for the starting lineup. 

The only names she recognizes are Finn’s and Phas’, and she barely knows Phas. They’d met once when she and Finn had gone out for a drink on a rare night when Rey had a sitter, but Rey had immediately liked the towering blonde woman. 

“Kylo Ren!” Echoes over the speakers, and Rey recognizes the name. She looks up at the enormous screen as the camera catches him jogging to his place, long black hair bouncing over his shoulders. He’s put on streaks of eyeblack again, and with the black uniforms and his dark hair and glasses, he looks a little imposing. Those lips that had been singing earlier, now twist into a scowl as he finds his place in center and looks toward the opposing team’s dugout, and quickly snaps his attention back toward the pitcher. 

The game is finally underway, and Rey follows as best she can without really knowing the rules. Beside her, Jacen watches intently, eyes darting back and forth, and nodding or shaking his head at the calls. On her other side, the two little girls are more interested in their popcorn and slushies, and the occasional mascot dancing on the sidelines. 

Today, their seats are further down the third-base foul line, so Rey knows they won’t be able to catch Finn’s attention to get a ball. Not that they need them now. Kylo Ren had signed enough balls so that all the kids at Jakku House and their fosters would have one. For someone that Finn had called surly, that seemed a very kind thing to do. Rey was impressed by his act and wanted to thank him in person if she could. So she watched intently throughout the game to see if he’d pop out, but he kept his head down on his way back from center and only came out to bat or return to his position. 

Four bathroom trips and a spilled drink, Rey’s naturally, later, the game is over. Herding the kids back to where they were yesterday seems impossible as a high-school baseball team appears to have taken over that entire section. Rey can feel Jacen’s shoulders ratchet up to his ears in disappointment, and she decides right then that she’ll bring him back on her own, even if Finn can’t get them anymore tickets. The little girls see Finn’s head pop out and they scream at him. Finn comes up to the barrier, but doesn’t climb over; Rey sees that Snoke is out of the dugout having a heated conversation with Kylo Ren. Both look tense, and up close, Rey can see that Finn looks…worried. They don’t talk about what’s bothering him, but she texts him as soon as she can. 

_thanks again for the tickets! I think Jacen really loves baseball! I want to try to bring him to another game, just the two of us if I can!_

**Anything for you, peanut! I’m glad the kid had fun.**

_Is everything okay? You looked…tense after the game. ___

_**Nah, Snoke’s just breathing down everyone’s neck. I think he’s threatened by Skywalker, the other team’s coach. Trained together or something, like, a million years ago.** _

__Oh, okay!! Is there a discount for tickets for foster moms? ____

__**Ha! I have a couple of friends from school coming for the game tomorrow, but lemme see what I can do for ya __**_ _

__**I got you the hookup! You should get them in your email in a minute.** _ _

___Thanks Finn!_ _ _

___Wait are they from Kylo Ren? Doesn’t he need them for his family or something?_ _ _

__**He never invites anyone to games, so it’s fine. He was weirdly nice about it when I asked and told him they were for you.** _ _

___Okay! Thanks again! ___ _ _

__Rey checks her email, and sure enough, there’s an email from kren05@firstorderbb.com with the tickets. For a few minutes, she agonizes over whether she should say anything back to him. Her reaction to seeing his face comes to mind, and she blushes a bit at the heat she felt._ _

__Just saying thank you wouldn’t hurt, right? It’s only polite._ _

__So she does. Rey says thank you to him more times than is probably necessary, but she’s extremely grateful for the free tickets, and she wants him to know. She outlines a little bit of the history of Jakku House and briefly talks about how much Jacen loves the games, and then says thank you one more time for good measure._ _

__His reply is almost instant. **It’s no problem** , it says. _ _

__That’s all he could say after she wrote a couple hundred words?_ _

__Her nose wrinkles in that way it does when she’s about to get really mad when her phone dings again._ _

__Another email from Kylo Ren, and Rey gets ready to start swearing at this man she doesn’t know. But she’s surprised._ _

__**Would Jacen like to warm up with us? On the field, I mean, if you get there really early.** _ _

__Rey is completely taken aback. The email says nothing else, and she isn’t quite sure how she should respond to it, so she pads over to his room and peeks in the cracked door._ _

__Usually, Rey gives him his space and allows him time by himself in his own room, so she’s a little surprised by the changes she sees when she sticks her head in. He’s pinned up his ticket stubs from the two games near his dresser, and the signed ball rests on his nightstand. A game program and roster rests open on the bed beside him, and Rey goes in to move the book and notices that Jacen has filled in stats for all the players, but has paid special care to keep Kylo Ren’s very neat and tidy. Looking down at him, Rey sees that the boy still looks serious in his sleep, but at least he looks less sad. She turns out the light, and leaves the room, knowing how to answer Kylo Ren’s email._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


	4. Nachos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is anxious and awkward. Rey eats nachos, and Jacen is precious and must be protected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to skyeryder01 for reading. 
> 
> If this chapter feels a little weird, it’s because I was in the same headspace as Kylo when I wrote this, which doesn’t lend itself to literary greatness. However, I did feel that it was pretty authentic to where Kylo was mentally, so I left it as is. For now. 
> 
> Again, I know nothing about baseball other than that I enjoy watching it.

Kylo tells himself not to panic when Rey, apparently that’s her name, responds with an overflow of exclamation points and a flurry of emojis and a very emphatic YES. He plays it off, saying it’s not a big deal, that the players with kids do it all the time. Her second response is a little bit tamer than the first, and Kylo gives her the time and instructions on where to go and explains that he’ll meet her at the gate. 

Remembering that he got several vouchers for the stadium shop at the beginning of the season, Kylo sets out to see if he can find them. Maybe the kid would like a hat or a jersey or something; he remembers being ten years old and wanting anything and everything he could get his hands on from his favorite team. After tearing apart his desk and bookshelves, he resigns himself to getting the kid a gift card and not telling them that he bought it. It’s a little sad, he thinks, that he’s this excited to see a kid he doesn’t know. And, if he digs a little deeper, he’s glad that he can show the kid something this special for the first time. For Kylo, so many special firsts happened when he was too young to remember, and after a while, he was no longer excited by things most kids would love to do.

His shoulders pull in at the thought of his childhood, and he resolves to do whatever he can to help the kid, and maybe, just maybe, the kid won’t turn out like him.

Because nobody wants a jaded, angry, broken man like him.

The alarm goes off at the same time it always does, and Kylo, who usually snoozes it at least three times, jolts out of bed before the second beep gets out. Nervous energy courses through him, and it takes him three tries to fill the coffeepot without sloshing water everywhere. Without realizing what he’s doing, Kylo goes through the refrigerator, robotically taking out pre-cut and measured ingredients for an omelet. His mind races over what he can show the kid about technique and maybe figure out what position the kid should play if he wants to play little league.

He puts thoughts of Rey and her little white shorts out of his mind because she’d practically forgotten he existed when Finn showed up and instead focuses on the third and final game of the three-game set against the Rebels. While he sautés peppers and onions, Kylo runs through his typical pre-game mantra:

_Peace is a lie. There is only Passion._

_Through Passion, I gain Strength._

_Through Strength, I gain Power._

_Through Power, I gain Victory._

_Through Victory my chains are Broken._

With these words on repeat in his head, Kylo finishes cooking and eats before going to shower. As the hot water courses over him, burning his skin, he allows himself to sag a little, trying to ignore the ache in his chest. The cool bite of eucalyptus mint shampoo stinging his scalp breaks his reverie, and he wonders fleetingly what Rey’s hair smells like. But, no. She clearly wasn’t interested, and he doesn’t blame her. 

When he’s nearly ready to get out, Kylo pauses and decides to shave his scruff. Normally he doesn’t bother shaving, but Finn said the kid is shy, and past girlfriends have said it makes him look too intense. Intensity doesn’t seem like the path to go to get a shy ten-year-old to open up, so the facial hair goes. The towel he wraps around his hips as he steps out of the shower is threadbare and fraying, and normally he doesn’t care, but he notices it today. He makes a note to order new towels online and wonders what else he’s missed in his own life. He pauses in front of the mirror, and it’s shrouded in steam. Hands swipe through it so he can see if he’s bleeding after using a razor for the first time in what is probably months.

The face that peers back at him is his own, and yet, it’s not. It’s the face he saw before the split from his family and joining Snoke’s team. This face is younger and less worn and angry.

It makes Kylo want to smash the mirror.

He doesn’t. This time.

When he arrives at the stadium, he goes straight to the offices and puts enough money on the gift card that the kid can buy a full uniform and cleats at the shop if he wants. Kylo isn’t sure if the kid will even want the stuff there, but the gift card can be used at concessions if nothing else. He shoves the little plastic card in the pocket of his shorts and runs a hand through his hair. From several yards away, a wolf whistle sounds. Phas is walking toward him with raised eyebrows. Beside her is Hux, one of the stadium announcers and Phas’s boyfriend.

“What’s with the face?” Phas says, gesturing to her own, miming the shape of a beard.

Of all his teammates, Phas is the only one he actually likes. Finn is…okay, but he’s too happy all the time, and Kylo is instinctively suspicious of anyone who is that happy. Phas can dish out shit, sure, but she can take it too, and her brand of snarky, cynical humor goes well with his, well, lack of one.

“Shut it, Phas,” he growls, but his words aren’t venomous.

She smirks. Hux all but cowers behind her.

“Hux,” Kylo nods to him, and he would have sworn the ginger-haired man flinched. 

“So, you’re bringing a kid to warm-up?” Phas says, peering at him. “That’s new.”

Kylo shrugs her off.

“He’s a foster kid from Trooper’s old home. Finn said the kid likes baseball, and he’s having a hard time.” 

“That’s kind of you.” Hux still hides behind Phas but nods appreciatively. “I hope you can get through to him. I remember being that age…” he trails off.

Phasma doesn’t turn to look at him but reaches behind her to grab his hand.

“Well, I’m gonna…go.” He gestures lamely at the gate, where he thinks he sees a pair of figures waiting. Jesus fuck. Why is this so weird? 

The slap of his running shoes is loud, even in the general noisiness of employees readying the stadium for the coming game. Oil hisses in the fryers as frozen chicken strips and fries are dropped in, and Kylo hears the sounds as if it’s the first time. As a kid, he loved the emptiness of the stadiums and the flurry of people making everything ready. So, he walks through, glancing occasionally at the stands and kiosks and finding it oddly fascinating.

Rey and Jacen are waiting near the closed entrance gate. She’s standing on her toes with her face squished in between the bars, but the boy is just standing with his hands jammed in his pockets, head down, shoulders jacked up to his ears. With his dark hair and pale skin, Kylo is jolted with yet another version of his younger self, and another rush of memories threatens to overtake him. But Rey’s golden, freckled face turns toward him, and she waves excitedly. Kylo pulls out a lanyard with his key fob and swipes it over the reader to let them in.

“Hi!” She calls out and reaches out to hold Jacen’s hand as Kylo approaches. The boy flinches a little but lets her hold onto him. “Thank you so much!” she gushes at him.

“You’re welcome…again,” his voice comes out deeper than he’d intended, and she looks up at him, all smiles and dimples. He clears his throat and looks at the kid instead. “Hi, Jacen, I’m Kylo,” he sticks out his hand for the kid to shake. 

Rey has to nudge him a bit, but the kid looks up and shakes his hand. Poor kid’s hands are sweating and shaking.

“H-hi, K-kylo,” Jacen stammers and turns beet red.

Awkward silence stretches between them.

“Oh, um, come on, let’s take a tour before we go down to the field.” 

Jacen’s face blanches.

“You okay, kid?” Kylo asks.

Jacen nods, but his face stays white as a sheet.

Kylo takes them through the empty stadium, showing them the concession stand and taking them up the stairs to the tiers of boxes that hang over the regular seats. The announcer’s box is empty except for Hux, who joins them for a moment. He introduces himself and shows Jacen a few of the sound effects and musical cues they use during the games. Jacen’s eyes go wide, and he very quietly thanks Hux as they leave. Rey is silent throughout the tour, mostly hanging behind or wandering a little ways off, and Kylo wonders if she’s avoiding him. As they near the end of the tiered rows of seats where the shop is tucked in a corner, Kylo digs around in the pocket of his athletic shorts and fishes out the gift card.

“Umm. I don’t know if you want this, but um, they give us stuff at the beginning of the season, and I thought you might like to get a hat or a glove or something at the shop.” The kid’s ears go red and his mouth falls open. 

Jacen looks up at Rey and kind of flops his arms at his sides. 

“Is it all right?” Jacen whispers to her. “Can I keep it?” 

Kylo dares to look at Rey, and her cheeks are pink too, and her eyes are lined with silver.

Rey nods at the kid, and Kylo sees the little boy grin for the first time since he showed up at the stadium. He feels a pull at the tension that always lurks in his chest.

Since Kylo sees that the kid doesn’t have a glove, they finish the tour and go into the shop, where he helps Jacen find his size. Jacen also chooses a hat and a First Order Jersey and immediately puts them on over his own clothes. When they leave, the boy’s steps are considerably lighter, but they slow a bit as Kylo leads them to the field house. 

Finn pokes his head out and calls to the kid, who turns to silently ask Rey for permission. She nods and watches Jacen jog over to Finn, who promptly takes the kid’s hat off, ruffles his hair, and puts the hat back on backward. Jacen and Finn go on into the field house, and somehow Kylo gets the breath knocked out of him. He looks down to see Rey with her arms wrapped fiercely around him, squeezing surprisingly tightly for someone so much smaller than him.

And because he’s some kind of colossal idiot with a single brain cell he freezes beneath her touch. She backs away very quickly, and he bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from telling her to come back. Brushing tears away, she turns back toward where Finn and Jacen have disappeared, and her shoulders slump before she looks back at him.

“Thank you for that,” she says sadly. “I can’t think when I last saw him smile.” 

“I’m glad I can help,” and Kylo wills more softness into his voice than he’s probably ever possessed. 

Maybe it works, because she peers back up at him, eyes still shining, and offers him a watery smile before she jerks her shoulders back upright and ventures through the door, calling for Finn.

Once Kylo has recovered enough to follow, he finds Jacen shyly showing Finn what he bought. For a second, Finn looks up at Kylo with a rare serious expression on his face, but then he just grins widely at him, like he knows. But Finn says nothing and helps Jacen bend his glove a little, telling him how hard the leather is at first and how to move it to make it more flexible. While they talk, Kylo crosses over to his stuff and hunts out his hat and glove and glasses, unsure if he should interrupt Finn and Jacen to take the kid out onto the field. Down the hallway, Rey wanders back and forth, looking up at the memorabilia of past teams. Her nose is scrunched up in concentration. 

A tug on his sleeve breaks his attention, and Kylo sees Jacen standing there looking up at him.

“Ready to go, kid?” The voice that comes out of his mouth is Han Solo’s, and for a moment, Kylo is frozen in place, transported back in time.

“Mr. Ren?”

Well, that brought him out of his reverie.

“Call me Kylo, kid.” He resists the urge to ruffle Jacen’s hair. “Let’s go.”

Most of the team is either not at the field yet, or still hanging out in the field house watching game tapes, which is how Kylo prefers to warm up. It’s pretty quiet, other than the sounds filtering out from the stadium, and the near-silence is often a balm for the constant roaring in his head. Now, though, he hears too much silence between himself and Jacen and wonders if maybe he should play music or something.

Or he could just do what they came out here to do and play ball with the kid.

Together, they walk over to where the balls are kept, and Kylo grabs a small bucket of them and hands that to Jacen. For some reason, the kid’s face has gone red again.

“Got your glove?” Kylo asks and starts backing away so they can toss the ball back and forth.

Jacen nods and adjusts his hat and shuffles his feet in the clay.

“Go on, throw one to me. I’m ready when you are,” Kylo says.

Jacen remains silent, and though Kylo wouldn’t have thought it possible, the kid’s face turns a shade redder.

A jolt goes through Kylo as he puts together what he’s learned about the kid with what’s happening in front of him. Jogging over to squat in front of the kid, he gets on eye level with him.

“Jacen, have you ever thrown a baseball before?” Kylo asks. He hopes he can keep the anger out of his voice at the answer he already knows is coming.

Jacen shakes his head and looks down at his scuffed shoes.

“So I’ll teach you,” Kylo says and grabs one of the balls from the bucket. “Hold it like this.”

For the next half hour, Kylo shows Jacen how to hold a ball, and then they start with underhand throws and work to overhand, and Kylo is just starting to show him how to throw a real pitch when Finn and Rey come out to watch. Phas is close behind them. 

Rey gives Jacen a big smile and a wave, and Finn does a double thumbs-up. Jacen waves back and turns back to Kylo, and while he isn’t smiling, exactly, a lot of the tension in his face has gone away. Kylo feels less tense too, and that realization is… strange. 

Shoving his hand into his glove, Finn comes over to Jacen and Kylo and waves Phas over too. 

“Hey, buddy, do you wanna throw with me and Phas?” Jacen looks up at Kylo as if he’s asking if that’s okay.

Which completely bewilders Kylo.

“Go ahead, kid,” Kylo says. “I’m gonna go…over there.” He can’t really think of anything to say, so he walks back toward the field house as they start tossing the ball in a triangle between them. And he tries very hard not to think about what kind of shitty parents wouldn’t even spend the time to teach their little boy how to throw a ball.

“Kylo?” Rey’s voice cuts through the rage that’s pouring over him. 

He stops but doesn’t look at her.

“Is he okay?” She asks. “Did he have fun?” 

“Yeah, I think so,” he grinds out, still not looking at her. “He’s doing pretty well for someone who hasn’t thrown a ball before.” 

“Oh,” she says, and Kylo can tell from her tone that her face has fallen. 

He turns back around, not wanting to see the sadness on her face, but hoping he can make it go away.

“He’s enjoying it. Look.” He points to where Finn is dancing around, pretending to drop the ball Jacen’s just thrown to him. Jacen has a proud little grin, while Phas eggs him on.

Once again, his breath is knocked out when she wraps wiry arms around him. This time, at least, he hugs her back. She squeezes very tightly, and he sort of pats her back until she lets him go, wincing.

“I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m very huggy with friends. Finn and Rose are too, so sometimes I forget that other people…aren’t.”

She’s apologizing for hugging him?

“No, no, it’s okay,” he stammers like an idiot. “It’s nice.”

Shit, why did he say that? He can feel his face and ears burn.

She dimples up at him.

“Thank you, again,” she says and stops him before he can say more. “I know I’ve said it a lot, but as a former foster kid myself, the fact that you made time to spend with him is incredible, and it means a lot to him. And to me.” 

He knew that she and Finn had been foster kids together, but it hadn’t really clicked until just now that her history might be similar to Jacen’s. The anger she’d made fade away comes roaring back. How much hurt had she been put through? 

Maybe he should avoid her, then, so as not to put her through more.

“It’s nothing,” he says. 

Her face is more serious than he’s seen it in their short interactions.

“It’s not nothing, not to me.” 

His throat constricts and he mumbles vaguely about water and shoves through the glass field house doors to find some. When he reemerges with an armful of bottles, Rey has joined the game of catch and is spectacularly bad at it. Finn tries to help her, but she has horrible aim. For a few moments, he watches them together until Jacen sees him and waves him over. He joins in the game to make a large circle, tossing the ball back and forth between them. 

Watching Rey watch Jacen is… incredible. Her face is completely open and encouraging, and she has nothing but good things to say to the boy, even when he makes a mistake. Sometimes, he watches Jacen, with his serious face screwed up in concentration. His nose scrunches up just like Rey’s had, and Kylo wonders if either of them is aware that the boy has picked up that little mannerism.

More players start spilling out of the field house, and Jacen starts to pull back in on himself. His movements are shaky and his legs start to wobble a bit. When Snoke comes out, the kid flat-out trips over his own feet, though Kylo doesn’t blame him. The angry old man’s face is scarred and terrifying, and when he comes over to talk to them, Jacen hides behind Rey. Before Snoke can make a snide remark and scare the kid further, Kylo sees Finn herd Rey and Jacen back to the field house and hears Finn’s promises of burgers and ice cream later. Rey grumbles at him, but only half-heartedly. She and Jacen wave to Kylo as they leave the field, and he gives a weird half-salute and curses himself when they’re gone.

What the fuck was that, Solo, he thinks.

_Oh, shit._

He hasn’t been Ben Solo in years, so why did that come up now?

Kylo throws himself into stretching and warming up with the rest of the team, and for once, when he puts on his uniform, he forgoes the black greasepaint he normally smears down his cheeks. 

The usual pregame bullshit goes on, and the game finally starts. It progresses rockily, with the Resistance team putting up more of a fight than in the previous two games. On Kylo’s second at-bat, he hits a grounder that lands him on first. While Phas is setting up to bat, Kylo sees that greying sandy head duck out of the dugout to replace the Resistance’s first base coach. Shit.

“Ben,” Luke Skywalker says conversationally, “how’s it going?” 

Kylo just readjusts his helmet and stays silent.

“Your mother misses you,” Luke continues.

“You bring that up NOW?” Kylo snarls. 

“Just saying,” Luke says. 

But Kylo ignores him; he won’t be goaded into talking to the old man now, or any other time. Bracing his hands just above his knees, Kylo leans over and watches Phas intently. She cracks one out right between the left and center fielder, which is just enough to get Finn home and Kylo to second. 

Poe’s catcher calls a time out and goes out to the mound to confer. 

Kylo stands up straight and takes off the helmet to run his hands through his hair. He’s close enough to see Jacen and Rey behind the third base line and nods when he sees Jacen wave at him. Beside him, Rey is oblivious to his attention because she has an enormous basket of nachos balanced on her knees and is stuffing her face with them. After each bite, she pauses, eyes rolling back, and if Kylo were closer, he thinks he might be able to hear her blissful moan.

He wants to see what _he_ can do to make her moan.

Shit.

Get back in the game, Solo.

FUCK.

He can hear Snoke yelling at him to put his helmet back on just before the crack of the bat echoes across the field. It’s caught in the air by the second baseman, so Kylo jogs back toward the dugout. Snoke grabs the front of his jersey as he passes and spews vitriolic words about paying attention and keeping his goddamn head in the game.

“You’ll never be good enough,” Snoke spits out.

It’s not his fault, though, and he knows that, so the old man’s words just roll off him for the first time. Shrugging, he walks away, not looking back up into the stands again.

When the game is over, the Resistance team walks away with the win. 4-3 is close, but it’s still a loss, and Snoke rails at the entire team afterward about not getting a shut-out. 

After he has showered and changed, Kylo is on the way out when he hears Finn holler at him.

“Hey, man, wait up!” 

Instead of his usual grimace, Kylo schools his features into something a little less angry and waits for Trooper to catch up to him.

“I’m going to grab some food and head out to Jakku house to see the kids. Wanna come with?” Finn is nonchalant, but Kylo wonders again if he knows.

Unsure what to do, Kylo just stands still. Are they friends? Is this what friends do?

“Umm. Yeah, sure, I’ll come out with you.” 

And just like that, Kylo Ren is on his way to see the kids and Rey, and he is terrified. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made slight changes to the sith mantra to suit my purposes.


	5. Games and Awkwardness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Finn show up at Jakku House, Rey is thirsty, and Rose has plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tension between these two idiots is incredibly fun to write. I'm drawing a lot on my own experiences with my husband because we both took too damn long to acknowledge our *feelings*. 
> 
> Thanks to skyeryder01 for betaing.

“Rey-Rey!” 

Finn’s sing-song echoes through the small house, and Rey is grateful for his post-game ritual of bringing home takeout because she is _exhausted_. Watching Jacen open up to Kylo took an unexpected toll on her emotionally, and it feels like she’s been completely wiped out. Little feet scamper down the hall, and Jaina and Alema start screaming in the living room. Rey hears Jacen leave his room, and she darts into her closet to change into comfortable clothes now that she’s home and has picked up the kids from Rose. 

Finn calls her again and she hollers back at him.

“I’m coming, Finnegan, just give me a minute!” 

“I brought enough for everyone so Kay and Rose are coming,” he hollers back.

She pulls out her softest, most worn Chandrila University tee-shirt, and digs around in a drawer for leggings. Yanking on the clothes, she yells for them to save her some food, and searches for her favorite fuzzy socks. Hopping on one foot down the hallway, she pulls on one sock as she emerges into the living room and feels that the energy in the room is significantly different than usual. 

Standing on one foot in the entrance to the living room, Rey stares, gaping, at a very tall Kylo Ren. He seems to take up the entire room, although that could be because he has two tiny girls climbing on him, making him seem larger than he really is. Alema is pulling on one of his arms to tug him down to the floor, and Jaina has herself wrapped around one of his considerably muscled legs.

Not that she’d noticed that earlier when he’d been wearing shorts. Or the way his tight, white uniform pants had clung to those muscles…

And his ass.

Nope, she hadn’t noticed that at all.

And she definitely hadn’t wondered about the rest of his body.

His deep brown eyes look at Rey as Alema finally succeeds in getting him to sit on the floor with her, and he blinks up at her. Instantly, her face is on fire as she remembers what she’s wearing, so she grabs Finn and drags him back down the hallway to her room.

“Finn…” she hisses, but he stops her.

“Yeah, I know, I should’ve told you, but Jacen seemed to like him and he seemed to like Jacen and they’re both usually so quiet and grumpy and I thought it might be nice,” Finn blurts out.

“Oh.” He’s right, and she knows it.

“Yeah, and I did not miss how you were looking at him, either.”

“I, what?” She squawks, face flaming.

“Mhmm. I saw that,” Finn says, “you are not sneaky, Peanut.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think he’s interested,” Rey says, digging around in her closet for a nicer shirt to wear. “I hugged him and he sort of flinched away, so…yeah.” Rey ducks inside her closet to change into a considerably less holey, oversized sweater. 

When she comes back out, Finn has gone back out with the kids…and Kylo.

Rumbling comes from her stomach, and she’s grateful for the distraction. When she makes it to the kitchen, she sees that everyone has already torn into the food and that Rose and Kaydel have arrived with their kids. Grabbing a plate, she looks over to see what Finn and Kylo brought: a taco station with lots of salsa and queso. With her plate loaded to full capacity, she turns to find a veritable mountain blocking her way. Kylo is spinning a plate in his large hands and is looking at her heaped plate curiously.

“‘M hungry,” she says, stuffing half a taco in her face and sits at the small table in the kitchen since everyone else has taken up all the dining room space. She waves a cheese-laden chip at Rose, who waves back and is almost instantly rewarded with a glob of sour cream to the face as her littlest girl, Tahiri, gestures wildly with her fork.

Surprise nearly chokes her when Kylo sits across from her, settling himself into the chair and folding his long legs under the table. 

They eat together in silence for a few minutes until she notices him watching her. Swiping at her face with her napkin, she asks what’s wrong through a mouthful of chicken, cheese, and tortilla.

“It’s just… I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone enjoy their food quite as much as you,” he says.

Rey can feel her nose scrunching up and her face turn red.

“No, no,” he says quickly, “I just mean, you seem to really _enjoy_ it. It’s not a bad thing,” he punctuates the last sentence with a nod as if he’s spoken and that’s final.

Still uncertain how to take it, she stares at him for a moment, and then deciding that he doesn’t _look_ like he’s making fun of her, she answers him.

“It’s just a holdover from not knowing where my next meal would come from, I guess,” she says. “And I never used to get food I enjoyed, it was all synth-protein and whatever I could scrounge up on my own.” 

His thick, dark eyebrows nearly meet in the middle as he scowls so deeply that she’s a little concerned. And then she realizes what she just said.

“I had a difficult childhood, but I’m a well-adjusted adult now, see?” She stands up and shows him her fuzzy socks with cartoon robots printed all over them.

His laugh is stiff, but he goes back to eating in silence.

“I’m sorry,” he says after a few moments.

“For what?” She asks. “It’s not your fault.”

“Well, no, but I still don’t like it,” he pauses. “I don’t like that kids have shitty parents sometimes.” 

“OOOOHH!!” Comes a chorus from the dining room. “Swear jar! Swear jar!” The kids all chant. 

Kylo looks incredibly confused. 

“Ah, we have a swear jar for when we, well it’s mostly me, I guess, say rude words,” she explains. “A quarter per word.” 

“Hmm.” He fishes in his pocket and pulls out a dollar and hands it to her. “Here, for my next ones too. I have a dirty mouth.” 

Rey knows exactly what she’d like him to do with that dirty mouth, but keeps that thought to herself, though she feels her cheeks turn pink again. 

Depositing the dollar in the jar gives her a reason to step away, so she doesn’t see his face turn the exact same shade.

When she comes back, he’s still eating, but Kaydel has joined him and he looks like a trapped animal. In the thirty seconds Rey was gone, Kay has managed to find out his age (29), sign (Scorpio), and where he’s from (Chandrila, though his family moved a lot). A lock of Kay’s blonde hair is wrapped around a finger as she blinks her big eyes up at him, and Rey would be jealous except she knows that Kylo is nowhere near Kay’s type. 

Okay, Rey, she tells herself, you have no reason to be jealous, even if Kay is into him. It’s not like he’s interested in _you_. And then she tells herself to shut up before she goes down _that_ sort of road. 

So she grabs her half-empty plate, shoves another taco in her mouth, and leaves Kylo to Kaydel, who is now asking him what it’s like to be a famous professional baseball player.

“Oh, well, I’m not famous,” his face goes white. “I play outfield, and usually pitchers are really where the attention goes. I’m a good hitter, but I’m just there to play,” he says, ducking his head so his long hair falls over his eyes.

Oh, that hair. In the limited interactions they’ve had, Rey has only seen him with a hat covering his hair, but now that it’s off…Kylo’s hair is… pretty. It’s dark and shiny and looks soft enough that she finds herself longing to card her fingers through it. Maybe she can get Finn to go through his stuff to see what products he uses.

But, no, that’s probably crazy.

Rolling her eyes at herself, Rey goes to find Rose, who has the 4 littlest kids. Tahiri is now covered in sour cream, and Mara, who lives with Kaydel, is flatly refusing to eat anything other than tortillas and shredded cheese. Proudly, Alema and Jaina jump up when they see Rey and show her their now-empty “happy plates” and she gushes over how well they did and makes very, very certain that they have had enough before telling them to go find Finn and play.

“So,” Rose says while she tries to wipe Tahiri’s face clean, “did you thank him for his balls?” 

Rey chokes on a chip loaded with queso and salsa.

“Ya know, since he signed all those for us?” Rose isn’t looking at her, but Rey can hear the smirk in the other woman’s voice.

“I said nothing to him about his balls, thank you very much,” Rey says primly. “But I did tell him thank you for Jacen so many times that I think he hates me now.”

“I don’t think so,” Rose counters. “I have an idea.”

And then Rose has gone into the living room, hollering about a Wii bowling tournament _right now_ , and for everyone to _hurry up_. 

Kaydel seems to have abandoned her torture of Kylo, who now sits at the table with Jacen. They aren’t talking, but they don’t look uncomfortable either. Rey sees that Jacen looks less tense than usual and is seriously considering asking Kylo about his secrets to sad kid wrangling, when Rose saunters over and pulls on Kylo’s arm, saying that he _has_ to go first since he’s the guest. His stammered response is completely ignored by the tiny black-haired woman, and she drags him over to the tv and the cleared space in front of it. 

“I don’t know how to play,” he says, ears and neck turning red.

“Oh, Rey will show you. She’s our best player,” Rose looks at Rey and waggles her eyebrows at her. 

Rey scowls, confused. She always loses bowling tournaments, real or otherwise, because she gets in the most ridiculous positions to throw the ball. 

“I guess,” she says, eying Rose suspiciously. The other woman pushes her forward, handing her the little white controller.

She takes the controller and slips the cord over her wrist, adjusting it to fit. Then she swings her arm wildly and jerks her body forward to send the digital ball flying off into the gutter. She takes her next shot and knocks down three pins. 

“See? It’s pretty easy,” she tells Kylo, whose face is somehow redder.

“Oh, um, sure,” he replies. He’s not looking at her.

When Rey goes to take the controller strap off her wrist, the little plastic clip, which is missing a piece due to one of the kids getting a little too ambitious with a tennis match, gets stuck, and she can’t pry it off. 

“Let me,” his deep voice sounds like it’s hovering a mile over her head, he’s _that_ tall. 

He steps closer to her, taking her forearm in one hand, the thin white strap in the other. His thumb brushes over the tender skin on the inside of her wrist as he flicks the little clip open, and his touch is like electricity shooting up her arm straight to…places. His hand looks huge hovering over hers, and his fingers barely brush over her palm as he slides the cord over her hand. 

It’s too small to go over his.

They still stand so close together and Rey wonders if he can tell that her heart stopped beating when he touched her.

“Thanks,” she croaks and edges away, trying desperately to decide if she wants to avoid brushing against him as she escapes, or if she really, really wants to touch him.

She really, really wants to touch him. 

But she doesn’t.

Instead, she retreats to the couch, observing instead.

There’s something to be said for throwing a relative stranger into the mix of a group of children. Half the time, they seemed to want to be on their best behavior, but the other half, well, Rey wouldn’t be surprised if they never saw Kylo Ren again after tonight.

Little Jaina has latched onto him like a barnacle, following him around and asking the kinds of questions that only little kids think to ask.

“Why is your hair like that, Mistah Wen?” she asks.

“You can just call me Kylo, Jaina.”

“Nuh-uh. You are Mistah Wen,” the little girl replies, crossing her little arms over her chest and shaking her head so hard her pigtails smack her cheeks. “Why is your hair like that?” she says again. Now, she’s climbing on his lap trying to reach his shoulders to tug on a lock of his long hair.

“Like what?” He ducks away, but her little fingers still snatch his hair, and the little girl looks satisfied to just sit in his lap and twirl her fingers in it.

Not that Rey would mind that either.

Honestly, Rey, she thinks, you’re a mess. 

But she can’t deny what she feels.

Especially when he doesn’t bother to remove the little girl from his lap.

Jacen has joined in the game, though he’s still pretty quiet. He’s the only kid his age at Jakku, with all the others being distant enough in age that he rarely spends time with kids his own age. Though from what Rey can tell, he doesn’t mind. Noting that he still looks serious, if a bit softer, Rey watches as Jacen swings the controller wildly and gets the digital ball straight down the center for a strike. Luckily for the kids, she’s only really competitive at stupid things like who can eat the most marshmallows or who can chug the most beer and then spin around without puking.

After what seems a very short, yet somehow very long time, Rey catches the time on Rose’s watch. Rose, Kaydel, and Rey all share that look, the look that means it’s _time_ to go. The other two women gather up their kids and bag up leftovers and say their goodbyes until it’s just Rey, her three kids, Finn, and Kylo left standing in her driveway watching Rose and Kay walk their kids home. 

It’s lucky, Rey thinks, that the foundation for Jakku House provided three homes so close together instead of the old building she and Finn had grown up in. Sure, she’d loved to drag Finn on explorations and adventures of the crumbling old mansion, but it really had been a health hazard. She sighs happily, remembering all the time she’d spent in the massive, overgrown garden when she hears Jacen speak.

“Mister...um, Kylo?” 

“Yeah, kid?”

“Can you, um, maybe teach me some more? If it’s not too much trouble? Please?” 

The little please at the end shatters her.

It seems to break something in Kylo, too, because he pauses in his tracks and takes several deep breaths before he looks over at Jacen. 

“Sure thing, kid, if it’s cool with Rey.” 

“Of course!” She knows she sounds overly enthusiastic, but she’s too close to tears to care. 

Jacen talked to someone and asked for help. 

Progress! She squeals internally.

Kylo nods and looks like he’s having a very intense internal debate.

“We’re about to go on a week-long away set, but I can swing by when we get back?” He directs the last bit at Rey who nods. “Can you, um…” he stops and clenches his fists. “Can you give me your number so I can let you know when I get back?” His face goes scarlet as he continues to speak. “Or you can just ask Finn. Yeah, Finn can let you know.”

Wait.

Had he just asked for her number and then retracted his asking?

“Don’t be silly,” she laughs, and it’s shrill even to her own ears. “You’ll need it if you’re going to come over here anyway. To teach Jacen, I mean.”

“Oh, um, I thought we’d, um, yeah. Cool.” He seems to be having trouble stringing words together in a coherent sentence. 

That was eloquent, she thinks.

Awkward silence hangs between them as Jacen, when he’d gotten the affirmative from Rey, had scampered off to chase his sister and Alema around in circles on the damp grass in the yellow circle made by the porch light. Finn somehow magically pops up in between them and wraps his arms around them both. Rey notices that Kylo flinches away from Finn a lot more violently than he flinched away from her, and that’s _something_ , at least.

“Come on, Ren, if we stay any longer, Rey’s gonna put us to bed, too!” Finn says, and he runs off to pretend to be a dinosaur and chases the two little girls, who shriek and pretend to be afraid.

“So… your number?” Kylo rumbles at her, deeper than before, and holy shit his _voice_.

In a shaky voice, she gives it to him before he and Finn say their goodbyes. In a daze, she rounds up the kids, and puts them to bed with his voice still echoing in her ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this description was SO Kylo, so I had to include it.
> 
> [ https://horoscopes.lovetoknow.com/Male_Scorpio_Characteristics ](url)


	6. Texting is hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo runs into Poe and *gasp* texts Rey. Our beloved space idiots have an awkward text conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear with me as I try to recall awkwardly flirting with my husband in the early years nearly a decade ago.
> 
> Thanks to skyeryder01 for beta reading.

Kylo Ren has come to the conclusion that yes, Rey does, in fact, moan while she eats and that she also has no idea she does it.

Because she has no idea that she moans while she eats, she has no idea what it did to him in the few short moments they’d shared together. And he prays to whatever gods might still exist that no one noticed him staring at her ass while she’d done that adorably awkward little bounce when she’d showed him how to play that game.

_And she gave him her number?_

Fingers trembling as he unwraps a piece of gum, he nearly drops it before slipping it into his mouth. Chewing the gum instead of the inside of his cheek, the rhythmic motion of his jaw is faintly soothing, but not enough. 

He is _burning._

Surprise had nearly knocked him down when she’d said he could come back to help Jacen. He’d expected to just go to the park or something, but never in a million years would he have expected her to invite him _back_.

Except… he forgot to give her his number. Electricity jolts through him as that realization hits. He has her number, but she doesn’t have his. Which means… 

He has to text first.

_Shit._

Groaning audibly, he bangs his head on the dashboard of the Silencer. Finn had dropped him off a few minutes ago, but Kylo’s been sitting in the car since, trying to figure out what the hell he’s going to do. He pulls his phone out of his pockets and taps on the message icon. Her name and number are still visible from where he’d entered them at her house, and he taps on the “New Message” button when he hears a sharp rap on the window.

“Ben! Hey, Ben!” 

Is that…? It is. It’s Poe. 

Kylo doesn’t look at him and doesn’t know what to do with the warring emotions that flood through him. Should he flip him off and drive away? Ignore him until he goes away? Poe makes the decision for him. 

“I just wanted to say hi. It’s been a while,” Poe’s voice is muffled through the car window, and Kylo turns to look at him for the first time.

That same haunting sense of the past, or maybe it’s fate, that’s haunted him since he saw Luke at the first game comes up behind him and lays icy fingers on the back of his neck, when he really looks at his old friend’s familiar face for the first time in years. He makes his decision.

He pushes the button that rolls down his car window.

“Hi, Poe.” 

The other man, who’d looked a little uncertain before, smiles broadly at him.

“It’s good to see you, man. You got some good hits in! How’s it going?”

“Pretty good, I guess,” Kylo is uncomfortable making small talk with someone who is probably still pretty close to the Solos and will likely tell them all about this encounter. “How are you? You still with Zorii?”

Poe ducks his head and sticks his hands in the pockets of his worn leather jacket.

“Nah, she got really serious with her journalism and moved to Coruscant to work for some big news agency. It’s cool, though. Been a while.” Poe doesn’t seem too bothered, but Kylo feels a little guilty for bringing it up. “You seeing anyone?”

“I just met someone. It hasn’t really gone anywhere, though.” It feels good to say it out loud. Poe nods, and Kylo feels a tiny bit of hope when Poe doesn’t immediately laugh in his face or tell him he’s not worth her trouble.

From across the parking lot, the Rebel team’s bus horn honks loudly and flashes its lights. Poe scowls.

“I gotta go,” he says, “but we should talk soon or hang out or something.” 

“Maybe in the offseason,” Kylo says and tries to grin. It feels a little stiff and unnatural, but Poe doesn’t seem to notice. 

“Well… see ya!” Poe turns and starts to jog off.

“Poe,” Kylo says just loud enough to be heard. “How is Leia?

” “Good! She’s good!” Poe hollers over a shoulder and continues until he’s on the bus.

Kylo’s shoulders slump as he presses the button to let the window back up and grinds the key in the ignition a little harder than is probably necessary.

When he’s back home and in his apartment, he flops down on his black leather sofa with the intention of surfing the internet aimlessly until he’s too tired to stay awake. But when he thumbs his phone unlocked, Rey’s contact information is still there, where he started to send her a text. Poe’s interrupting had made him completely forget about her for a moment, and he can’t decide now if he should even bother.

“Fuck it,” he says aloud and starts typing.

_Hi, Rey._

_Kylo Ren, here._

_I got your number but forgot to give you mine._

_So, you have it now._

_Okay. Bye._

_Sorry it’s so late._

_Bye_.

He shoves the phone in the coffee table drawer, and retreats to his bedroom, thinking that he is a kriffing idiot.

~

The alarm goes off and Kylo slams his hand down on his nightstand a few times, searching for his phone. It continues beeping, its shrill alerts growing louder. 

Fuuuuuuck.

It’s in the living room.

_Why?_

The memory of the previous night crashes back over him and he nearly drags the bedcovers with him as he jumps out of bed and races to the living room, then digs through the drawer for his phone. Once he has turned off the current alarm and all subsequent ones, Kylo shakily checks for notifications. There’s only one text, an automated reminder sent out to the entire team reminding them to be at the stadium by 7:00 am to pack the bus to leave for their away series.

With dwindling hope, he checks his email. Nothing.

Shit.

Sullenly, he bangs around the kitchen, the coffee pot and mug clatter on the stone countertops as he gathers what he needs to start the day. 

What did you expect, he asks himself. 

So he tries to distract himself by packing for the week-long trip, throwing clothes and shoes and toiletries into his small black suitcase haphazardly. Then he raids the bathroom for the black leather bag with travel-size versions of all his favorite hair products and carefully checks to be sure they’re all present and full before chucking that in the bag, too. 

Well, he thinks, that took all of five minutes. What now?

Thumbing open his phone, he clicks on Facebook for the first time in months to clear out notifications. He rarely checks it because he has no reason to. The team’s media manager suggested that all players have a page for visibility, but Kylo thinks there’s no point.

His notifications include Finn tagging him in various stupid videos, mostly sports fails and food, and Gwen poking him (ironically, she says). And one friend request.

It’s from Poe. 

Before he can change his mind, Kylo clicks accept and spends the next hour looking over his former friend’s life before he has to leave to head to the stadium. Changing the setting on the app to notify him if he gets a message or new friend request, Kylo glares at the phone like everything is its fault.

~

Snoke always likes to give his team a full day in the new city when they go for away series, so Kylo grabs a couple of books to shove in his backpack, along with an enormous pair of over-ear headphones and a black hoodie. Travel days are the worst. Everyone wants to either talk shop or talk shit, and Kylo wants none of it. He and Phas usually grab seats at the very front where no one wants to be and listen to loud music in grumpy solidarity. Kylo times his arrival so he’ll be one of the last to load but not the very last, in order to avoid Snoke’s ire. 

Last to board today is Finn, who bounds up the steps with a huge grin and a large coffee cup. He budges himself into the empty seat between Phas and Kylo and slings his backpack onto the ground between his feet.

Oh, Kylo thinks. He and Finn are friends now. Right?

Kylo attempts a grin but feels more like a dog baring its teeth. 

Finn takes a huge gulp of his coffee and then starts to speak. Mumbling under his breath about headphones, Kylo reaches up and slides the headphones off his ears to rest on his neck.

“What?” He grumps at Finn.

“Damn, man, I always forget how cranky you are in the mornings. I asked how’s it going, but I guess I can answer my own question.” Finn gives his signature blinding grin and turns his attention to Phas.

Slipping the headphones back up over his ears, Kylo wonders for the thousandth time since joining the team with Finn what, exactly, the other man does to be so happy all the time. Sighing, Kylo pulls the hoodie up and leans his head against the window as the bus rolls out of the stadium lot. He turns up the volume on his playlist and closes his eyes.

A couple of hours later, the bus pulls over to gas up and all the players troop out into the convenience store to stock up on snacks and drinks. Feeling unsettled from the night before, Kylo wanders aimlessly, grabbing things off the shelf without paying attention. From the cooler, he selects a sour-candy flavored energy drink and an enormous bottle of water. When it’s his turn at the checkout counter, he dumps his armload in front of the faintly amused-looking cashier. 

“Hungry?” The older woman asks.

“Sure.” He pays and gathers up his bags and heads back into the bus. Finn and Phas are waiting for him in their seats and eye his bags as he sits down. Finn immediately starts pawing through the bags to see what’s been purchased.

“Oh, man. Rey must be rubbing off on you!” 

Kylo chokes on his water.

Finn pulls out each of the items Kylo bought: a bag of chili lime Cheetos, chocolate and peanut butter coated cereal, a pack of apple pie flavored gum, cinnamon sugar cashews, ranch-flavored corn nuts, yogurt covered pretzels, mango-chili flavored chewy candy, a sharing size bag of crispy m&ms, weird-looking cylinders filled with pizza-flavored paste, and white cheddar popcorn. At least he hadn’t forgotten to buy his regular large pack of spearmint gum and salt and vinegar potato chips, or the trip would be a waste. The pack of apple pie gum seems particularly disgusting, and Kylo flicks it at Finn with his fingertips.

“What did you mean about Rey?” Kylo twists the cap on his water bottle and ducks to place it in his backpack. The tips of his ears burn.

“Huh? Oh, well, she has this weird thing about food and trying new things, so whenever we go somewhere, she always buys a ton of junk she’s never had before. And it’s always random shit like that.” Finn taps the cardboard that holds the weird gum.

“Weird. You can give her all this then, I don’t know why the fuck I got it,” Kylo pulls out the only things he wants and shoves the bags at Finn.

“She’ll love that!” 

From the seat past Finn, Phas leans over and gives Kylo a _look_ and snickers at him.

He flips her off and pulls his headphones back on. This time, he doesn’t go to sleep but stares out the window instead. The verdant, rolling landscape of Naboo slowly transitions to the rocky desert of Tattooine. The hours-long trip passed by in a blur, and Kylo didn’t even notice. He had no idea where his brain had even gone. 

Finally, after lunch and another pit-stop, they reach the hotel across from Tattooine’s Jawa stadium. They’re playing the Raiders this week, and while they’re not as good as the Resistance, the Raiders have gotten some new talent this year and Snoke is going on and on about how they must crush the opposition; his usual bullshit. Snoke’s probably just bitter that Palpatine hadn’t given him the budget he’d wanted, and some of the rookies he’d wanted had gone to Tattooine instead of Chandrila. 

Once they’re checked into the hotel, unsurprisingly, Finn has asked to room with him, they go up and unload their stuff together, and then Kylo heads down to the hotel’s basement gym to run on the treadmill. Finn opted for swimming laps, instead. His shoes pounding into the rotating black rubber helps him lose a little of the tension that had set back in after seeing Poe last night, and Kylo wills himself (again) not to check his phone to see if Poe has reached out. Or to check Facebook to see what he can find about the Solos. Angrily, he ups the speed on the treadmill and runs until his legs are jelly. When he stops, he sees Snoke standing in the doorway, glaring at him. Kylo ignores him and chugs water.

“Get your head on straight, _boy_ ,” Snoke hisses before storming away.

The game the next day is in the early afternoon, and Snoke drags all the players over to the Raider’s stadium for some kind of pre-game pump-up session after the home team has gone home for the day. Snoke’s pumping up tends to consist of lots of yelling and swearing and spitting, but sometimes he can be encouraging enough to get them to play well. After they’ve seen the field where they’ll play, the First Order players are all carted back to the hotel and deposited in one of the hotel’s meeting rooms for a catered dinner that’s pretty boring, grilled chicken, steamed vegetables, and plain mashed potatoes.

“They couldn’t even give us _gravy_?” Moans Finn, splatting the potatoes on his plate.

Kylo snorts.

“Gotta be healthy before the game,” he says around a very bland bite of chicken.

“I bet your weird snacks are sounding pretty good right about now, huh?” Phas quips. Kylo notices that she hasn’t eaten anything and is just pushing the food around on her plate.

“Shouldn’t you eat?” He stabs the air between them with his fork.

Phas just grins. 

“Come to my room later and you’ll see why I didn’t,” she says.

Finn and Kylo eye her.

“I’m getting Thai delivered once we’re released from _this_ ,” she says in a low voice. “There’s still time to add to my order. You guys want in?”

The answer from both was a very emphatic _yes_.

Eventually, Snoke decides that he’s done with the pep talks and tells everyone to go back to their rooms and get a good night’s sleep. Phas quickly tells them her room number and to wait a few minutes before they head up; Snoke is strict about lights out times. Finn and Kylo find their room, and Finn immediately changes into loose cotton pajama bottoms with a rubber duck printed on a royal blue background. Since they’re friends now, Kylo is supposed to rib him about the silly pants. Right?

“Nice ducks, dude.” His laugh is a bark that feels hoarse and rough from disuse, but he gets it out without dying or spontaneous combustion, which is a plus.

Finn shoves his hands in the pockets making wings and spins around quacking.

“Thanks! The kids got them for me for Christmas last year.” Finn’s always smiling face lights up even more.

“You really love those kids.” It’s a statement, not a question.

“Yeah, I do,” Finn says and shrugs. “When you don’t have a blood family, the family you build yourself means that much more. Those little kids are like nieces and nephews to me. Rey’s like a sister. We grew up together, and we were all that each other had for a long time.” He gives Kylo a little bit of side-eye when he mentions Rey. “Come on, let’s go eat some _real_ food.” 

Kylo grabs his phone and wallet, and they head upstairs to Phas’s room together.

~

“NO NO NO COME ON! JUST A LITTLE FURTHER!” 

Finn and Phas are shouting at the tv while they wait for the food to arrive. They’ve put on some show called Wipeout where the contestants have to do ridiculous things for money. So far, the three people that have tried haven’t made it past the first obstacle, four giant, red inflatable balls that they’re supposed to cross to get to the next obstacle: three giant red bars spinning at different speeds. The appeal of competing on the show is beyond him, but he’ll admit that watching the contestants and their ridiculous intros is a little bit funny.

When the food arrives, Finn and Phas decide to just throw everything in the middle of the table family-style so everyone can share. It feels very foreign, but Kylo goes along with it, trying some of Finn’s spicy green curry and Phas’s chicken satay with peanut sauce. It’s kind of nice, he thinks, as he starts in on the mango sticky rice and watches Phas and Finn have a chopstick duel over the last skewer of satay.

A faint buzz sounds in his pocket. He ignores it, probably just the automated message reminding them about the wake-up call for the next morning.

It buzzes again.

That’s odd.

Kylo feels his brows furrow as he reaches in his pocket for his phone as it buzzes a third time. He’s going to send a strongly worded email to whoever is in charge of the technical stuff to _get their shit together_. Angrily, he shoves a mouthful of mango and coconut flavored rice into his mouth and checks the screen.

Chunks of mango and rice go flying as he sees who it’s from and immediately starts choking.

_Rey_.

**Hi Kylo! sorry it took so long to text back, my phone died (again lol) and i couldn’t find a charger that worked (mine are all broken, long story) anyway hi!**

**thanks again for all the stuff for Jacen and agreeing to help him! he’s soooooo excited he can’t stop talking about it lol**

**he’s actually the one who fixed my fucked up charger and when he saw that you had texted me i thought he was gonna flip his shit**

**he says hi, btw**

He looks up from his phone to see Finn and Phas staring at him open-mouthed. They appear to have dodged the fruit and rice explosion, and at the same time, they jump up and scramble around the table, reaching for Kylo’s phone. He’s a lot taller than Finn, but Phas is his height, so they gang up on him, with Finn tackling him around the waist and Phas reaching high where he’s dangling the phone out of reach.

“Got it!” She sings triumphantly and starts reading the messages aloud. “Kylo Ren, here? What are you a scarred former fire-bender who turned good?” She scoffs at him but keeps going. “You texted her seven times but managed to say literally nothing at all? Damn, man, you’ve got it bad.” 

“Who is it? It’s Rey isn’t it?” Finn sounds too excited.

“Yes, damn it, now give me the fucking phone.”

“Hmm, no, I don’t think so,” Phas starts typing a message back to Rey and starts singing about trees and kissing. Finn joins in.

“Phas. We are _adults_ ,” Kylo snaps.

“Coulda fooled me,” she says, waving the phone in his face. “When was the last time you texted a woman who wasn’t me?”

His damn ears go red, giving him away.

Finn’s still singing.

“Exactly,” she says. “I’m going to help you.” 

“Help me, what, exactly?” He’s starting to get mad. “She just said hi and thank you and that’s it. She’s clearly not interested in me.”

“Actually, she might be,” Finn pipes up. 

“What?” If his voice weren’t so deep, Kylo would most definitely have called that a squawk. 

“Just her reaction to seeing you last night.” Finn shrugs like it’s obvious. “And she went and changed out of comfy clothes because you were there. _Nobody_ can get the girl out of a holey tee, that’s for sure.” 

The world stops spinning. 

The world stops spinning and chucks Kylo off it.

Shitshitshit.

What does he do? She doesn’t deserve his baggage and bullshit, but… if she is interested?

“Give me the goddamn phone, Phas.” The growl that comes out of his mouth is one he hasn’t heard in a long time.

She scowls but gives it back. 

“I’m not scared of you Ren,” she says, standing up to her full height to look him dead in the eyes.

“Good.” 

He turns and walks back to his and Finn’s room, slamming the door behind him.

_Tell the kid I said hi._

_And you don’t have to keep thanking me._

_It was…fun._

_And I don’t really have fun_.

Her response is almost immediate.

**i say hi too lol and i do have to thank you! i’ve been having such a hard time getting him to relax and open up to us and he’s had so much light in his face the past few days that i’ve never seen before. if you stick around us, you’ll probably have more fun than you’ll know what to do with haha**

Going back and rereading her first messages draws attention to her cursing; he’d missed it before, and he immediately fixates the image of her pretty mouth saying the filthy words. 

What does she mean by ‘if you stick around us?’ Does she expect him to come around a lot? He is in such deep, never-ending shit. 

_I’m glad I could help. For him and for you. It must be hard seeing someone you care about struggling like that._

**that’s really sweet of you! it has been really hard, and it’s harder for me because i feel like i know what he’s going through more than most but i just…can’t get through to him**

**ahhh sorry you don’t even know me and i’m laying this heavy shit on you**

The anger he’d felt the previous night roils in his gut again. He doesn’t know her full story, or Jacen’s, but he knows that no kid deserves whatever had happened to them.

_No, it’s okay. I understand about weird childhood shit._

_That sounds weird._

_I just didn’t have a great relationship with my family, is all_.

**at least you had one!**

Shit, he probably hurt her feelings.

_You do too. Finn told me how you guys basically made your own family. I don’t have that._

**Lol we’ll take you in! we take in all the misfits and orphans around here**

_Well thanks. Maybe I’ll take you up on that. :)_

**did you just old school emoji me, grandpa?**

_Watch it, you whippersnapper._

_You can’t be that much younger than me, though._

**i am 25, practically a baby compared to you**

_You are not a baby._

**;)**

What the fuck does that mean? He has no idea how to respond, so he just plugs his phone in and goes into the bathroom to shower. By the time he’s done, Finn is back, lounging on the bed and flipping through channels on the ancient hotel tv. 

“She’s too good for you, you know.” 

“I know,” Kylo says, his wet hair flopping into his eyes.

“But I think you could be good for each other.” Kylo’s head whips around, wet hair stinging his cheekbones. “She’s a mess, man. I love her, but she’s a mess. And you need…her.” 

Finn is much more perceptive than Kylo gives him credit for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the random snacks are things I would eat, minus the pizza combos and yogurt pretzels, so no judgment there.
> 
> HOWEVER. Apple pie flavored gum does exist, and I fully believe that it is an abomination despite having never tried it. My MIL offered me some once, and it smelled like potpourri, which gum should NOT smell like. 
> 
> If you are now drooling over Thai food that you cannot currently acquire due to quarantine, you are not alone. We're all in this together.


	7. Sprained Ankle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big, bad Kylo Ren accidentally gets high on pain meds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting interesting!
> 
> Thanks to skyeryder01 for input and suggestions and reading this and encouraging the awkward messages. you da real mvp.
> 
> I apologize for the bad title. I'll change it if I can come up with something else. Quarantine brain, y'all.

Small hands jostle Rey awake, and she looks up to find Jacen staring down at her, his pale face very serious and a little distraught. 

“Rey, the baseball game is going to start soon and I wanted to text Kylo for good luck. Can I use your phone?” His anxiety rolls off him in waves.

She hands him the phone and rolls back over. Sleep had been fitful the night before, and Rey is loathe to get up and face her day. 

“I sent him a message, but your phone is almost dead. You need a new charger.” He holds up her phone that has the plug-in bit of the charger still attached with frayed wires hanging out of it. 

Rey groans just as her phone dings. 

“He said thanks!” Jacen’s grin lights up the room more than the sunlight streaming through her curtains. Rey sits up to see the boy scamper off with her phone when she remembers that the last text she sent Kylo was an old-school winky face emoji. She groans.

“I’ll make you coffee!” Jacen hollers from the vicinity of the kitchen.

Sweet boy, she thinks. Taking care of other people is his love language, even though at ten, he really shouldn’t know how to make coffee. But he does, and somehow, it’s always better than hers. She emerges from her steamy bathroom from a quick shower when she sees that Jacen has left a plate of toast and jam on her nightstand with the coffee. Bless him.

Quickly, she dresses and takes her breakfast out into the kitchen to see that Jacen is hunched over her phone, scrolling through something. The two little girls are still asleep in their room.

“What’s that?” Rey points at the phone with a dripping toast triangle.

“It’s the stats for the Raiders.” He doesn’t look up.

“Do you want to see if we can find the game on tv?” Rey asks.

“Yes!” Jacen jumps up and hugs her.

Gently, as if he might bolt under her touch, she wraps her arms around him, too. Then he’s scampering off into the living room to scroll through channels to see if he can find the game. Of course, he finds it almost immediately and deposits himself right in front of the tv to watch the pre-game commentary. Rey, who only watches baseball because of Finn, is not interested, so she takes her phone off the table where Jacen left it and goes into the living room to finish her coffee on the couch. The stats page is still open, and she closes the browser to see another message pop up from Kylo, who’s texting Jacen back. She goes back to read their exchange.

**Hi, Kylo. It’s Jacen. I wanted to tell you good luck before you play the Raiders today.**

_Hi, Jacen. Thanks! I’ll try; the Raiders are pretty good this season._

Rey snorts over Kylo actually using a semicolon in a text. 

**Well, I’m sure you’ll beat them! Go First Order!**

_Thanks, kid._

_Hey, tell Rey she owes the swear jar from last night._

What? 

She goes back and rereads their texts, and yes, dammit, she had cursed last night. She texts him back.

**kylo, its rey. i refuse to put money in the jar for swearing over text lol you still have three curse words left from last time though**

Her phone makes that sad little chirping sound to let her know it’s about to die.

“Hey, Jacen, did you ever find my other charger cord?” she asks.

“Yeah, but it was broken, too.” His eyes are glued to the tv screen, watching someone talking about RBI’s and stolen bases. 

Maybe Rose has a spare cord she can borrow. Honestly, Rey thinks, she should buy the damn things in bulk.

Rustling comes from the little girls’ room, and Rey goes to set out cereal and juice for them. The little girls come out with all the silence of a hurricane and bombard Jacen with questions and hugs and sticky little girl kisses. He patiently talks to them and herds them into the kitchen while Rey fills cups and bowls and ignores the sugar content on the side of the box as she shoves a handful of the sweet, crunchy goodness into her mouth. Rey is eternally grateful for kids who, like her, will eat just about anything that is put in front of them, so long as it doesn’t eat them first. Even her truly horrific creations. She has plans for peanut butter sandwiches with freeze-dried crunchy fruit for lunch, so they’ll at least get something nutritious. 

They go about their day as normal: after breakfast, everyone loads their dishes into the dishwasher, the little girls take turns using the sweeper to catch any spilled crumbs, and Jacen helps Rey fold laundry from the day before. It’s a weekend, so Rey doesn’t mind that they’re practically planning to watch tv all day, and soon the little girls join in the laundry, trying to match and fold the socks. They fail miserably, but they love to help her, so she doesn’t complain. 

When he hears the national anthem come on, Jacen immediately stands at attention with his hand over his heart. Rey snaps a picture of him with the tv showing Jawa Stadium in the background to send to Finn…and maybe Kylo. Her phone dies just as she’s about to send the picture to them, and her heart sinks a little until she realizes that neither of them would have been able to text her back during the game, anyway. Finn has told her that Snoke is adamant that there are no phones in the dugout. So, maybe she can rustle up a charger and text them when the game is over. As the game progresses, Rey finds herself seeking out Kylo’s tall frame on the screen. Phas and a few other players are as tall as he is, but he’s just so…broad. The camera pans over him catching a ball that Rey had thought would be a home run, and Rey swears it looks like the buttons down the front of his jersey are straining a bit as he reaches up and snatches it out of the air. Beside her Jacen jumps and cheers.

“Did you see that?” He yells at her.

Rey gulps.

“Oh, yes.” Heat floods her core as she remembers his hand on her wrist and how gentle his large hands had been on her skin.

She wonders what his hands will be like when he touches more of her.

Oh, shit. 

Now her face is burning as she comes to the realization that she has unconsciously been planning on some sort of physical relationship with him. And then images from dreams from last night return to her in a flood.

Lips and large hands burning a path over her skin and a deep voice in her ear. 

At least that explains why she’s so tired.

Crimson stains her cheeks even as her core aches.

But she should maybe find out if he’s even interested before pursuing…that. He’s been so kind with Jacen, that despite the other awkwardness, she thinks he might be a decent guy to be with. Maybe Finn knows more about him… she should text him.

Except her fucking phone is dead. 

Rey smacks herself on the forehead and goes to find her laptop to email Rose about borrowing a charger…again. 

Rose doesn’t have one, but Kaydel does, and she brings it over with a knowing smirk. 

“You usually don’t care about your phone,” Kaydel says dangling the cord in front of Rey’s nose.

“Well…” Rey starts, “Jacen was texting Kylo and he’s so excited about the game and baseball and everything that I thought he might want to text him after the game.”

“You’re a shit liar,” Kaydel says. All the kids just point at the jar, and Kaydel sighs as she digs in her purse for a quarter. “You’ve got that look.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rey says, primly. 

“Uh-huh. I saw Kylo Ren and I saw _you_ looking at Kylo Ren. You looked like you wanted to climb him like a tree,” Kaydel says knowingly.

“Okay, fine. I’ll admit I find him attractive. But I barely know him!”

“So get to know him.” Kaydel grins at her like a shark. “I’ve gotta go, though. The last time I left those three alone for more than five minutes, all the furniture was mysteriously covered in wrapping paper.” She rolls her eyes fondly. “That’s what I get for letting a bunch of teenagers watch The Office with me.” She pauses on her way out the door. “Let me know if you get lucky!” She yells and runs out, slamming the door behind her.

“What’s that mean?” Jaina has come up beside her and tugs on the pocket of Rey’s sweatpants.

“What, kiddo?” 

“Kaydel hopes you get lucky. What’s ‘at mean?” Jaina’s big eyes turn upward to stare at her all innocently.

Rey is going to kill Kaydel.

“So,” she starts, “sometimes, people get lucky when they’re playing a game.”

“But you’re not playing a game.” Jaina spreads her hands like this is obvious.

“I think Kaydel was just being silly,” Rey explains, hoping that’s a good enough answer.

For once, it is.

“Oohhh,” Jaina nods very seriously. “Kaydel is really silly.” Then the little girl runs away and jumps on her brother’s back where he still sits in front of the tv, religiously copying down numbers into the stats sheet on his program. 

“How’s the game going?” Rey asks Jacen, coming over to stand behind him. Jaina wanders off again.

“It’s okay, but not great. There’s only a two-point lead, and they’ve caught up every time we get a run.” He doesn’t turn away from the screen.

“How’s Finn playing?” 

“Pretty good.”

“And Kylo?” She asks, knowing that Jacen won’t care that she’s asking about him. He’s Kylo’s biggest fan, after all.

“Kylo’s doing great! He caught that one you saw, plus a couple others, and he’s had a few really good hits.” 

Rey takes the borrowed charger into her room, plugs her phone in, and leaves it so she won’t be bothered with obsessing over when it will come back on. She plays with the two little girls for a while when Jacen announces that the game is going into extra innings and that Kylo is first up to bat in the next inning.

Rey plops down on the floor beside him to watch. The camera gets a good angle from behind, showing just how broad his back is. Kylo gives the bat a couple of loose practice swings, then squares up his feet and shoulders, readying himself for the first pitch. Rey holds a breath as the first pitch is called a strike; it went straight down the middle. Kylo resets his stance, shaking his shoulders, and leaning forward a little more, and this time, the angle really emphasizes his ass in those tight white pants. Her mouth waters and she wants to sink her nails into his ass _without_ those tight white pants. The next pitch is a foul; so is the third. The fourth is a grounder that goes right beneath the glove of the shortstop, allowing Kylo to make it all the way to second base. 

A player she doesn’t recognize steps up to the plate, but Rey stays put. This player is smaller and lighter looking than Kylo, and his first hit is caught by the first baseman. Phas is up next, and the camera catches her evil-looking grin as she rolls her shoulders before jamming the batting helmet over her platinum hair. She’s a lefty, so the camera catches her face as she swings, and it is a terrifyingly beautiful thing to behold as she hits her first pitch out between center and left. Kylo makes it to third; Phas makes it to first. 

Finn bats fourth, and he bats what Jacen says is a sacrifice-fly that allows Kylo to slide into home and Phas gets to third. Except Kylo is limping when he stands to walk back to the dugout. His teammates all pile out to bump knuckles and slap him on the back and cheer. Finn tucks himself under Kylo’s arm to help him the rest of the way into the dugout, and Rey and Jacen stare at each other in shock.

“What happened?” They yell at the same time.

“I don’t know!” They both scream.

“We won, though,” Jacen says, a little subdued. 

“Do you want to text him? It’ll probably be a while before he can text though. Finn said their coach won’t let them have their phones during games.” 

“Can I?” 

“Sure,” Rey says. “It’s plugged in, so just send him whatever and leave it on the charger, please. I don’t want it to die again.” 

~

Her phone dings a few hours later. For once it’s fully charged and in her pocket. She’s taking the kids for a walk to their neighborhood park. Figuring it’s Rose or Kaydel saying they’re already there, she ignores the ding. 

It’s a nice sunny day, the kind of day that isn’t sure if it’s spring or summer, and keeps going back and forth. Despite the sun, Rey, as always, is freezing, and she wraps her cardigan tighter around herself as the kids run a few feet ahead of her on the sidewalk. When the park is close enough, she tells them go on ahead and she’ll catch up in a minute. Immediately, the two little girls head for the sandbox, while Jacen watches from the swingset. Rey pulls out her phone.

_I have three swear words left? How bout fuck, fuck, fuck._

Yes, please, she thinks.

_That one’s my favorite._

_This is Kylo. Did I tell you that already?_

_I think I did._

_You’re pretty._

What. The. Fuck.

**kylo? you okay? how’s your leg? jacen and i saw you score and then limp off**

She chooses not to acknowledge all of the messages that he sent because what the hell.

_You guys watched me?_

_That’s nice._

_You’re nice._

_I’m okay. Sprained my ankle. Doctor gave me pain meds._

_They’re goooood._

_Hahahaha_

Rey does not know how to respond to any of…that, so she goes to sit on the swing next to Jacen’s. When she tells him that it’s just a sprained ankle, he looks relieved for a second, and then concerned.

“Will he be able to play anymore?”

“I don’t know. I’ll ask him.”

**Jacen wants to know if you’ll be able to keep playing? sorry about your ankle.**

_I think so. It’s just a sprain._

_Doc says they’ll check it in a week to see, but I can’t play anymore this week._

_Booooo._

Rey is a little concerned, so she texts Finn.

**peanuttttt we saw the game! great job! um is kylo okay?**

_Yeah, he’s good. A little loopy now, though._

A picture comes through of Finn giving a thumbs up and a confused looking Kylo doing the same beside him. 

**omg lol**

_You’re so pretty!_

**umm. Finn?**

_Kylo._

_Stole Finn’s phone._

The ringtone she’d set for Finn, Happy by Pharrell, starts playing as her phone lights up with a FaceTime call. Rey isn’t certain if she is apprehensive or excited as she takes the call.

A blur of black and brown flashes as what she thinks are Finn and Kylo’s heads roll back and forth. They’re…wrestling? A hint of gold crosses the screen and then both men are yowling in pain as Phas yanks them apart by the ears. She squints at the phone for a moment, and Rey gives a little wave.

“Rey!” Finn and Kylo shout at the same time. Finn sounds exasperated and Kylo sounds…different. 

Jacen’s ears perk up.

“Is that Kylo?” he asks Rey.

“Yes,” she says, “but he’s a little high on pain meds, I think.” She’s trying not to laugh.

“Is that Jacen?” Kylo yells at the phone. Finn appears to have taken it back, but is now holding the phone in front of his face and is silently laughing and pointing over his shoulder at Kylo, who’s making grabby hands at the phone. “Hi, Jacen! Heyyyy Rey!” His voice drops an octave when he says her name. 

“Kylo! We saw the game! It was awesome! You did awesome!!” Jacen’s excitement bubbles over and he rushes his words out.

Finn looks a little hurt, but Jacen runs over to the little girls and doesn’t notice.

“I had more hits than him,” Finn says, and Rey can’t resist needling him a bit.

“But Kylo broke the tie.” Rey sees Kylo’s chest puff up a little at her praise.

“But but but,” Finn splutters and she grins at him.

“You did well, Peanut,” she says fondly.

Behind him, Kylo is struggling to open a pack of gum. When he finally gets it open, all the pieces fall out because he’s managed to tear the cardboard apart. He stares down sadly, pouting a little. 

_Help him_ she mouths at Finn. Finn leans forward, and Rey sees that they’re on the travel bus. Finn sits back up, partially unwraps a piece of gum, and hands it to Kylo.

“Here you go, buddy.” 

Kylo looks like someone has handed him the best gift he’s ever received as he shoves the gum in his mouth and would have likely stuck the paper in with it if Phas hadn’t grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Fucking lightweight,” she mutters under her breath.

Rey giggles.

Kylo freezes like a deer in headlights, and then ducks to hide behind Finn.

“Umm. So how was the trip?” she asks Finn. 

“Good, good,” Finn says absently, trying to get the much larger man out from behind his back on the small seat. “Kylo, what the shit!”

“It’s Rey!!” Kylo says in a stage whisper. “She’s so pretty!” 

“Yeah, so why don’t you talk to the pretty girl?” Finn looks like he’s having entirely too much fun with this.

“Finn!” Rey hisses.

“Nuh uh,” Kylo says.

Finn starts making very pointed hand gestures between Rey on the phone and Kylo behind him, but she can’t quite decipher them.

“Kylo? Are you feeling okay?” Rey says when she’s tired of trying to figure out what the hell is up with Finn.

Kylo’s dark head slowly rises up behind Finn’s shoulder and he nods. He is apparently really enjoying the gum; his jaw works like crazy and she can tell he’s moving it around inside his mouth. His lips open a bit and his tongue pokes out just the tiniest bit.

Oh.

Oh shit.

_I’ll give you somewhere to put that tongue_ , a voice says in her head. It’s evil Rey, come out to play.

Finn is talking but Rey can only focus on Kylo and his delicious mouth. He continues doing things with his lips and tongue and she can’t. look. away. His eyes close and he looks very, very serious, he takes a huge gulp of air, and then he blows an enormous bubble right beside Finn’s ear. It pops loudly, making Finn jump and covering Kylo’s face in sticky blue goo.

“Rey, we’re at the hotel now, so you’re gonna have to talk to _those two_ later.” Phas reappears on the screen and jerks her thumb toward Finn and Kylo, who appear to be grappling again.

“That’s okay, my phone looks like it’s going to die again, anyway.” Even though she’d just charged it. Shit. “Bye, guys!” she trills and ends the call.

Loud, snorting laughter sounds behind her and Rey nearly falls out of her swing. Rose and Kaydel have shown up at the exact right, or wrong, time. 

“Rey’s so pretty!” Rose puts on a mocking deep voice and pretends to swoon as Kaydel fans herself. 

“Shut up. Assholes.” But Rey’s grinning too. Medicated Kylo is… interesting, and Rey wonders how she can get him to loosen up without resorting to mind-altering drugs.

~

The next day, the doorbell rings around noon, right when Rey’s about to sit down to lunch. Naturally, she stuffs half her sandwich in her mouth before answering the door and is surprised to see a brown-uniformed delivery man through the peephole. Still chewing, she opens the door. The man holds up a clipboard and asks her name. Rey holds up a finger while she finishes chewing and then gives it to him. The clipboard is presented for her to sign, so she does and takes the proffered box.

Curious to see if she’s done online shopping in her sleep again, Rey takes the box in and cuts it open with the same knife she used to make her sandwich. Oops. Inside the box are three smaller boxes, and she opens the smallest box first. Inside is a portable battery charger that has a solar panel and a brick for wall charging. Huh. Rey has no memory of even searching for it, but it’s pretty nifty. The next box contains five extra-long charger cords. Also useful, but odd. Her sleep-shopping is usually random, impractical things like cat-shaped glasses holders or miniature whoopee cushions. The final, largest box contains a lovely, shiny new iPhone.

Rey gasps.

What the fuck?

There’s no way she would ever order a brand-new phone. Usually, Rey gets refurbs or hand-me-downs but never a brand new phone. Her hands are shaking as she swipes through the packing bubble thingies and finds a tiny square of paper at the bottom of the box.

_This is for you. I heard you say your phone was dying again and I wanted to talk to you more and hopefully now it won’t die again. Kylo Ren, here. Okay, bye._ Pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers, Rey tries to control her feelings with yoga breathing. On the one hand, it was sweet that he wanted to talk to her. But on the other… who the hell just buys someone they barely know a new phone? A loud groan escapes her and she claps her hand over her mouth so she doesn’t wake the littles. They just went down for a nap. Jacen does pop his head in the kitchen, though.

“You okay?” He sounds tentative.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You didn’t sound okay,” he says coming all the way in the room.

“Well… it’s complicated.”

“Oh…” he sounds hurt and turns away.

“It’s Kylo,” she explains, not wanting to hurt his feelings. “He sent me a phone. It’s kinda weird right?” 

Jacen blinks at her.

“I’m ten,” he says. “Everything grownups do is weird. But Kylo is nice and he was probably just trying to help.” He shrugs. “Ask him about it or send it back if it bothers you.” 

That is good advice from a kid. She sighs.

“You’re right. He was a little bit off yesterday.”

“That was great!” Jacen laughs. “He’s really funny. And he thinks you’re pretty.”

“That’s not a good reason to buy someone a very expensive gift.” 

Rey is very sensitive about money and gifts, always has been.

Jacen shrugs again.

“Ask him about it.” And then he seems to be done with the conversation. “Can I look up more stats on your computer?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” 

Rey considers what she says to Kylo as she finishes her lunch.

**kylo... you sent me a new phone? i barely know you, dude.**

_Ah, shit._

_I actually did that?_

_I thought it was just a dream. Or something._

_I’m sorry._

**good pain meds, huh?**

_Fuck, Rey. I really am sorry._

_This is awkward._

_Um. Did I do anything else yesterday?_

**you....don’t remember?**

_Well… I’m reading my texts now._

_And I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable._

**no no it’s okay!**

_I do think you’re pretty, though._

_But that’s not how I wanted to tell you._

_SHIIIIIT._

_Sorry_.

**i think you’re pretty too. but umm. about the phone? it’s too much i can’t accept it**

_I don’t think anyone has ever called me pretty before._

**it’s true. but focus. the phone?**

_Keep it. Please?_

_I don’t have the chance to buy gifts for… well anyone, really._

**can i pay you for it?**

_Absolutely NOT._

_Seriously._

_Your phone seems really unreliable. Think of it as a safety measure if nothing else._

**can i do something nice for you then?**

Rey can think of several nice things she’d like to do to him, but she thinks maybe she shouldn’t say that.

Yet.

_Honestly?_

_Can you just…talk to me? Or text me?_

_I looked back at my Amazon account and high Kylo is right. I’d like to talk to you more._

That breaks her resolve, a little. He’s lonely.

**i can do that. are you…okay?**

The three little dots appear and reappear so many times that she puts her phone down and leaves the room for a while. She comes back when she hears it ding.

_I’m better now that I’ve met you._


	8. (Don't) Put me in Coach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things escalate quickly in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Rey is drunk HighLady, and I have no regerts.
> 
> Thanks to skyeryder01 for input and beta reading.

“Ren.” Snoke’s voice cracks through the air like a whip. 

Kylo lifts his head a bit from the book he’s reading but says nothing. 

“Where the hell have you been?” 

“Sprained ankle.” Kylo bites the words out just short of a snarl. Snoke brings out the worst in him. 

Snoke snorts. 

“So wrap it and get to practice.” 

“Saw the doctor after the game. She said to stay off it,” Kylo says. 

The old man’s face is weathered and leathery as he invades Kylo’s space. 

“Pathetic.” His voice is a deadly soft whisper. His breath is fetid in Kylo’s face. 

Kylo pushes up off the chair where he’s been waiting for the team’s physician to meet him. In his heyday, Snoke was tall, taller even than Kylo. But now he’s old and stooped and they’re eye to eye. 

“Kylo!” A voice chirps from the doorway. A compactly built woman enters and walks smoothly over to where Kylo and Snoke still glare daggers at each other. “Are you ready?” She comes over and places a firm hand on his arm. 

Snoke bares his teeth but says nothing as Kylo follows the woman to a small room inside the field house at Jawa Stadium. 

Inside, she sanitizes her hands and pats a paper-covered examination table in a silent order for him to sit. The previous night, he’d refused to accept crutches and now he limps over to the table and boosts himself up onto the table with a crunch of paper. He backs up so his leg is propped up enough for her to roll up the leg of his team sweatpants and hiss. Black and purple stain his swollen ankle. Gently, the doctor rotates his foot and pokes and prods the bruise. 

“How bad is it?” she asks him. 

“I’ve had worse injuries.” He shrugs. 

“Tough guy, huh?” The doctor stares at him for a moment. Then she presses down on the worst of the bruise. 

Kylo jerks his leg away and resists the urge to growl at the tiny doctor. 

“I thought so. You need to be honest with me,” she says coolly, “or I can’t do my job.” 

“Fine,” Kylo grunts. “It’s pretty painful, but I don’t think it’s broken. It just rolled when I slid home.” 

“Take the week off. Ice it and stay off it and you’ll be fine to play again for the next home series.” 

“But,” he starts to speak, but the doctor interrupts, holding up a hand. 

“No buts. If you play on a sprained ankle, the probability of severe injury increases. I’ll check it again once we’re back in Chandrila.” 

Kylo scowls. This is what he expected, but he knows that Snoke has some bizarre need for absolute control, and he doesn’t want to hear the old man screaming at him. Again. 

Without speaking, he shoves off the table and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. As expected, Snoke is still waiting for him, leaning back in a large chair like it’s a throne. Snoke doesn’t say a word, he just taps a bent, arthritic finger on the arm of the chair. 

“Can’t play.” Kylo crosses his arms over his chest. “For a week.” 

“ _Pathetic_.” The old man spits the word like poison. It’s one of his favorites. “You’ll never get better if you can’t play through the pain and _use it to your advantage_.” 

Kylo takes a step forward, settling into a stance that feels too much like he’s bracing for a blow. 

“You’ll never be as good as Solo. Or Skywalker.” 

Kylo knows that; of course, he does. No one will ever be as good as the legendary Han Solo or infamous Anakin Skywalker. 

“So you _will_ play tonight,” Snoke sounds smug. 

Kylo’s head hangs, dark hair concealing his face as his hands clench into fists at his sides at the command. 

Slowly, he limps into the locker room, slamming every door he meets. His bag crashes onto the wooden bench in the center of the room and falls off, spilling its contents on the floor. 

“Fuck.” 

Half his shit has rolled away and he groans at the pain shooting through his leg. He’s neglected to take the stronger pain medication the doctor had given him after he’d gotten hurt; he does not want a repeat of his awkward interactions from the previous day. An image of how ridiculous he’d been with her flashes through his mind, and he throws his cleats back onto the bench with a satisfying bang. For good measure, he slams his batting helmet back into the bag with all the force he can muster. A few times. Possibly more like ten. Once his shit has been replaced, he throws the offending bag into the locker he’s chosen and pulls a stretchy bandage and tape out of his pocket and plops onto the bench to stabilize his ankle. 

“Need a hand?” Finn’s overly happy voice cuts through the silence in the room. 

“I’ve got it,” Kylo growls. Then he remembers that they’re friends now. “But thanks, I guess.” 

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere with ice on that?” Finn asks, pulling a bag of sunflower seeds out of his pocket and shoveling a handful in his mouth. 

“Snoke says I’m playing.” Kylo pulls his foot up on the bench, rolls up the leg of his sweats, and slides off his sock and running shoe. His ankle is still black and swollen, and he sees Finn’s finger reaching for it like he’s going to poke it. Kylo swats his hand away. “It’s fine. Just a sprain.” 

“Yeah, but won’t you make it worse?” Finn says around a mouthful of seeds, spraying a few. 

“Maybe.” Kylo shrugs. “Nothing I can do about it.” 

“ _That_ looks frightful.” Phas has entered. She leans on the bank of lockers opposite Kylo and Finn and holds her hand out to Finn for the bag of seeds. They’re pickle-flavored and Kylo is simultaneously repulsed and intrigued. “You’re playing?” Phas puts one seed at a time into her mouth. 

Kylo nods and adjusts the positioning of his foot to make it as painless as possible, then he slowly starts wrapping the elastic around it. 

“That’s bullshit,” Phas says conversationally, popping another seed between her teeth. “Has this happened before?” 

“Once or twice.” Kylo grits his teeth and tugs the bandage tighter. 

“Really?” Finn sounds concerned. 

“Yeah. Haven’t you played through a sprain before?” Kylo keeps his head down, wrapping tape over the elastic to keep it in place. 

“Umm. No?” Finn says, and Kylo looks up to Phas. She shakes her head, blonde brows pulling together. 

“Kylo.” She says his name like a command. “How many times has Snoke made you play with an injury?” 

Kylo finishes with the tape and pulls his sock and shoe back on. Gingerly, he stands and tests putting weight on his ankle. It hurts, but at least it’s better than before. 

“It doesn’t matter.” He’d pretty much resigned himself to this after the second time Snoke had put him back on the field after an injury. 

Limping, Kylo leaves them to get dressed and head to the light practice the team always has a few hours before away games begin. 

After the practice is over and the team has been fed their once again bland lunches of steamed salmon, brown rice, and a sad vegetable mix, Kylo finds a quiet place to hunker down without being seen. 

_Hey, Rey._

 _Can I call you? I’m having a shit day and I want to talk about anything but baseball._

He immediately asks himself what the hell he’s doing and shoves the phone into his pocket and braces his hands on his knees with his head in his hands. 

A few minutes later, his phone vibrates. 

**sure! we’re at the park again for a bit lol it’s so nice out**

Before he can stop himself, he presses the green symbol beside her name. 

“Hi!” Her voice is sweet and instantly calming. “Are you okay? How’s your ankle? Oh, hang on, here’s Jacen!” 

Rustling for a second. 

“Hey, Kylo!” 

“Hey, kid. How’s it going?” 

“Good! We’re at the park! I hope your ankle’s better.” 

Kylo feels a pull in his chest. What did he do that made the kid care so much? 

“Yeah, it’s a lot better. Thanks for asking. You still wanna learn some more?” 

The screaming in his ear nearly bursts his eardrum, but Kylo feels himself almost smiling. 

“Sorry about that.” Rey’s back. “But he’s just so excited. He’s writing down- oh wait. You don’t want to talk about baseball. What _did_ you want to talk about?” 

“Literally anything else.” Kylo looks up at the walls and ceiling for inspiration. Nothing. “Umm… what’s your favorite food?” Lame, Solo, real lame. 

“Anything!” She laughs. It sounds like champagne bubbles and the feeling he gets from watching the Friday night fireworks at the stadium. 

“Come on, there’s gotta be something.” 

“Well…I love pasta. With any kind of sauce that’s really, really garlicky and buttery. Horrible for dates, but good for the soul.” She laughs again. “Really, though, I’ll eat anything that doesn’t eat me first.” 

He breaks out in a cold sweat. 

_Dates._

“What’s yours?” she asks him. 

“Huh. You know I haven’t actually thought about it in a while.” 

“Oh…well think about it now.” He can hear the frown in her voice. Oh, right. She’s weird about food. 

“Gnocchi carbonara.” 

“So, like, pasta with buttery garlicky sauce?” she asks. 

“I guess so.” Kylo huffs a laugh. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever had carbonara before. Or gnocchi? That’s the little pillow ones, right?” 

“I’ll make it for you one day.” His voice drops an octave. 

“You COOK?” She squawks. “Marry me?!” 

His heart stops beating. 

“I mean, umm, ya know.” Is it possible to hear a blush over the phone? Kylo thinks he hears the most delicious pink tinge creep over her cheeks. “Because I need a personal chef. I’m a shit cook.” 

He hears a rustling and a muffled yell about the jar. 

“You have a dirty mouth, too, just like me,” he says to himself, thinking she won’t hear him because she’s still talking to someone else. 

But she squeaks. 

“Shit! Sorry! I didn’t mean it like that.” 

Yes, he did. 

“Anyway.” Why does he always make things so awkward? “Tell me another favorite. Dessert this time.” 

She’s silent for a few seconds and he can hear birds chirping and what he thinks is the creak of a swingset. He imagines her swinging, little wisps of her hair blowing in her face, and him pushing her swing. 

Jesus, fuck, Solo. How old _are_ you? 

“You tell me yours, and I’ll tell you mine,” she says. 

He thinks she’s smiling. He hopes she is. 

“Freshly-baked, perfectly-made pain au chocolat,” he says immediately. 

“Yes! That! That’s mine too!” she says. “Except I’ve never had it. I mean I’ve had the little chocolate croissants from the supermarket, but never fresh real ones. There’s no way I couldn’t love it though, with all that butter. Mmm.” 

She did the little moan she’d made while eating and he just _knows_ her eyes rolled back in her head. 

“I could make that for you too?” He has to clear his throat a little because his breath caught. 

“No way!” Her voice is almost a shriek. “You can make _that_? I’ve seen Bake Off. It takes _hours _.”__

__“I took a couple cooking classes in college,” he says, shrugging though she can’t see him. “I like it. I just don’t do it anymore because I don’t like to get too crazy when I’m cooking for myself. I’d like to cook for you, though.”_ _

__“Okay,” she breathes._ _

__He wonders what her voice would sound like whispering in his ear and can’t speak for a moment._ _

__“Kylo?”_ _

__“Yeah?”_ _

__“Are you… are you okay now?”_ _

__He looks down at his ankle and sighs._ _

__“Yeah, thanks. This was…nice.”_ _

__“Good!” He can hear her smile. “I’ve got to go, though. Jaina has to go potty.”_ _

__He laughs out loud at that._ _

__“Of course she does. Tell her I said hi, yeah?” He’s a little disappointed to let her go, but duty calls them both._ _

__“Yeah! Bye, Kylo.”_ _

__Does she sound disappointed too?_ _

__“Bye, Rey.”_ _

__About an hour later, Kylo is in the locker room in his uniform, adjusting the wrapping on his ankle when his phone buzzes a few times from inside his bag._ _

__**Hi, Kylo! Good luck!**_ _

__**Even though you’re not playing.** _ _

__**Good luck to the whole team, I guess.** _ _

__**(This is Jacen.)** _ _

__He doesn’t text back; he doesn’t really have much time before he has to go out on the field. Behind him, cleats scrape over the floor and locker doors slam. Beside him, Finn does a weird little hype-up dance. On his other side, Phas is just glaring at herself in a tiny handheld mirror. The phone buzzes again._ _

__This time it’s a picture of Jacen and Rey with the two little girls. Jacen is fully outfitted in all of the First Order gear he’d gotten at the stadium shop, and he’s trying very hard to look serious. Rey and the little girls are all smiles and holding a sign that they clearly finger painted that says “Get Well Soon!”_ _

__Ah, shit. He didn’t tell her that he _is_ playing. __

____

____

___Jacen, I am actually playing today. Thanks for the sign, guys. I’ll talk to you later, okay?_ _ _

__Kylo pops a couple of Advil and joins the rest of his teammates as they file out onto the field for the anthem. It’s just a sprain, and he’s played through worse, but he’s pissed about Snoke. Burning, angry eyes bore into his back as he passes the old man on his way to center, and Kylo chooses not to hear whatever slurs the man is whispering at him and resists the urge to throw a punch. Maybe he would have a few years ago, but the thought of what Rey, or even Jacen, might think stays his fist. So he slowly jogs out to his usual spot, trying not to limp noticeably._ _

__Luckily, the Raiders aren’t on top form, so he barely has any hits to field._ _

__And he’s too tired and angry to care that he strikes out at least twice, but he isn’t really paying attention. He can still feel Snoke’s eyes on him, but he notices that Finn and Phasma are watching Snoke, too, and that helps. Surprisingly._ _

__During the seventh-inning stretch, Dr. Kalonia storms into the dugout and pulls him aside._ _

__“Kylo, I thought I told you not to play on that ankle.” She manages to look down her nose at him, despite being a foot shorter._ _

__“It’s just a sprain.” Kylo resettles his hat on his sweaty hair._ _

__Dr. Kalonia narrows her eyes at him, then looks between him and Snoke. She actually bares her teeth._ _

__“You’re done here. Come on.” She grabs him by the front of his jersey and with surprising strength, drags him toward the door._ _

__“Where the hell are you going?” Snoke has pushed himself between Kylo and Dr. Kalonia, completely disregarding the small woman._ _

__That is a mistake._ _

__She spins around and gets up in Snoke’s face, shaking her finger at him._ _

__“You went against my orders and made this man play on a sprained ankle. He would have been fine if he stayed off it for a week, but now he’s probably damaged it further.” The woman is normally calm and friendly, but Snoke has apparently pissed her off enough._ _

__“It’s not the first time!” Finn pipes up._ _

__“Kylo’s played injured before.” Phas comes up and stands behind him._ _

__“Is this true?” Dr. Kalonia practically growls._ _

__Snoke coughs and splutters but can’t get any words out._ _

__“I’m reporting you to the Federation. You’ll be gone by morning. Now MOVE.” She shoulders past Snoke, still dragging Kylo with her._ _

__Bewildered, he follows along._ _

__“This would never have happened with an Organa in charge,” she mutters once they’re in the hallway leading under the stadium._ _

__Kylo coughs._ _

__“I read your file, you know.” She looks sideways at him. “I’m not sure that I understand why you’re here and not with-“_ _

__“Don’t. Please.” He cannot hear their names, not now._ _

__“All right, all right.” She raises her hands in a placating motion. “We’re getting you an ice pack and you are going straight back to the hotel, and then I have several phone calls to make.” She still looks angry, but her face softens a little when she looks up at him. “I’m sorry that you had to go through that, but I’m going to do everything I can to make it right.”_ _

__Kylo just nods. He doesn’t feel like he can speak when it feels so strange to have someone sticking up for him._ _

__When he’s finally ensconced in the hotel bed with the ice pack wrapped around his ankle, his phone starts blowing up with notifications._ _

__Finn texts, then Phas, then Poe messages him on Facebook, and then more from Finn and Phas. Kylo elects to check Facebook first; he’ll see the other two in person later anyway._ _

__**Hey man, you okay? Looks like they pulled you in the 7th?**_ _

__**Oh shit man, you’re on the news. Did he really make you play with all those injuries?** _ _

__Kylo sighs and responds._ _

___Yes_. _ _

__He does not feel like talking to anyone right now._ _

__His phone vibrates again, and on the off chance, he looks at it._ _

__Okay, maybe he feels like talking to one person._ _

__“Kylo! What the hell is going on? Are you okay? Finn said you had to play and then a doctor came and pulled you out of the game and now there are news articles about it!” Rey’s voice is a little shrill and she sounds worried._ _

__He speaks when she stops to take a breath._ _

__“I’m okay. I mean, my ankle still hurts, but it was just a sprain. I didn’t have to run a lot so it’s probably not much worse than it was yesterday.”_ _

__“Are you sure? The articles said you played through multiple injuries?” She sounds more worried, and he feels that pull in his chest again._ _

__“Rey.” His voice goes deeper when he says her name, and he thinks he hears a little intake of breath on her end. “I’m fine. Really. You seem upset, though.”_ _

__“Well, I am!” He imagines her crossing her arms over her chest and huffing up at him. “Jacen saw your message right before the game and freaked out, hollering about you playing on your ankle and then begging me to find the game on tv so he could watch and make sure everything would be okay. And then somehow, the stadium cameras caught what happened with you and your coach and we saw that woman pulling you out of the dugout and Jacen was so worried that you were in trouble or something. I tried to calm him down, but he just wouldn’t listen. I tried a couple of times to get through to you so _you_ could talk to him and calm him down, but I think he wore himself out worrying so much and he’s just passed out in his room now. He’ll be happy to hear you’re okay, though. And you really are okay?” He’s amused that she asks again. _ _

__“I really am okay.”_ _

__“I'm glad. I was worried, too.” Her voice sounds small._ _

__“Why are you so worried?” He can’t decide if he really wants to know the answer to that question. It feels like going down a dangerous road._ _

__“Dammit, Ren.”_ _

__For a moment, he really wishes he could tell her his real name and hear her call him that instead. He’s starting to hate Kylo Ren._ _

__“Dirty mouth, Rey.”_ _

__Shit, not again._ _

__She doesn’t answer, and for a moment he thinks she’s hung up on him._ _

__“You have no idea.”_ _

__What._ _

__WHAT._ _

__The sound that comes out of his mouth is more dying animal than grown-ass man._ _

__“Umm. Kylo?”_ _

__“Sorry. You were saying?”_ _

__She giggles. She actually giggles at him._ _

__“Oh, just that, you know, us Brits swear a lot more than most Americans. That’s all,” Her voice is too bright and her words are a tiny bit too fast._ _

__“Hmm… is that really all?” Oh, gods, is he really doing this?_ _

__“Is what all?” She sounds all innocent, and then giggles again and he hears a clink of glass and a pouring sound._ _

__“Rey,” he growls._ _

__“Gods your voice is so _deep_.” She sounds breathless. _ _

__That gives him an idea._ _

__“Do you like my voice, Rey?”_ _

__“Mhmm.”_ _

__“If you tell me what you really meant, I’ll tell you one thing too. Deal?”_ _

__“Deal.”_ _

__“So tell me what you really meant.”_ _

__“I will,” she says, still breathless, “but I want to know something first. Do you _like_ my dirty mouth, Kylo?” _ _

__“I think you know I do, Rey.”_ _

__She hums._ _

__“Is there anything, in particular, you’d like me to do with my dirty mouth?”_ _

__His body jackknifes and he almost falls off the bed. His phone falls out of his shaking hand and hits the floor with a very loud thud._ _

__“Kylo? Kylo! What happened?” Her voice sounds far away._ _

__Pull yourself together, Solo, for fuck’s suck._ _

___Sake._ _ _

__He fumbles around for his phone. When he picks it back up, she’s breathing very hard in his ear._ _

__“Are _you_ okay?” he asks. “Yep!” Her voice is overly-bright again. “Just spilled some wine is all.” _ _

__“Oh, okay.” His voice is shaky. “So you were saying. About your dirty mouth?”_ _

__“Mmm. Yes. Like I said earlier, you have no idea how dirty it can be.” She sounds coy, now._ _

__She’s playing with him._ _

__“Do you want to find out how dirty it is, Kylo?” she slurs._ _

__It is at that moment that he realizes that she might actually be drunk._ _

__“Rey. Sweetheart.” It comes out as a groan, and he hears a sharp intake of breath. “We can’t do this now. You’re drinking.”_ _

__His phone beeps in his ear._ _

__She’s _FaceTiming_? Shit. Slowly, and he’s not sure if it’s with reluctance or reverence, he answers. _ _

__Her lovely face fills the screen. Her lower lip pokes out and he desperately wants to bite it._ _

__But she’s drunk._ _

__He can tell. She has the tell-tale glassy eyes and a deep flush over her cheeks that he wishes he’d put there, not the alcohol._ _

__“Kylooooo,” she pouts. “Play with meeeee.”_ _

__“Believe me, Rey, there is nothing I’d like more than to find out more about your mouth. But you’re drunk and I’m not doing that. You’d regret it tomorrow. I don’t want you to regret anything you do with me.”_ _

__Her nose scrunches._ _

__He loves it._ _

__She sighs._ _

__“Fine.” She rolls her eyes at him, still pouting._ _

__He can’t see much other than her face, but he can tell she gets up and is walking into another room. A jaw-cracking yawn splits her face in two. He watches the screen around her get dark and sees what looks like a blanket pulled up around her, covering the bottom half of her face._ _

__“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?” Her eyelids are already starting to droop._ _

__“Sure, sweetheart.”_ _

__“Mmm.” She hums at him, eyes nearly closed._ _

__After a few moments, the phone screen goes dark, but he stays on the line for a few more minutes until he thinks he can hear her snoring lightly._ _

__“Good night, Rey,” he whispers and disconnects the call._ _

__He lets his head fall back against the cheap, fake wood of the headboard and sits in silence for a while contemplating the events of the day._ _

__Eventually, Finn comes back in. Phas pokes her head in but doesn’t come in all the way. She gives him a once-over, and nods at him before she leaves without speaking. Finn watches him for a moment, jaw working._ _

__“Is everything okay?” he asks._ _

__“Don’t worry about me, dude. I’m good.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Don't worry about me dude. I'm good." came from my friend to whom this fic is dedicated. it seemed appropriate.


	9. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few surprises are in store for Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to skyeryder01 for betaing this and listen to my whining about being unsure if things *work*.
> 
> It's still me, I promise. I just switched my name to my twitter handle because the other was too damn long.

Rey awakes to a tiny, warm body snuggled up against hers… and a blistering headache. She cracks one eyelid to peer down at Jaina, whose sleep-tangled rat’s nest hair is tickling Rey’s nose. Slowly, so she doesn’t wake the little girl, Rey smooths Jaina’s hair down and tucks the little girl’s head under her chin. She doesn’t go back to sleep, but she appreciates the comfort of another person beside her, even if it’s not quite what she’d dreamed of waking up to.

Her drunken conversation of the night before plays through her mind, and she decides that she doesn’t regret it. Kylo’s reactions were surprising, but at least now they’re even. Sort of. His medicated phone conversation had been much less…suggestive.

But at least she was honest.

Beside her, Jaina twitches in her sleep, and Rey gently rubs her back. Jaina often has nightmares and regularly rotates through climbing into bed with Jacen and Alema, too. The door to her bedroom slowly creaks open, and Jacen and Alema’s large eyes peek at her from the doorway. Smiling, she waves them over to join her and Jaina. They all snuggle together under the covers, and Rey feels a pang, as she always does, when she realizes how much she’d missed as a child. She’s incredibly grateful that she can give her babies what she never had. 

The doorbell rings, and everyone groans, Rey, in particular, as her headache splits her head in two. Bleary-eyed, she looks through the peephole to see a delivery driver in a bright yellow uniform, so she cracks the door, hiding her body behind it so the driver can’t see her ratty pajama top.

“Rey Niima?”

“That’s me,” she says hoarsely.

“Got a delivery.” They hand over a large box and a cardboard drink holder. 

“Um. Thanks? What’s the name on the order?”

The driver peers at the order on their phone.

“Kylo Ren. Is everything there?”

Rey has no idea.

“I guess so. Thanks!”

She takes her delivery inside and can’t help but smile. 

When she gets to the kitchen, she opens the box and swoons. Chocolate croissants. The scent of flaky, buttery pastry and rich chocolate makes her mouth water. The drinks in the carrier are marked as one coffee and three hot chocolates. She’s seriously considering making him a real marriage offer if this is how he treats her when he barely knows her.

“Guys, come here!” She calls to the kids, and they all troop out of her bedroom into the kitchen. “Kylo sent us breakfast!” she says and then takes a long drink of her coffee. It’s _amazing_ and just what she needed. She snags two of the pastries and goes to grab her phone off the charger to text Kylo, but he’s beaten her to it.

_Good morning, Rey._

_I hope you don’t mind, but I sent you and the kids something._

_I thought you might need it after last night._

**KYLO OMG YOU SENT ME FOOD!!!! 🤩🤩THANK YOU!!!**

_How are you feeling? You seemed a little bit… off last night._

**much better now thanks to you**

**umm. sorry if i got a bit… forward last night… hope i didn’t offend you**

**you’re right though. awkward phone sex is not the way to start this…whatever this is like we haven’t even been on a date or whatever**

**but anywayyssss lol this is too much too early in the morning. thanks again for the food lol you’ve elevated yourself to god status to the kids**

And then she mutes the phone and buries it in a drawer. The croissants are lovely and flaky, with heavenly, rich chocolate. When she ventures back into the kitchen, she sees that they have all been devoured, and all that remains are crumbs. 

The doorbell rings again. Jacen hollers that it’s Rose with her kids, and Rey says to let them in. Immediately, Rose makes a beeline for Rey in the kitchen.

“You ordered breakfast delivery and didn’t get me any?” Rose pouts at her.

“Umm.” Rey doesn’t know how to tell her, but she knows it’ll come out eventually anyway. “Kylo got breakfast delivered for me…us.” 

Rose squeals entirely too loudly for Rey’s hangover.

“What happened? At dinner last night you said he was being kind of shy? Sweet, but shy.” Rose is settling in to pick apart every interaction they’ve ever had.

“Well. You know I had a glass of wine with dinner, and I was fine then. But after we got home, I saw that Kylo had texted me saying he had to play on his sprained ankle and Jacen flipped his…” Rey sees the kids watching her and waiting for a slip-up, “S-H-I-T. After he went to sleep, I had another couple glasses because I was upset and worried and then we talked for a while.”

“Must have been some conversation,” Rose says. “Nobody has ever had breakfast delivered to me before.” Her tone is grouchy, but she’s grinning. “What did you talk about?”

“Grown-up stuff.” Rey cuts her eyes to the kids. “Well, sort of. It never got very far. He stopped me because I was drunk, but he was very sweet about it.” 

“Now _that_ is impressive,” Rose says. “Does he have a brother?” 

“I don’t actually know,” Rey says. “All I really know is his favorite food. We haven’t talked that much about him, and besides, we’ve barely seen each other in person and haven’t gone on a date or anything like that.” 

“So you want to go on a date with him?” Rose gets up and starts rummaging through cabinets. Rey points to the one beside the refrigerator, and Rose pulls out a couple of cereal boxes. 

“Yeah.” There’s no point in lying. “Yeah, if he wants to.” 

“Trust me, babe, he wants to. I caught him staring at your ass during that Wii game, and he couldn’t stop watching you the rest of the night.”

All the kids yell at her about the jar, and Rose writes an IOU because she forgot her purse. Again.

“I didn’t notice him watching me,” Rey says. 

“Well he was, so now you _have_ to go out on a date.” Rey starts to say something, but Rose interrupts. “I have spoken.” She holds her hand up and gives Rey a _look_. 

“I was just going to say that he’s probably going to be busy with the season, but I’ll see him if he comes by to help Jacen.” Rey gives Rose the side-eye. “I do want to go on a date. But gods, it’s been forever! I don’t know if I even know what to do on a date!” 

“Yikes, you’re right, wasn’t the last one over a year ago?”

“Yes, and you are not helping.”

“I will help you, young Padawan.” Rose puts on a knowing voice.

“Don’t try to mind trick me,” Rey scowls at her friend. “It’s been a long time for you, too.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me! Rosey needs some-“ 

And then, thankfully, all the little kids start screaming at each other.

Rose is long gone by the time Rey works up the nerve to check her phone again, but she sees nothing. It stings a bit, to see that he hasn’t responded to her admitting that she’d like to go on a date. Maybe she _had_ scared him off. Resisting the urge to go back and reread the articles she’d read last night, Rey gathers up the kids, and takes them for their daily walk to the park. Rey’s lost in thought for the whole walk. She skips and sings with the girls, but for the first time, her heart’s not in it. 

At the entrance to the park, the kids all scatter, and Rey keeps an eye on them as she fills her water bottle at the fountain. Jacen makes a beeline for the swings, and after a moment, the girls follow him too, and they are all jumping and screaming around a large, dark-haired man sitting on a swing.

Her heart stops beating.

No. Fucking. Way.

He turns to face her, and it is. It’s Kylo Ren, sitting in her usual swing, with two little girls climbing in his lap and a very excited Jacen jumping up and down in front of him. He can’t wave because of Jaina and Alema, but he gives her a smirk, and oh, GODS, it does things to her. He smirks more like he knows exactly what it does.

Is this what they are now?

Wait, what exactly are they?

Water trickles over her fingers and Rey realizes that her water bottle is overflowing. Swearing under her breath, she twists the cap on and slowly walks to where Kylo is talking to the kids. 

“-and and and we saw you get pulled away by the doctor, but we didn’t know she was a doctor, and I thought you were in trouble!” Jacen’s little face is pinched in worry. His dark brows so low she can barely see his dark eyes.

“I’m fine, kid. Just a sprain.” Kylo gestures at his wrapped ankle, and Rey’s stomach twists at the sight of the bruise peeking out over the tape.

Jaina has settled herself on one knee and is once again twisting her fingers in his hair. Rey sets her bag down and walks over to gently try to detangle his hair from her fingers because if he doesn’t stop her, she’ll start unintentionally pulling. Rey knows this from experience. His hair is every bit as soft as Rey had imagined and it’s extremely hard for her to avoid taking the little girl’s place on his lap. 

“What are you doing here?” Her voice is entirely too breathless. Yes, she’d wanted to see him again, but this was… unexpected. And so soon after her drunken attempt at phone seduction.

“After last night, team management gave me the night off. The assistant coach is taking over for the rest of the week until the team is back here, and then whoever they hire for Snoke’s replacement starts next week.” His voice sounds lighter than Rey has heard it. 

“But why are you _here_?” 

“Oh,” the tips of his ears and his cheekbones turn pink. “Finn told me you might be here since you come so often. And I just wasn’t ready to go home yet. I needed time to think about Snoke… and stuff.”

“Good!” Jacen interjects. “He sucks.” 

“Jacen,” Rey warns.

“Well he does. And you say worse all the time, Rey.” Jacen wrinkles his nose at her.

“Yes, but I’m a grown-up and I’m British. It’s expected.”

Kylo huffs a laugh beside her and Rey realizes she still has her fingers in his hair. Fuck. Immediately, she removes them, and Kylo looks up at her like he’s disappointed.

“So, kid, wanna play catch?” Kylo points at a gym bag she hadn’t noticed on the ground at their feet.

Of course, Jacen wants to play, so he and Kylo go off to the big open field adjacent to the park while Rey plays with the girls. They aren’t close enough to hear, but Rey watches Jacen and Kylo when she can, and what she observes cracks her heart. Jacen stares wide-eyed at Kylo, nodding and serious about everything. Kylo can’t run, so they’re really just tossing the ball back and forth, but Rey can tell that they’re both actually enjoying it. Both man and boy seem lighter than usual, and she feels close to tears.

She’s swiping at her eyes for the hundredth time when she hears her name.

“Rey-Rey!” 

It’s Rose.

“Is that _Kylo Ren_?”

“Yep,” Rey answers.

“What’s he doing here?” 

“Playing ball with Jacen.” Rey says this like it’s obvious, and it is.

“And why aren’t you over there with them?”

“I wasn’t invited,” Rey says. 

“Hmm.” Rose narrows her eyes and looks between Rey and the far off Kylo. “Hey what are you doing tonight?”

“Tonight? I planned on trying to grill… something.”

“Wrong.” Rose gets an evil grin on her face and takes off.

“Rose. Rose!” Rey can’t follow Rose because she doesn’t want to leave the kids, but she breaks out in a cold sweat, not knowing what the other woman is about to do.

Oddly, Rose does not go to the field where Kylo and Jacen are playing catch. She goes over to lean against a tree trunk and makes what looks like a quick phone call with lots of vigorous nodding and hand-waving. Her evil grin flashes at Rey again before she takes off toward the field.

Like watching a car crash, Rey wants to look away but can’t. 

Rose jogs up to Kylo and talks to him for a moment, then points at Rey. They’re far enough away that Rey can’t really see his face, but she has a feeling that she knows what Rose is doing. After a few minutes, Rose jogs back over, Jacen and Kylo in tow. Grinning at Rey again, Rose gathers up the kids and shoos them over near the duck pond, leaving Rey and Kylo alone.

It occurs to her once again just how large the man is. His body completely blocks her line of sight and she drinks in the sight of his plain black tee stretching across broad shoulders and curving over deliciously defined biceps. And his chest. Her breath hitches as she takes in the outline of what is sure to be an incredible amount of muscle beneath his poor, straining shirt. Her eyes go upward toward the column of his throat and she follows it up to look into his face, where she settles on his dark eyes. He’s peering down into her face with that damn smirk on his incredibly full lips.

“So, Rose has informed me that she and Kaydel have very generously offered to watch the kids tonight.” His voice rumbles out, and Rey wants to be close enough to feel it vibrate against her skin.

“Sorry, what?”

He chuckles.

“Rose and Kaydel are practically forcing us to go out. Together. You and me. If you want to?” 

“Busybodies.” Rey scowls.

“So you don’t want to?” His shoulders sag a bit, and oh, no.

“Yes! Of course I want to.” She pauses, searching for words. “I just, umm. It’s been a while? Since I’ve been on a date. Or… anything.”

His hands flex at his sides, and Rey wants to grab them in her own. But he’d seemed disconcerted the few times she’d touched him, so she shoves them in her pockets instead.

“Oh.” He runs a hand through his hair, looking adorably disheveled. “I haven’t, ah, dated in a while, either. Jesus, fuck, Rey. This is weird.”

“I think it’s because half the time we’ve talked, one of us has been fucked up to some degree.” 

He laughs at that. 

“Let’s start over then,” he says. She nods.

“I’m Rey,” she sticks her hand out.

“I’m…B…Kylo,” he slowly brushes his fingers against hers, he takes her hand and shakes it firmly.

“Nice to meet you, Kylo!” She says brightly. “So, would you like to go on a date with me?” 

“Yes.”

“Good. Pick me up at seven. I’ll see you then.” 

He gazes down at her for a moment, jaw working. He lets her hand go gently and reaches toward her face, but his hand stops just short of her touching face. He pauses for a moment before his fingers reach through the inch of space remaining between them, and he barely grazes her cheekbone. Their eyes lock and electricity shoots through her body. 

Rose interrupts. 

“I see my plans have worked!” She cackles and rubs her hands together like a movie villain. “When are you picking her up?”

“Seven.” Kylo doesn’t break eye contact, but he immediately drops his hand like a teenager caught by a parent.

“Good. So she’ll see you then.” She looks at Rey. “We’ve got work to do.” 

“Bye,” Rey breathes, still not wanting to look away.

“I’ll see you later.” 

Rose breaks their eye contact for them, physically placing herself between them.

“Lovebirds. You’ll have all night to make googley eyes at each other. Now, go on, Sasquatch before I kick you out.” Rose makes shooing motions at Kylo, who does as he’s told, waving to the kids before heading to a shiny black sports car in the parking lot.

“Rose,” Rey begins but Rose cuts her off.

“Nope. I could tell that neither of you were going to make a move, so I did it for you. You’re welcome. Let’s get these guys home, and then we’re calling Kay for a full movie makeover montage! Because we all know you have _nothing_ to wear.” 

Rey groans. Rose is right.

“Fine. Lead the way, tiny bossy one.” 

After what feels like years of trying on outfits and hair and makeup and ‘girly’ things, Rey feels… strange. Not empty, but more like she hasn’t had time to process the whole situation and now it’s 6:45 and all the feelings that should have been spread out over the entire afternoon crash over her all at once. Excitement and nervousness and something she can’t quite name. Her breath comes too shallowly, and she feels cold. 

What if he changes his mind? What if _she_ changes _her_ mind? What if it’s terrible? What if it’s amazing? What if, what if, what if…

A small hand slips into hers and Jacen squeezes her fingers. He leans his head against her arm, and her breath catches in an entirely different way. Affection for this sweet little boy overtakes everything else she’s feeling, and she’s grateful for him. Jaina and Alema run over and stare up at her in awe.

“You look so pretty!” Alema’s eyes are big as saucers.

“Like a pwincess!” Jaina squints up at her. “Are you a pwincess, Wey?” 

“No, baby, but you are!” Rey leans down and scoops all her kids up in a group hug. “Have fun with Rose and Kaydel, okay? I’ll be back after you go to bed, but I’ll come in and check on you okay?” She presses her forehead to each of theirs in turn.

Jacen looks at her, and she can see him bite his cheek.

“I’m coming back,” she whispers in his ear. “I promise.”

He nods solemnly, looking too old and too young for his ten years. Rey hurts for him, knowing precisely how he feels, but he seems happy enough with her answer.

And then there’s a knock at the door, and once again, she can’t breathe.

Jacen gives Rey a little half-grin, then runs to open the door.

The sun is too bright and low behind him, so all Rey can see is that his shoulders take up the width of the door frame and his head nearly brushes its top. But then he steps in, and _holy shit_. It occurs to Rey that she’s only ever seen him in his baseball uniform or athletic wear. Her brain short-circuits at what she sees. He’s wearing a dark blue button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up over dark jeans and boots. The sleeves of his shirt mold to the outline of his shoulders and the buttons of his shirt look like they’d pop if she looks at them too long. 

The little girls scream and run at him, and he gathers them up in a hug, picking one up in each large arm. He limps a little as they hug him, and he looks faintly bewildered as they press sticky kisses to his cheeks. Rey sees his eyes travel up and down her body the same way she’d looked at him, and she feels heat at her cheeks and between her legs.

Rose pops her head out of the kitchen and comes out to gather up the kids and push Rey and Kylo out the door with promises of hyping the kids up with sugar and scary movies and other silly lies.

It’s only once they’re out the door that Rey realizes they still haven’t spoken to each other.

“You look incredible.” His voice, as always, startles her in the best way. He reaches out like he wants to touch her, but pulls his hand back.

“Thanks,” she says and laughs. “Rose and Kaydel practically attacked me once we got home. Apparently I have no clothes suitable for a date, but luckily we’re all close enough to the same sizes that we can share clothes.” She plucks at the green silk camisole. “I’m not great at doing hair and makeup, and I feel kind of weird being all fancy, but this is my favorite color, so…” she shrugs. “Anyway. You look really nice too.” 

“Thanks. Shall we?” And he offers her his arm like some kind of movie gentleman and her insides turn to goo. 

She places her hand in the crook of his elbow and wonders if she can sneakily move it higher to see if his arms are as hard as they look. But for now, she’ll have to settle for the softness of his shirt, which feels incredible. She wonders if he’d like how she looked if _she_ wore it.

Heat floods through her and she coughs. But they’ve reached his shiny black car, and he opens the door as she slides in. The interior is gleaming black and chrome, with the softest leather seats. Kylo gently closes the door behind her, and Rey watches in the rearview mirror as he lopes around to his side. Rey wishes he wouldn’t; his limp is still there and she worries he’ll make it worse. He slides in and pushes the button to start the car.

He runs his hand through his hair a few times, and it occurs to Rey that he might be just as nervous as she is.

“So, I thought we’d try to cook together? Since you seemed to like the idea yesterday?” He seems unsure.

“I’ll help but only if you give me the least important job.” She laughs. “I really am a shit cook.” 

His lips twitch.

“Can you boil water?” he asks.

“Sometimes.” 

“We’ll start with that,” he says and chuckles a bit. 

He steers the car away from her house, and they make the drive in silence. Rey crosses and uncrosses her legs in her black skinny jeans, feeling a little uncomfortable in the heels that Kaydel had insisted made her ass look phenomenal. Since they’re going to his place, Rey wonders if he’ll mind if she takes her shoes off once they arrive.

It’s about a ten-minute drive, and they go to a nice part of Chandrila that Rey’s never seen before. He takes her to a gated apartment complex, thumbs in the gate code, and drives to a garage attached to a building. He races around to open her door again, and she laughs a little at how hard he’s trying to be a gentleman. His apartment is on the second floor, and Rey swears a bit as she navigates the stairs in her heels. Again, he opens the door for her, and shows her in. It’s larger than she expected, with a lot of black furniture, and very little decoration. It is very much a man’s apartment, but it’s sad and cold and…lonely.

Kylo takes her to the kitchen and pulls two aprons out of a drawer. She raises her eyebrows at him.

He grins at her.

“I thought we’d make Alfredo. You said you like garlic and butter, and it only takes a few ingredients.” With a few quick movements, he has the apron over his head and tied around his waist and holds his hands out in offer to tie hers. She turns for him, and the feeling of his fingers brushing over her waist sends a shiver down her spine. The heat of his body behind hers is enough to send her heartbeat into outer space, and they’re barely touching. She can’t imagine what it will be like when they actually do. Before she can think about what she’s doing, she spins around to face him while he’s still touching her, so his hands are in the same place as she faces him, only now on her front. He twitches like he’s about to pull away, so she grabs his hands and holds them in place. Above her, his eyes widen in wonder as he tentatively moves his hands to bracket her hips and strokes his thumbs over her hip bones through the silk of her shirt. Rey takes half a step back, her back against the counter, and he follows her like he can’t make himself let go now that she let him touch her. He leans toward her, dark hair a curtain framing his face, and since she’s wanted to since the second she saw him, she slowly reaches up, afraid to spook him, and cards her fingers through his hair. For a moment his mouth falls open, then he closes the distance between them and lightly brushes his lips against hers.

Instantly, she pulls him closer to her, pressing her body into his, and chases his lips when he backs away to look down at her. Gently, too gently, he presses his lips back to hers, and wanting more, Rey uses the hand in his hair to keep him in place as she runs her other hand up his chest. He makes a sound deep in his throat and she can’t tell if it’s a groan, or a plea, or a purr, but all she knows is that he’s finally, _finally_ kissing her back and oh gods it’s everything she needed it to be. His tongue licks at the seam of her lips and she opens for him. His hands are in her hair and wrapped around her nape as she molds herself to his hard body.

Until her stomach growls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alfredo is the very first thing my husband cooked for me, and it's still one of my absolute favorite things that he cooks.
> 
> [Rey's outfit!](https://pin.it/4dYOmB5)  
> [Kylo's outfit!](https://pin.it/1XIP2tq) (with jeans and boots instead of slacks and dress shoes. but you get the idea.)


	10. Fairy Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brush your teeth after this one, folks, or you'll get cavities from the sweetness.
> 
> Thanks to skyeryder01 for the beta read.

Instantly, Kylo backs away from Rey, feeling dazed that she’d let him touch her, much less kiss her. 

He can’t breathe, not when she’s looking at him like that like she wants to climb him like a tree. He doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve her.

“So, dinner?” he asks.

She pouts a little, but nods. So he leans forward again to whisper in her ear.

“We’re making pasta. With garlic and butter.” 

She perks right back up and smiles her sunshine smile up at him. 

It doesn’t take him long to find out that she really is a shit cook. First, he gave her the knife to chop fresh parsley while he chopped garlic, but when she closed her eyes before the first cut, he panicked and took it away from her. Next, he puts her in charge of melting butter, but she gets distracted talking to him about college and lets it burn. She does an excellent job of grating the Parmigiano Reggiano, though, and she valiantly spreads the loaf of Italian bread with garlic butter. Finally, he puts her in charge of watching the large pot of water to see when it will boil. He’s mesmerized as she hops up on the counter beside the stove, glass of wine in hand, and watches him cook the garlic and butter together.

“Shit, that smells like heaven, “ she says and takes a tiny sip of wine. It’s red wine, and while white would go better with the meal, she likes red, so red she shall have.

“I don’t know what it is about garlic and butter,” he says, stirring a bit, “but it’s always been one of those things that reminds me of home. My mom wasn’t much of a cook, but my dad was, and he cooked all the time. I used to come home from school and smell this and…” he stops talking.

“Oh, I’m sorry, are they…” she trails off, and he realizes that she’s misunderstood.

“No.” He sighs. “We just have a shitty relationship. Do you know who Han Solo is?” 

“Sounds familiar, but I can’t place him. Why?”

Huh. He’s surprised by that, and her lack of knowledge encourages him.

“He’s… he’s my dad. He played pro ball with the Rebels in the nineties.” Kylo doesn’t look at her as he adds cream to the butter and garlic. “He was inducted into the Hall of Fame a few years ago. But… but I couldn’t go.”

She stiffens beside him. 

“Why not?” Her voice is more tense than he’s ever heard it, so he looks over at her.

Her hazel eyes are shadowed and her brows are pinched. He looks back down as he whisks the cream and butter and garlic.

“My parents wanted me to play for their team. My mom, Leia, inherited ownership of the Resistance team after my grandfather died. He played too before he let the wealth and fame corrupt him. When I was younger, when my dad was still playing and my mom still did everything herself, they weren’t around much and I acted out a lot. They carted me off to live with my uncle, the coach for the Resistance team, and I learned a lot, but after a while, we didn’t see eye to eye anymore. After college, my parents wanted me to play for their team, but I didn’t want people to think I had shit just handed to me; I wanted to earn it. Snoke had found me through a scouting program and had started trying to get his hooks into me then, telling me he could make me a better player if I came with him. There was this huge fight, and my old man and I took a couple swings at each other. I regret some things, but I still stand by not wanting things handed to me. They didn’t understand, so I got the fuck out and got picked up by Snoke for First Order. I think it was some kind of revenge against my uncle, actually, but I didn’t question it then. I have been lately, though. All the injuries he made me play through and the way he talked to me… Always telling me I wasn’t good enough, that I’d never live up to all the legacies of my name…” 

Kylo looks back at Rey when he hears a sniffle. She’s not crying, but her eyes are lined with silver.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I know you have problems with them, but I can’t even imagine what it’s like to have parents and then leave them. For me, it was the other way around. My mother left me outside a hospital when I was really little, three, I think. I have vague memories of that time, or maybe they’re dreams, but then I wound up in an orphanage, and then Maz, the owner of Jakku House, found me when she was on a trip to England and brought me back with her as a foster.” She pauses, and he wants to break something at the hurt he hears in her voice. “So, hearing that you chose to leave them… well, I understand it, but at the same time I don’t.” Rey sniffs again drains her glass of wine.

“Rey.” Her name cracks out of his lips. It’s his fault, he upset her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” 

“It’s not your fault,” she says. And then she looks into his face, sees his torment written there. “It’s not your fault,” she says again gently. 

He’s close enough to her that she reaches out to cup his face. She swipes her thumb along his cheekbone, and he’s lost in her hazel eyes.

Until a particularly large bubble of sauce pops and the tiny explosion sends drops of sauce on the hand holding the whisk. Kylo yelps and Rey snorts with laughter.

“Can I whisk it?”

“Oh, I dunno, Rey. You almost burned the boiling water and that was before there was even pasta in it,” he teases her. 

Her nose wrinkles, and she hops down from the counter and pushes him back from the bubbling sauce, taking the whisk from him. 

She gets really into whisking, a little too into it, whisking enough that her entire body moves with the movement. She’s making a mess, but he will gladly clean it if it means he can watch her breasts bounce gently beneath the green silk of her top.

He thinks she might not be wearing a bra, and all the blood in his body rushes between his legs.

_ Shit _ .

He’s incredibly grateful to past Kylo for choosing to wear jeans, not slacks as he’d originally intended.

And then he catches Rey glancing at him and smirking, and  _ she’s doing it on purpose.  _

His mouth falls open as she makes eye contact and stirs particularly vigorously. She is definitely not wearing a bra. He can see the faint outline of her nipples, and  _ nope _ ,  _ eyes up, Solo _ .

“I think it’s time to add the cheese.”

Real smooth. 

He scoops up the mountain of cheese and sprinkles most of it in while Rey stirs it until it’s incorporated. When Kylo pronounces the sauce done, he pulls the bread from the oven and shows her where plates and utensils are. They load up plates with pasta and sauce and bread, and he shows her out on the onto the balcony where he’s set up a small metal table and chairs. He chose the balcony rather than the dining area because it looks out over a park peppered with clumps of trees and a few hills sloping down to a lake. He’d never noticed it until this afternoon when he had been panicking over figuring out what to do. He’d thrown open the balcony doors for fresh air, and the green of the park had seemed calming, and he’d thought she’d like it. 

Rey folds her legs up under herself as she sits in the metal chair. Kylo watches anxiously as she takes the first bite and yes, she moans and her eyes roll back. Kylo wants to watch her eat, but he doesn’t want  _ his _ stomach growling later. So he eats and tries to enjoy it as much as she seems to because she eats quickly, stuffing her mouth and finishing her food much faster than he does. He catches her eyeing his bread, and he slides it over onto her plate where she instantly uses it to soak up the remaining tiny scraps of sauce on her plate. 

“Do you want dessert?” 

Her eyes light up.

“What do you have?” She takes a sip of her wine and watches him over the rim of the glass.

“I didn’t have time to make anything, and anything good takes time. So I thought, if you wanted, we could go out and find something?”

“Yes! Let’s do it!” She jumps up and gathers the plates off the table. Together, they put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and then they head back downstairs to his car. 

He drives for a few minutes, and she asks him about music and movies and tv shows while he drives them to the river district and parks outside a small bakery he'd found online while panicking that afternoon. There are a few people ahead of them, so they wait in line and point out desserts behind the glass cases. Kylo has a raging sweet tooth that he never indulges because he always feels like eating desserts alone is like drinking alone- both are meant to be enjoyed with other people. So Kylo is just as excited as Rey is beside him; he can feel her bouncing on the balls of her feet. 

"It's kind of cold in here don't you think?" She presses her body against his side, aligning her body to his. She shivers a little and  _ don't look down, don't look down _ . He feels the softness of her body against the hardness of his, and he can’t think about that or he’ll have her pushed up against a bakery case to devour her. But then she snakes her arm between them and slips her hand in his. He looks down to where their hands are joined, and her hand is so  _ small _ in his. Rey presses her cheek to his shoulder and smiles up at him, and Kylo can’t decide if he'd rather drown in her eyes or her dimples. He's so distracted that he just points at several random cases and walks out of the shop with no idea what he’s just paid for.

Kylo starts to head back to the car, but she tugs on his hand, leading him down a short set of stairs to the riverwalk. 

“Come on," she says, and of course, he'd follow her anywhere. As they walk along the river, she points out little things he never would never have noticed on his own. A couple swinging a toddler between them, unusually bright coral-colored flowers dotted along the river bank, and large porch-style swings at regular intervals along the walk. She pulls him over to one, sitting and tucking her feet under her.

"Tell me about college,” she says, “what did you study?" She opens the box and contemplates what’s inside.

“I was undeclared for a while, but I eventually settled on history. I wanted to be a professor so I could teach about the past and learn from the mistakes made before us.” He watches her as she stares down into the box. They apparently chose a large assortment of tiny desserts, and it seems like she can’t choose where she wants to start. But she turns her large eyes up to his.

“So you want to learn from past mistakes?” She stabs her fork into a creamy white circle that’s dotted with fruit. She brings it to her mouth but stops when she sees that Kylo’s watching her. “What?” 

Kylo feels his cheeks and ears burst into flame.

“Sorry.” He runs his fingers through his hair and bites his cheek. “I, umm. You moan when you eat. It’s cute.” 

Now she’s blushing, and she ducks her head.

“I’m sorry. I really enjoy new things, you know? There wasn’t much opportunity for it at the orphanage, and sometimes there wasn’t…enough.” 

Rage, pure, unadulterated white-hot rage, filters through him as he realizes what she just said. He wants to rip her parents apart for abandoning her. His hands clench around the box he’s holding, crushing the cardboard. 

“Oh!” She gasps.

Shit, he scared her.

“Rey, I’m sorry. Maybe we should just go.” He starts to gather up the napkins and forks, but her small hand on his stops him.

“Okay, we can go if you want. But why?” She looks concerned and…sad?

“I can’t do this,” and it sounds anguished, even to him. “I can’t  _ not _ be angry over what happened to you, and to your kids, and I can’t fix it, and I scared you, and I’m sorry. So if you want to go, I understand.”

“Kylo.” Her voice is even. “Look at me.” He hasn’t heard her be commanding before, and his eyes snap to hers. “You  _ just _ said you wanted to learn from the past. So do that. Learn from it, and move on. What happened, happened. And I’m here with you, now.” Rey stares intently into his face “And I am not scared.” She squeezes his hands in emphasis, sliding her fingers between his.

She’s right. 

He needs to let the past die.

“I’m sorry,” he says again.

“Kylo, it’s  _ okay _ . I’m okay. Now, will you shut up and eat this with me?” She holds up her fork with a bite of the fluffy looking dessert in front of his face. He does as he’s told.

“Good, yeah?” 

They eat more of the desserts and talk about Rey’s college experience. She’d graduated a few years behind him at Chandrila U, and had then gone on to complete a Master’s Degree in Psychology just last December. The next school year, she’d start work as a counselor in the same school system where Jacen and Jaina and the other kids from Jakku House went. 

“I didn’t have much by way of guidance,” she says, licking the back of her fork. 

Kylo tries very hard to pay attention to her words, not her tongue.

“So I thought I’d like to help kids like me. It’s why I wanted to come back to Jakku House after I aged out of the system. Maz, my foster mom, gave me a chance, and I wanted to be able to do the same.” She shrugs and holds out the box to him. A single truffle remains. “You have it,” she says. “I probably ate more than you, anyway.” 

Kylo bites the truffle in half and holds it out to her, expecting her to take it from his hand. 

Instead, she leans forward and lets him place it in her mouth, her lips barely brushing his fingertips, and then she moans, keeping full eye contact. She quirks an eyebrow at him and smiles when she’s finished the chocolate. 

“Can we walk more? It’s so pretty with the lights on the water.”

The fairy lights strung on either side of the river reflect in its surface, and the golden light they cast matches her skin. 

Standing, Rey holds out her hand to Kylo, and she smiles up at him when he takes it. He laughs when she pretends to pull him to his feet; he’s twice her size. When he stands before her, she raises up on her toes and brushes a light kiss to his cheek, then slips her fingers between his as they walk further along the riverwalk. She makes him go slowly, so he doesn’t make his ankle worse, though he’d completely forgotten it was injured.

Eventually, they make it back to his apartment. He’d planned to just take her home, but she left her phone at his place. She apologizes a hundred times, but Kylo chooses to think of it as a sign from the gods. Because he actually had…fun. And he doesn’t want it to end. 

Kylo Ren having fun with a woman. Who would’ve thought?

And then her words about moving on come back to him. 

“Rey,” he says while they’re stopped at the red light nearest his apartment.

“Hmm,” she says dreamily. She’s got her chin propped in her hand and is leaning her elbow on the window.

“My name is Ben.”

“Ben?” Oh fuck, he likes it when she says his name.

“Yeah. Ben Solo.” 

“Is this a Snoke thing?” Her nose wrinkles as she looks at him.

“Yeah.” Ben runs his right hand through his hair, driving one-handed with his left arm braced against the door. “Yeah, he said if I really wanted to earn my place, I had to give up all of myself and earn a new name. So, I was Kylo Ren.” 

“I like Ben Solo better.” She looks at him with big sad eyes and reaches over to take his hand where he’s laid it on the center console. “Ben. Ben Solo.” She says it a few more times, and hearing his name, his  _ real _ name on her lips frees something inside him that he hadn’t known he’d locked away. “Can I call you Ben?”

“I want you to. It’s why I told you. But I don’t know if I’m ready for the rest of the world to know. Who I am, I mean. The team might be weird about it.” Rey grips his hand tighter.

“Okay,  _ Ben,  _ I’ll be sure not to tell anyone,  _ Ben _ .” She giggles. “Where did Kylo Ren come from anyway?”

“You’re gonna laugh.” 

“I might not. Okay, I probably will. But come on, tell me anyway.” She jabs him in the arm with a finger.

“Fine.” He rubs the back of his neck. “It was one of those stupid internet things where you take out the first letter of your grandparent’s last name and use the next four, then remove the first letter of your name and replace it with R.” He very distinctly does not look at her.

“You’re not serious.”

“Unfortunately, I am.”

She doubles over in laughter, wheezing and slapping her thighs.

“It’s not  _ that _ funny.” He scowls a little.

“It kind of is, I mean, that name is on your  _ jersey _ . It’s in programs and shows up on the giant screen. And you picked it from an internet thingy?” Tears are running down her cheeks now.

“Okay, fine. It’s a little funny.” He still scowls as he pulls into his parking space in the apartment’s garage.

“Oh, did I hurt your feelings?” Her tone is a little bit too sweet. “Can I make it better?” Innocent wide eyes look up at him as she slowly unhooks her seatbelt and leans toward him. Her face is a breath away from his as she reaches up with both hands and slides her fingers through his hair before she cups his face, thumbs tracing lightly over his cheekbones. Gently, she pulls his face to meet hers and presses her lips to his. He tries to be restrained, he really fucking does, but she’s so warm and soft that when he runs his hands down her neck and over her shoulders he can’t stop himself from hoisting her over the console into his lap. Her thighs bracket his, and with her sitting on him, they’re the same height. A soft sound escapes her, and taking that as encouragement, Ben slides his tongue along the seam of her lips, and she sighs as she opens for him. His tongue sweeps into her mouth, devouring her, and she gives it right back to him, her tongue dancing with his.

Her hips open wider as she leans closer to fist one hand in his hair and trace the other down his chest. He can feel the heat radiating from her center as she molds her upper body into his and he can’t help but roll his hips under her. She gasps against his lips and he does it again.

She groans his name.

And he slides his hands beneath the green silk of her shirt and traces slowly up her back, feeling the smooth softness of her skin beneath his calloused hands. He reluctantly removes his lips from hers and kisses the soft spot behind her jaw, the nips his way down her neck to suck a bruise just below her collarbone. 

“Ben,” she breathes as she grinds against him again. 

He backs away for a moment, and she leans back with him like she doesn’t want to lose the contact.

“Is this okay? Can I-“ he brushes his fingers along the lace resting over the tops of her breasts. She shivers and nods. 

“Rey, I need to hear you say it.”

“If you’re gonna make me say it, you have to say it too,” she purrs, peering at him through her lashes.

“W-what?” Ben’s brain can’t catch up to her words.

“I want to hear you say that you want to see me.”

_ Fuck, that’s hot. _

“I want to see you.” He nips at her jaw. “All of you.” He licks a stripe down her throat. “But for right now,” soft, wet kisses to her collarbone, “I want to see how pretty your… breasts… are. Touch you. Please, Rey.” 

“Such a gentleman,” she laughs in his ear. “You can, but only if I can too.” 

Ben can’t believe that he has enough control over his body to nod at her, because words are certainly beyond his capability now.

Her hands reach between them, and she starts unbuttoning his shirt, tracing her hands over its fabric as she works her way further down. His own hands are at her shoulders, pushing down the thin straps of her top so slowly it’s almost painful. When the straps are down around her arms, she impatiently tugs it the rest of the way down so she can free herself to return to the final button of his shirt. 

And holy shit.

Her soft breasts fit perfectly in his palms and a soft little moan escapes her as he flicks her rosy nipples. Rey’s hands find his own chest and she traces over his pectorals with a feather-light touch, pushing away his shirt.

“Shit, Ben. You’re, like, a statue or something.” 

He huffs a laugh in her ear.

“And you’re beautiful. Perfect.” 

Ben leans forward, kissing his way from her collarbone to the tip of her breast where he swirls his tongue around her nipple before pulling it into his mouth and tugging lightly with his teeth. Her body arches against his, her center grinding against his hard length.

He is about to repeat the movement when headlights filter into the garage, and Ben wraps his arms over her back, crushing her body to his to hide her semi-naked state from whatever neighbor chose now to return home. She’s shaking beneath his arms and he can feel her heart hammering against his chest. When he decides that the coast is clear, he loosens his arms so she can sit up. Hastily, he pulls her shirt back up so he doesn’t have to see her cry.

Except she’s not crying, she’s laughing.

“Shit, Ben! We’re like a couple of teenagers. The windows are even fogged up!” She’s laughing so hard, tears are leaking out of the corners of her eyes. “We better go up and get my phone before we get grounded for being out too late.” She’s still laughing as she leans forward and presses her forehead to his.

He crushes her small frame back to his chest, reveling in the fact that she sees him and knows the worst, and somehow still wants him.

Now that he’s found her, he’s never letting go.

~

Rose and Jacen are in the living room, lit by the glow of the tv. The littles must already be asleep.

“You’re back!” Jacen cries and runs over to wrap his arms around Rey. She’s surprised, he’s not normally so affectionate.

“I told you I’d come back,” she whispers, giving him a squeeze. “Go to bed okay? I’ll come tuck you in in a minute.”

Rose’s eyebrows raise as she takes in Rey’s appearance, but she waits until Jacen is in his room before speaking.

“You look like you had fun.” Her eyes flick from Rey’s messy hair to her swollen lips to the mark below her collarbone.

“A little,” Rey says primly.

“Spill,” Rose commands.

Rey flops onto the old couch, removes the heels she borrowed from Rose, and tucks her sore feet beneath her.

“Well between the two of us, we have enough problems to fill a psych textbook, but Rose, he’s so… sweet. I mean, I knew that, but he actually asked if he could-“ she stops, blushing.

Rose rolls her eyes. 

“We’re all adults here, Rey,”

“He asked he could touch me AND he said breasts not tits. Who does that?” 

“Well at least  _ you _ got groped,” Rose says in mock irritation. “But get to the good stuff!”

“That  _ is _ the good stuff. We didn’t really get past the groping. We were in the car like teenagers and one of his neighbors almost saw me without my top. It kinda killed the mood.” 

“Hmm,” Rose hums. “I’m gonna need details when you actually fuck. I have to live vicariously through you. You have to tell me all about his enormous monster cock.”

“Shit, Rose! How’d you know it was enormous?”

“I didn’t, but apparently you do.” Rose gives her an evil grin.

“Damn it, Rose. Go home.” Rey shoos her out.

After she checks on Jacen, she pulls out her phone.

**i can’t remember if i told you but dinner was amazing so thank you!**

_ Anything for you, sweetheart. _

Rey goes to bed and dreams of hard muscles and soft lips against her skin. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Rey's outfit!](https://pin.it/4dYOmB5)  
> [Kylo's outfit!](https://pin.it/1XIP2tq) (with jeans and boots instead of slacks and dress shoes. but you get the idea.)


	11. Shark Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late night texts lead to a late night visit. And breakfast the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: brief mention of childhood malnutrition, mention of periods and cramping, LOTS OF FLUFF, tiny bit of smut.
> 
> thanks to skyreyder01 for encouraging the fluff, because I had a shit week and needed to write it. we will return to the actual plot with the next chapter.

The rest of the week continues on as it had before their date: banter over text with an occasional phone call, with the occasional bit of seriousness or oversharing from both of them. He hadn’t wanted to disrupt Rey’s weekly schedule with the kids, so he’d refrained from begging Rose to watch the kids again…barely. 

On Friday, Ben texts Rey about meeting at the park the next day so he could play catch with Jacen again, and she sends him back a picture of Jacen with a FO hat jammed on his head with a huge smile and two thumbs up. It warms his heart to see the little boy so excited. He still isn’t aware of what had gone on in the boy’s life before Rey, but she was right. There was nothing he could do to change the past, but he would do everything he could to help  _ right now _ .

It’s Friday night, and Ben can’t sleep. The warmth of Rey’s body and the vision of her tugging her shirt down for him have plagued him since their date, and he feels his cock stir in appreciation of her pretty little tits. Mentally, he slaps himself, and ducks into a frigid shower to stop torturing himself over her. 

It’s still amazing that she wants him, too. But her reactions to him had clearly indicated that, she’d made the first move for fuck’s sake, so why the fuck can’t he let himself feel good enough?

What, exactly, had made him feel inferior in the first place?

The answer is simple. Snoke.

The old man had had his claws in Ben’s mind longer and deeper than he had realized, but the damage was done. Now he has to heal from it. 

Ben knows what Rey would say if he asked her; she’d say that he needed to repair his relationship with his family.

But it can’t be that simple, can it? Would they even want to speak with him, let alone have him be their son again? The things he’d said and done were unforgivable. 

Tossing and turning in his bed was miserable, so instead Ben turns to Facebook. He found out recently that Rey hates Facebook but she does have an Instagram account, and Ben is seriously considering making one too because he thinks it would make her laugh. Ben’s Facebook still has very few notifications; Poe hasn’t messaged back since the Snoke debacle. Ben wonders what, if anything, Poe said to Han and Leia about the situation. He knows that they know; they know everything that happens in the world of sports almost before it happens. 

Sighing, Ben gives up on Facebook and is about to try to make a dent in his Netflix queue when his phone vibrates in his pocket.

**ben i can’t sleep are you up?**

Ben feels bad; she needs to sleep, but he’s happy that she thought to text him.

_ I can’t either. Is everything okay _ ?

**yeah i’m good, just girl stuff is all**

_ Girl stuff? _

**umm…yeah…shark week.**

What the hell? Shark Week was in late summer.

_ I don’t know what that means, but as long you’re okay, I won’t worry about you. _

_ You ARE okay, right? _

**omg lol ben. shark week. GIRL PROBLEMS.**

Oh, that. 

_ Do you need anything? Chocolate? Pizza? Ice cream? _

**jesus where have you been all my life?**

_ I’m Ben.  _ 😉

_ But seriously. Can I bring you anything?  _

**i am not asking you to bring me things ben it’s too damn late**

_ If you’re sure… _

**I’m not sure… honestly… i’d really like to see you but like i said it’s too fucking late**

_ What do you want? I’ll bring it. I’ll drop it on the doorstep if you want.  _

_ Let me help you. _

_ Please? _

He sends her a picture of himself pouting at her. If he just happens to be lounging around his apartment without a shirt, well, so be it.

**THAT IS NOT FAIR BENJAMIN**

**i assume ben is short for benjamin? def calling you that even if it’s not lol**

_ It is Benjamin. _

_ Why is it not fair? _

**BECAUSE I’M HORNY AS FUCK BUT MY BODY IS EATING ITSELF AND IT HURTS AND I CAN’T MOVE AND YOU ARE FUCKING HOT OKAY AND I NEED PIZZA AND ICE CREAM AND A SOFT PRETZEL**

Fuck. Fuuuuck. 

_ Please let me bring it to you.  _

**can you**

**can you stay with me?**

**oh shit**

**sorry is that too much?**

**it’s too much.**

_ Rey.  _

_ I’m coming. _

_ Ah. I mean. I’ll be there in half an hour. What kind of pizza and ice cream do you want? _

**pepperoni and cookie dough. please and thank you.**

**you’re amazing. thank you.**

Once he has procured everything she wanted, plus a few more items he thinks she’ll like, and he finds himself outside her door with an armload of snacks. He doesn’t want to ring the doorbell and wake the kids, so he texts her that he has arrived. When she opens the door, she looks beautiful as always, but…tired and wan. Rey has dark circles under her eyes and she’s extremely pale and a little wobbly on her feet. Her hair is piled on her head in the messiest of buns, and she’s wearing an oversized hoodie that hangs to her thighs with tiny duck-printed pajama shorts beneath. Her smile when she sees him is lovely, but it turns a little watery when she sees the bags in his hands.

“You brought all that for me?” Her lip trembles a bit.

“Of course I did, sweetheart. Plus a bit extra.” 

She throws her arms around him, nearly knocking him to the ground, then she backs up and doubles over with her hands pressed to her lower abdomen. Ben immediately drops the bags and kneels down with her.

“You are clearly not okay. Can I do anything?” Ben is completely at a loss. 

Rey is panting now.

“I just need to stand up and get back to the bed,” she groans, curling up a little more.

Ben scoops her up in a bridal carry and carries her down the hall. He’s very lucky that all the kids have their names on their bedroom doors, and he nudges her door open with his knee. Rey nuzzles her face into his chest, and he thinks he might feel her press a kiss there, but he can’t quite tell. As gently as he can, he places her on the bed and he feels her small arms squeeze him a bit before she whimpers and curls up again.

“What do you want first? Pizza?”

“Ice cream and pretzel. Please?” Her eyes close and she buries her head under the pillow.

As quickly as he can without running, Ben heads back to the kitchen and stuffs the cold food into the refrigerator and searches for a spoon before carrying Rey’s snacks back to her bed. She’s removed the oversized sweatshirt and is now in a sports bra with her ducky shorts.

“Jesus, Rey, is it always this bad?” he asks as he hands over the food.

Before speaking, she takes an enormous bite of the cinnamon-and-sugar coated pretzel and pats the other side of her bed. Ben freezes, raising his eyebrow in silent question. Still chewing, she rolls her eyes and smacks the bed harder, so Ben toes his shoes off and slides into the bed beside her, leaning on the headboard and staying very stiffly on his side.

“It’s not always  _ this _ bad,” she says. “I didn’t get my period until I was older. The doctor said it was from malnutrition when I was a kid, and now I guess it’s like my body wants to make up for lost time. I never know when it’s coming and sometimes I’m okay, and sometimes it makes me think I’m dying.” She starts shoveling ice cream in her mouth at an alarming rate.

“Is there anything else I can do?” Ben asks, feeling a little frightened and awed at the rate at which she’s consuming the ice cream.

“Honestly, it’s just nice not being alone,” she says, staring up at him between her lowered lashes. 

“You’re not alone.” 

That gets a tiny smile from her, and then she goes back to the ice cream. When it’s finished, she looks down at the empty pint cup and blanches.

“I didn’t offer you any,” she says sadly.

Ben jokingly scowls at her.

“I brought more,” he whispers in a pseudo-seductive voice.

At that, Rey abandons the empty cup on her nightstand and throws her body on top of his, squeezing him with her surprisingly strong arms. She rains soft kisses on his face, and Ben slowly raises his arms to wrap around her, pulling her closer to him. Sighing, Rey presses her lips to his and runs her fingers through his hair, making a purring sound when he starts rubbing her back in slow circles. Her tongue flicks out and Ben’s tangles with hers. She tastes sweet like the ice cream. 

When she sits back on her heels and looks down at him, Ben sees that her eyes have gone dark. His breath catches in his throat as she reaches to hook her thumbs beneath the band of her bra-

And promptly doubles over, groaning and clutching her stomach. Shivering, she rolls off him and wraps her body around a pillow.

“Do you want me to go?” Ben asks.

“No! Can you,” and then she mumbles under her breath so Ben can’t hear her.

“Anything. What do you need?”

Rey sighs.

“Can you just hold me?”

~ ~ ~

Ben looks slightly bewildered but nods as he settles further down into her nest of pillows. Rey can feel her cheeks grow pink and she can’t believe that he came over for her and that she’s asked him to be with her when she’s like…this.

But the pain in her uterus is too much as another stab of fire lances through her and she groans and settles herself into her pillows. He is so  _ warm.  _ How is he so warm? Rey tucks her head under his chin as she pulls her body flush with his. His arms wrap around her and d _ amn he smells so good.  _

He smells sweet and salty and a little bit citrusy, like the sun on the ocean, or how she imagines it would be, if she ever gets the chance to go.

Without thinking about it, Rey nuzzles her face against him and sighs, and she feels Ben’s body relax a little bit against hers.

“Ben?”

“Yeah?” 

“Thanks.”

“What for?” 

Rey tips her head back to look into his dark eyes. 

“Everything? Being here? Bringing me food? Being sweet?”

Rey feels his arms tighten around her.

“You don’t have to thank me a million times for everything. I do things for you because I like to. You know that, right?”

Tears fill Rey’s eyes because she  _ didn’t _ know, she always feels like a burden, especially when she’s sick. Having to take care of herself for so long with so little makes her feel…uncomfortable. And her current fragile state makes it worse.

“Oh, shit, are you crying? Rey?”

“I just don’t want to be a burden. This, whatever we are, is so new, and I don’t want to be that girl who  _ has _ to be taken care of, or I guess I don’t want you to feel like you  _ have _ to take care of me.” 

His fingers are gentle but firm beneath her chin as he lifts her face so her eyes meet his.

“Rey. Sweetheart.” His eyes are dark brown on the outer edges, but green and gold in the center, as they bore into hers. “You are not a burden. I  _ want _ to take care of you. Will you let me?”

“I can’t promise that it’ll be easy for me, but I’ll try. For you.” She sniffles a bit.

He brushes a kiss to her forehead, then swipes her tears away with the pad of his thumb. Rey tangles her legs with his, and wonders if there’s a not-awkward way she can ask him to take his shirt off.

Not for any inappropriate reason, of course not. He’s just so warm, and she wants to snuggle up to him, skin to skin.

And if she happened to see his perfectly sculpted chest, well, so be it.

“Ben?”

“Mmm?” he hums, and she can feel his fingers loosening her hair out of its bun.

“Shit, that feels good. Umm. I seem to have on slightly less clothing than you do?” She squeaks the last bit out more like a question than a sentence, and she hopes her burning cheeks aren’t visible.

“Oh, yeah?” His voice drops an octave.

“Yeah, so, umm… can we maybe rectify the situation?” 

“Hmm? How so?” His voice is a delicious purr in her ear and rumbling against her chest.

Shit, he’s really going to make her say it.

“Take your shirt off,  _ Benjamin _ ,” she orders, drawing his name out.

“Why,  _ Rey? _ ” He does the same.

She can hear the smile in his voice, but she can’t make herself look at him.

“Goddamnit, Ben, I’m fucking freezing and you’re a furnace.” 

“Well, you know, if you had on more than those tiny shorts and a bra, you might not be so cold,” he’s outright laughing now. Asshole.

“Fine, if they bother you so much, I’ll just put on a parka and cover up, then.” And she whacks him on the arm before rolling over to get out of bed.

Or trying to. 

Two very solid arms wrap around her, keeping her in place.

“Don’t you dare,” his breath tickles her ear and tingles elsewhere.

He pulls them both into a sitting position, and glares at her mockingly before releasing her slowly and standing.

“Stay put.” Ben’s fake scowl is too adorable for words and she wants to kiss it off his face.

And slowly enough that Rey knows he’s doing it on purpose, he crosses his arms and tugs the hem of his shirt upward, and with every inch of solid flesh that’s revealed, Rey is more and more convinced that he  _ is _ a marble statue, because there’s no way a real human could look like  _ that _ . 

When he finally has it off, he stands over her with his hands on his hips.

“Happy now?” He’s still pretending to scowl, so Rey raises up on her knees to kiss her way up the planes of his stomach and over his pectorals before she sucks a mark into the base of his throat.

“I think so,” she purrs and falls backward onto the bed.

He grumbles a bit and folds his shirt neatly before climbing back in with her, pulling her chest back against his. His skin against hers is almost burning hot, and the sensation is so delicious that she wants to stick her tongue out and  _ lick _ .

But given her current situation, and the fact that another wave of pain will likely render her unable to move, she refrains.

She wiggles around a bit, trying to get more comfortable and  _ closer _ , always closer, because he just feels so good and his skin is so smooth and warm. Until two very large hands gently wrap around her wrists.

“Rey?” His voice sounds breathless.

“Mmm?” She hums, still trying to find that perfect spot.

“Umm, you’re kind of making me hard.”

Okay, well that was bluntly honest. Some primal part of her that she wasn’t entirely aware of purrs inside her, happy that she has that effect on him. The rest of her is slightly embarrassed.

“Shit, fuck. I’m sorry!” 

“Don’t be, I just didn’t want to alarm you.”

“Alarm me?” She blinks up at him and squirms again, to see what he meant.

He hisses as she presses her hips closer and-

_ Holy shit.  _

_ He’s huge. _

“Ben?” 

“Yes?” His eyes are closed now and he’s doing breathing exercises.

“You’re really big. Like, really big.” 

“Well, that’s always nice to hear.” She feels his chest puff up a little under her praise.

She really wants to wrap her hand around him to see just how big he is, so she palms him through the fabric of his shorts. 

_ Really fucking big _ .

She closes her eyes, imagining how he would fill her if he was inside her, and her hand moves almost of its own accord.

“Is this okay?” She asks, tracing her finger under the waistband of his shorts.

His emphatic nod makes her chuckle a bit, so she pushes his shorts down over his hips and his cock springs free. She wraps her hand around him and her fingers barely meet.

He starts cursing under his breath.

He’s bigger than she thought.

Will it fit?

“Fuck, Rey.” 

She realizes that she spoke out loud as his arms tense around her.

“Rey, you don’t have to do this.”

“Ben. Shut up. I want to, if you want me to.”

His response is a garbled mess that sounds like “ohshitfuckyesplease”

She continues with her hands for a few moments, and she watches his face. She keeps catching him looking at her, then squeezing his eyes shut like he’s embarrassed to watch her.

It’s cute, but silly.

So, she pushes on his shoulder to get him to lie on his back, and then she straddles him, pushing herself backward a bit to hover over him.

“Ben. Look at me.”

Something like a whine leaves his throat as he opens his eyes. His pupils are blown wide as he stares down at her.

“I want you to watch me. Okay?”

“Fuck. Yes. Okay.” 

She makes full eye contact, and keeps it, while she licks a stripe up the underside of his cock.

His hands fist into the blanket beneath him, and Rey continues staring him down as she slowly lowers her mouth onto him.

“Fuckfuckfuck.” 

When he’s gone as far as he can into her mouth and she loosens her throat to take him further, he groans and curses and slides one hand into her hair. Rey slowly licks her way back up, this time hollowing her cheeks on the way back down.

She continues on like that for a while, occasionally pumping him with her hand and mouth to see how much she can make him groan.

“Rey, I’m close,” Ben says, and his voice is strained. 

He’s still watching her, and she moans with him deep in her throat and his entire body tenses beneath her as she speeds up her mouth and nods at him in confirmation.

“Do you wanna come in my mouth?”

His eyes go wide and shocked as he stares at her open-mouthed. 

She takes that as a yes.

She sucks him in harder and deeper, swirling her tongue over the ruddy head of his cock.

“Shitfuckyes Rey so good” His hand in her hair pulls harder, and she sucks harder as he spills himself down her throat. 

When his body stops shaking, Ben roughly pulls her face up to his and chases her when she pulls away. His kiss is searing and intense as he rolls over on top of her. Rey opens her mouth to him, and his tongue sweeps in, claiming hers. 

Ben moans her name as he starts kissing his way down her throat and over her collarbones to her sports bra. 

Rey can tell where this is headed, and even though she really,  _ really _ doesn’t want to stop him, she feels the need to remind him.

“Ben?”

“Hmm?” His lips close over her nipple through the fabric of her sports bra and he nips lightly with his teeth.

“ _ Shit _ . Ben.”

He’s pulling the strap down over her shoulder to free her breast, and kisses his way down to the tip where he lightly traces her nipple with his tongue.

“Benjamin. I am bleeding.” 

He freezes and looks up at her, terrified.

“Oh, no. Not like that,” she laughs. “But umm, you can’t return the favor. At least not yet.” 

He looks sadly at her before he gives her breast one last kiss and pushes the strap back up on her shoulder. 

“And Ben?” 

“Yeah?” He’s still looking sadly at her re-covered boobs. 

“Up here.” She tips his head up with one finger. “You don’t have to kiss me…after.” 

“Rey.”

He pulls himself back up so he’s hovering above her, arms bracketing her.

“I always want to kiss you. Especially then. So let me, okay?” 

Rey runs her fingers up his biceps and over his shoulders to the chiseled planes of his chest, marveling at how beautiful his body is.

And marveling at him. Blow jobs had been more of a chore for her before, and the few times she’d done it in the past had not resulted in kissing after. But she’d wanted to taste him almost from the moment she’d seen him. 

“Okay.” 

~ 

Bacon is cooking in Rey’s house when she wakes the next morning.

She rolls over and Ben is gone, so she assumes he is the one cooking. Rey pulls her hoodie on and brushes her teeth before padding out into the kitchen. Ben is somehow stirring something in a large bowl while simultaneously flipping strips of bacon in a large pan she was not aware that she owned. Jacen is sitting at the table listening while Ben explains something to him about butter and vanilla.

“Morning,” she says sleepily, padding over to rise on her toes and kiss him on the cheek.

He turns and kisses her lips, and Jacen groans. Ben grins at her.

“There’s coffee,” he waves at the pot.

“Bless you,” she says, searching for her favorite mug.

“And there’s gonna be bacon and eggs and pancakes up in a few minutes.”

“God, you’re a saint,” she says sleepily. “I think I’ll fall in love with you.”

Ben’s back goes ramrod straight at the stove.

Rey pours her coffee.

And then what she said hits her.

“Eventually, I mean. You know, when we’ve had three dates instead of two.” She giggles nervously.

Ben remains silent.

Shit.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, thinking her heart my crack in two.

“Don’t be,” he says quietly. “I feel it too.” 

He holds his arm out for her, and she tucks herself underneath, leaning against his side as he expertly makes what looks like the most amazing breakfast she will ever have. He kisses the top of her head, then steers her back to the table where Jacen is very pointedly ignoring them.

Rey’s on her second cup of coffee when she hears the little girls waking up in their room and then their screeches when they see Ben cooking. Jacen and Rey both have to hold the little girls back before they rampage into the stove and get burned.

“Mistah Wen!” Jaina yells, scrabbling with her tiny hands where Jacen has his arms around her.

“Actually, Jaina,” Ben says without looking at them as he perfectly flips a pancake in the skillet, “would you rather call me Ben?”

Rey’s heart stops for a moment.

His real name is something so personal to him, and the fact that he’s sharing it with her kids, is too much. A few tears leak from the corner of her eyes.

“Ben?” Jaina’s nose wrinkles. “Who’s Ben?”

“I’m Ben,” he says. “Kylo is a silly made-up name.” 

“Hmm. Ben. Okay!” And she wriggles away from her brother to sit on Rey’s lap.

“Wey?”

“Yes, Jaina?”

“Did you know he’s Ben?” The little girl looks very serious.

“I do now,” Rey laughs. 

Alema doesn’t seem bothered by Ben’s admission, and neither does Jacen.

“Jacen?”

“I already knew. Google.”

He looks over at her and shrugs.

Ben’s breakfast is the most delicious thing she’s ever eaten. His pancakes are light and fluffy with crispy edges, and there must be some kind of magic in the eggs and bacon because they’ve never tasted so good before.

After breakfast. Rey and the kids watch cartoons while Ben showers. When he comes out, his hair is damp and the scent of his soap and shampoo clings to him, and it’s so domestic that Rey's heart squeezes at what she's never had and the possibilities. 

But its too soon for that. 

Rey makes sure everyone is occupied before she takes her own shower, stealing some of the shampoo he left in her bathroom. And the shower gel too, it’s nice smelling like him. Her cramps are mostly gone, thank the gods, so she feels good enough to take a little extra time putting on mascara and lip gloss and pulling a sundress out of her closet. She puts sneakers on with it, though, because she's not crazy. 

When she emerges from her room, the first thing key sees is Ben on the floor in front of the couch with the little girls sitting behind him. The second thing she sees is what looks like every single sparkly bow and hair clip the girls own in his shoulder-length hair. Rey feels her mouth form a shocked 'o' as he turns to look at her, clips clinking together with the movement.

"I see you got the princess treatment." Rey feels her lips curve into a smirk. 

"Nuh uh," Alema says, "He's prince Ben! But we have to save him from the dragon."

"Of course! How silly of me, Prince Ben.” Rey giggles when he looks at her in a silent plea for help. 

"Wey, are you a princess again?" Jaina points at Rey's rarely worn dress. 

"Sure," Rey answers, "let’s all be princesses. At the park!"

The little girls screech in delight and demand to wear their dress-up dresses to the park, and naturally, Rey agrees.

Together, they all walk together to the park. Ben swears his ankle is better, so he has a bag slung over his large shoulder with all the baseball stuff he and Jacen will ever possibly need, probably enough for the next decade. 

Rey slips her hand into Ben's as they walk and presses into his arm just enough that her dress gapes open a bit, giving him a direct view of her lack of a bra.

"Rey," he growls in her ear. "there are kids."

"I know," she says and turns to press her lips to the hard muscle in his shoulder. Now that she knows his fascination with her tits, she’s going to take every opportunity to taunt him with them.

When they arrive, Ben and Jacen go set up in the field, and Rey and the girls play princess in the castle. Jaina is, unsurprisingly, a tyrant. Eventually, Rose shows up with her three and joins them.

"So you had a visitor last night." 

"Yep." Rey doesn’t offer details.

"Details!" Rose demands.

"No details," Rey says. "Shark week." 

"Oh." Rose looks disappointed.

"He brought me food, though." 

Rose looks shocked.

"When's the wedding?" Rose grins like a devil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben smells like Acqua Di Gio, if you were wondering.  
> [Armani Acqua Di Gio](https://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Giorgio-Armani/Acqua-di-Gio-410.html)


	12. Batting Cage and Shawarma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New coach with some questionable coaching methods. A wild Poe appears. Shawarma, and an angsty late-night visit to a batting cage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: mild violence and drinking
> 
> I struggled with this chapter. I'm not sure why, but here it is. We'll return to the fluff soon enough. Thanks to skyeryder01 for beta reading and helping me through my block.

Monday means returning to Starkiller Stadium for the team meeting and resolution of all the shit with Snoke. Ben hasn't thought of baseball or Snoke since he saw Rey at the park, so returning to the scene of his torment sends his mind back down those old paths of self-loathing and doubt. A certain darkness overtakes him, and he feels Kylo trying to rear his ugly head, despite all the light that Rey has brought him over the past few days.

"Kylo!” Finn's voice sounds far away, and Ben realizes that Finn has been calling him for a while. A few days of Rey using his real name, and Kylo is almost completely forgotten.

"Yeah?" Ben tries to throw the usual surliness into his voice, but now he realizes how exhausting it was to be so angry all the time.

"You okay, man? We haven't seen you in a while." Finn seems genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, I'm good. I saw Rey a few times."

Finn bounces on the balls of his feet. 

"She told me. I'm happy for you guys. You both seem... better."

Phasma’s gold head pokes out of a door.

“Trooper, Ren, in here. Meeting. Now.”

Finn and Ben follow Phas into the meeting room where the rest of the team are already seated and waiting. Snoke is nowhere to be seen, but a familiar-looking woman with lavender-colored hair in a well-cut suit waits at the front of the room.

“Ah, good. I’m glad to see you could join us.” Her voice is authoritative, and Ben knows he should know who the woman is. “I’m Amilyn Holdo, the new head coach for First Order.”

Amilyn Holdo?

Oh, shit.

This has Leia written all over it.

“As you all know by now, Marcus Snoke has been released from being head coach after the incident with Kylo, here.” Ben sees her eyes narrow at him and knows that she is very much aware of who he is. “Not only has Snoke been replaced as head coach, but the team has been quietly purchased by the Skywalker Corporation.”

His parents  _ bought _ his baseball team? Ben doesn’t know how to feel, but Holdo continues.

“We’ve also traded for a new pitcher.”

Ben has a bad feeling about this.

“Everyone, please welcome Poe Dameron, he used to pitch with the Resistance.” 

A smattering of applause sounds as Poe jumps up from his seat in the front row and waves with his signature smirk.

Beside him, Ben feels more than sees Finn perk up.

“Hi, guys. I’m really excited to be here!” 

Ben ducks down low in his seat to avoid catching Poe’s eye. 

“Thank you, Dameron.” Holdo pats his shoulder. “So, I’ve looked at Coach Snoke’s stats and notes, and I have to say, I really disagree with his philosophies and ideas about baseball. Particularly playing injured players. But we’ll get to that later. Right now, I’d like to meet with all of you individually in my office so we can get to know each other better. Kylo Ren, you’re up first.” She beckons with a hand, and Ben follows reluctantly as she leaves the meeting room and heads down the hall to the office that used to be Snoke’s.

Already, she’s claimed it as her own. Framed art and certificates line the walls, and potted plants line the top of the bookshelves. A large framed photo of a college-age Amilyn and Leia is front and center on her desk, and Ben feels a pang at seeing his mother so young and happy when he never got to see her that way.

Amilyn goes around the large desk and seats herself in the chair, steepling her fingers in front of her with her elbows resting on the desk.

“So…Kylo.”

“Yes, Coach Holdo?”

“I assume you remember me.”

“Yes, ma’am.” She’s one of Leia’s oldest, best friends. Fierce and strong like Leia, she’s the only female head coach in the league.

“And I also assume that you know that your mother pulled a lot of strings to get me to come here.”

“No, ma’am. I did not know that.”

Leia sent Amilyn here? Why?

“She’s worried about you.” Amilyn sighs.

Ben scowls.

“She is. How long has it been since you’ve spoken?” 

Ben does the math in his head, and the realization is… a lot.

“Seven years.” 

“Benjamin Chewbacca Organa-Solo.” Ben winces at his full name. “Call your mother.”

“No offense, Coach, but I don’t think you can tell me to do that.”

“I am not telling you as your coach. I am your godmother, and Leia misses you. It’s hurting her not speaking to her only son.”

Ben rolls his eyes.

“She has Poe.”

“Mmm,” Amilyn hums. “And why do you think she sent him here too?”

“I could never presume so much as to begin to fathom the workings of Leia Organa’s mind,” Ben says with just a shade too much snark.

“Benjamin.” Amilyn’s eyes narrow. “Han isn’t doing well. Did you know that?”

“I did not.”

“Well, you would if you called your mother.”

Ben sighs. 

“I just so happen to have her number. Here.” Amilyn pushes a slip of paper toward him across her desk. 

His fingers shake a little as he slowly takes the paper from her.

“And Ben? After you call Leia, get your ankle checked out again. She’d never forgive me if you got injured on my watch.”

When Ben is safely away from everyone, he takes the paper out of his pocket and turns it over and over in his fingers, unsure of how to proceed. He wants to call Rey, but he knows what she would tell him: to call and try to make things right. Rey would be right, of course, and that shocks him. If Han is sick, Ben  _ needs _ to call his parents. But he doesn’t want to hear accusations and name-calling and the sadness that always crept into Leia’s voice when she talked about him. The guilt that would eat away at him if Han died before they healed the rift between them would be…unimaginable.

Ben sends Rey a quick text that he’s about to call his parents, then bites the bullet and does it. His breath catches in his throat when he hears Leia’s voice for the first time in years.

“Leia Organa.” Her voice is still curt and business-like, exactly how he expected. But hearing it still feels like getting punched in the gut.

“Leia. It’s- it’s Ben.”

A gasp and a sob.

“Benjamin?” Her voice sounds tired and worn-down.

“Just Ben. It’s me.”

“I take it you saw Amilyn.” The tiniest hint of amusement sounds through the exhaustion.

“I did. She told me to call you and that Da- uh, Han is sick.” Ben doesn’t feel like he has the right to call Han Dad.

“He wrecked the falcon a few weeks ago and is having complications from the reconstruction surgery. An infection. It’s possible more surgery will be required, but we won’t know until he gets better. He collapsed at Chewie’s last week and he’s been in hospital since.”

“Shit, that sounds bad.”

“Benjamin, don’t curse. It’s not polite.” 

Ben sighs and rolls his eyes. Of course, she’d nitpick on that when his father is in the fucking hospital.

“Leia, I-“

“Benjamin, I am your mother, and you will call me such or I swear to Ri’ia that I will be at Starkiller so fast you won’t know what happened.” 

“I didn’t know if you still wanted me to.” His voice cracks. 

“Oh, Ben. You never stopped being my son, no matter how stupid you acted.”

“Ouch,  _ Mom _ .”

“It’s true and you know it,” Leia puts on her mom voice. “Snoke manipulated you and used you, and he would have thrown you away once he’d gotten what he wanted. You know that now, right?” 

“I’m starting to see it now, yeah,” Ben says, hanging his head though there’s no one around to see.

“Chewie misses you,” Leia says, changing the subject.

“How is Chewie?” Ben misses his uncle, too.

“Same as always, hairy and cranky. Look, Ben, I’ve gotta go, but promise you’ll answer if I call you back? Han will want to hear from you when he wakes up.” 

“Yeah, sure, Mom. I’ve gotta get to practice anyway.”

“And Ben? Come see Luke when the season is over.” 

She hangs up before he can curse more. That is  _ not  _ going to happen.

While Ben waits to see Dr. Kalonia, Rey texts back.

**your PARENTS? ben what the fuck? did something happen? is something going on? is snoke back? istg i will kick his wrinkly old man ass if he’s back to hurt you**

**BENJAMIN.**

**🤯🤬👊🏻🖕🏻**

Ben chuckles at her fierceness and knows she means it. He texts her back.

_ I’m okay.  _

_ Well, I’m not okay, but it’s not Snoke. _

_ I’ll tell you more later. _

_ Shit just got a little weird today. New coach. _

_ I talked to my mom. _

Slipping his phone in his pocket, Ben fidgets in the chair outside Dr. Kalonia’s office. His foot shakes of its own accord, and he can’t figure out what to do with his hands. Somehow, he feels too big and too small, and it’s infuriating to be so helpless and unsure. Before, with Snoke, he always felt certain that he was a worthless piece of shit, and nothing more. But now, with Rey… Ben doesn’t know how to feel about himself or his parents, or much of anything.

All he really knows is how he feels about Rey.

When Dr. Kalonia clears him to play, albeit with very stern instructions to immediately see her if he has  _ any _ problems, Ben heads down to where the rest of the team have begun stretching and warming up.

Holdo hasn’t shown up yet, and the other players have formed little groups, talking while they prep for practice. Ben’s normal practice routine is solitary, but he joins Finn and Phas, and immediately regrets it when Poe’s curly head pops up, seemingly out of nowhere.

“Kylo! You good?” 

Ben has never been so grateful for Finn’s enthusiasm.

“Yeah, Kalonia says I’m good to play.” Ben shrugs as he settles his hat down over his hair.

Poe sticks his hand out to Phas.

“Hi! I’m Poe.” 

The blonde woman glares down at him before gripping his hand in what Ben knows is a death grip.

“Phas,” she says, still glaring. Phas is not one to be overly friendly to strangers.

Finn, on the other hand…

“Hi, Poe, I’m Finn Trooper, catcher.” Finn budges Phas out of the way and holds his hand out to Poe. “And it is  _ very _ nice to meet you.”

Ben is completely shocked when Poe ducks his head, but he’s not fast enough to hide the hint of color staining his sunburnt cheeks. Finn’s grin grows wider.

“So, tell us about playing for the Resistance. I’ve heard that the Skywalker teams are  _ the best _ to play for.” Phas butts in before Finn can start flirting.

Very pointedly, Ben ignores Poe’s side-eye.

“Oh, yeah, the Resistance was great. Best team I’ve played for. Coaches, staff, it was all incredible.”

“So why did they trade you?” Phas’s pale blue eyes narrow. “Mitaka’s not  _ that _ good.”

“Well, actually,” Poe starts, but Ben interrupts.

“He probably talked their fucking heads off,” Ben snaps.

“Wait you know him?” Finn says at the same time Holdo speaks.

“Language, Ren.” She’d appeared out of nowhere, now changed into clothing more suitable for practice, dark athletic pants with a team t-shirt and a red FO hat clashing violently with her lavender hair.

“First Order!” she barks, and Ben is reminded sharply of his mother in all her commanding glory. 

All the players halt their warmups and gather in a semi-circle before Holdo.

“I don’t know how Snoke ran practices, but what I see now, I don’t like. Too much separation. We have to work  _ together _ . Together, we’re better. Remember that.”

Ben restrains himself from grimacing. He can see why the woman is Leia’s best friend.

“Today,” Holdo continues, “we’re going to do something different. Grab hands and make a circle.”

What the fuck.

But the team did as they were instructed, with Holdo standing in the middle of the circle.

“Now,” she said, “we are going to hold hands until you feel like a  _ team _ . Got it?”

Confused mumbling answers her question.

Holdo narrows her eyes at them.

To his left, Finn bounces on the balls of his feet. To his right, Phas is as solid as a rock, completely unmoving. Ben feels disjointed at being in such close quarters with his teammates.

After what feels like millennia, but is probably about ten minutes of awkward silence and shuffling feet, Holdo barks at them again.

“Attention! We’re now going to run the bases.” Everyone drops hands immediately, grateful to not be holding hands like children. “Did I say to break the circle?” 

Ben and his teammates stare at each other, then at Holdo. She can’t be serious.

“Reform the circle,” she commands, and they all reluctantly do so. “And, run.”

And so they did. As ridiculous as it was, all twenty-five players held hands and maintained the circle as they ran the bases with Holdo running with them, still in the center.

It’s extremely difficult and awkward and weird.

“Again,” she yells, “Faster this time.”

So they do.

“Now, slow.”

The woman really is crazy.

“Backwards.”

Why, Ri’ia? Why?

“That was better. Now you vaguely resemble a team. We’ll continue this exercise every day until you can work together seamlessly, with no breaks and no stumbling.” Holdo claps her hands together. “Now for drills!” 

The practice is unlike any other he’s attended in his 25 years of playing baseball in some form or another. Holdo is authoritative, but unlike Snoke, she does not belittle or anger her players. Her methods are  _ exhausting _ . Ben can barely walk to his car after the woman decided that the cooldown from her first practice would be  _ yoga _ and  _ meditation _ . Ben shudders at the thought. Meditation and too much introspection have left him feeling unsettled, and he wants nothing more than to see Rey, to wrap her in his arms and bitch about his day with his new boss.

And oh, how mundane and domestic it sounds.

It sounds glorious.

Without thinking, Ben climbs into his car and drives it on autopilot straight to Rey’s. Once he’s parked on the street in front of her house, he realizes he should’ve called her first. He tries, but it rings once and goes to voicemail. A text comes in soon after.

**sorry ben it’s family story time at the library and the kids love it! i didn’t think you’d be out this early or i woulda invited you. next time?**

_ Yeah, I’d love that. _

_ Can you call me later? I want to tell you about my day. _

_ New coach was NUTS _ .

**sure thing! xo**

Restless, and needing to do  _ something _ now that his unwitting plans have been foiled, Ben texts Phas and Finn to see if they want to get dinner.

Phas suggests the new shawarma place downtown, and Ben and Finn agree.

The shop is small with a glassed-in counter and cones of meat spinning behind glass doors. The smell is amazing, and Ben almost doesn’t wait for the others to arrive to place his order. But he feels like friends would wait, and since they’re all friends now, he’s got to do the friend thing.

He really wishes he hadn’t waited, because when Finn arrives, Poe walks in with him. 

Shit fuck.

This is really turning out to be a hell of a day, he thinks, trying not to bare his teeth.

“Hi Ben!” Poe calls, waving vigorously!

“Who’s Ben?” Finn asks.

“He’s Ben.” Poe points gleefully at Ben.

“What?” Finn is confused.

“He’s Ben Solo.”

POE FUCKING DAMERON, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, Ben seethes.

“Huh,” Finn doesn’t seem bothered. “Cool. So, food?”

Ben thanks the gods for Phas’s lateness, because Phas would not have let _that_ go.

Phas comes in, and of course she has Hux with her, because why not make the day more awkward. Introductions are made and they all order and take an outdoor table.

The weather is pleasant and slightly cool, and the scent of the restaurants of downtown filter to them, along with the sounds of families playing at the nearby playground and music from the bars dotted along the street.

They’re all eating and chatting about music and tv when Finn stiffens and turns to Ben, pointing and open-mouthed.

“Ben  _ Solo _ ?” Finn's food is halfway to his mouth, forgotten now.

“What?” Phas zeroes in on Ben’s ducked head and burning ears. Hux looks around curiously.

“As in  _ Han  _ Solo?” 

“Yep! That’s his dad? Cool, huh?” Poe answers for Ben.

“God _ damnit _ , Poe,” Ben snaps, “I didn’t want anyone to know.”

“So you  _ do  _ know each other,” Phas looks between Poe and Ben, waving her fork between them.

“Why the fuck not?” Finn is bouncing in his seat. “If my dad was a hall of famer, I’d tell the world! But I don’t know my dad, so maybe not.” Finn chuckles at his own weak joke.

Hux looks down and fiddles with his napkin, while Poe looks the tiniest bit embarrassed.

Ben runs his hands through his hair and decides to come clean.

“My dad and I don’t really get along, and I didn’t want people to think I was just handed my position because of my name.”

Hux’s ginger head nods and Phas looks at him, a cool calm creeping over her face.

“But-“ Finn tries to interrupt.

“No. I had been thinking of using my real name again, though, because of Rey. But now that Skywalker owns FO, maybe not.”

Phas and Hux stare at him for a moment, and Ben can see the gears in their heads whirring.

“Isn’t Han Solo married to-“ Finn starts.

“Leia Organa, Anakin Skywalker’s daughter. Yep!” Poe interjects again, damn him.

“So you’re essentially working for your parents?” Phas asks, a hint of a grin tugging her lips upward.

“Bingo.” Ben points at her. “And I fucking hate it. It’s exactly what I was trying to avoid when I became Kylo Ren.”

Abruptly, he stands, knocking his chair over in the process, but he doesn’t bother to right it.

“I need some air,” Ben says, not looking back at them as he walks away.

“We’re outside!” he hears Finn call helpfully.

Idiot.

He hasn’t gone very far when he hears light footsteps behind him, and thinking it’s Poe, he turns around prepared to snarl that he wants to be left alone,  _ goddamnit _ .

But it’s not Poe or Finn, or even Phasma.

It’s Hux

Red-haired, cowering Hux, who always looks vaguely as though he smells something rotten.

“Ah, Kylo?” 

Ben quirks an eyebrow but says nothing.

“I just,” Hux pauses and rubs the back of his neck, “I just wanted to tell you that I understand. About not getting along with your father. Do you know who Brendol Hux is?” 

Ben shakes his head.

“It doesn’t matter. Not seeing eye to eye with your family and needing to distance yourself? I get that. My father wanted me to be part of his soul-sucking corporation, but I never wanted that."

“Why are you telling me this?” Ben is uncertain where the conversation is going.

“I don’t think those guys get it.” Hux jerks his thumb back toward their table. “Phas knows what I’ve told her but she doesn’t  _ understand _ . But I get it. Not wanting to be handed things or having people think you bought your way in? It sucks.” 

Ben isn't really sure how to process the information.

"Thanks," he says uncertainly. "If you could change things, would you?" 

"I can't," Hux says, jamming his hands into his pockets. "My father is dead."

Ben doesn’t know what to say, and Hux gives him a sort of sad half-grin before walking back to join the others. For a few moments, Ben stands and considers the events of the day. Then he goes back to the table.

"I've gotta go. There's something I have to do," he explains. "And Hux? Thanks." 

Hux nods knowingly.

Ben is reluctant to head back to his apartment, and he hasn’t heard from Rey, so he’s at a loss. The only other place he ever really goes is the stadium, and despite it being at the heart of his problems, it’s the only place he can think to go.

An empty baseball stadium is eerie in its peacefulness. With no lights or sounds other than his own footsteps and the creaking of the metal gate as he swipes his key fob to get in, Ben feels like he’s in a horror movie.

And maybe he is, because as soon as he’s safely behind the metal gate of the batting cage, every light in the stadium blazes on, blinding him. Blinking, Ben peers through his fingers but sees nothing other than the stadium, lit up like it’s a game night.

Maybe it’s a glitch, he thinks.

The wooden bat spins in his hands as he swings it lightly to loosen his shoulders and wrists. He hears a faint clink like glass, but when he sees nothing, he chalks it up to the wind blowing one of the stadium’s many sponsor flags. So he presses the button for the automatic pitching machine and squares up his hips and shoulders for the first pitch. 

_ Thunk _ .

Hit, left.

_ Thunk. _

Hit, center.

It’s dark in the alcove where the machine is located, but Ben would swear he saw something move behind the machine. 

Maybe it’s just from the machine.

_ Thunk. _

Left.

Something definitely moved.

Ben straightens up and heads toward the machine.

He sees the ball coming and turns just barely fast enough to avoid being hit straight in the stomach; it rams into his flank instead.

Instant numbness and then intense pain radiate from the spot and Ben folds to the ground, landing on his hands and knees, gasping for breath

He knows he should move, but moving will invite more pain to course through him.

Another clink of glass and an ugly, raspy laugh.

The machine moves again, and this time, Ben can see the figure of a man hunched behind it.

_ What the fuck _ ?

“I should have left you to rot with your uncle.” Snoke’s voice projects from the darkness behind the pitching machine, punctuated by the crash of him tossing an empty bottle of liquor over his shoulder. “You’re  _ worthless _ ,” the old man spits. “You were nothing! I made you! And this is  _ your fault! _ ” 

Ben stays silent on the ground as he watches Snoke stumble out from behind the pitching machine, and he shouldn’t be surprised, not really. Ben’s been the recipient of angry drunken messages and calls from the man for years now.  He grips the bat tighter in his hand but remains down, readying himself, but hoping he doesn’t have to defend himself against the broken old man who is now stumbling toward him, but expecting the worst anyway.

“What do you want?” Ben asks breathlessly, trying to pull himself back to the gate of the batting cage. Snoke is unpredictable at best, volatile and a murderous snake at worst, and Ben wouldn’t put it past him to try something.

“I built this team. I made you. It’s all mine, and I am not leaving!  _ You can’t take it away from me! _ ” 

Snoke is close enough now that Ben can see the redness around his eyes and spittle flying from his trembling lips as he towers over his once-again injured former player.

Each breath burns, but Ben refuses to let Snoke see his pain as he hauls himself to his feet, glaring at the old man straight in the eyes.

“Just because  _ you’re _ worthless,” Ben growls, “it doesn’t mean I am. I believed all your bullshit for  _ years _ , just because you always wanted what my family had. You’re done, old man.”

Snoke snarls in Ben’s face.

And punches Ben right where the ball had hit him.

The adrenaline spike is enough for Ben to swing the bat up to block the knife that Snoke is somehow now brandishing. Sharp metal skids across the wood of the bat, and Ben throws the bat, and Snoke with it, away from himself before the knife can hit him. Snoke scrabbles backward and trips over a stray ball, falling flat, splayed out before Ben.

Chest heaving, Ben glares down at Snoke, and for the briefest moment Ben thinks about how easy it would be to just end the old man with the bat. It would be  _ so easy _ . Snoke had attacked him after all, and Ben has no illusions that the old man came here for any reason other than murder.

But  _ Rey _ .

Ben’s own moral compass may still be skewed, but he’s learning from her. 

So he just stands and glares at the old man for several long moments.

“I. am. not. worthless.” Ben spits.

And then he notices the flashing red-and-blue lights and the sirens.

Amilyn’s voice echoes over the stadium’s sound system.

“Ben, are you all right?” She sounds concerned.

Or as concerned as one can sound through that many speakers.

Knowing she can’t hear, he holds out a thumbs up.

“Okay, the police are coming into the cage, and you need to come out.”

When Ben has given a statement to an officer and has been checked by an EMT, Amilyn makes her way through the small knot of officers to come and gives him a once-over.

“Well, this has been a more exciting first day than I expected.” Her tone is laced with sarcasm as she rolls her eyes.

“How did you know?”

“Security app.” She waves her phone in front of his face. “I saw Snoke on the cameras, and I figured he wouldn’t do any harm, but then you showed up. We’ll talk about that later, by the way.” She pats him on the shoulder. “You’ll need an x-ray before you’re cleared to play. I’ve informed your mother that you’re on your way to the hospital.”

For fuck’s sake. 

“Amilyn,” he starts, but she glares at him and waves her finger in his face. “ _ Coach Holdo,” _ he continues, “I am an  _ adult _ . Why the fuck did you inform my mother?” 

“We were on the phone when I saw you on the camera. She was already at the hospital with Han.”

Oh. Well, now he feels like an asshole.

“Fine, I’ll go.” He fishes his keys out of his bag, but Holdo stops him.

“Absolutely not. You will ride in the ambulance.”

“Isn’t that a bit overkill?” Ben snaps.

“You were almost  _ overkilled _ , Benjamin.” 

He rolls his eyes.

“Hanging out with Han, too, I see.” He sounds like a surly teenager.

“You will respect me, Benjamin, or you might find yourself off the roster.” And she sounds like a mom.

“Yes, ma’am.” He’s a little chastened by her threat, but more by her tone. It sends him down a ride of memories of Leia. Leia, yelling at Han for public drunkenness when Ben was four. Leia, yelling at Ben when he punched a bully at school. Leia, yelling at Ben for staying out all night with his baseball buddies. Leia, yelling at Ben that he’s better than this, than Snoke, and to  _ just stay _ .

He shudders and lets the EMT help him into the back of the ambulance and watches Amilyn disappear with the slamming of the double metal doors.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been rereading [Equilibrium](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14360076/chapters/33148182)  
> by AttackoftheDarkCurses, and Amilyn's coaching methods were inspired by Luke's methods. It's one of my favorites and I highly recommend it.


	13. Shower Gel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finds out about the injury and shows up at the hospital, a little family awkwardness, and Ben goes home with Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Leia POV for ya. There will be more family reunion stuff, I just wanted to include this little bit of light family drama.
> 
> Thanks to skyeryder01 for helping me work out hand placement. If at any point there are too many limbs, it's not my fault (ha jk.)

_ Rey, I’m okay. Don’t freak out. _

_ But I’m at the hospital getting x-rays. _

_ There was an incident at the stadium.  _

_ I’ll call you later and tell you, okay?  _

_ But I gotta leave my phone for a while because of the x-rays. _

_ I’m okay. Don’t freak out. _

“The hospital?” Rey squawks, chopped onions flying.

She’d ordered one of those online meal prep things, the kind that sends you all the ingredients with very detailed instructions, and it had arrived earlier in the day. Ordering it had been a last-ditch effort to attempt to  _ try _ to learn to cook; she’d thought it would be fun to  _ actually _ cook with Ben, rather than just watching. So now she’s up to her elbows in chopped things when Jacen holds her phone up in front of her nose. 

His face echoes her own worry.

“He says he’s okay. So he’s okay.” Let  _ them _ pretend to be okay, too. “Can you stir that?” Rey points at the pot where boiling water bubbles merrily, bumping the little bowtie noodles around. Jacen looks at her solemnly while he stirs.

“What do you think happened?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” Rey sighs. “All he said was ‘there was an incident’. 

“What does that mean?” Jacen watches the bubbling pasta morosely.

“Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe something else to do with his ankle?”

“Maybe.” The boy’s still scowling while he methodically swirls the wooden spoon.

“Okay, after dinner, we’ll call and see what we can find out. Deal?” Rey tries to carefully scoop up her chopped onions with the side of the knife but manages to dump them all out halfway to the pan.

“Deal.”

After their only moderately mushy meal of lemony, creamy pasta, Rey makes good on her word and calls Ben.

He picks up after a few rings.

“Hey, Rey.”

Relief floods her as his voice, at least, sounds normal.

“What happened? Are you okay? Why do you need x-rays?  _ What happened? _ ” All her words fly out too fast for him to get one in.

“Rey, I’m fine. I went to the stadium for batting practice after a shitty day, and Snoke broke in and I got hit with a ball. I’m just waiting for the doctor to show up to read the x-ray.” 

Rey has to remind herself to breathe when her vision goes white, then red.

“Why do I get the feeling there’s more to it?” Her voice comes out in a rasp. “Which hospital? We’re coming to you.”

“Rey, you don’t-“

“Which. Fucking. Hospital. Ben.”

There’s silence for a moment. 

“Vokara Che Memorial.”

“Good. Text me where you’ll be. We’ll be there soon.”

Rey gathers up the kids and their stuff and packs them into her small car. They’ll be up after their bedtime, but it’ll be all right this once. Besides it’s summer, she tells herself, avidly not thinking about where he might have gotten hit by a flying baseball and what that could do to a person, even if they were a redwood like Ben. Finn has told her before that the pitchers throw upwards of 90mph, and that it stings when he catches it with a glove, so imagining it hitting him- no. She won’t freak out until after it’s all over. For the kids’ sake and her own.

The glaring lights in the parking lot are too bright as Rey unbuckles seatbelts and makes sure everyone is holding hands. Her huge leather bag is slung over her shoulder, but it slips down as she herds everyone to the sliding glass doors of the hospital and she angrily yanks it back up. Ben’s message said that he was on the third floor, so that’s where Rey heads. All the kids are silent in the elevator. Her explanation about hospitals being for people who “don’t feel well” has Jaina and Alema on their best behavior, but Jacen is just nervous. His hands are clenching and unclenching by his sides in a gesture oddly reminiscent of Ben’s. He looks pale, and Rey throws her arm over his shoulders. Genuine surprise washes over her when he wraps his own thin arm around her waist and squeezes. 

The elevator dings and they exit, looking for a sign to point them to the radiology department. Rey doesn’t bother to stop at the desk when the nurse offers help. Instead, she marches straight past, mumbling about family waiting for them. The long hallway stretches before them, empty except for a well-dressed older woman pacing back and forth at the very end. When she catches sight of them, the woman pauses her pacing and peers in their direction for a moment before sharply turning on a heel and going into the stairwell.

Weird.

Only one door is partially ajar, and Rey shoves it open to see Ben lying back on the hospital bed with his eyes closed. 

~~~

Leia Organa Solo’s evening has been unpleasant, to say the least. The hospital staff won’t allow her to bring in Han’s favorite Corellian whiskey, nor will they allow her to drink the Naboo Red that her assistant Threepio had brought her with dinner. Something about hospital policy, though she knows for a fact that hospitals keep beer on hand. Her phone call with Amilyn had started off well enough, with her friend telling her that Ben’s ankle was fine, though he was a bit grumpy about the whole ‘new-coach’ situation. Then, when Amilyn had gotten a notification that there was a security issue at the stadium and she’d told a startled Leia that her son was currently in the stadium and being attacked by that murderous snake, Snoke. Amilyn had hung up, and Leia had waited on tenterhooks for what felt like years while she waited to hear back from her friend. Finally, Amilyn had sent her a brief text that Ben was on his way to the hospital for x-rays, and Leia hadn’t known how to feel. She hadn’t been in the same building as her son in seven years, and the possibility that she could run into him, or even choose to see him, struck a quivering nerve in her. 

Anxiety had rocked through her, and Han, in his slightly gruff way, had told her to stop worrying and get the hell down there already. So, she’d kissed him gently and taken the stairs down to the third-floor radiology department.

But, as she’s approaching his room, Leia can’t think of what to say to her son, so she bypasses it and walks to the end of the hallway, where she paces back and forth, wearing a path into the ugly, old tiles. For nearly five minutes she paces, uncertain what to do or say to her only son, trying to pull herself together enough to go in and see him. Another few minutes of pacing, and the elevator dings, and a woman emerges, three children in tow. There are two little girls and a boy with longish dark hair poking out from beneath a red hat. They draw closer and Leia’s heart stops along with her pacing. The little boy’s long hair and dark eyes are so familiar, that she feels her heart break even as it grows three sizes. Does Ben have a  _ son? _ Do she and Han have grandchildren? 

How did they not know?

The pain of losing her son returns like a fist around her throat. How could he have children and not bother to tell her? She had never even  _ thought _ about him having a family, but now that he does, the need to repair what they’ve lost is palpable in the air around her.

Leia can’t bear to watch any longer, so she turns away quickly, and goes back up the stairs to Han’s room.

She’s shaking by the time she practically collapses onto Han’s hospital bed. His arms wrap around her and squeeze lightly.

“What happened, your worshipfulness?” Even in the hospital, he doesn’t lose his trademark sarcastic wit.

Her reply is muffled against his chest, still muscled, though slightly softer with age.

He gently pushes her back into a sitting position.

“Try again.”

“It’s Ben. I-“ Leia gulps air, “there are  _ children _ , Han.”

“Are you sure?” Han scowls.

“The little boy looks exactly like he did at that age!” Leia wrings her hands in her lap.

“Then go talk to them.” Han wraps his hands around hers to stop her fidgeting.

“Come with me?” 

Han points at the tubes in his arm. 

“How? I don’t wanna show the kids my ass in this dress, either.” He flaps the hem of the hospital gown.

“Oh, shut up, Han. You’re coming with me.”

Then she rings the nurse for a wheelchair while she digs his old robe out of his suitcase.

~~~

Rey inhales with a squeak when she sees Ben lying on the bed. The harsh hospital light casts a sickly pall over his face, and he has a hospital robe draped loosely over his shorts. From where he’s lying, she can’t see any injuries, but she can only see half of his face, so…

When Ben sits up with a groan, she throws her purse to the ground and flings herself on him, trying not to sob into his shoulder.

“Ow, shit, Rey!”

She backpedals to stop hurting him.

“Shit! Um, uh, crap? Shoot? Sorry, kids.” Ben grins sheepishly at the little girls who have both clapped their hands over their mouths. “C’mere.” He gestures Rey back over to him and squeezes her with one arm. 

“I’m so sorry,” she breathes, blinking back tears and tucking her head into his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Rey,” his voice carries the slightest hint of a laugh. “I got hit by a baseball, I’m not dying.” 

“But isn’t that bad?” Rey feels her lip wobbling and bites it to make it stop.

“Rey, sweetheart, it’s just a bruise.” 

She glares up at him and can feel her nose scrunch up.

“Promise?”

He kisses the tip of her nose.

“Promise.”

“Good.” She smacks him on the shoulder. “What the hell happened?”

Ben glances sidelong at the kids, and Rey’s eyes follow his. Jaina and Alema have discovered the remote to the tv and are pushing buttons, completely absorbed in changing channels at lightning speed. Jacen is standing just inside the door, staring intently at Ben.

“Snoke showed up, drunk. He messed with the ball machine and I got hit.” 

Jacen flinches.

There’s more, she can tell, but she can also tell he doesn’t want to say it in front of Jacen, so she changes the subject.

“Tell me about your new coach. You said your day was weird?” She stops for a moment and he doesn’t speak. “With the new coach?” she presses.

Ben sighs.

“Yeah. She made us all hold hands and run in a circle.”

A snort sounds from the hallway.

“Amilyn’s methods have always been questionable, but they do get results.” It’s the older woman from the hallway, and an older man in a worn-looking robe and slippers sitting in a wheelchair, trailing a rolling IV.

The pair look vaguely familiar, but Rey can’t quite place them.

At least not until she feels Ben stiffen beside her, and she looks up into his face.

That face is mostly inherited from the man, but the eyes are definitely the woman’s.

And holy shit those are his  _ parents _ .

“Benjamin.” The woman gives a curt nod, but her eyes are soft as she looks at Ben, then around at the kids, and finally landing on Rey. “Are you going to introduce us to your family?”

Family?

“Um. What? Lei- Mom?” Ben doesn’t seem to get it, and he’s scowling at the woman.

“Your family, dear.” Ben’s mom waves around the room while Ben just stares at her.

“Um. They’re not? I mean maybe one day, but-“ Ben’s ears turn bright red and Rey wants to kiss him for being adorably awkward.

“But-“ and Leia gestures limply at Jacen, and it fully clicks for Rey.

With his dark hair and eyes, and FO hat, Jacen could easily be mistaken for Ben’s son.

“Oh, no, ma’am,” Rey interjects. She feels like she should curtsy or bow; this woman is  _ so  _ fancy. “This is Jacen. He’s my foster son.”

The woman turns her imperious gaze onto Rey.

“And who are  _ you _ ?” She doesn’t seem rude or condescending, just confused.

But Jaina chooses that moment to jump in.

“Are you a pwincess?” She gestures at the older woman’s crown braid.

“She is to me, kid,” the man in the wheelchair chuckles and wheels himself over to where Jaina is staring at them both. When he reaches the small plastic couch where the girls are sitting, Jaina peers at him for a moment, then pulls herself up in his lap, carefully avoiding the tubes in his arm.

“Does that mean you’re a pwince?” Jaina prods him in the chest with her tiny finger.

“Me? I’m a scoundrel.” The man grins at her.

Ben snorts.

“Got something to say, kid?” The old man’s tone is still light, but there’s an undercurrent to it that Rey can’t place, and she doesn’t like not knowing what it means. She gets ready to jump back into the conversation, but Ben beats her to it.

“Why are you here?” Ben sighs the question, running a hand through his hair.

“Amilyn told me you were coming for x-rays, so I came down to meet you, and then I saw. Well. I saw what I thought was your family, and I went to get Han so we could meet them. I’m Leia Organa,” she says turning to hold her hand out to Rey.

“Rey Niima. And this is Jacen, Jaina, and Alema.” She points to each of the kids in turn.

“And I’m Han Solo.” He winks at Jaina in his lap. “Not a prince.”

Rey chances a look back up at Ben. His face is mottled, and he looks like he’s struggling to breathe. That may have something to do with the bandage wrapped around his waist, though, because now that she’s closer, Rey can see it beneath the gown he’s wearing. She threads her fingers through his and squeezes, and he bumps his shoulder into hers in thanks.

“This isn’t how I wanted a family reunion to go.” Leia sighs. “It was lovely to meet you all, but I think we should go. Ben, do you need me to call you a car?” 

Rey bristles.

“He’s going home with me, Ms. Organa.”

Leia’s face twitches and Rey can’t tell if she’s angry or amused. Ben’s lips also twitch, like he’s trying not to grin.

“Call me Leia, dear.”

Dear? Rey’s not sure if the endearment is genuine or insulting, but she tries not to glare at the older woman. 

Leia looks at Ben for a moment, then rushes over to give him a small kiss on the cheek and rushes out of the room. Without Han.

“Guess I better go after her worshipfulness,” he winks at Jaina, who wraps him in a hug before climbing off his lap. “Good to see you, kid.” He nods at Ben. “I like her.” Han jerks his thumb at Rey as he follows his wife out.

~~~

Han and Leia wait until they return to Han’s room to discuss the scene they just witnessed.

“In my defense,” she said holding up a hand as Han started to speak, “they do look very much like a family.” 

“They are,” Han says, “he just doesn’t see it yet. Solo men are always a little oblivious.” 

~~~

After his parents leave, Rey sees that Jacen is still sort of hovering in the corner, so she calls him over to where she’s now tucked under Ben’s arm. 

“You okay, buddy?” she asks him.

His shoulders ratchet up to his ears, but he doesn’t answer. 

Ben flicks the bill of Jacen’s hat, knocking it back a little bit.

“What’s wrong, kid?” 

Rey hears the genuine concern in Ben’s voice, and she kisses him on the cheek before going to sit on the awful couch with Jaina and Alema. It’s not really privacy, but it’s the best she can do.

With his head still down, Jacen’s words come out as a mumble. The only word Rey catches is ‘drunk’, and a pang shoots through her. 

Ben obviously heard what the little boy said, though, because he pats the bed beside him, and Jacen perches on the very edge with his head still down. 

“Jacen,” Ben says, and it’s a jolt because he so rarely uses the boy’s name, “don’t be scared. Snoke is in jail, and everything is okay. Everything is gonna be okay. Got it?” 

Slowly, Jacen nods and his shoulders ease up a bit. Ben bumps Jacen’s fist with his own, and Rey does not comprehend male bonding rituals, but somehow Jacen seems to be better, so she’s not questioning it.

The doctor comes in a few minutes later, and Ben’s quickly cleared to leave, with instructions to take pain medication as needed and to use ice and heat for inflammation and swelling.

They all pack into her small car, with Ben folding himself into the front seat and Jacen squishing between the two girls in the back. The ride home is mostly silent, with the girls falling asleep almost instantly. When they arrive home, Jacen and Rey carry the girls in while Ben holds the door for them. Rey can see the pain start to show in his face, so she reminds him to take his pain medication. He scowls, and she laughs softly, remembering the last time.

“I’m only taking half this time,” he whispers as she carries Alema to bed, with Jacen carrying Jaina. The little girls settle easily, and once Rey is sure that Jacen is settled in his room with a book, she goes to find Ben, who is sitting on the edge of her bed, looking half mischievous, half in pain. 

“Can you help me?” he asks, tugging on the hem of his shirt. One eyebrow arches and his lips twitch, but he still manages to look mostly serious.

Pretending to be exasperated, Rey rolls her eyes but steps between his spread knees to lean down and pull his shirt up and over his head, then she flings it over her shoulder. 

The bandage covers most of his abdomen, and she slowly reaches down to unroll it, fingers brushing his warm skin. He shivers a bit under her touch. The bruise hasn’t fully spread yet, but it’s dark and ugly where the ball hit him. Rey traces her fingers on the skin around the bruise but doesn’t dare touch it.

“Is this okay?” She breathes. “Does it hurt much?”

He shakes his head.

“The meds helped.” 

Rey grins down at him.

“Are you going to tell me how pretty I am again?” Rey can feel how wide her grin is. “Because that was fun.” 

Ben huffs at her, catching her hips in his huge hands and pulling her forward to rest his chin on her sternum to look up at her.

“Maybe.” The word is deeper than usual. And he grins lazily and Rey feels heat pooling in her belly. His eyes go dark as he looks up at her and works his hands from her hips to her lower back then cupping her ass. “Maybe I’ll show you.” 

Goosebumps pebble her flesh at his touch and she lets out an involuntary moan. 

Ben’s eyes go darker and he grins up at her.

He moves his hands upward to thread through her hair, but he hisses through his teeth. Rey immediately freezes in his arms.

“I can’t lift my arm that high, it pulls too much.” He grunts, pulling his arm back down, then he blushes a little. “I need a shower, but umm. I can’t reach up high enough?” His voice is too deep to really squeak, but it goes higher than normal. 

Rey thinks it’s adorable. 

“Do you think you can help me?” He leans back to look up at her. “I can’t wash my hair by myself.” 

“Are you just trying to get me into the shower with you?” Rey pretends to be shocked and irritated, narrowing her eyes.

“No! No! You can stay outside the curtain and reach in or something! Or I’ll figure it out!” He’s stammering, and Rey glares down at him in mock seriousness, then kisses his forehead.

“I’ll help you. Go on, I’ll be in in a minute.” 

Blood pounds in her ears as she watches him go into her bathroom and partially close the door. Shivers start racking her body, a side effect from her anxiety earlier, and she makes her decision. 

It feels big. Momentous. Like a turning point to something deeper in their relationship. She knows nothing can happen because of his injury, but she needs the intimacy of just being with him, and she’s pretty sure he does too.

Darting into her closet to grab a robe and shuck her clothes, she calls to him that she’ll be there in a second. 

Taking a deep breath, she pulls open the bathroom door and goes into its steamy warmth.

“Hey,” she says, a little shyly, “do you still need my help?”

The curtain shifts aside enough for him to poke his head out, and when he sees that she’s naked, his mouth falls open. His eyes rake over her body, and she wonders if spontaneous combustion is a possibility.

Still gaping, he nods.

“Can I come in?” She shivers a bit, despite the heat.

He pushes the curtain aside enough for her to step in, and she closes it once she’s hauled herself into the shower with him. 

“Hi,” she breathes, and for a moment, he just stands there with water coursing over him, tracing paths over his gorgeous muscles and down to his-

Nope. Eyes up top, Niima, she thinks. No shower sex while he’s injured.

Ben very lightly puts his hands on her shoulders and maneuvers them so that she’s the one beneath the showerhead, but they’re still pressed together. The water is cooler than she prefers, and she squeaks and shivers, crossing her arms over her torso for warmth. Ben chuckles and reaches past her to turn the tap to the warmer side. He brushes against her, and Rey wishes her arms weren’t in the way so she could feel the brush of her nipples over his chest.

Maybe he should’ve left the water cold.

“So you need help with your hair?” 

“Mhmm.” 

“Okay.” She’s a little breathless and she squirts a handful of his shampoo in her palm.

Then she looks up at where his head is about a mile above her reach.

“Ben?”

He takes a moment to answer as he’s tracking the rivulets of water running over her chest and down her stomach. 

“Yeah?” He’s slow to answer and his eyes appear to be locked on her chest.

“I can’t reach your hair.”

“Hmm.”

“Eyes up, Ben.”

He reluctantly draws his eyes up and pouts a little.

“What were you saying?”

“I can’t reach your hair, you fucking redwood.”

He grins down at her, then slowly goes to his knees so he’s kneeling on the tub floor before her. Now his face is perfectly even with her breasts.

“How ‘bout now?” He’s close enough that his voice reverberates through her and sends heat shooting through her belly and lower.

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s good.” 

Rey slowly works the shampoo into a lather between her hands, then pushes the frothy mess into his hair. He closes his eyes and leans his forehead between her breasts, purring a bit as her nails scrape his scalp. His hands wrap around her ankles and slowly travel up the backs of her legs, lightly tracing circles over the sensitive spot behind her knees. As she scrubs his long hair, his hands travel up higher, pressing into her thighs and eventually kneading into her ass. They groan at the same time, and he leans his soapy head back to grin at her then presses a kiss to her breastbone.

When Rey turns to detach the showerhead, Ben’s hands rise higher, nearly encircling her waist, his thumbs stroking over her ribs. Rey tips his head back with one hand, rinsing out the shampoo with the other, scrubbing until the foam disappears. His eyes are closed and the rumbling in his chest indicates that he’s purring again. Turning back to hang the showerhead, Rey feels Ben’s tongue flick out to trace a stripe across the underside of her breast, and she stifles a moan. He grins but doesn’t do it again, instead, he grabs the shower gel he’d left behind and squeezes some into his palm before rubbing his hands over her breasts and stomach. His slow strokes stoke the fire in her belly, enough that she has to continually remind herself that he’s injured and they  _ can’t _ . 

His hands trace a light path over her stomach and down her legs, then back up over her calves and the backs of her thighs and up over her ass. He’s tall enough that if he presses closer to her, he can wrap his arms around her and scrub the soap up all the way to her shoulders and upper back one-handed, so he doesn’t stretch the bruise too much. When he’s finally finished and Rey is about to  _ beg  _ him to touch her, Ben gently pushes Rey back under the spray of water until the soap is gone. 

His fingers trace the crease of her thighs and she shivers in the heat of the water. With him still on his knees before her, Ben uses her hips to pull her forward until their bodies are fully pressed together. With one hand, he traces his fingers up over her abdomen to reach up and palm one breast while he presses gentle kisses to the underside of the other. His other hand traces a light path over her folds before dipping between them at the same time he sucks a nipple into his mouth.

“Ben,” she gasps as he growls against her breast. 

His mouth burns on her skin and Rey can hardly keep herself upright when his finger brushes gently over her clit before dipping lower to swirl over her entrance. His other hand and his mouth move together, with his thumb and tongue flicking over her nipples before he pinches and sucks at the same time. Then his thumb traces slow, lazy circles over her clit before he gently slides a finger into her. Rey gasps and clenches around his finger as he curls it in just the right way. Her thighs start trembling.

Sadly, Ben’s hand and mouth stop laving at her nipples as he sits back on his heels to look between her face and where his finger is pumping inside her. So slowly, he pulls his finger out and when he pushes back into her, he adds another, crooking his fingers  _ just  _ enough that her whole body trembles, but he stops.

“Don’t come, Rey,” he growls.

“W-what?” She stammers, grinding against his hand where his fingers remain inside her because it feels too fucking good and he  _ stopped _ .

“Don’t come.” The fingers  _ not _ currently inside her wrap around her hipbone to stop her grinding.

“Why?” She pleads. 

“Because, Rey,” and oh gods the way he growls her name is almost enough to send her over the edge even with his fingers not moving inside her, “when I make you come for the first time, you’re going to come on my fingers and tongue.”

Oh,  _ fuck _ .

And then he dips his dark head forward to lick a stripe over her slit as his fingers start pumping again. Rey can’t control the sounds that come out of her mouth as she reaches down and threads her fingers in his wet hair. His tongue circles over her folds before he uses his left hand to gently spread her lips and sucks her clit into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the bud.

She sees stars behind her closed eyes and loses track of what is happening. All she knows is how  _ good _ it feels to have his mouth on her and his fingers inside her.

“Shit fuck, fuck,  _ fuck _ ,  _ Ben!” _

Her hips are bucking against him and her upper back presses into the cold tile but she doesn’t care because holy fuck it feels so good. Wave after wave of pleasure crashes over her until she almost sinks to the floor with him. Gently, she tugs his hair to pull his attention away from where he is still sucking and laving at the over-sensitized bud between her legs.

He slowly stands, kissing his way back up her body to finally land at her lips, melding their bodies together. With a sigh, she opens her mouth at the flick of his tongue over her lips and wraps her arms around him.

“Ow!” He yells and she jerks herself backward. “Come back, it’s okay,” he pants, eyes still dark and a little wild.

“Are you sure?” Rey stays away.

He grabs at her hips and crashes their bodies back together. His hard length presses into her belly and without thinking she snakes one hand between them to wrap around him. His shudder is enough encouragement that she pumps her fist lightly then reaches with her other hand to cup his balls as she pumps faster.

He growls her name as she increases pressure and speed. His hips buck against her hand, and she watches in fascination, wishing he was rutting into  _ her  _ instead of her hand. But they’ll have time for that when he doesn’t have a bruise the size of a Rancor on his side. So she kisses him harder, and he comes on her belly after a few more powerful thrusts.

When he’s fully spent, he takes a cloth and gently cleans her, then wraps his arms around her, and they stand for what feels like hours beneath the cooling spray. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How cute is Jaina with Han though? And how bad did Leia wanna be a grandma?


	14. Breakfast Spaghetti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domestic bliss, a few conversations, and some realizations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to skyeryder01 for listening to my whining and complaining about not being able to write and for reading it when I finally got it finished.
> 
> Also thanks to her for the breakfast spaghetti recipe. It sounded like such a Rey thing, that I had to include it.
> 
> I apologize for taking what seems like ten years to finish this. I've been *struggling* for the past week.

When sunlight filters through the gauzy white curtains, Ben groans and tries to turn away from the brightness. But he can’t. What the-

A small golden arm and leg are thrown over him, and when he shifts a bit, he can feel Rey’s chest pressed tightly against his back. He huffs a laugh at  _ her _ spooning  _ him.  _ Gently, he disentangles her arm and leg and rolls them both over to wrap himself around her instead. She mumbles in her sleep, and Ben blissfully goes back to sleep with her hair in his face.

When he wakes again, it’s to a pair of sleepy brown eyes and mussed curly hair peering at him over Rey’s head.

“Jaina?” 

The little girl just stares, so Ben jostles Rey’s shoulder. She groans and doesn’t wake up. Ben makes sure he’s fully clothed, then gets out of the bed to scoop up Jaina with one arm and go out in the kitchen with her.

His bruised side is still stiff, and he gingerly sets the little girl down on the couch and sits down so she can crawl into his lap and tuck her head into his chest. 

"You okay, kid?" Ben isn't really sure what to do now that she’s decided that he’s her new seat.

She sniffles a bit, wrapping her two tiny arms around his bicep like lies a huge teddy bear.

"Had a bad dweam," her little voice says. Ben snuggles her closer. He knows plenty about nightmares; they plagued him as a child, too.

"Wanna tell me about it?"

"Bad people wanted to take us away from Wey. I love Wey. I don't want to leave her. Do you love Wey, too?" 

He chuckles against the top of her head.

"Probably one day, Jaina, but I haven't known her very long yet. But I like her a lot.”

Jaina considers him for a minute.

“Can you make me bweakfast?”

Ben considers Rey’s deplorable cooking skills for a moment and hopes he can rustle something up.

“Come on, kid, let’s see what we can find.” 

Eventually, Jacen and Alema join Ben and Jaina as they search for ingredients. Thankfully, they find the remains of the breakfast ingredients from his last stay, but the littles also want to add spaghetti, so he obliges them with trepidation.

“Good morning?” Rey’s voice comes from the hallway.

She’s adorably sleepy still, in her oversized shirt and messy hair. She rubs her eyes and stretches, and Ben wants to carry her back to the bedroom and have his way with her.

But he’s currently stirring the kids’ mix of bacon, cheese, and noodles, and whisking eggs at the same time.

“You have good timing.” 

“I smelled bacon,” Rey says, squinting at him.“What’s this?” 

“I’m not sure,” Ben says. “Breakfast spaghetti? Can you help me?” He blows up a lock of hair that’s in his eyes and shakes his head for emphasis, then pours the eggs over the noodles, cheese, and bacon.

“You want me to…” she takes a hair tie off her wrist and waves it at him.

“Yeah? It’s getting in my eyes.”

After blinking a few times, Rey comes over behind him and reaches up, making grabby hands at his hair, and Ben squats down a bit so she can scrape back the top half of his hair into what feels like a half-bun.

“Thanks, sweetheart.” 

“Welcome.” Her hands travel down his neck and shoulders, caressing gently down his back until she lightly swats him on the ass.

“Did you just feel me up?” Ben asks. “There are kids.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He hears the grin in her voice and the slosh of coffee into her mug.

He scoops the finished concoction into bowls, and Rey stares down at the bowl he hands her. 

“Huh,” Rey responds, taking a bite. “ ’s good.” She talks with her mouth full and continues chewing before taking a sip of her coffee.

The kids are digging into the food, and while it’s not what Ben would usually go for, he has to admit it’s pretty good.

When they’ve all finished eating their very odd, but weirdly delicious, breakfast, the kids run off to get dressed for the day, and Ben decides to address the elephant in the hospital room.

“So,” he says, leaning back against the counter when they’ve finished with the dishes, “you met my parents.”

“That I did,” she replies and grins up at him. “Not what I expected.”

What does she mean by that? Did meeting his parents scare her off? 

But, no, she’d still brought him home with her last night and…

“Ben?” her voice breaks through his thoughts. 

“Yeah?”

“I can hear you thinking. Stop it.” 

Rey comes around to face him and positions herself between his thighs, pressing her hands into his shoulders, and tilting her head back to look up at him. 

“Meeting the parents is a pretty typical thing to do in a...relationship?” she makes the last word a question.

“Are you sure you want that?” Ben’s voice comes out softer and sadder than he meant for it to. 

What he means is are you sure you want  _ me. _

She bumps her hips forward into his and smirks up at him when he grabs her ass to keep her there.

“I think I’ve made that pretty clear, Ben. The question is, is this what you want?” She gestures around her at the slightly messy kitchen with its drawings on the fridge, and mountains of plastic kid plates and cutlery, and a lone teddy bear peeking out of a lower cabinet.

And he didn’t realize it until she points it out, but it  _ is. _ There’s a family, ready-made and waiting for him.

So he answers her with a kiss that starts off soft and chaste but quickly turns searing, with teeth and tongues and hands and  _ groaning _ . 

Then the doorbell rings.

Shit, he forgot Phas was coming to pick him up.

Rey nips his jaw and he has to physically remove her from his neck because she seems intent on staying there.

“Stop it, you.” He points a mockingly accusatory finger at her, and she pouts a little. 

Ben bites her pouting bottom lip, but the doorbell rings again, longer and more insistently.

“Dammit,” he growls against her mouth. 

She giggles and smacks his ass again as he walks away to greet Phas.

After he’s packed his things and said his goodbyes, Ben follows Phas to her silver Range Rover.

“That was all very domestic,” Phas says as she reverses the car out into the street.

“What?”

“That…  _ that… _ that I just witnessed.” She waves her hand vaguely in the direction of the house. “Kissing the wife and kids goodbye.”

A vision of the future pops into Ben’s head: doing this  _ every day _ , and his brain short circuits at the possibilities.

“Dude. What happened yesterday?” Phas slides her oversized sunglasses up her nose and glances over at him.

Ben has conveniently forgotten about Snoke and his parents and…everything else. He scrubs his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“It’s a shit-show, Phas.”

“What did Hux tell you?”

So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours that Ben has to shuffle through memories like cards until the right one surfaces.

“Not much really. Just that his dad was a hardass and they had a bad relationship,” Ben says.

Phas hums. 

“Why?” Ben asks.

“I’m just surprised he opened up to you, is all. He doesn’t talk about it much, and it took him a long time to tell me about Brendol. I think he thought I wouldn’t get it.” Phas’s knuckles turn white where she’s gripping the steering wheel. “I think both of you should talk about it more.”

“Shit, is this Therapy With Phas hour?” Ben keeps his tone light.

“Shut up, assbutt, you know what I mean.” 

“Yeah, I guess I do.” Ben runs his hands through his hair before staring out the window.

“So, Ben Solo, huh?”

“That’s me.”

“You gonna tell the team?”

“You think I should?” He eyes the icy blonde warily.

“I think they’re gonna find out eventually, and I think it would be better if it came from you, especially with all this ‘team-building’ shit of Holdo’s.” 

Fucking Holdo.

Ben groans.

“Do you think we’ll have to hold hands like kindergarteners again?” He hopes not, but fully expects to.

“Probably. Guess we’ll have to get used to it.” 

They groan in unison.

When they reach the stadium, Poe immediately pops up out of nowhere and grabs Ben.

“Look, I’m sorry man. About yesterday.”

Ben rolls his eyes. Poe has always been horrible at secrets.

“It’s whatever. I should’ve expected it, anyway. Does the whole team know yet?” Ben asks.

“I kept my mouth shut. This time. You’ve got a reputation for being kind of scary around here, and I didn’t want big, bad Kylo Ren after me.” Poe snorts.

Ben rolls his eyes again.

“Shut up, Poe.”

Poe dances around and sings.

“Who’s afraid of Kylo Ren? Who’s afraid of Kylo Ren” 

“Dameron.” Holdo’s voice cuts through the singing like a knife. “Must you be so juvenile? The new owner of the team is with us today.”

Ben turns to look past Holdo, and sure enough, there’s Leia, who nods curtly at them both.

“Boys,” she says, and Ben really needs to stop rolling his eyes, or he’ll wind up with a migraine.

Poe bounds over to Leia and hugs her while Ben remains wary. Last night aside, he’s still uncertain of how he’ll be received by his mother.

“Can we talk?” she says softly.

Ben nods stiffly.

“Amilyn, may we?” Leia gestures to Holdo’s office.

“Of course,” Holdo says. “Dameron, with me.”

Reluctantly, Ben follows Leia to Holdo's office, where Leia seats herself behind the large desk. Resting her elbows on its surface and steepling her fingers before her, she watches Ben in silence for what feels like years. He feels like an awkward teenager again.

“How are you?” she finally asks.

“Fine,” he stiffly replies.

“And the x-rays?”

“Fine,” he repeats.

Leia sighs through her nose.

“Benjamin,” she begins. “I would like to  _ talk _ to you, get to know you again, but I can’t do that if you’re going to act like a surly teenager.”

Ben sighs too.

“Fine,” he says again, and she glares daggers. “Sorry.” He ducks his head. “How- how is Dad?”

And he’s surprised to find that he actually wants to know. Seeing his parents the night before had been weird. But seeing how old and frail Han had looked in the wheelchair had been…jarring. Startling, even.

“The doctors say he’ll be fine after another round of surgery and some physical therapy. It’s not as bad as they initially thought. He’s just not as young as he thinks he is.” Now Leia rolls  _ her  _ eyes.

“Hmm,” Ben hums, feeling relieved but unsure of what to say.

“Rey seems nice,” Leia changes the subject.

“She is.”

“How did the two of you meet?” Leia’s still peering at him over her steepled fingers.

“She’s Finn Trooper’s foster sister, and he gave all the foster kids from their old home tickets. I signed some balls for the kids.”

“And what is she to you? Have you been together long?”

Ben barks a laugh.

“No, I guess we haven’t been together long.”

But it almost feels like forever.

“Hmm,” Leia hums at him. “Han is very smitten with the little girl.”

“Jaina? Yeah, she’s a cute kid.”

“What’s the boy’s name?” she asks.

“Jacen.”

“He looks like you did,” she says quietly.

Ben says nothing, but he knows what she means.

“So, we thought, well  _ I _ thought you…I thought you had a family and didn’t tell us.”

And it stings a little, to hear the hurt in her voice, even if the slight  _ was _ imagined. 

“Jacen’s ten,” he says offhandedly. “Mom,” he begins, “I wouldn’t…” but he doesn’t finish the thought. “Rey has…” but that doesn’t feel right, either. “I think…I want to try to start over too. Being with Rey has… shown me things, and I want to make it right.”

“I’d like that. We’ve missed you, you know. Luke, too.”

Ben feels his hackles rise at the mention of his uncle.

“I don’t want to talk about Luke.” 

“Ben,” Leia starts, but he interrupts.

“No, I won’t. I’m not ready for that.”

For a moment, Leia’s face freezes over, and Ben knows she’s trying to hide whatever emotion she’s feeling.

“Okay,” she says, sounding a little defeated, and Ben wonders just how tired she is. Leia Organa is  _ never _ defeated. “I’ll take what I can get. For now.”

Ben, sensing that he’s been dismissed, rises from his chair. He’s at the door when she speaks again.

“Oh, and Ben?” She says. “I’d like to meet Rey. Officially.”

Ben shudders as he walks away.

Practice is more of Holdo’s team building bullshit. After running drills holding hands, she has them do  _ trust falls _ . It’s  _ terrible _ . Ben doesn’t really trust people, nor does he like being touched, so it feels like Holdo chose this to be a specific kind of hell meant just for him. Finn, of course, loves it. He laughs while falling and stays leaning back in Poe’s arms just a little longer than necessary. Phas goes through her turn with silent efficiency, falling back quickly without flinching and immediately walking away after she was pushed back up. Ben’s turn comes too soon for him, and when he turns his back on his team, he has to count down to his fall to hype himself up. So when several pairs of hands catch beneath his arms and back, and unfortunately his bruised side, Ben finds himself surprised. He realizes that he  _ expected _ them to drop him; he’s never really ingratiated himself to his teammates.

Eventually, they proceed to a more standard practice: speed drills, catching formations, and game tapes in preparation for the next home series. Holdo’s coaching methods, other than her weirdness, are very efficient, and after practice, Ben feels surprisingly good about his playing in a way he hasn’t in a very long time.

And maybe it’s the endorphins, or some residual painkillers in his system, but as he leaves the stadium parking lot, Ben decides to drive to the hospital.

It’s not where he expected to see his father again after seven years, not that he’d thought much about the  _ where _ so much as the how. The  _ how _ he expected to be…bad. Angry.

But Han hadn’t seemed angry last night, so maybe…

Ben hovers outside the door that the kind nurse directed him to when it flies open beneath his hand. A nurse in blue scrubs steps out and holds the door so he can enter, and now he has no choice but to go in unless he wants to look like an asshole.

So he goes in.

Han looks old, older even than he had in the wheelchair. Beeping machines and wires and tubes surround him, and he seems very small.

“Hey, kid.” At least his voice is the same.

“Umm. Hi.” Ben does an awkward sort of wave.

Han snorts.

The sight of Han in the hospital bed is enough of a jolt that Ben starts forward into the room.

“Dad, I’m-” Ben starts.

“I know, kid.”

And that’s it. 

It’s enough.

When Chewie comes in half an hour later, they’ve been discussing baseball, of course. Han’s been keeping up with Ben’s playing ever since he left, and now they’re discussing Holdo’s methods too. A deep grunt sounds from the door, and Ben looks up to see a very large, very hairy man leaning on the doorframe.

“Hi, Chewie.”

Another grunt.

“How’s it going?” Ben stands and holds out his hand, which Chewie uses to pull him into a hug that smells faintly of motor oil. Chewie still towers over Ben, and he rubs his knuckles into the top of Ben’s head, just like he did when Ben was a kid.

“Knock it off, Chewie,” Ben groans, dodging a swipe of his uncle’s huge hand.

Chewie grunts and mutters something that sounds like “dumbass kid” under his breath.

“That dumbass kid’s got a girlfriend,” Han supplies and grins at Ben, who promptly starts spluttering.

“Oh yeah?” Chewie says. “She cute?”

Ben bristles.

“She’s beautiful.”

“She also comes with three foster kids,” Han says.

Chewie gazes down at him, waiting to see what Ben has to say.

He shrugs.

“I don’t mind. They’re good kids. Had a hard time. Rey’s good for them.”

Han and Chewie share a knowing look.

“So when’s the wedding, kid?” Han asks, and Chewie lets out a barking laugh.

“Shut up, you miserable old busybodies.” Ben ducks his head, hopefully before they catch his burning cheeks and stupid grin.

“How you doin’, old man?” Chewie pulls some crushed flowers out of his back pocket and hands them to Han. 

Han snorts.

“Ready to bust the hell outta here,” Han growls.

“Got the Falcon fixed up and ready to go when you do,” Chewie says.

“How has that piece of junk not been sent to the junkyard yet?” Ben asks, only half-joking.

Han and Chewie both gasp, affronted. 

“I bet you’re still driving those new, flashy piece-of-shit, space-ship-looking cars, aren’t you?”

“Hell, yes, I am. At least the floorboards don’t fall out whenever I hit a speed bump.”

It feels so familiar and…and…normal…the joking and ribbing about cars. Ben feels his chest squeeze, and he looks over at Han, who’s grinning at him with shining eyes.

~~~

Inevitably, Ben winds up back at Rey’s. He went home and packed a bag in case she asks him to stay again, and he really hopes she does. It’s been amazing, waking up to her. As an adult, the nightmares haven’t been the same as they were when he was a kid: all violence and danger, the sort of things kids are afraid of. As an adult, his nightmares are different: shadows and darkness and emptiness.

But Rey keeps them at bay.

He hopes he’s helping her too. 

He’s heard her talk in her sleep. Nothing coherent, just the occasional word, “no” accompanied by tossing and turning. When that had happened, he’d pulled her back against his chest, and she’d sighed and relaxed. 

So, he hopes she lets him stay again, for both their sakes.

When he pulls up, Rey and Rose and Kaydel and all the kids are out on the front lawn, and Finn’s car is out front, too. Oh, right, she’d mentioned something about everyone coming over when she’d texted him earlier to tell him to come over.

As soon as he exits his car, he’s mobbed by small children trying to climb his legs. Unsurprisingly, Jaina uses the other kids as a ladder, and he scoops her up and puts her on his shoulders. He feels her little arms resting on top of his head as he walks them over to where the other adults are clustered around a grill, trailing small children in his wake. Rey doesn’t see him at first, and he enjoys watching her while she gestures animatedly to Rose, waving her beer bottle around excitedly. He places a finger over his lips to Rose and Kaydel, who see him coming up behind Rey and share a look.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he whispers in her ear as he wraps his arms around her from behind. She jumnps and laughs and squirms to try to turn around, but Jaina wraps her arms around both his and Rey’s heads, squishing their cheeks together and laughing like the tiny tyrant she is.

Finn appears and takes pity on their predicament, and reaches up to take Jaina down from Ben’s shoulders. Rey turns and kisses him, resulting in catcalls from Rose and Kaydel.

“Ladies,” he says when Rey releases him.

“Sasquatch,” Rose says, and Kaydel just cackles maniacally and hands him a beer.

Ben sees Jacen hanging between the groups of older and younger kids, and he presses a kiss to Rey’s temple before walking over to join him.

“Hey, kid.” Jacen holds out a fist and they bump knuckles. Jacen grins.

“So are you gonna get to play in the series this week?”Jacen asks. 

Ben sees that the kid is rolling a ball in the fingers of one hand, in a nervous tic he’s very familiar with.

“Probably. The bruise is ugly, but it’s just a bruise. I’ve played through worse.”

Jacen scowls at that.

“Why did you let him treat you like that?” he looks sadly up at Ben.

And it breaks Ben. He has to really think about his answer before he gives it, and what he comes up with breaks him a bit, too. 

“Honestly, kid, it’s because I thought I deserved it.” Ben throws an arm over the kid’s shoulders. “But nobody deserves that.” 

And as soon as he’s said it, he knows it’s true. A weight he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying falls from his shoulders.

Jacen scrapes the toe of his shoe in the grass but doesn’t speak.

“Come on, kid, let’s get Finn to play catch.” 

Finn and Kaydel join in the game, and Kaydel surprises Ben with her deadly, precise aim. Rey plays with the kids, blowing bubbles for them while Rose flips burgers and hotdogs on the grill. When he catches Rey watching him, he flexes his chest and arms a little more than necessary to make her laugh and watch her eyes go large, and he laughs when she scrunches her nose and sticks her tongue out at him. 

And it feels so…normal. Or at least what Ben thinks normal is. It’s like a movie with a big happy family because the Organa-Solos certainly never would have had such a mundane party. And it’s not really even a party, it’s just a family night for all of them.

And fuck if that’s not exactly what he wants.


	15. Make Me a Believer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domestic fluff, text flirting, minor freakout by Rey, minor freakout by Leia, baseball, rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skyeryder01 is our real mvp for betaing and reminding me not to get distracted.

Rey has decided that she loves waking up to Ben. She’s dated before, sure, but never anything that led to multiple sleepovers. Or any sleepovers, really. But sleeping with Ben is comforting in a way that she didn’t know existed. Something about a large, warm body next to hers is intoxicating. Rey doesn’t even feel the need to sneak out of bed to brush her teeth like she’s heard from other people, like Finn. 

When she wakes up, she and Ben are parallel, facing each other. A lock of his long hair falls over his eyes, and Rey brushes it away before pressing her face into his chest. A heavy arm and leg fall over her, pulling her closer, and he mumbles something against her hair. Rey wriggles back a little, but his arm holds her in place, and she feels his erection pressed against her belly. He stops her before she can rub against him more.

“Woman,” he growls sleepily, “if you don’t stop that, you’re not leaving this bed for the rest of the day. And I don’t think  _ they’ll _ be too happy about that.” 

As if on cue, her door creaks open and Alema and Jaina enter.

“Ben! Ben! Can you make us more breakfast spaghetti?” They sing at him, bouncing the edge of the bed. 

“You gotta feed them on time, or things get dicey,” Rey says, smiling as he groans into her hair.

“I don’t wanna,” he groans.

“You created monsters,” she laughs. “Come on girls, let’s see what we can come up with.”

When Ben emerges, fully awake and showered, hair still dripping onto his shirt, Rey is reminded of their last shower together and almost purrs at the memory of his tongue on her.

“Morning,” he says, brushing his lips over hers with a grin before lightly flicking his tongue out and walking away. He knows  _ exactly _ what she’s thinking and he is  _ teasing _ her, goddamnit. And now that she’s looking, she sees that his shirt is tighter than normal, and there’s  _ no way _ that much flexing is required to pour coffee. 

He’s fucking with her.

Two can play that game.

“You good for a few minutes? I need to go get dressed.” 

“Hmm? Yeah, go ahead.” He’s distracted; Jaina and Alema have latched onto his arm, trying to pull him to the stove to cook for them. 

Rey takes the fastest shower of her life, throwing her hair up into a bun because she doesn’t have time to wash it. She chooses her white shorts, knowing they set off her tanned legs, and a soft black tee that’s loose enough to hang off one shoulder and gap open if she leans  _ just so. _ And she conveniently forgets to put a bra underneath. 

Now, when she emerges, she makes sure to really stretch to reach the milk in the refrigerator and to stay doubled over a little longer than necessary when searching through the bottom drawer, for what she doesn’t know, but she knows it worked because there’s a crash and a loud curse from Ben’s direction. Smirking, she saunters over to him and bumps him with a hip to move him away from the sink so she can unnecessarily wash her hands, then she leans past him to grab a towel and his breathing hitches.

“Rey,” he growls quietly in her ear, drawing out her name, “if you don’t stop, the first time I fuck you will not be what I had planned and it’ll just be me bending you over your bed like a caveman. And you don’t want that, do you?” 

She does. She really fucking does.

Wait. She spins around to face him.

“You have plans?” she asks.

“Rose petals and candles and wine and shit.”

“Ben?” She hooks her fingers in his pockets and pulls him forward.

“Hmm?” His eyes are dark from where he towers over her.

She puts her face against his neck, tracing her tongue over a vein, and cants her hips into him.

“You owe the swear jar. Double.” Then she laughs and ducks under his arms and runs away.

Eventually, they’ve both calmed down enough for Ben to convince the kids that he will make breakfast spaghetti for them next time, and they all sit down for quick bowls of cereal. 

“So, the new series starts tomorrow. Do you want my tickets for the game?” Ben asks, dumping more Lucky Charms into his bowl. 

“Yes!” Jacen yells before Rey can answer.

“Do you want us to come?” she asks, poking her spoon into the dregs of her cereal.

“I always want you to come, Rey.” Ben’s voice drops an octave and she can feel her cheeks go pink. He chuckles darkly. “I mean, of course, I’d like for you to be there.”

She looks up at him, and his cheeks have reddened, too, but he winks at her.

“Girls?” Rey asks, dragging her eyes away before she throws herself across the table at him.

Jaina looks between them for a moment.

“Can I get a Icee pop?” she asks.

“Sure,” Rey answers.

“Okay. Let’s go to baseball,” the little tyrant says. Alema nods in agreement.

~~~

Rey and the kids are at the park; the little girls are burying their feet in the sandbox while Jacen looks fairly content sitting at a picnic table with a book. Her phone vibrates.

_ Rey, I’m not sure how, but Holdo conned me into telling her that you’ll be at the game.  _

_ And if Holdo knows, my mom knows. _

_ Which means she’ll probably be there too.  _

**OMG BENJAMIN is she gonna hang out with us? what do i do? what do i wear? she’s so fancy lol help meeee** 🙃

_ Rey.  _

_ Breathe. _

_ It’s just my mom. _

Just his mom, Rey thinks, scoffing at him. Just his mom. Right. Leia Organa had been so lovely and  _ fancy _ . And Rey is…not. She won’t fit in if this woman tries to talk to her.

Not to mention the fact that she’s never met the parents of a man she’s dated. Even if dated feels anticlimactic for what they are.

And now she’s spiraling.

**ben. i’ve never met the parents before, much less hung out with them. i don’t know what to do.**

_ She’s just a person, Rey. _

**SHE’S NOT JUST A PERSON BENJAMIN SHE IS YOUR MOTHER** **WHAT IF SHE HATES ME**

_ She won’t hate you. She’ll love you. If she hated you, you’d have known it immediately. _

**FREAKING OUT OVER HERE**

_ If you stop freaking out I’ll make you pizza this weekend… _

_ And… _

_ I’ll make you come, too. _

**HOMEMADE PIZZA?!?!** 😱

**if i lie and tell you i’m not freaking out will you do it anyway?**

_ Maybe… _

**mmkay** 😍

**deal** 😘

**how**

_ How what? _

**really benjamin?**

_ How what, Rey? _

**how will you make me come?**

_ Which time? _

And she has to put her phone down for a moment, or she’ll wind up being indecent at the park.

**BENJAMIN**

_ Rey. _

**if you were here, i’d climb you like a tree.**

_ Aren’t there kids around? _

**later then.**

_ I’ll hold you to that. _

The little girls have decided to move on to the swingset, so Rey has to stop texting for a while. When they get home, she texts him back.

**Ben?**

_ Yeah? _

**thanks. that helped. this is why i keep you around.**

_ You only want me because I cook and make you come? Thanks. _

**not just that! youre pretty too.** 😈

_ That’s encouraging. _

**(still freaking out)**

_ Why are you REALLY freaking out? _

She doesn’t want to tell him, because she knows it’s stupid, but it’s how she feels. It’s always been there, that tiny little nagging feeling. Of not belonging, of not being good enough. Particularly now, with him, especially after seeing his mother, who just happens to be a fucking heiress. And she knows it’s not Ben making her feel that way, it’s all her.

But it still stings, nonetheless.

Rey types and retypes her answer, knowing the three little dots disappearing and reappearing on Ben’s end must be driving him crazy.

**i don’t feel like i’m good enough.**

After a few minutes, her phone begins vibrating in her hands. When she answers, his voice is angry in a way she’s never heard it before.

“Rey. Don’t do that. Don’t talk down to yourself.”

Rey wonders what he’d look like, being all angry and protective.

“If anything,  _ you’re _ too good for  _ me. _ ”

“Don’t you start,” she snaps. “Nobody’s too good for anybody. That’s just stupid.”

“It is, isn’t it?” He still sounds a little mad, but she also hears enough in his tone to know that that was his intent.

“Don’t you mind-trick me, you…you mind-tricker.” And she sighs at the poor insult.

He chuckles in her ear.

“Seriously, Rey. Don’t ever feel like you’re not good enough. It’s how I’ve felt all my life until…” he stops.

And she really needs to hear him say it. 

“Until…?” she presses.

“Until you,” he says simply.

And her eyes burn with unshed tears.

“Thank you,” she says, “for that. Do I still get pizza and orgasms?” 

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” 

Gods, she loves that.

“Sorry I’m-“ 

But he stops her.

“Don’t do that either,” he says. “I get it. But I’ve got to go. I’m hiding in the bathroom, and we’re supposed to be meditating or some shit. Holdo is…something.” 

“Okay. Think about me while you meditate.”

“I was.”

Rey does panic a little when she realizes that she, once again, has nothing to wear. So when she and the kids get home, she invites the girls over for another movie-makeover montage. They come over armed with stacks of clothes for her to try and give the kids rights to the tv and Wii controllers, with the teens in charge.

“What do you even wear to meet someone’s mom at a  _ baseball game? _ ” Rey groans over her wine glass.

Rose and Kaydel practically ignore her as they hold up various bits and pieces of clothing in front of her. 

“It’s not like you haven’t met her,” Rose points out helpfully.

“That didn’t count,” Kay counters, holding a pencil skirt up to Rey’s waist. “Nobody went into it planning to meet anybody else.” 

~~~

Leia’s over-full glass of wine nearly sloshes over the rim as she leans too far forward in her walk-in closet, looking for the  _ right _ shoes. She likes to build an outfit from the shoes up. 

“You’re overthinking it, your worshipfulness,” Han quips over FaceTime. 

“What do  _ you _ know about clothes?” 

“I know that it doesn’t matter what you wear to a baseball game,” Han says as he spoons jello into his mouth. Chewie grunts in agreement from somewhere out of frame.

“But she’s dating our son! And they seemed serious!” She takes a large gulp of wine. To stop it from spilling, she tells herself.

“I still don’t get it,” Han says, eating more jello. He seems to have his nurses wrapped around his finger, and somehow he always winds up with extra treats.

“Of course you don’t, you scruffy-looking, overgrown nerf-herder.”

“Hey!” Han says in mock outrage. “Who’s scruffy-lookin’?”

Leia smiles at him fondly through the phone.

“Okay, I’m going to go now, to figure out what to wear  _ without _ help from the peanut gallery. Bye, Chewie. Han,” she says. “I love you,” she says, softly, looking at his face in the tiny screen. 

“I know,” he says and winks before disconnecting.

Heading back into her closet, Leia searches desperately for a pair of plain white sneakers she’d bought on a whim, when she’d gotten an email from some shoe store she didn’t remember giving permission to email her. Eventually, she finds them, still in the box, and when she takes it down and opens it, the scent of the rubber and crips white of the canvas brings back memories of younger days. Of baseball and tangling with Han after his games when he was still shower-damp and smelling faintly of that awful, cheap aftershave he used to wear.

Yes, the shoes would do nicely.

Leia decides on a pair of jeans she’d forgotten she owned, and a red silk tee that she hopes is close enough to First Order red to pass. 

It is rare for Leia Organa to actually attend the games of the teams she owns. When Han still played, she went often enough, but it had been years since she’d attended a game without sitting in a private box. But, for now, at least, Leia wants to attend the game and be a spectator, to watch her son play in a game and get to know his girlfriend. 

She laughs a bit at the word. Girlfriend is too light a word for the way Ben looked at Rey. But they’re young and it’s still new, so Leia resigns herself not to meddle and pry…

Too much.

~~~

This time, Rey doesn’t let Kaydel and Rose attack her with makeup and hair products, citing heat and humidity and little kids as her excuse, but really, she just doesn’t want to sit through their ministrations again. 

And as fancy as Leia is, Rey would much rather feel like herself than some fake, made-up version that doesn’t exist. 

She does, however, make sure to bring extra t-shirts and lots of wipes for the kids, just in case. They’re adorable, but they’re still messy and she’d prefer not to let Leia get the impression that she allows them to just be messes all the time. Even if she does sometimes; they’re still kids.

Finally, they arrive, having foregone the pre-game warmup, much to Jacen’s irritation. But Rey didn’t think the girls would last through the warm-up  _ and _ the game. They’re led to their seats by a nice older man with high-waisted khaki shorts and high white socks. Rey instantly wants to hug him, but refrains, although the little girls tell him they like his socks. When the man, whose name tag says Lor San Tekka, pronounces that they have arrived at their seats, they’re greeted by Leia, who still manages to look quite regal in jeans and an expensive-looking red tee. 

“Hi,” Rey says, feeling shy.

Leia seems almost as uncomfortable as Rey; her hand is trembling a bit when they shake. 

Jacen has somehow unearthed a pair of very old binoculars, and despite the fact that they’re on the front row directly behind home plate, he has them trained on the players. 

Leia nudges Rey with her elbow. 

“Ben was  _ just _ like that when he was that age. He lived and breathed baseball. He’d bring his program to every game and write down every single hit and pitch.” 

Rey catches Jacen listening, but he doesn’t look their way.

Leia’s words put visions of a younger Ben in her head, and she prays that she has the opportunity to see baby pictures, because how cute would baby Ben’s big ears be?

“Jacen only recently discovered baseball, but he’s already so into it. I’m going to look into the rec center teams for him for next season,” Rey says.

Jacen beams at her from his seat.

Jaina, feeling left out of the conversation, scoots over by Leia, blue Icee pop in hand.

“Princess Weia?” she says.

Leia looks slightly bewildered to be addressed so, but she takes it in stride.

“Yes, Jaina?”

“Are you Ben’s mommy?” 

“Yes, I am.” She looks a little sad, though.

“Okay.” Jaina nods and sits back in her seat until the National Anthem of the Republic starts to play. 

Jacen hoists Jaina up, and Rey lets Alema use the seat to climb up on her shoulders so she can be up higher to see the JumboTron where the camera pans over the players. Ben’s face looks significantly less solemn than the last time she’d seen him on the enormous screen; this time she can tell that he’s actually singing, and she wonders what his singing voice is like. Maybe she can convince him to sing for her someday.

When the game is finally underway, Leia and Rey are chatting about books and tv, finding they have similar tastes in crime dramas and trash tv, which Rey would  _ never _ have guessed about the stoic older woman.

“Oh, I just love it!” she says, talking about Rey’s favorite show. “Those people make some of the worst decisions, and it reminds me that I’m not the only one who-.” She stops talking abruptly.

“I think everyone makes bad decisions,” Rey says gently, but not weakly. 

“Tell me about yourself,” Leia says, but Jacen interrupts. 

“Shush, Ben’s about to bat!”

“Jacen,” Rey warns, but Leia stops her.

“It’s alright. I know he didn’t mean anything by it."

So they pause for a moment, watching Ben, and Rey spends a moment appreciating the curve of his ass in those tight white pants.

To say nothing of his broad shoulders. And she can  _ just _ make out his jaw working as he chews, and then puckers his lips slightly to snap the gum between his teeth.

And she lets out a little sigh thinking about his lips and wishes his jersey were tighter so she could see the ripple of his back muscles as he swung the bat for a foul.

But at least she can see the swivel of his hips, and she gets a very intense visual of him swiveling those hips into  _ her _ and she sighs again, with a tinge of a moan thrown in.

Rey nearly chokes on her tongue when she sees Leia giving her a knowing smile.

“I remember the early days,” she says, raising one eyebrow. “Han in those pants…well… you know.” 

Rey lets out a little squeak at being caught ogling Ben’s ass by his  _ mother _ .

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Leia says. “I know exactly how you feel. Han and I were crazy in our younger days. Did you know that we- well you wouldn’t because we never told Ben. But remind me one day to tell you all about why you should never use stadium seats for,” and she pauses to peer at the kids, “ah, adult activities.” 

If Rey had been drinking, she would have sprayed it halfway across the field. As it is, she gapes at Leia, before breaking into a cackling laugh.

“I think we are going to be  _ good _ friends,” she says, still laughing and clutching her stomach. 

Leia grins at her.

“Oh, Rey, I hope so.” 

~~~

Inside the dugout, Ben has to strongly resist the urge to poke his head over the top of the dugout, to see if he can casually observe Rey and Leia together. Instead, he resorts to pacing in a very tight line behind a rack of unused gear.

“Ben- ah- Kylo,” Holdo says, “You’re up.”

Shit, he hadn’t noticed it was his at-bat. Quickly, he jams his helmet on and grabs the bat that Phas hands him on his way out of the dugout. He tries to catch a glimpse of Rey and Leia, since they should be right behind home plate, but he took too long and the umpire is glaring him down. So he loosens up and steps up to the plate. After a couple fouls, he hits one down the center, far enough to get whichever teammate was at third, home. He’s a little embarrassed by the fact that he has no idea who was on third, but they scored, so it doesn’t  _ really _ matter. Ben knows he shouldn’t try to watch Rey and the kids with Leia, but he wants to know just how badly their night is going.

So he is extremely surprised to see Rey and Leia, each with a little girl on their lap, apparently deep in conversation as the girls devour cotton candy. Jacen has binoculars trained in his direction, and he gives the kid a sharp nod, just like Han used to do when he was a kid. 

Off to the side, Holdo comes out of the dugout to trade places with the third-base coach, and she starts making hand gestures at him.

Ben has to think quickly to process them since it’s been so long since he’d used those hand signals. Snoke had just stood on the sidelines and screamed and cursed. Holdo takes a different approach, her hands flashing in front of her, with every other gesture being meaningless gibberish. But he gets the gist,  _ get your head back in the game,  _ and something else he can’t quite place. He nods, then readjusts his hat, watching the pitcher.

He sees his in and knows now what Holdo meant. 

He can steal second. 

Slowly, and crouching lightly so his large frame draws less attention, Ben starts edging as far he can while remaining on first. When the pitcher sets his back foot on the rubber, Ben’s fingers twitch and he takes off making it two-thirds of the way to second before the other team is even aware of his movement. He’s safe on second. The crowd on the home side goes nuts. Out of the corner of his eye, Ben can see Jacen jumping up and down and screaming, but he resolves not to let himself get distracted by Rey again.

Holdo frowns a bit but doesn’t make her gestures at him. Phas bats a grounder that gets her to first, and Ben makes it to third. And Finn is up after her. 

The opposing catcher calls a timeout and goes up to the mound to talk with his pitcher. Holdo comes closer to third.

“What the hell, Solo?”

“What?” Ben is bewildered.

“You stole second!”

“Yeah?”

“Why?!” Hold’s light eyes are nearly bugging out of her head.

“You told me to?” He’s really confused.

“I was telling you not to pull your obliques after that bruise,” she said, rolling her eyes at him. “You were favoring it a bit while you were running.”

Ben gapes at her.

“You didn’t want me to…steal second.”

“Nope. I guess we need to relearn some hand signals, huh?” Holdo lifts her hat to rearrange her violet hair and sighs.

“Snoke didn’t use them.”

“Gods, I hate that man,” she snaps. “Sorry, I shouldn’t say that.” 

“It’s okay,” Ben says, watching the other team’s catcher stalking back behind the plate. “We all do.”

“And Ben?” She turns toward him and drops her voice. “Steal home if you can.” She grins at him before walking back to her usual spot.

So Ben watches and waits. And he sees his chance.

And when he steals home, Ben finally takes the opportunity to glance up at them…his family. Rey and Jacen are jumping up and down together, waving at him, and the little girls are holding Leia’s hands and doing a silly little dance with her. They’re all grinning like fiends and screaming at him as his teammates crowd around him.

It’s the top of the sixth, and Ben feels a few drops splatter over his forearms where he’s leaning forward with his hands braced on his thighs, watching and waiting as Finn signals Poe from where’s squatting behind home. Rain is fairly uncommon, this time of year, and Ben squints past the stadium lights into the now dark, cloudy sky. 

And it’s like the sky splits open with rain. A torrential downpour comes out of nowhere, and all the players from both teams race back to their dugouts, even though they’re all already soaked. Ben jogs in from center and gratefully accepts the towel that a batboy hands him. It does nothing to dry his soaked uniform, but it at least cleans his face. 

“Freak rainstorm, huh,” Finn says, Captain Obvious as always. 

Poe comes up and slings an arm around Finn. 

“It’s kinda fun, though, right? Makes me feel like a kid, playing in the rain.”

Ben doesn’t particularly care for it, though he lets the two have their fun. They’re both leaning against the railing, shoulders touching, sticking their hands out to catch drops from the overhang. 

After a few minutes, music starts playing over the speakers, and the camera starts panning over the seats, looking for fans entertaining themselves to wait out the rain. 

Hux’s voice interrupts the music, telling the fans that the local weatherman  _ himself _ has assured him that the rain should be over and the game can resume in about half an hour, and then the music resumes. Applause bursts out, and on the screen, Ben can see that the fans are getting more into the music now that there’s hope for the game. 

It’s a tied game, so it would have been shitty to have a rain-out.

In front of him, Poe’s dancing to the music, and Finn is spinning Phas around. Poe does a stupid little twist over to Holdo and grabs her hand to lead her over to join them. More of their teammates join, and Phas and Finn swish over to Ben who reluctantly lets them drag him into their dancing. And then, the whole team, coaches and teenage managers and all, are dancing in a knot while they wait out the rain. 

When that song is over, Ben sits down, because he really isn’t one for dancing. Holdo sits the next song out, too. So he sits and watches the JumboTron, waiting for a glimpse of Rey. 

And as it always does, someone in the tech department decides it’s time for a KissCam. The camera pans over couples, many of whom put on a big show for the camera. A little twinge of jealousy hits him, since he’d like to be kissing Rey now.

It’s like his thought of her summoned her to the screen. She’s dancing in the rain in the unprotected area of the very front row of seats behind home. She’s soaked through, but she’s singing and dancing and laughing while she twirls in the rain. Ben guesses she sees herself on the screen, because she mouths ‘Hi, Ben’ while waving and then puckers her lips to blow a kiss to the camera. 

“That your girl?” Holdo asks from where she’s seated beside him. 

“Yeah, that’s Rey.” He can’t take his eyes off the screen, where the camera is lingering on her. A few others have joined her, dancing around her. Ben watches while she holds Jaina and Alema’s hands and spins them around in circles.

“Go get her.” 

Ben, sure he’s misheard, glances over at Holdo, who makes shooing motions at him. 

“Go on. We’ll still be here for a while yet.”

“Thank you?” he says, and then he’s out of the dugout and vaulting himself up onto its flat roof. And there she is in all her rain-soaked glory. The last strains of the song she was dancing to float away and a new one starts, slower, with a stronger beat. Her hips sway, rocking into the beat, and he crosses the final few steps and she sees him just before he crashes into her. 

~~~

Rey sees a soaking wet Ben Solo barreling toward her about half a second before she can feel the warmth of his body through his wet uniform. His lips press into hers, and she feels like he might devour her in front of the stadium, and oh gods, his mother. But she finds that she doesn’t care as he picks her up and spins her, while somehow still managing to keep their mouths tangled together. Rey laughs against his skin as he finally lowers her to catcalls and hollers from the baseball fans surrounding them. She hides her face against his chest, reveling in his warmth as she realizes that video of them is now playing on the enormous screen beyond the outfield.

“Hi,” she squeaks, her voice muffled against his chest. 

She can still taste his peppermint gum on her lips, and her heart feels like it might beat out of her chest.

But she can feel his heart hammering beneath her fingertips, too.

“Hi,” he whispers back. “Sorry, I just saw you on the screen and Holdo told me to go, so…here I am.”

“I’m glad you came out.” She grins up at him. “How inappropriate would it be if I grabbed your ass in front of all these nice people?”

“Very, very inappropriate.” He lowers his forehead to rest on hers. “But I’ll wear them for you later. You can grab whatever you want.” She can feel his grin as he presses his lips back to hers. 

“Promise?” she asks, swinging her hips against his in time with the music and grinning wickedly up at him. 

“Anything for you, sweetheart,” he says.

He stays until the rain stops, going to where Leia has moved back a few rows to avoid the rain. She and Jacen are deep in conversation, so they only notice Rey and the girls and Ben when they’ve all sat down. 

Leia looks at him, a little confused.

“Hi, Mom,” he grins at her. It feels easier to talk to her, to be her son, with Rey’s fingers twined with his.

“Hi, Ben.” She blinks at him.

“Holdo sent me out,” he explains.

“Right. Well, I was telling Jacen about the press box, and how I’d like to invite you all to join Han and me when he’s out of the hospital, I mean. Well, not you, Ben, obviously.” 

Leia Organa is _babbling_.

Ben cocks an eyebrow at his mother.

“Sure, Leia, we’d love to!” And Rey leans forward and wraps his mom in an enormous, damp, hug.

Leia’s eyes meet Ben’s over Rey’s shoulder, and he wonders what, exactly, he was worried about in the first place. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The music Hux played over the speakers was by Imagine Dragons. The song the whole team danced to was Thunder, and the slower song Rey danced to when Ben snuck up on her was Believer, which I feel is a good Ben song, hence the title. Also, I just like the beat.
> 
> Go listen to the whole song, but I like this part a lot:
> 
> I was broken from a young age  
> Taking my sulking to the masses  
> Writing my poems for the few  
> That look at me, took to me, shook to me, feeling me  
> Singing from heartache from the pain  
> Taking my message from the veins  
> Speaking my lesson from the brain  
> Seeing the beauty through the...  
> Pain!  
> You made me a, you made me a believer, believer...


	16. Wine and Flower Petals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to skyeryder01 for reading this and reminding me of the nature of the flirting between these two lovable space idiots.
> 
> I waved my magic writer wand and declare that these two have had the birth control/ no STI conversation in a previous conversation because I just don't wanna write that. HOWEVER. Practice safe sex folx.

Ben bribes Finn to help Rose babysit the kids so he and Rey can have an overnight date. Finn is easy to bribe; all it takes is Poe’s number because somehow, bright, gregarious Finn is too shy or too besotted to ask for it. And if Ben drops a little hint to Poe, well, that can’t hurt, right? If it helps his friends feel the way he feels about Rey, then he will absolutely help them along. The First Order had won the three-game series, and somehow they magically have an entire weekend before the next away set, so he intends to take full advantage of it, and he hopes his friends do too.

As for the date itself, Ben is at a loss, other than the pizza and orgasms he promised her. Half an hour before he’s supposed to pick her up, he makes a liquor store run to stock up on anything and everything he thinks she might possibly ever want. He even stops at an outdoor flower stand, since he jokingly promised her flower petals. Anticipation ends up being too much for him, so instead of going home to chill the liquor, he goes straight to Rey’s. 

Finn’s car is parked out front already, but Ben is kind of early, so he’s not really surprised when Finn opens the door silently, gesturing over his shoulder at the shrieking laughter and loud music coming from the direction of Rey’s room.

“Dude,” Finn says when Ben heads in that direction after kissing the little girls on their heads and bumping knuckles with Jacen, “you do  _ not _ want to go back there. They threatened me with a curling iron.”

Ben chuckles and hoists the girls up on his shoulders, deciding to brave the chaos.

“Actually,” Finn says, following Ben but hiding behind him, “you might have to rescue Rey. There’s no telling what kind of torture they’ve inflicted on the poor girl.” 

“Oh no!” Ben says in a mockingly serious voice. “Can we rescue Princess Rey?” He jostles the giggling little girls on his shoulders before bumping his knee against Rey’s door in a semblance of a knock.

More shrieking ensues from behind the door. Kaydel’s blonde head pokes out.

“You’re here early!! Go away!” 

Ben tries to peer past her, but can’t see past the cloud of what he assumes is hairspray and steam from the shower.

“Save me, Ben! You’re my only hope!” Rey’s laughing voice comes from somewhere amidst the cloud.

“Hold on, kids, we’re going in.” 

Ben pushes the door all the way in and chokes on the fumes.

Rey sits in front of a tall mirror propped against the wall, with Rose hovering around her holding a handful of brushes. She waves and mimes choking but laughs when Rose swats at her hand and yells at her to be still.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re rudely large, Sasquatch?” Rose yells from somewhere near his sternum. “Now scram. We’ll be done soon.”

Ben gapes at Rey, who just shrugs, so he does as he’s told and escapes backward out of the room.

If a half-hour is  _ soon _ , then they’re done soon.

Rey emerges out into the sunlight where Ben and Finn are outside playing with the kids, and she looks beautiful as always, but since he fears the giant wrath of tiny Rose, he refrains from telling her that they’re late. 

“Hi,” Rey says, almost shyly, and Ben tries to ignore the rush of blood that leaves his brain when she blushes and dimples up at him.

The light-blue dress she wears wraps closely around her upper body before flaring out from her waist and hitting half-way down her golden thighs. The v-shaped neckline crosses over and moves when she moves, and Ben has to grit his teeth to keep his jaw from going slack when he realizes that a ribbon tied in a bow around her waist is the  _ only _ thing holding the dress together.

Rose gives him a knowing grin.

“Like what you see, Benny-boy?” Kaydel elbows him in the ribs, and all he can say is

“Ow.”

Rey laughs at him, and her dimples grow deeper, and the sunlight picks out the green in her hazel eyes as she stares up at him.

“Jesus, you two, get a room,” Rose says, then laughs at her own joke. “I guess that’s the plan, huh.” 

“Shut up, Rose,” Rey hisses before kneeling down to hug and kiss the girls. The blue dress splits over her thigh, nearly splitting to her hip, and Ben has to remind himself how to breathe. She hugs Jacen as Ben says his own goodbyes to the girls, and they won’t let him go until he promises to cook for them when he stays over the next time.

Ben gives Jacen and Finn the universal dude half-hug, then takes Rey’s overnight bag to throw it into the back of the Silencer after he opens her door. Once he’s in the car, he rolls down the windows so she can wave as they drive away.

It feels like parents sending the kids off to prom, and he tells Rey as much. She grins at him.

“I have a feeling you hated prom,” she says.

“I didn’t even go.” 

“Oh, how sad. Why not?” she asks, peering up at him after sliding on large sunglasses.

Ben shrugs.

“Never had anyone I wanted to go with.”

She puts her hand over his where it rests on the shifter.

“Too bad. I would have loved to see pictures of baby Ben in a tux.” 

He snorts at her but grins.

“I had the worst haircut at eighteen, and I was too skinny and all ears.” He scowls a bit at the memory.

“I  _ like _ your ears,” she pouts at him. “What would I have to do to get you in a tux  _ now _ ?”

“Aren’t you a little old for prom?” 

“Isn’t there, like, a…baseball prom?” 

Ben scoffs. 

“Yes, but I’ve never been.”

Rey gapes.

“There’s actually a baseball prom?”

He laughs, flipping his hand over on the shifter to thread her fingers through his.

“It’s not a prom, it’s a formal party after the season’s over, given by the owners…which,” he pauses, “would now be Skywalker. So my mom is throwing a party for the teams she owns. Great,” he groans.

“Oh, well if you don’t wanna go…” 

Shit, she wants to go?

“Do you  _ want _ to go to a party like that?” he asks. 

“Well, I  _ would _ like to see you in a tux,” she simpers at him. 

“If I just wear a tux can we skip the party?” he tries to keep his tone light.

“Oh come on, don’t you think it’ll be fun?”

“A party, thrown by my mother, for all of the teams she owns? No, I don’t.”

Her face crumples a bit before he realizes that she really  _ did _ want to go.

“Maybe I can go with Finn, if you don’t want to go,” she says in a small voice as she looks out the window so he can’t see her face. 

“Shit, Rey, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that you actually wanted to go.” He pauses. “ Wanna go to the party with me?” he says in his best apologetic voice and raises their hands so he can brush his lips over her knuckles.

“Will there be food?” She still won’t look at him, but she shivers at the touch of his lips against her fingers.

“Of course,” he says.

“Hmm,” she hums, peeking at him out of the corner of her eye.

“ _ Fancy _ food. Leia Organa is known for her excelent taste in hors d’oeuvres.”

She sighs.

“Will you dance with me?” 

He doesn’t answer until they reach a stoplight so he can look at her.

“Do you want me to?”

She nods almost bashfully.

“Then I will dance with you.”

And her grin is big enough to know that she was messing with him the whole time.

“Good. And I’ll find a dress just this side of scandalous. Deal?”

“S-scandalous?” 

“Mhmm,” and she flutters her lashes at him.

“And what does that mean?” 

“It usually means no underwear.” 

Ben gulps at the thought of dancing with Rey in a dress that requires no underwear. His body temperature skyrockets, and he’s extremely grateful that they’ve reached their destination.

“This is an interesting location for a date,” Rey says peering out the window at the sign for the specialty grocery store.

“I thought you’d like to pick out your own pizza toppings,” he says, grinning at her.

“And you are absolutely right! Let’s go!”

And even though it’s a little unconventional, it’s probably the most fun he’s had with her with their clothes on. He has basic ingredients for pizza crust dough: flour, salt, and yeast, but they wander through the aisles, choosing various items to adorn what Ben estimates will be about ten large pizzas, if they make them all at once. Rey, naturally, tries every sample and loudly proclaims her love for each one, except for the very smelliest of cheeses. They buy enough different cheeses and meat options for an army, and enough desserts for twice that. 

The whole time they wander about the store, he can barely keep his hands off her, fingers itching to untie the ribbon to discover what’s underneath. Instead, he limits himself to holding her close to his side as he pushes the cart haphazardly with one hand. She sneaks an extra box of lucky charms when he’s not looking, and he pretends not to notice, and she pretends to not notice his pretending. Every few aisles, Rey will slide her hand in his back pocket and lightly dig her nails in while keeping a straight face and pointing out something silly, and it’s all Ben can do not to throw her over his shoulder and run straight home.

When they’re done and back in his garage, he begins unloading groceries, and she comes around behind the car to help him. She eyes the amount of liquor he purchased earlier.

“Fuck. Are we having a party?” She hefts two of the larger bottles up by the necks. 

“Well, I wanted to be prepared,” he replies nervously. “I wasn’t sure what you would want.”

She grins at him.

“Maybe we can have our own party,” she says.

_ Please, gods, _ he thinks.

Rey doesn’t speak again until they’re in his apartment. She’s barefoot and perched beside him on the counter again, glass of wine in hand, occasionally adding flour or water to his dough as needed.

“Ben?” Rey says, then takes a large gulp of wine, swinging her legs where they dangle over the edge of the counter.

“Yeah?” He dabs the tip of her nose with flour.

“I’m kind of- I mean I don’t,” and then she groans and downs the rest of her wine in one go.

“What’s wrong?” He asks as he dumps the kneaded dough into an oiled bowl to rise. 

He’s washing the goo off his hands when she sighs deeply.

“The wine helps, I guess.”

“Helps what?” Ben goes to stand in front of Rey, wedging himself between her knees. With her on the counter, he’s eye level with her chest, and he is quickly losing the internal struggle to keep his hands to himself. So he compromises by placing his hands lightly on her hips. His hands nearly span her waist, and some primal part of him is pleased that he’s so much bigger than she is.

“I’m…I’m nervous, Ben,” she admits, a blush covering her chest.

He snaps his head up to meet her eyes. 

“Nervous? Why?” 

She’s so perfect for him, so good and so sweet. What does she possibly have to be nervous about?

Rey buries her face in her hands, and her answer is muffled.

“Long time…not much…sex…nervous.”

Ben strokes his thumbs along the bottom of her ribcage.

“We don’t have to, if-if you don’t want to.”

He might die, but if she’s nervous…

“I want to,” she says through her hands. “It’s just… you’re so  _ big _ .”

Oh.

_ OH. _

That primal, animal part of him preens at that, and he hopes he manages to stop the enormous grin that’s threatening to split his face.

“Rey.” He wraps his hands around her wrists and tugs gently until she lets him pull her hands from her face. “You’re worried because it’s been a while?” He moves her hands so that one is rested on his shoulder, and the other, he holds in his own and presses her palm to his lips. 

She nods.

“And you haven’t had a lot of…experience?” He kisses the soft skin of her wrist and slowly works his way up her forearm.

Her breath catches before she speaks.

“I’ve had  _ experience _ , just not a ton and not with… someone like you.”

Now his mouth is at her collarbone, and he just barely traces it with his tongue.

“Someone like me?” He nips the base of her throat and sucks a mark into her skin, smiling against her as she starts squirming beneath him.

“Ben,” she says. “Pay attention.”

“I am,” he says, working his mouth up her neck to the soft spot beneath her ear. He bites down lightly, and her back arches, thrusting her body flush against his.

Rey backs up a bit and places a hand on either side of his face, pushing him away from where he’s contentedly marking her neck with his teeth.

“Benjamin.”

His eyes meet hers and he can’t quite read the emotion that he sees there.

“What is it?” Now he’s worried. He racks his brain, trying, to figure out what he did wrong.

“I don’t,” she pauses and sighs. “I don’t know how to  _ be with _ someone like you. You’re so attentive and so good to me.” She looks down, away from him. “I don’t want to disappoint you,” she says in a very small voice.

How could she possibly believe that she’d disappoint him? Ben resolves to hunt down and hurt anyone who’s ever made her feel that way. 

“Rey,” he says, trying to keep the growl out of his voice. “You  _ can’t _ disappoint me.” He pauses. “Look at me.” She does, slowly. “I want you. Do you want me?”

She nods.

“And I care about you, Rey, a lot. Have I done anything halfway with you?” 

Rey shakes her head.

“I guess the real question is do you trust me to take care of you?”

Her thumbs graze over his cheekbones before she leans forward to rest her forehead against his.

“I do,” she whispers.

And that’s all he needs to hear. 

Ben scoops Rey off the counter and into a bridal carry. She’s still quiet, but she nestles her face against his chest as he carries her down the hallway before kicking open the door to his bedroom and placing her gently on the floor.

Her lips are soft and warm as he molds his to hers, and she softens beneath his touch. And then his words from earlier in the week come back to him.

“Shit! Rey!”

Rey leans back, cracking her eyes open and looking confused.

“What did I do?” 

“I forgot the fucking flowers!” 

“What?” she asks, confused.

“The flowers! I told you there’d be wine and flowers but I forgot to do the thing with the flower petals on the bed. Fuck. They’re still in the fucking kitchen!” Ben rakes his hands through his hair, berating himself for being so ready to see her that he’d completely forgotten his plans for romance.

Rey blinks up at him a few times, then turns around, shoulders shaking.

“Rey?” 

She turns back to face him, tears streaming down her face.

She is  _ laughing _ at him.

“Oh, gods, Ben. I don’t need flowers. I just want  _ you _ .” She wipes her eyes, then presses her body into his and reaches her face back up to his.

“Are you sure?” he asks. “I promised you flowers.”

“Later,” she says, her voice getting husky. “Don’t you think we’ve waited long enough?”

~~~

Rey is  _ ready _ , so she steps back from him, separating their bodies. She holds up a hand between them when he starts to follow her, and with her other hand, she unties the bow that holds her wrap dress together. Looking up at Ben’s face, she can tell that he’s stopped breathing. Somehow, the two pieces of the dress remain closed, despite being untied. So Rey reaches up to push the two pieces apart, but Ben’s hands stop her. He takes half a step closer, reaching between them. With agonizing slowness, Ben reaches beneath the fabric to slide his fingers up over her ribcage and chest to her shoulders, where he gently pushes the sleeves of the dress down, finally making it gap open over her body. Ben lets out the breath that Rey knew he hadn’t realized he was holding and pushed the dress the rest of the way down her arms. 

Standing before him in nothing but scraps of lace, Rey can finally bring herself to meet his eyes.

Her earlier reaction was silly, she knows that, and she feels every ounce of trepidation leave her body as Ben stares at her. The light-pink lace of the bra is barely there and does nothing to hide the darker pink of her nipples, and she can tell when Ben notices that they’re already pebbled and waiting for him to draw them into his mouth because his eyes go nearly black and never make it past the bra to the matching lace of her now-damp, barely-there panties.

“Ben?” 

“Mmm?” He’s pulling her closer to him and is in the process of lowering his mouth to hers.

“You remember the first time you slept over and you had too many clothes on?” 

His eyes are still on her tits as he murmurs his assent.

“Well. It’s happening again.”

Rey reaches between them to start unbuttoning his shirt, slowly exposing the exquisitely muscled planes of his chest. Once all the buttons are all undone, she mimics his earlier movement and pushes the sleeves all the way down his arms, enjoying the feel of hard muscle beneath her fingertips. Ben has remained surprisingly still, and when she looks up at him, he’s watching her like she’s prey about to be devoured. When she meets his eyes, her fingers trail down over the hard planes of his stomach and down to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his jeans. He groans as she pushes his jeans past his hips and quickly kicks them off.

And when they’re both staring at the other’s mostly-naked state, something between them snaps into place, and he pulls her to him, threading one hand into her hair and placing the other on the juncture of her neck and shoulder and just stares into her eyes. Rey feels both of their hearts pounding as she goes up on her toes, pressing her entire body against the hardness of him, and slanting her lips to fit his. The moment their lips touch, Ben goes into action. The hand at her neck grips tighter and he uses the hand in her hair to tug her tightly against him. His tongue flicks over the seam of her lips and she gladly opens to him. One of his thighs pushes between her legs, and she grinds against him. He makes a sound deep in his chest and moves his hands to reach around and unhook her bra, sliding the straps gently over her shoulders before dropping the lace to the floor.

Before she can make a quip about how easy that was for him, Ben has kissed his way down to a nipple and bites down harder than he has before, and all words leave her head as his tongue swirls over her now reddening skin to ease the slight pain. Then his other hand leaves her hair and trails down between her breasts before splaying out over her belly and dipping beneath the pink lace that barely hides her sex. 

He lets out a satisfied growl against her skin when he finds her completely smooth and wet for him. One finger slips between her folds and sinks into the wetness there and Rey nearly keens at how good he feels.

She gasps his name as he presses the pad of his thumb over her clit and slowly curls his finger inside her. Rey’s hips buck involuntarily as he moves his mouth to her previously neglected nipple and bites down like he did before. “More,” she pants, pushing against his hand.

He obliges, slowly pressing another finger into her, stretching her walls. Rey reaches between them to wrap a hand around him, slowly pumping her fist. Ben jerks involuntarily and crooks his fingers inside her. They each rock their hips into the other’s hands until Rey decides that she has had  _ enough _ .

“I need you. Now,” she says against his skin. Ben  _ growls _ and stalks forward until the backs of her thighs touch the softness of his bed, and she crashes down, bringing him with her. His body cages her in, and for a moment, the darkness of his eyes and his body towering over hers make her feel like prey about to be devoured, and oh, how she needs to be that for him. Slowly, with a final twist of his fingers inside her, Ben pulls both hands to her hips to draw the lace down over her hips, flinging the scrap of fabric behind him. Hooking her fingers into his boxers, Rey pulls the waistband down so she can really see him. And she purrs at the sight, at him looking down at her, chest heaving and pupils blown.

Hooking an arm beneath her knee, Ben slowly pulls her leg up until her leg is pressed into her chest, with his hand beside her head. She can feel him at her entrance, so she flexes her hips to brush her slick heat over him. The hand gripping her hip flexes, pushing her hips back down into the bed, and his eyes close as he leisurely rocks his hips to brush his head through her folds.

“Ben,” she pleads, needing him  _ now _ . “Tease me later, god _ damnit.”  _

_ “ _ Such a dirty mouth, Rey,” he says, pressing the tip of his cock into her. “Don’t you want me to take it slow?” He pushed another inch into her.

_ Not enough _ .

“I want you,” she says through gritted teeth, “to  _ fuck me.” _ Wrapping her free leg behind his hips, she uses it for leverage to pull herself up, impaling herself on his cock.

_ Gods above. _

The stretch is almost too much for her, and she’s so full she can’t  _ breathe _ . But her hips move of their own accord, and suddenly Ben is moving with her, thrusting so deeply inside her that a sound that is more animal than woman tears itself from her lips.

And they’re gasping together and it’s  _ so good so good just what I needed- _

When he stops. And pulls out.

“Stand up, Rey.” His voice comes out deep and husky and Rey finds herself scrambling to obey him. He stands too and walks around behind her, fingers brushing lightly up from her hips up to her nape and around to cup her breasts, thumbs flicking over her nipples. Then he moves one hand down to grip her hip.

“I said I wasn’t going to fuck you bent over the bed like a caveman,” his breath tickles her ear, and chills spread over her body at his words. “But I think you liked the idea, didn’t you?” 

Rey nods even as he’s shoving her upper body down so her tits are flattened on his black sheets, his hand pinned beneath her. Ben’s thick fingers find their way between them, spreading her folds before plunging back into her. They moan in unison when he bottoms out, his hips slamming into the globes of her ass. 

And then he’s fucking into her and it’s all she can do to keep from melting into the mattress. His hand beneath her finds a nipple and pinches, hard, and Rey’s eyes roll back as she feels the beginnings of her release start to crash through her like waves in a hurricane.

Rey growls his name when her walls start fluttering around his cock and he presses his chest to her back, rutting into her through the orgasm that  _ won’t stop coming _ . She goes limp when she feels Ben’s muscles seize against her back, and he shudders, spending himself inside her.

He collapses over her back, resting his weight on his arms, and brushes a kiss over the back of her neck.

“I really did plan for flowers and candles and shit,” he whispers. 

“You can make it up to me later,” she whispers back, turning her head so he can kiss her temple.

He gathers her up into his arms and gently turns her face up, then places her at the head of the bed. 

“Wait here,” he says. “I’ll be back with wine and snacks.”

Is it too soon to love him, she thinks, sighing happily as she watches his gorgeous backside disappear through the door. Contentedly, she falls back against the smooth coolness of his pillows, sated and smiling.

She must have fallen asleep, because when she jerks upright, Ben is nowhere to be seen, but two glasses of sparkling wine and a tray of fruit and cheese wait on the nightstand beside her. A faint sound of running water comes from behind a door she hadn’t noticed earlier, so she pads over to it and toes it open to find Ben leaning over an enormous jetted tub, dumping what looks to be an entire bottle of bubble bath in. Every flat surface in the room is covered with candles and flowers, and Rey takes it all in as she leans on the door frame. 

“Candles and flowers, huh?” she asks, smiling down at him.

Ben jerks upright, dropping the bottle in his startled haste to stand.

“Um. Yeah.” His stammering is adorable, especially after the way he just fucked her. “I mean, I promised.” He shrugs. 

“You’re an idiot, Solo,” she says walking over to him and wrapping her arms around him. “I only ever wanted you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely comments I've gotten. It's so wonderful to see people liking my silly baseball story.
> 
> [Rey's Dress](https://beetsweeti.com/products/lifetime-of-love-wrap-mini-dress-6-colors?variant=29571423535207)


	17. Pizza and Orgasms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date continues right where the last chapter left off. And another date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, thank you for sticking around so long between updates. The state of the world lately has made it particularly difficult to do anything particularly creative.
> 
> I hope this makes up for the wait.
> 
> Thank you to skyeryder01 for reading. 
> 
> The first pov break is a bit different, so if it's awkward and weird that's why. Trying something different, not sure if it worked. Let me know if you have thoughts!
> 
> Stay safe out there folx.

“Get in,” Ben orders. Rey looks at him, one eyebrow raised. “Please?” he amends.

“Only if you bring me the food,” she says coyly. 

“Deal.” He trails his fingers down her back and watches her shiver before stepping into the steaming water. She hisses a bit at the heat but moans once she’s settled down beneath the frothy layer of bubbles.

“Ben?” 

“Hmm?” He asks lazily, watching her lean back, resting her head on the lip of the white enamel.

“Snacks.” She makes shooing motions with her hands.

This woman and her food. He chuckles and retrieves the tray and returns to place it within reach on a small folding table that he places beside the tub. 

“This thing is amazing, but why do you have it?” Rey has submerged herself up to her chin and blinks up at him lazily as he offers the glass of wine. 

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m rather large.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed,” she giggles.

Ben smirks at her.

“ _ Anyway _ ,” he continues, “I put it in when I bought the apartment. I needed a big tub for soaking after some of the more intense practices.”

Her brow furrows.

“It’s nice to see someone else enjoying it though,” he grins down at her and quirks his eyebrows. 

Rey flicks water and bubbles at him.

“Get in,” she orders in a mockery of his earlier words. 

“Yes ma’am. But first, more wine, milady?” 

She pretends to consider for a moment. 

"Indeed, milord." She nods eagerly and giggles, so he goes to the kitchen to retrieve another bottle. 

When he returns, Rey is chomping happily and waves at him to get in. Ben looks down at her for a moment, enjoying the view, then goes to stick his foot in the water and nearly yelps at the heat. He flinches, but slides the rest of his body into the steaming water, leaning back to look at Rey, who is peering at him over the rim of her glass.

He quirks his eyebrow at her in silent question.

“Just enjoying the view.” She smirks at him and raises her glass in a mock toast.

Ben rolls his eyes and takes his own glass, downing half of it in one go. 

“So it is going to be a party,” Rey purrs. She finishes her own drink and slides her foot up the length of his calf. She leans forward, and for once Ben doesn’t resist the urge to look down at where her tits have emerged, glistening and covered with a light layer of bubbles. It looks like frosting and he wants to lick it off.

“I wouldn’t,” Rey says, reading his mind, “the bubbles are bitter.”

“Did you eat the bubbles?” 

“Well…no. But I dropped a piece of cheese into the water.”

“And you ate it anyway?” He knows the answer.

She pretends to gape at him.

“Of course I did. It was just a little cleaner after I dropped it.”

“Hmm,” Ben hums. “C’mere.” He uses his glass to gesture for her to come to his side of the tub.

Rey scoots over on her knees until she’s a few inches away from him, between his spread knees. She sits back on her heels and reaches to fill their glasses, giving him his when she’s done.

“Turn around,” he says, and she cocks her head at him, but does as he asked. She turns around on her knees so her back is facing him, and he pulls her back into his chest. His free arm wraps around her waist as she nestles back into him. 

He leans forward to rest his chin on her shoulder, enjoying the feel of their skin together in the steaming heat of the water. For a time they stay like that, with him occasionally feeding her bites of fruit and cheese until they've finished all the food and then the wine. A pleasant buzzing fills his head from the wine, and the rolling jets are keeping the water warm and bubbly. Almost lazily, Rey turns her face to press a kiss to his neck, and while he knows he probably should be sated, he just wants  _ more _ . 

More of her. Always.

Gently, Ben uses his hand to tip her head back, so her head rests on his shoulder, exposing her throat to him. Working his hands from her collarbones down her shoulders and arms, massaging small circles into her slick skin. She moans as his thumbs press into a sore spot at the base of her neck, her entire body flinching and relaxing against his with each press of his fingers. Her eyes are closed and Ben takes full advantage of it, staring down at her soft body curving against the hardness of his. Her tits peek through the bubbles, and Ben can’t resist trailing his hands down to palm her tits and flick the rough pads of his thumbs over her peaked nipples. Her moan shoots straight to his cock, and Ben can feel himself hardening against her backside. 

Rey can feel it too, because she slowly rolls her hips to press back against him.

Giving her a warning nip beneath her jaw, Ben returns his attention to her tits, tracing his knuckles over the soft skin underneath. He dips his hands beneath the soapy water, dragging bubbles up onto her skin and sliding his fingertips through the slickness there. Her impatience begins to take over; she starts squirming against him. So Ben clamps one arm over her hips to hold her in place while he drags his free hand slowly up and down the length of her body from her chin to her thighs. Her breath starts to hitch as he draws closer to her more sensitive areas, but he ignores them, feeling her body tense and sag in expectation of his touch and then his denial. He grins into her hair.

“Tell me what you want, Rey,” he whispers into her ear. Her irritation is clear from the intensity with which she digs her nails into his skin, but the slight pain is worth it to watch her shiver beneath his touch.

“I think you know what I want,” she growls. But her voice is breathless and her eyes are shuttered.

If he just keeps teasing her, she’ll beg.

Ben dips the very tips of his calloused fingers into the crease of her hip and thigh, lower, skimming over her folds, and back up the other crease and over her stomach and the ladder of her ribs. Back to the soft underside of her breasts that have now started to heave slightly.

“Say it,” he says, drawing a half-moon just beneath the dark pink of her nipple.

“Please,” she gasps, trying to grind back against him.

“Please what,  _ Rey _ ?” Her name in that tone seems to undo her.

“Please, Ben, please touch me. Please.”

He likes that.

“Since you asked so nicely,” he says and obliges her, moving both hands to pinch and roll her nipples between his fingers as he sucks a mark into the soft flesh where her neck and shoulder meet. Rey lets out a breath, and he moves his fingers lower, dipping into her slick folds to press into her clit. She moans and presses her ass into his fully-hard cock. 

His middle finger slides inside her to stroke the spot that he knows will make her eyes roll and her toes curl. 

And they do. 

Ben loves watching her find her pleasure at his hands. He loves the sounds she makes, and he loves the way her body moves as he strokes and teases her. 

He loves  _ her. _

Ben lets the realization wash over him, then he examines it and accepts it for what it is.

He loves her. It’s simple. 

“Rey, I-“ he starts but doesn’t know how to say it. “I need you.”

She keens in affirmation, and he grips her hips to lift her onto his cock, pushing into her with one swift stroke.

Her softness and heat surround him and his eyes close in ecstasy as he stills to allow her body to adjust to him. And when she moves, rocking her hips upward, he pushes against her, finding a place deep within her, deeper than he’s been so far. So they move together, and Ben finds the words closer and closer to escaping the closer he gets to climax.

And when they find their pleasure together, he whispers the words into her hair.

“I know,” she says.

~~~

Finn, Poe, and Phasma are exceptionally bad at charades. Hux, surprisingly, is not. The tall ginger-haired man has a knack for reading the body language of his teammate and contorting his body to convey the more difficult prompts like “mermaid” and “chicken nugget”. 

Phasma and Poe started out as teammates against Hux and Finn, but she notes Finn and Poe’s eyes tracking each other when they think the other isn’t looking, so she rotates teammates after the first round. Normally, she likes to play  _ against _ Armie, finding their antagonism to be a bit of a turn-on, but she sees that Finn needs a nudge in the right direction. 

It’s odd, she thinks, that gregarious, bubbly Finn is having such trouble around Poe, who is clearly as interested in Finn as Finn is in Poe.

_ Boys _ , she thinks, rolling her eyes skyward.

She also switches out the regular charades cards for the more adult ones with prompts like “fire crotch” and “booty call”. She smirks, knowing that  _ that _ will break the awkwardness between them. There’s nothing like miming the movements for blue balls to get to know the person you want to date.

Finn is sweating bullets and trying to remain calm. He knows Phas switched teams on purpose, and he appreciates it, but Finn is currently regretting his decision to have a game-night sort-of double-date. Because Poe is just as friendly and excitable as he is, and Finn can’t quite get a read on the situation. When Poe isn’t looking, Phas makes small, unreadable hand gestures, but Finn has no clue what she means.

It’s why they’re currently losing spectacularly at charades. 

“Another drink, Finn, Poe?” Hux unfolds his lanky self from the sofa across from the loveseat where Phas had shoved Finn and Poe and heads for the drink cart. Poe hops up too.

“What do you have?” Poe asks, following Hux to the cart.

Phas leans forward, making a face at Finn that’s half scowl, half smirk.

“What are you  _ doing _ ?” Finn hisses at her.

“I am trying to  _ help _ ,” she hisses back.

“ _ How _ ?” Finn can feel himself gesticulating wildly.

“Because you are oblivious!” Phas rolls her eyes. “You both keep making googly eyes at each other but you both keep missing it! Just make a fucking move, Finn.” She leans back into the couch cushions and crosses her ankles demurely.

Finn takes her advice to heart, with the help of the cocktail Hux hands him. It has a little cocktail napkin and a fancy garnish, but he doesn’t take the time to savor it and tosses it back as quickly as he can. Shaking his head to clear the burn, he glares at Phas.

“Let’s play a different game.” 

“Oh! Let’s play Pucker Up!” Phas turns her ice blue eyes onto Finn and grins evilly. “Hux! Balls!” 

Poe snickers, and Hux grins as he leaves to do her bidding.

Finn glances at Poe, who is staring at him and grinning. Finn’s chugged cocktail hits a little too hard and fast, and he gets a hit of courage from it.

“Balls, huh?” 

Poe giggles. He actually  _ giggles _ . Finn is encouraged by it, but whatever he would have done is interrupted by Hux’s return. The other man has six cans of tennis balls in hand, and Finn has no clue why.

“Umm. Phas?” Finn waves his arms at the balls.

“Right,” she says, “Pucker Up.” If her grin got anymore evil, she’d need a fluffy white cat to pet. “So the goal is to get your tennis balls from there,” she points at where Hux is dumping balls into two bowls, “to there.” She points at the empty cans on either end of the dining table. “You have to place a ball on top of the empty can there beside the ball bowls,” the upside-down cans are on side tables, with the bowls full of tennis balls beside them, “and you have to hold hands with your partner and use your faces to move the ball into the other cans. No hands after putting the ball on the first can. Got it?”

Finn thinks he might actually be grateful for Phasma’s meddling.

Until he is confronted with a very lovely pair of eyes a few shades lighter brown than his own, and fringed with thick, dark lashes. And a pair of hands that, while similar in size, are finer boned and more nimble than his own. The fuzzy yellow tennis ball is the only thing separating their mouths, and Finn finds himself with a sudden extreme aversion to the game of tennis. Poe’s eyes crinkle, and Finn thinks he’s grinning, but of course, the damn ball hides it. 

They move together, crab-walking sideways toward the dining table and their empty cans. Out of the corner of his eye, Finn can see that Hux and Phas already have two balls in their can, with a third nearly there. But Finn can’t bring himself to care as he takes in the dark curl that dips over Poe’s brow and the faint shading of a few days’ growth of scruff on his jaw. Finn finds himself wondering what it would feel like against his skin.

Poe and Finn fail horribly at the game, but they’re too lost in each other to care. After the game is over, Poe leaves their hands together, and Finn wonders how polite it is to leave game night after an hour. He thanks whatever gods might still exist when Phas shoos them out the front door, and as soon as the front door closes, Poe pushes him back against the sleek silver of his car and their mouths burn as they slant together.

~~~

Rey knows her response is…concerning for Ben. But she also hates the knee-jerk reaction of saying ‘I love you’ for the first time in immediate response to the other person. Not that she’s ever told anyone she’s dated that she loves them. Because she hasn’t. Loved anyone.

Except for Ben. She loves him; she’s sure of it.

So she is determined to show him before she tells him. 

After the slow, sweet sex in the bath and Ben’s revelation, Rey is ravenous, and she says so. He grins at her and pulls on a robe before kissing the tip of her nose and heading out into the kitchen to finish the pizza. Rey wanders naked into his closet with the intention of borrowing a button-up for now and stealing a few other shirts for later when she sees his uniform hanging toward the back. Snickering a bit, she grabs the clothes off the hangers and saunters back into his bedroom. There, she tosses the white pants on the bed in the hope that she can get him to model them for her later. And she pulls the jersey on, only buttoning two buttons in the vicinity of her belly button.

Ben is actually tossing the pizza dough in the air when she comes out of the bedroom. And he’s not dropping it or throwing it into a spinning ceiling fan. He seems good at it. Of course, he is.

“Now  _ that _ is sexy,” she says, only partially kidding, as she watches him concentrate on tossing the dough. He’d pulled on a pair of black shorts to cook, muttering something about “cooking naked” and “dangerous”, and they contrast nicely with his skin.

Rey leans forward, lazily resting her elbows on the cold, dark marble of the counter, and very obviously stares at his muscles rippling as he tosses the dough in the air for a final time. 

When he finally looks at her, his mouth drops open.

“I think that’s got to be some sort of blasphemy against the baseball gods,” he says, staring at the fabric gaping over her chest.

“I thought you’d like it,” Rey pouts.

“I do, and now I’m going to think of you wearing it every time I put it on, which might be problematic for my teammates.”

Smirking, Rey rounds the kitchen island and leans past him, opening a cabinet for a glass. Ben lets out a sound that is somewhere between a snort and a grunt, and Rey can feel his hand tracing the letters written across her back in bright red.

“I’d rather you wore my real name,” he said, his voice tinged with a hint of sadness as he trails his hand down her back.

Not too much sadness, though, because when he reaches her ass, he swats her and ducks away before she can retaliate. After a moment, he returns to the dough and she perches in her usual spot beside him, absently stirring the sauce.

“I’d rather have your real name too,” she says, hearing the implication of her words and wondering if he does too.

He blinks down at her from his absurdly tall height, and she dimples up at him before sticking her finger in the sauce and bringing it to her mouth to taste it.

“Have you talked to Holdo about changing it? Do your teammates know?” 

“Just Finn, Poe, and Phas. And Hux, the announcer.” Ben gently flattens the dough on the pizza stone and smoothes the edges.

“Oh, I’ve never met him. It’d be nice to meet another Brit. We can talk about crumpets and tea and the queen,” she says sarcastically. “Do you think Holdo would let you change it?” She breaks a piece off the ball of artisanal mozzarella and pops it in her mouth. 

“Probably,” Ben says, “but do you think it’s a good idea in the middle of the season?” Ben hands her another bite of the cheese before moving it to his other side so there will be some left for the pizza.

“Do you think anyone will care?” He cocks an eyebrow at her. “I don’t mean it like that. Just. You’ve earned your place and you put up with all the shit from Snoke for so long. Do you really think anyone will begrudge you the right to your own name?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “It’s something I haven’t thought about until recently.” He finishes arranging the third and final circle of dough on the stone. “Ready to build these?” 

“Yes! I’ve never done this before,” she says sliding down front the counter. He drops an apron over her head, tying it at her waist. “What do I do?” 

Together, they build their pizzas, and while they bake, Ben and Rey sit on his couch, flipping through his Netflix queue. It occurs to Rey that they haven’t really done anything like this and she grins at him as she slides the remote from his hand, clicking through his recently watched videos.

“You can learn a lot about a person from their watching habits,” Rey says mock-seriously.

Ben scoffs.

“Not from mine,” he says, not looking at her. “I never really felt like I deserved to do things I enjoyed.” He says it so matter-of-factly that Rey doesn’t quite catch his meaning at first.

Rey looks up at him for a moment, incapable of believing that he’d been so  _ broken _ that he felt that way. 

“Well, that’s stupid. What do you like? Comedy? Drama? Horror? Anime?” 

“I don’t know?” He says it like a question. “It’s been a long time.”

She takes that as a personal challenge.

“Good. We’re going to watch  _ everything _ .” 

“Everything?” He sounds skeptical.

“Yes, everything.”

“Sounds like it’ll take a while.” He sounds hopeful, if a little uncertain.

“Yep. Let’s start with this one.” She clicks over to the bright yellow icon of The Good Place. “Pure brilliance,” she says. “Do you have popcorn?” 

“We’re making pizza,” he says, chuckling.

“Oh right.” She pauses before starting the show. “But do you have popcorn?”

“Nope.”

Rey sighs long-sufferingly. 

“Make a list. After pizza, we’re going shopping again. This time, I’m taking the lead.”

“Didn’t you take the lead last time?”

“Yeah, but we didn’t get  _ snacks _ . It’s  _ different _ .” 

~~~

It’s late, but when they finish their pizza, they go to the supermarket and Rey drags Ben all over the store. Her method of wandering aimlessly until she figures out she wants something six aisles over is cute at first, until it gets annoying, but he patiently wanders back and forth with her as their cart grows ever heavier. He enjoys her enthusiasm at picking out junk food, even if she does wander around like a lost kid. 

“Tomorrow, we’re going to the park to feed this to the ducks.” She pulls a bag of frozen corn and peas from the glass-doored freezer. “Do you wanna maybe grab the kids and take them? We don’t have to, I just think they’d like to go. But not if you don’t want to.”

She doesn’t look at him as she wanders further down the aisle, searching for something.

“Yeah, that sounds fun. What snacks do the kids like? We should get them stuff, too.” 

Rey ducks her head, spins on her heel, and marches back toward him, launching herself at him at the last second.

“I love you, too,” she whispers in his ear while she squeezes the air out of his lungs.

He feels warmth surge through him at her words but…

“I mean it’s nice to know, but why tell me now?” He’s confused.

“It’s just, you’re so perfect anyway.” Is she crying? He soothes his hand over her back. “But you wanna get snacks for the kids?” She’s definitely sobbing into his shirt. “Food is our love language, mine and the kids’, and it just… means a lot. That you care about them too.” She sniffles.

He wraps his arms tighter around her and kisses her temple.

“I love you, Rey,” he says into her hair. “And they’re your family, so I love them too. Even Jaina. Especially Jaina.” 

Rey lets out a watery laugh.

“Ice cream?” he asks her.

“Only if it’s Ben and Jerry’s.” She smiles up at him, wiping her eyes. 

Somehow she manages to talk him into buying one of every pint of Ben and Jerry’s, and he doesn’t even care about the amount of sugar she’s convincing him to eat because it’s  _ Rey _ and  _ she loves him. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have said "I know" in response to my husband when he said "I love you" the first time and then waited a full 24 hours to say it back to him to avoid that knee-jerk reaction. (I'm terrible, I know.)
> 
> I can't guarantee that the next update will take any less time than this one, but I am *trying*.
> 
> Stan Ben & Jerry’s.


	18. Brunch and Babysitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes to brunch, Ben babysits, and things get emotional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how more than a month has passed since my last update, but here's a longish one to make up for it. 
> 
> I do apologize for the wait and am trying to be better.
> 
> Also re: the daddy kink poll on twitter told me that it should be a oneshot, so a oneshot you shall have. I have written a good chunk of it that is sort of an outtake of this chapter, but I likely won't post it until the actual story is over.
> 
> (For anyone not aware, I tweeted about not turning this into a daddy kink fic, but the idea of Soft!Daddy baseball Ben was apparently appealing to a bunch of people, so it looks like we shall be seeing him.)
> 
> Thanks to skyeryder01 for beta reading as always.

Ben rode the high of his weekend with Rey right into Monday morning’s practice. They’d spent Friday night and all of Saturday alone, then Sunday was spent with the kids, and Ben felt a little piece of his soul click back into place with all of them together. 

He pulls his Silencer into the stadium’s lot right behind Finn, and they park in adjacent spots. He’s not wholly unsurprised to see the catcher exit his car with Poe on the passenger side.

“Good weekend?” Ben asks, smirking. They both grin back at him.

“Looks like yours was pretty good too. Or you had a run-in with a flesh-sucking mynock.” Poe attempts to look concerned as he peers at a mark on Ben’s neck, but he can’t control his giggles. 

The marks Ben had sucked into Rey’s thighs the night before are much worse than the ones she’d left on him, but he’s not about to tell  _ them _ that. Some primal, animal part of his brain feels pride at having marked her, and she him. He was hers, she was his, and that was that.

Ben is happy to see Finn and Poe together, though, and he’s surprised that he  _ isn’t _ surprised by his happiness for them. Kylo Ren, it seems, is well and truly dead. 

As Ben walks through the halls of the stadium’s underground labyrinth of offices and meeting rooms, he smiles and nods at his teammates, blissfully unaware of their shock at his abrupt change of temperament. After he changes into his workout clothes, Ben wanders into the outdoor practice area. He shoves his wireless earbuds in, thumbing up the playlist Rey had made for him, and chuckles as the bright, upbeat music that is essentially a musical representation of her fills his ears. He goes through his warmup, feeling lighter than usual, giving Finn and Poe a small wave when they emerge into the practice area. Holdo emerges shortly thereafter, but Ben only gives her a nod before he returns to stretching. His hips are looser than usual thanks to Rey insisting they try yoga over the weekend, but they are always woefully tight, and he continues his stretches to avoid injury.

He continues stretching the rest of his body, not really listening to the pop music in his ears, but enjoying the sound anyway. He is about to head to the batting cages when -

“SOLO.”

Ben jumps a mile, having completely missed Holdo standing beside him and apparently talking to him. He yanks the earbuds out and turns to face her, noticing in the process that his teammates have all come outside and are now staring at him and Holdo.

Ah.

She said  _ Solo _ .

Shit.

Anxious thoughts skitter over the surface of his mind as he searches their faces, but he isn’t discouraged by what he finds there. He mostly sees confusion, so he just looks at Holdo.

“Yeah?”

“Your mother taught you better manners, Ben  _ Solo _ .”

This time, she emphasizes the name, and Ben winces. Sure, he’d thought about telling his teammates, but  _ after _ the season was over so there would be time to process. Not midway through with an away set coming up. 

“Yes,  _ ma’am?” _ He feels the same teen insolence that he’d felt around Leia rising up inside him, but he shoves it back down so he can think about it later.

“That’s better,  _ Solo _ . As I was saying, we’re having a team meeting. Perhaps you’d like to join us?” She gestures a delicate hand to where the team have all gathered together. He follows her to them. “Anything you’d like to say?” She glances wryly up at him.

“Uh, hi, guys. As you might have guessed from  _ that _ ,” he waves in Holdo’s direction, “my name is Ben Solo.”

A beat of silence, then,

“As in, Han Solo, Solo?” Ben isn’t sure who speaks because he’s staring at Holdo.

“Yes! Isn’t that  _ awesome _ ?” Finn answers for him, and Ben is grateful.

“Wait. Didn’t Han Solo marry Anakin Skywalker’s daughter?” 

Ben sighs.

“Yeah.” He finally faces his teammates. “So, um, you guys can call me Ben, instead of Kylo. Actually I’d prefer it. Kylo Ren was…” he pauses. “Kylo Ren was Snoke’s creation.” 

Ben sees a lot of furrowed brows and scowling, but none of it seems directed at him. 

“Hiiiii, Ben!” Poe winks and waves wildly at him.

Ben rolls his eyes at Poe, but still feels his lips quirk into half a grin.

“So, Solo,” Holdo says, finally speaking, “are you ready to join the rest of the team?”

__________________________________________________

The next day, Rey pulls into the parking lot of the stadium, singing along with a silly kid song playing through her phone that’s been stuck in the cupholder as a poor replacement for a speaker. Ben had forgotten his phone at her house the night before and had used Finn’s to ask her to bring it to him before they left for the away set. So she and the kids piled in the car to bring it to him.

She wanted to say goodbye again anyway.

Ben walks toward them through the lot; he must have been waiting by the gate. He waves and opens the back passenger door to help get Alema out of her seat, but halts, apparently stumped by the buckles and straps of a five-year-old’s car seat, so the little girl helpfully starts barking out orders. Laughing at them both, Jacen takes pity on Ben and shows him how to loosen the straps to release the wiggling tyrant from her seat. He hoists Alema on his shoulders, walking them around to Rey’s side of the car, where he leans down for a kiss. Alema shrieks and grabs his ears to keep from falling, and one of her flailing little feet catches Rey right in the jaw. 

As if on cue, Ben and Alema start apologizing profusely, and although she’s fine, Rey lets Ben lead them inside the stadium to the doctor’s office for an ice pack. Ben keeps looking down at her nervously, and Alema is so upset that she cries, her tears dripping down on to Ben’s hat. Both the very large man and the very tiny girl on his shoulders look extremely upset with themselves that Rey has to hide her laughter at their matching dismayed expressions. Jacen and Jaina, completely oblivious, hold hands and wander along, with Jacen spouting baseball facts at his little sister who totally ignores them. 

Dr. Kalonia ignores Ben’s anxious hovering and politely but firmly shoves him into the corner of her exam room after he all but begs her to look at Rey’s jaw. Rey rolls her eyes, and even though she’s a bit irked at his reaction, she does appreciate that he’s worried for her. It’s sweet, if a bit unnecessary. Once Dr. Kalonia declares Rey as fine, she releases them armed with an ice pack and lollipops for all.

“I don’t even know where these came from,” Ben says around the stick poking out from between his lips. He’s adorable, Rey thinks, with his hat on backward and his workout clothes and the candy in his mouth. She stands on her toes to press a sticky kiss to his cheek, and he smiles at her, but won’t kiss her back for fear of her getting kicked again.

“Well, hello,” a cool female voice calls from a little way down the hall.

A tall, thin woman in lavender yoga pants with a black FO top and hat walks toward them. 

Ben sighs a bit.

“Amilyn, uh, Coach Holdo, this is Rey.” His words are distorted around the lolly. 

Rey shakes hands with the woman who introduces herself as Amilyn Holdo, the new First Order coach.

“And who are these tiny people?” she asks, eliciting a giggle from the girls and a grunt from Jacen.

“I’m Jacen,” he says, setting his jaw and sticking out his hand, “I’m ten. And that’s my sister Jaina,” she waves from behind Rey’s legs, “and that’s Alema.” He points to where Alema still sits on Ben’s shoulders, sticky fingers still entwined the hair that pokes out from beneath his hat. 

“Well it’s nice to meet you all,” Coach Holdo says. She looks past the group to a spot further down the hall. “Oh, hello Leia, I didn’t expect you for a few more minutes.”

Rey felt Ben stiffen a bit, but not as much as he would have before, and Rey thanked the gods that she’d worn a decent looking top with her denim shorts today instead of the oversized, holey tee she’d been considering this morning. 

“Amilyn, hello. I needed to drop off some paperwork,” Leia nods to Amilyn. “Rey, it’s so nice to see you again.” Leia gives Rey a half hug and scoops up Jaina, who immediately came out from behind Rey to offer hugs to the older woman. “And how are you, dear?” 

“Pwincess Weia!” Jaina screeches, throwing her arms around Leia’s neck. 

“How’s Dad, Mom?”

Rey can tell that Ben feels awkward saying the words, but a look at him can tell he really is concerned. She places her hand on his back and rubs small circles. 

“Han is doing better, thank you. He’s home now and should be back to normal soon.” 

Ben and Leia’s tones are both stiff and formal, and she wishes they felt more comfortable together. And she can tell that the both feel the same way, even if they’re too stubborn to say it. 

“It was lovely to see you all,” Coach Holdo makes her exit, and everyone else stands and stares awkwardly.

“Well, um, bye,” Ben says and turns to walk away.

“Oh, Rey?” Leia says before they can all follow Ben. “Um, would you like to join Amilyn and I for a late brunch or tea this weekend after the team returns from their away set?” Her words rush out just like Ben’s do when he’s nervous, and Rey swallows a grin.

She has to think for a moment, but she’s fairly certain that both Kay and Rose have plans for the weekend, meaning she won’t have a babysitter.

“I’d love to,” she starts, “but Rose and Kaydel, the other foster moms for Jakku won’t be able to babysit for me.”

Leia’s face falls, but she brightens again after a moment.

“Ben can babysit for you!” 

Ben blinks at his mother, mouth gaping.

All of the kids start exclaiming their agreement for that arrangement and Rey is outnumbered.

“Um, I’m not sure?” She says, looking at Ben. “I don’t think he’s ever-“

“Oh they’ll be fine,” Leia interjects. “He’s an adult, and they clearly adore him.”

“Ben, is that okay?” 

Ben looks between Rey and Leia with his eyebrows almost disappearing into his hat.

“I think so. Umm, can I have help, though? Finn and Poe? Or Phas?” 

“Oh, no, dear, Gwen is joining us for brunch.” 

“Finn can help, Ben, he’s practically one of the kids himself,” Rey reassures him. “They love him.”

Ben exhales.

“Good. I’m okay, then, if you want to go?” 

Rey  _ really _ wants to go. She’d really enjoyed talking with Leia, and she may have ulterior motives in wanting to find out more about Ben as a kid. And Amilyn Holdo just seemed like a badass. 

“I’d like to, if you’re sure you’ll be okay with the kids.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart, anything for you.” 

“Excellent!” Leia fishes in her purse and pulls out a card. “Rey, here’s my card. Text me your information and I’ll get you the details. Lovely to see everyone, now I really must go have that meeting with Amilyn.” She sets Jaina down and waves before following Coach Holdo in her office.

_________________________________________________________________________

Somehow, Ben had managed to talk her out of her anxiety over brunch, and she’d even managed to dress herself for the occasion, surprising Rose and Kaydel to no end. She’d managed to thrift a pretty lace top and paired it with dark jeans and a pair of ballet flats borrowed from Kay’s infinite closet. 

Both Jaina and Alema are in her room with her, playing with little makeup kits in front of her mirror and offering her commentary while she gets herself ready when Ben appears in the doorway. He watches silently for a moment, their eyes meeting in the mirror. When she starts to pull her hair up in a bun, he starts forward.

“Can I do it?” 

Rey blinks at him in the mirror.

“You want to…do my hair?” 

He nods slowly.

“Is that okay?” He seems a little nervous to be asking, which Rey thinks is very sweet, if a bit unnecessary at this point in their relationship.

“Sure,” Rey shrugs.

He comes over to stand behind her, taking the brush from her and gently passing it through her hair a few times, pressing gently against her scalp. Rey nearly purrs from the sensation. Ben grins down at her and massages his fingertips into her scalp for a moment, and then she really does purr. After a few moments, he parts her hair and gathers sections in his hands, deftly braiding and twisting the top half of her hair back. Clamping her jaw shut to keep from gaping at him, Rey watches as he finishes the braids and pins them in place.

Jaina and Alema watch in delight and immediately start clamoring for him to do theirs too. Without even thinking about it, Ben plops down on the floor and the little girls squabble over who gets to go first. Alema somehow wins, and she sits on Ben’s crossed legs while he brushes her hair and follows her demands for mermaid braids, whatever that is. Rey watches in awe at the serious look on his face while he braids and twists Alema’s hair, reworking strands patiently while she bounces around. He catches her watching and winks up at her before proclaiming Alema’s hair done. Jaina scrambles into his lap.

“I want hair like Pwincess Weia,” Jaina demands, prodding Ben’s shoulder with her tiny finger.

Ben bites his lip but nods, braiding Jaina’s hair into a crown on top of her head.

“How did you learn that?” Rey asks, still vaguely awed by this new turn of events. She has mastered the three-strand braid, and that is  _ it. _

Ben blushes, and Rey loves seeing it, this redwood of a man, blushing while he braids the little girl’s hair.

“I used to watch my mom,” he says, ducking away from her, shoulders turning inward. “I guess I just sort of picked it up.”

Rey nods absently.

“You are good with your hands.”

Instantly, he perks back up and grins widely at her.

“I am?” 

Now, Rey feels her own cheeks burning.

“I meant- with the baseball and stuff- not  _ that _ ,” she stammers.

“Oh,” he pouts, “not  _ that _ ?”

“Ugh,  _ Ben _ .” She rolls her eyes and flounces out of her bedroom, pretending to still be irritated at him because she knows-

Yep.

She hears him stand and chase after her.

“Do I need to remind you how much you like my hands, sweetheart?” he purrs into her ear, kissing the skin just below it.

“Ben!” she hisses. “There are  _ children _ !”

“I’m not doing anything wrong,” he says, still nuzzling into her neck. The sensation of his warm breath and lips ghosting over her skin send shivers down her spine.

“Benjamin, I am  _ not _ going to a brunch with your mother all hot and bothered,” she gripes at him through a gasp as his tongue just barely flicks out against her neck. “Stop that,” she orders.

He pouts again but backs away. His dark eyes burn into her like a promise for later.

“Yes, ma’am,” he breathes.

She files that away for later.

The doorbell rings, and Ben goes to answer while she searches for her purse.

“Um, Rey?” Ben sounds rather bemused. “Come see this.”

Rey follows his voice to the door and stops just behind him. A  _ limo _ is parked in front of her house. The sunroof is open and a very tall woman with short blonde hair sticks her head out the open upper window.

“Hey, Ren!”

Beside her, Rey sees Ben’s mouth fall open.

“Phasma?” he gapes beside her.

“What’s Phas doing here?” Rey asks.

“Huh.” Rey is exceptionally confused by this. “Why’s she here?” she asks quietly while waving awkwardly to the older woman.

Before Ben can answer, one of the limo doors opens and Leia steps out, all regal calmness as usual.

“Do join us, Rey, we have reservations for brunch, and Bebè would never forgive me if we missed them.” Leia waves Rey toward the oversized car’s door. Rey kisses Ben and goes forward, bewildered. She ducks into the car, and on a whim stands beside Phas, poking her own head through the roof and waving to her kids and Ben.

Alema and Jaina have managed to climb Ben like the tree he is, and Jacen stands beside them, and they all wave at her. Rey and Phas sit down and the car pulls forward.

Once she’s seated and buckled, she takes in the interior of the enormous car. It’s cream-colored and much classier than the movies would lead her to believe. There are no neon swirls or shelves filled with liquor and - thank the gods - no stripper poles. Instead, there are softly-upholstered leather seats that face each other. Directly across from her are Phasma and Coach Holdo, both looking vaguely uncomfortable at their proximity to each other. Beside Rey, Leia is seated and adjusting the fall of her light-grey jacket. 

“Um, hello,” Rey says, waving awkwardly to the inhabitants of the car.

“Rey, this is Gwen Phasma,” she said. “I’m not sure if you’ve met. I bumped into her just after seeing you, actually, and thought it might be nice for her to have some ‘girl-time’.”

“We have met, but it’s been a while,” Rey says, and everything is quiet for a time. “Um. The limo is…nice. I’ve never been in one before.”

“Even for prom?” Phas asks, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. Rey assumes it’s because the blonde is so tall that her hair nearly brushes the ceiling.

Rey blushes a bit, and shakes her head.

“Not even for prom,” she said, folding her hands in her lap. The finery of the ridiculous car makes her feel intensely uncomfortable.

Phasma chuckles.

“Prom?” The blonde rolls her eyes. “Such a stupid tradition. I wore a tux to mine.” 

Amilyn and Leia share a smile, and Rey stifles a giggle. She can imagine Phasma stalking around in a severely cut tuxedo, scowling and frightening off potential dance partners.

“Amilyn knows something about wearing scandalous things to prom,” Leia offers, smiling smugly at her friend.

“Yes, well, I felt that if we were going to go to an outdated mating ritual, then those cooperating in the mating ritual ought to participate safely,” Amilyn replies coolly, pouring champagne into a flute.

Rey blinks, confused. Phasma’s face echoes her confusion.

“Amilyn wore a dress covered in condoms,” Leia supplies “she wandered around, offering them to dancing couples. 

Rey gapes, and Phasma howls with laughter, looking at the coach with a shocked expression.

“No  _ way _ ,” Phasma exclaims, offering her fist to Amilyn. Their knuckles bump together. “That is deadass the best thing I’ve ever heard.” 

Leia chuckles with them, and the mood in the ridiculous car lightens as she hands out champagne to its occupants.

When they reach the restaurant, the women all pile out, and Rey, feeling slightly tipsy already, is grateful to herself for having chosen to wear flats and jeans. A short man in bright orange clothing, Bebe apparently, bustles out, air kisses Leia, and shuffles them inside to a table already laden with what looks to Rey to be enough food to feed an army. Instantly, her mouth waters at the sight of the spread of delicious food. Everyone seats themselves, but as people are wont to do, no one wants to start serving first. 

As usual, Rey leads the way. She’s not going to let anything get in the way of her food. As she loads her plate with lyonnaise potatoes, scrambled eggs with bacon mixed in, three different kinds of toast, and a veritable mountain of fruit, she sees an older woman heading toward them. She has long white hair divided into two plaits with what looks like blue ribbon twined in them, creating a sort of striped pattern in the braids. Leia blinks at the woman, then stands and goes around to wrap her in a hug.

“Ahsoka!” She exclaims. “It’s been years!” Leia turns to face the table. “Everyone, this is Ahsoka Tano, an old friend of…my father’s”. Both Leia and Ahsoka’s eyes darken for a moment at the mention of him, but they brighten again when Leia invites the elderly woman to join them. 

Leia goes around the table, offering introductions to Ahsoka.

“Amilyn is my oldest friend,” she explains to the older woman, “we went through school together. And now she coaches for First Order, Ben’s team. And Gwen plays for them too!” Leia’s face beams with pride for her son and her friend and their team. “They’re doing quite well, there’s lots of talk of the Series this year, hmmm Amilyn?” 

Amilyn isn’t shy and takes the praise with a rather practiced ease that could almost come across as arrogance.

“Yes, well, Snoke put together an excellent team, though his coaching methods were deplorable.”

Phasma snorts into her mimosa.

“And how is little Benji?” Ahsoka asks, sipping from her own mimosa.

_ Benji _ ? Ha. Rey’s going to have to remember that one.

“The last time I saw him, he’d stripped off all his clothes and run naked across the Resistance outfield,” Ahsoka continues. “He was what, three?”

Rey feels her mouth fall open, and Gwen, sitting beside her, doubles over with laughter. 

“Yes, he was three,” Leia says, chuckling before daintily popping a bite of pastry into her mouth. “Rey, here,” she toasts Rey with her pink-tinged drink, “is Ben’s girlfriend.” 

The word girlfriend rubs her wrong, but Rey can’t put her finger on why. It doesn’t feel intense enough for what she and Ben are, what they share. But she’s certainly not going to tell that to his mother, so she just nods and smiles.

“And what do you do, Rey?” Ahsoka smiles encouragingly.

“Oh, me?” She’s rather uncomfortable, being put on the spot, so she shoves a forkful of potatoes in her mouth to buy some time. “I foster for Jakku House, and when the school year starts up, I’ll be a counselor for the fifth school district.” 

“That’s lovely, Rey!” Ahsoka beams at her. “Taking in younglings? It’s very noble of you.”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Rey says. “I just want to offer kids the opportunities I never had until later,” she shrugs. “That’s all.”

“Her fosters are the sweetest kids,” Leia gushes. “Ben is actually babysitting them right now.”

“Kylo Ren, sorry, Ben Solo, is  _ babysitting _ ?” Phasma shrieks. “Girl, you must have a magic vagina.”

Rey chokes on her bite of potatoes, and Leia spits out her mouthful of champagne. Phasma, realizing what she’s said and to whom, looks back and forth between the two and cackles. Amilyn and Ahsoka both try to hide their grins and fail miserably.

“Well,” Rey says when she’s stopped coughing, “the kids really love him, and he’s so good with them. He’s really helped Jacen come out of his shell. You know, Jacen, right Gwen?” 

“Call me Phas,” she says. “Jacen’s the kid who came to practice, yeah?”

“Right.” Rey speaks to the table, making eye contact with each woman for a moment. “Well, Jacen and Jaina, his little sister, they were… well anyway, my point is that Ben offered to let him come to warm up, and then taught him how to throw a baseball, and now he’s teaching him more about the rules and positions, and it’s just really helped Jacen open up and be more of a kid.” Tears sting her eyes, and when she looks up, Rey sees that Leia’s eyes are also shining with unshed tears. 

After a few emotionally charged moments, Phas speaks up, saying she wants to hear more embarrassing stories about Ben, and Leia, who is also slightly tipsy after a few of her pink mimosas, obliges. She tells about him sneaking out in the middle of the night at fourteen, pushing the Falcon down the street so the sound of its revving engine wouldn’t wake his parents, only to have it run out of gas a mile away from home when he returned from shenanigans with his friends. And about the time Luke had come home to find an increasingly frustrated Ben smoking what he had thought was pot, but had turned out to just be oregano, and wondering why he wasn’t getting high. 

Rey laughed, loving hearing the stories about him as a kid, and she ate and drank and laughed with the other women, feeling a new kind of burgeoning friendship between them.

______________________________________

When Rey leaves, Ben is a little bit at a loss for what to do with the kids, but Jacen very helpfully supplies that they usually walked to the park if the weather is nice. Jacen also directs Ben as to which items he should place in a backpack so that he’ll be fully prepared for any eventuality. Ben finds himself surprised that Rey doesn’t have massive biceps with the sheer amount of shit that children apparently needed just to survive a walk to the park. Once everyone is dressed, fed, hydrated, and sunscreened, Ben makes sure everyone’s hand is held as they walk to the park. Thankfully, Rose just so happens to be taking hers at the same time, so Ben feels slightly less panicky about being left in charge of three small humans all by himself. Finn had claimed to be unable to join him because of “prior engagements”. 

Ben assumes that Poe was the prior engagement.

He also assumes that Rose has rearranged her plans to check up on him but is grateful all the same.

As terrifying as the tiny woman is, Ben knows that Rose won’t let him do anything that would horrifically maim or traumatize the kids.

“So, Sasquatch,” Rose says as they walk through the grassy area between the parking lot and the park’s entrance, “what are your intentions with Rey?” 

“My what?” Ben blinks down at her.

“Your intentions. You know, like in all the old movies, someone asks the dude who’s after the girl what his intentions are.” She waves her hands in the air while she speaks.

“Umm,” Ben feels his face and neck grow hot. They’d already slept together and declared their love, what other intentions did there need to be?

Unless she means…

“Like…marriage?” A man with a voice as deep as his should  _ not _ be able to squeak. But the m-word definitely comes out with a much higher pitch than he’d ever heard out of his own mouth.

Rose grins like a she-devil.

“Well, you’ve had mind-blowing sex, you told her you loved her, she loves you, so that’s the next step, right?” 

Can she read minds?

“No, I can’t read minds, but Rey is like a sister to me, and I know things, okay?” Rose leans down to retie her sneaker. “Have you thought about it?”

Ben would be lying if he said he hadn’t considered it. Well,  _ being _ married, not the  _ getting _ married part. He knows he wants to be with Rey, but a big ceremony with tons of people watching is terrifying. Which, when he thinks about it, is even more ridiculous given the fact that his job is literally playing a game so people can watch him. He sighs deeply and runs his hands through his hair.

Rose just watches him.

“Look, I want to be with her, okay? That’s all I really know,” Ben says a little desperately.

“Hmm,” Rose says, staring up at him. “That works for now.” Then she scampers off like one of the kids and joins the group on the playground. 

Ben follows behind her, helping Jaina empty sand out of her shoes and hovering a bit while he watches Alema climb the tallest slide. He holds Jaina up so she can go across the monkey bars, well, he holds her waist and she just moves her arms, but she giggles the whole time. Jacen finds a couple of boys his own age to play with, and Ben makes sure to text Rey because he knows she’ll love that. He’s really proud of how far the kid has come since he’d invited them to come to warm up with him. 

When the sun gets too high, they all walk back to Rey’s house, guzzling water from the water bottles Jacen had helped him pack. Thankfully, Rey had left her car; they’d planned to trade for the day, but then Leia showed up in a fucking limo, which was just like her, so he could get the girls into their booster seats to take them all for a treat for lunch. He invites Rose to join them, and somehow they all find themselves at the outdoor seating of a local burger joint. Rose bullies him into ordering gravy with his fries, then proceeds to steal half of it for her own cheese fries. Kaydel also shows up with her kids and keeps giving him the stink-eye until Rose speaks.

“I’ve already given him the intentions conversation,” Rose says, slurping gravy off a particularly cheesy fry.

“Hmm,” Kay considers him, then swipes a fry from his plate. She’d ordered a salad, but had made up for the missing calories by stealing bites from Rose and now, apparently, Ben. 

He didn’t mind, though. He thought it might mean that she’d accepted him.

“But is he taking care of her?” She waggles her eyebrows at him in a way that lets him know she doesn’t mean ‘putting bandaids on a paper cut’ caretaking.

Thankful for the surrounding children, Ben crams his burger into his mouth to hide the blush creeping over his cheeks.

He  _ knows _ he takes care of Rey, the sheer amount of orgasms he prides himself on giving her account for that, but he is  _ not _ sharing that with these two women who are practically strangers.

But then he catches a look pass between them, and-  _ they’re fucking with him _ .

So, he decides to do it too.

“Oh, well, actually, she takes care of me. There’s an apron, pearls, a whole bit.” He pauses to wipe his lips and to look up to see their glowers before he continues. “She cooks, she cleans, it’s delightfully archaic.” 

Rose’s eyebrows furrow, like she knows something he said was wrong, but she can’t quite catch it. Kaydel just glares. Ben raises his eyebrows at them, waiting for them to get the joke.

“Wait a minute,” Rose says, starting to grin, “Rey can’t cook for shit.” 

“She cooks, she cleans?” Kaydel throws her blonde hair back and laughs, swatting him on the shoulder.

“Oh my god,” Rose says, chortling, "you really had us going for a second. You have earned our approval now, Sasquatch.” 

Eventually, even the tireless little girls are exhausted, so Ben drives them home after paying for all the other kids’, and their moms’, food. They’re passed out in their room when Jacen quietly asks if they can play a game on the Wii.

“Sure, Kid, what did you have in mind?” Ben hopes it’s not bowling.

“Umm. Baseball?” Jacen cracks a tiny grin.

Ben groans, but they play, and Ben is spectacularly bad at it.

“But you have to account for things!” He’s shouting at the tv when Rey comes in. “You can’t just flick your wrist to pitch! It’s just  _ wrong _ !”

He’s so caught up in the  _ wrongness _ that is Wii baseball that he doesn’t even register Rey entering the room. 

“Lemme show you how it’s done!” 

Ben blinks, and Jacen laughs.

“Oh, boy,” Jacen says, “get ready for this one.”

Rey flounces over, presses a kiss to his cheek, then takes the white controller from his hand. She goes over to stand in front of the tv, grips the controller, sets her feet, sticks out her butt, wiggles a bit, and slings her arm forward in a really horrible imitation of pitching.

Not that Ben minded watching her shake her ass like that. Nope, he hadn’t minded that at all.

Eventually, even Jacen gets tired and goes to bed, leaving Ben and Rey alone for the first time all day.

“Hey,” she says dimpling up at him with a wide smile and slightly unfocused eyes. She twines her arms around him and rests her head on his chest.

“Hi,” he replies, kissing the top of her head. 

“I found out why Leia sent a limo,” she says, leaning further into him.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. The woman can put away mimosas like nobody’s business. There’s no way any of us could have driven home.”

Ben chuckles into her hair.

She sighs and pushes her face against him, rubbing her cheek against his sternum.

“What’re you doing?” He asked, amused by this vaguely cat-like motion.

“Smells good,” she says happily into his tee-shirt. 

“Okay,” he says and just stands with her for a while.

After a while, she starts swaying a bit, so he scoops her up and carries her into the bedroom, depositing her on the bed. She yawns and stretches, then stands and starts removing her clothes, tossing them into her closet.

Catching him watching her, Rey grins at him, moving slower and more deliberately, with intent. It feels like it takes years for her to reach behind her to unhook and slowly drop the lacy bra, and because he is  _ just _ a man, Ben’s eyes immediately drop to the skin that had been uncovered. Her nipples pebbled under his gaze, but she continues, slowly undoing the button of her jeans and sliding them down over her hips, revealing plain black underwear.

Why the plain black underwear gets him almost instantly hard, Ben doesn’t know. Maybe it’s the way she looks at him while she slides her clothes off. Maybe because he knows what’s beneath that little scrap of black cotton. Either way, his eyes trail down her belly and land between her legs and he instantly wants to take them off. Put his mouth on her and make her moan. 

And then she saunters over to her dresser and pulls open the drawer that she’d designated as his, rifling through to find one of his black tees. She pulls it over her head and disappears into the bathroom. Vaguely confused as to what just happened, Ben swiftly changes his own clothes to something more comfortable, trying desperately to ignore the raging hard-on that the love of his life had just caused and then abandoned. He hears water running in the sink and other faint sounds and tries to focus on that instead of how badly he wants her. When he hears her opening the door, Ben scrambles under the covers to at least try to hide his erection.

Which is apparently entirely unnecessary, as the second Rey emerges from the bathroom, she pounces on him, pinning him beneath her.

“Hi,” she says between kisses to his face and neck, “I needed to wash my face and brush my teeth. It has been a  _ day _ .” 

“Hmph.” Ben pretends to have hurt feelings, but she can see through it. 

“Well, if you wanted me to stop,” she says, pretending to misunderstand him, “you could just say so.”

Ben curls his fingers into her hipbones, rolling over with her when she rolls off him, tangling them both in the sheets, so he rips them off, tossing them to the floor. Now, he rises above her, staring down into her face. 

“Do you think I  _ ever _ want you to stop?” 

Rey smiles up at him, reaching up to twist her fingers through his hair, brushing his cheek.

And again, how much he loves her hits him fully in the chest and for a moment it’s hard to breathe. 

In the next moment, he’s kissing her, hard, trying to put all of his emotions into the simple act of pressing his lips to hers.

But it’s not enough. It’s never enough. He will always want more of her. His tongue flicks against hers, and he feels her legs fall open beneath him. Grinning against her lips, Ben traces his fingers over the waistline of her plain black underwear. But not beneath them. Not yet. His lips move over her neck, gently though, he doesn’t want to mark her too visibly. When he finds the spot over her heart, he can feel her heartbeat, and he sucks a mark there. Her hands slide beneath his shirt, pulling it up, and he lifts himself so she can pull it over his head.

That sense of male pride he always feels when she takes him in floods through him even as he watches her eyes darken. Tugging at the hem of her, well really it’s his, shirt, he pulls it up over her head, and they both just stare at the other, each drinking the other in. 

It’s intense and burning and he  _ needs _ her.

He fumbles a bit in his haste, and they laugh as they bump foreheads, both trying to undress the other. Somehow they both wind up with their clothes on the floor in a heap, and he picks her up so she can wrap her legs around his waist. Ben back up to the bed, letting them fall backward, landing hard enough that his breath is nearly knocked out. 

With Rey’s knees spread beside him, he can feel how wet she is, and he can’t stop himself from dipping a finger between her legs, stroking her core to draw out even more wetness. She rocks her hips, moaning, so he adds a second finger, tracing over her clit and sliding inside her.

“I need  _ you _ , Ben,” she pants, throwing her head back and squeezing her eyes shut. Her words and her actions don’t agree. She rocks herself into his hand, and Ben stares up at her in awe. “Ben,  _ please _ ,” she whispers.

Ben moves his fingers from inside her, stroking her on the way out, and she keens at the loss. With both hands, he grabs her hips, holding her still, hovering over his cock.

She tries to writhe and push down, but somehow he manages to keep her from impaling herself.

“Go slow, sweetheart, for me? Please?” 

The gods know that he does  _ not _ want to go slowly, but this feels different somehow, like they need to be slow and sweet with each other, no matter how much they just want to fuck.

Rey nods slowly, breath catching as Ben loosens his grip on her hips to lower her down.

Inch by agonizingly slow inch, she sinks down onto him, enveloping him in her wet heat, and Ben wants to scream in pleasured frustration at how good she feels around him. So tight and wet and  _ his _ .

He tells her, then says it again.

“You are  _ mine _ ,” he says quietly when he’s finally,  _ finally _ bottomed out inside her. 

And her face crumples, she falls forward onto his chest, sobbing.

_________________________________________

Rey hates that she’s  _ crying _ during sex. But he’s just so sweet and she loves him and she feels so  _ close _ with him that she just can’t help but cry. 

“You’re mine, too,” she whispers into his now tear-stained chest.

She’d felt him freeze beneath her when she started crying, and now he strokes his hand over her hair, the braid he’d done for her somehow still there. 

He must not have heard her.

So she braces herself, using his arms to push herself up off his chest.

“You are  _ mine _ too,” she says fiercely, if a bit watery. She sniffles and looks down at his face.

“And you’re crying because…?” he says looking up at her like he’s waiting for the axe to fall on his neck.

“I am  _ crying _ ,” she says, gripping her hands into his biceps and rocking her hips, “because I love you.” 

“O- okay?” he grunts as she bucks harder against him. 

“Sometimes,” she says, with a particularly hard grind, “I get emotional when I love someone.” Rey watches Ben’s eyes roll back as she starts to speed up, timing her thrusts with her words. “And when someone loves me back,” she pauses, waiting for him to look back up at her. 

“When someone loves you back,” he repeats, bucking his hips up into hers hard enough that she saw stars, “you get attached,”  _ thrust _ , “and then you worry you’re too attached and that they’ll leave.”

He’d taken the words right out of her mouth.

They rock together, finding their rhythm. She slides her hands up so that their fingers are threaded together as their slow, sweet sex turns harder and faster. Rey lowers her chest to his, clenching her walls around him as she feels the climax building inside her.

“I’m not leaving,” he says, squeezing her fingers tighter. He says it again, pounding into her after every word.

She starts sobbing again.

Somehow, they still come together, and when she’s crying into the crook of his neck with his arms wrapped around her, she whispers it too.

“I’m not leaving.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me who randomly gets emotional at inopportune times like these two? Yes? I'll see myself out.
> 
> Thank you to my darling ReylOlds for the embarrassing stories. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> :D


	19. Three Months Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time jump, nightmare, PHux skinnydipping, and a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always to my beta who knows who she is.
> 
> I have no clue how the World Series actually works as far as scheduling and pre-game travel, location choosing, etc. Just...suspend belief for this one.

_ Three months later _

Somehow, Ben thinks, he really should have known it was going to come down to this. Because the way the rest of his year has gone, it’s only natural that the final two teams in the World Series would be First Order and Resistance.

Which means he has to face Luke. Again.

It’s been in the back of his head since he’d seen Luke earlier in the season, the same day he’d met Rey. Fate had a funny way of doing things, and it’s been like a string tugging in his chest since. 

The team meeting is just a formality at this point. This close to the end of the season, the entire team knows which two teams will be playing the final games in the Series. The team meeting room is filled with the restless, excited energy of his teammates as they all wait anxiously to find out which stadium will be hosting the Series. Ben throws himself into a seat near the back, fumbling in his bag for gum, before shoving a piece in his mouth.

The past few months with Rey have done wonders for his nervous habits, but being this close to the end of the season and knowing who they’ll have to play is just… a lot. So he chews the gum to avoid biting the inside of his cheek to a bloody ruin, snapping and popping bubbles, working his jaw into a rhythm. A hand appears in his face, and Ben hands the pack over to Finn who passes it to Poe, who hands it to Phas, who takes the last piece.

Ben sighs.

He runs his hands through his hair and braces his elbows on his knees in an effort to keep his knees from bouncing. It doesn’t work; now his entire body bounces too. It feels like his brain might vibrate out of his skull, and the waiting is like torture. Holdo is taking her sweet time; Ben can see her pacing in the hallway with her phone pressed to her ear. Finally, an eternity later, she puts the phone in her pocket, straightens her suit jacket, and enters the room, walking through the assembled players to be front and center. 

“Well,” Holdo says, “you all know why we’re here. We’re going into the final set of the Series, but you know that. We’re playing against the Resistance, but you know that too.” She pauses for a moment. “It’s rather unusual, two teams owned by the same organization playing against each other. But I digress. The reason we’re here is to find out where we’ll be playing.” She opens a small brown envelope in her hand, pulls out the slip of paper inside, reads it, and replaces it. “It looks like we’ll be playing in Ajan Kloss.”

It seems very anticlimactic. 

Around him, his teammates have similar reactions, shrugging and mumbling.

“Right, well we’ll have travel details and such soon, so… carry on.” Holdo seems distracted, though she’s probably already mapping out plays in her head.

Ben is eternally grateful to the gods, and the school board, that the Series just so happens to coincide with Rey’s school district’s autumn break. Over the past few months, Ben and Rey have rarely spent the nights when he’s home apart. Enough so that he has seriously considered buying her a larger bed because his large frame just doesn’t fit comfortably in her queen-sized bed. So as soon as he gets a free moment, Ben scours the internet for a rental house large enough for Rey, Rose, Kaydel, and all their kids. 

After their weird interrogative dinner, Rose and Kay had accepted him. Rose still called him Sasquatch, and Kay still did her best to make him uncomfortable, but now they had the easy camaraderie of siblings, or at least what he imagined siblings to be like. The same with Finn, though Finn was overly friendly to everyone anyway. And somehow, Ben had finally wrangled Finn into helping him babysit when Rey had invited Rose and Kay to Leia’s weekly brunch. Poe had started coming with Finn, and they’d even invited Hux when Phasma had  _ very strongly _ suggested they should.

So everything had fallen into an easy rhythm, and Ben loved the simple domesticity of their lives now. Rey had even gotten better at cooking - she had surprised him about a month earlier by making him homemade Alfredo sauce  _ and _ homemade bread. She fretted over the vaguely phallic-looking bread loaves, but he’d praised her and the slightly misshapen bread anyway because it was delicious.

Ben knows that Holdo requires the team to all stay together in a block of rooms at the hotel nearest the stadium, which is normal and expected. But he also knows that he’ll sleep better knowing that she’s close by, so he texts her links to three houses so she can choose.

_ Ben: Hey let me know which of these 3 you guys want to stay in. _

**Rey: Cool! i’ve never been there! I’ll show Rose and Kay but my vote is whichever has the nicest main suite *wink wink***

He chuckles out loud at that and wanders aimlessly throughout the stadium. He notices many of his teammates doing the same, nervous energy rippling off all them. 

When Ben encounters Poe, the shorter man is pacing and alternately running his hands through his hair and scrubbing his hands over his face, leaving him looking pretty ragged.

“You okay, man?” Ben asks warily.

Poe grunts, still pacing.

“Poe?”

Poe pauses his pacing, finally looking at Ben.

“We’re playing the Resistance,” Poe says.

“Yes?” Ben isn’t quite certain where this is going.

“We’re playing the  _ Resistance _ ,” Poe repeats.

Oh, right. Poe used to play for them. The pitcher has been on the First Order team for at least half the season, and Ben has practically forgotten where he’d come from and who he’d played for.

“Ah.”  _ Luke. _ Ben shifts uncomfortably. “What did he say to you?” 

“He said that if I left, I was a traitor and not to ever come back,” Poe says through a scowl.

“That sounds familiar,” Ben scoffs, shoving his hands into his pockets.

For a while, they’re both silent, ruminating on the past.

“Why didn’t you play for Resistance,” Poe asks, “after college?”

Ben snorts.

“Luke.” 

Poe quirks a dark eyebrow at him.

“You know I lived with him for a while in junior high and high school,” Ben says, and Poe nods. “Han and Leia sent me there when I started getting more attention from scouts. Living with him was like being some kind of monk. He lived and breathed baseball, it was the  _ way _ for him. It was never like that for me, but I was a kid and didn’t know any better, so I followed along with what he taught me.” Ben feels his shoulders turn inward. “I thought my parents didn’t want me when they shipped me off to him, so I thought I had no other choices. I thought what he said was law. He always wanted to be better, to outshine the Skywalker name after his father had been so horrible.” Ben scowls again, shaking off the rising memories. “Luke always pushed me, harder and harder, always breaking down, but never building up. He said he could see how much I was like Anakin, and I think he was trying to keep me from going down that road, the only way he knew how.”

Poe frowns.

“What  _ did _ happen with your grandfather?” Poe asks. “I’ve heard a lot over the years, but it was before my time.”

“It was before mine too, and no one would ever give me a straight answer,” Ben replies. “I tried to piece things together, though. He started gaining attention really young. One of his coaches convinced his mom that he’d be better off if he lived with the coach’s family, so he could train more. Scouts started watching him in junior high, and at some point all the attention started getting to him. He went to college to study engineering, but he left his senior year to go pro. There had been rumors of partying and drugs, but the college hushed it all up, especially when he did well in the Majors. He married my grandma Padme and got clean for a while, but then more rumors started. Blood doping and cheating, and he started having these…outbursts I guess. Picking fights with teammates and umpires, throwing punches and screaming and getting kicked out of half his games. But he still played too well for them to kick him off the team. He did a lot of gambling in the off-season, and he won really, really big. Big enough to buy out a team even while he was still playing. And I think he got addicted to the power, since he’d been ordered around his whole life and had never made his own choices. He drank and gambled more, and more cheating rumors got started. Padme left him, and it all got worse. And then his car crashed.” Ben shrugs. “He really was a good player, I think he was just lost a long time before it all went bad for him.

Poe’s dark eyes are wide.

“That’s a lot,” Poe says. “And Luke thought you’d be…like him?”

“I guess,” Ben answers. “I idolized Anakin for a long time, watched his games and analyzed his playing style, but I think Luke misinterpreted that. I guess he thought I wanted the power and notoriety, not the way he played. And then when I started getting angry because he was treating me like shit, his reaction was to kick me out. When I was eighteen he threw me out on the street, and I was so broken down that Snoke finally got to me. He’d been skulking around, scouting me for a while. When Luke kicked me out, Snoke took me in, got me tryouts at colleges. Then once he was sure I was good enough for the majors, he started pressuring me to leave Chandrila U. That was the only time I stood up to him, and I paid for it. Once he signed me on at Eff Oh, he started in with the same shit Luke did. Crazy training, ranting and raving about legacies, always telling me I’d never be good enough to live up to my grandfather’s legacy.”

“And Han and Leia just let him treat you that way?” 

“I don’t think they knew. They weren’t around much when I was younger, and when I started getting better, I started getting angrier at them. Then Luke offered to coach me, and I was gone. I felt like I didn’t have anyone to talk to, so I just did whatever he said to do. And then with Snoke, it was more of the same, but by then, it was all I’d known for so long that I just let it happen.”

“Ben,” Poe says, not angrily, but not weakly either, “why didn’t you tell me? I thought we were friends.”

Ben feels his shoulders pull in.

“I didn’t think anyone would care.” 

“If I had known, man…” Poe breaks off.

“Well, it’s better now anyway.” Ben isn’t sure how to feel about this whole conversation, but Poe at least, looks like he feels better.

But Ben is…unsettled, off-kilter. 

The team leaves for Ajan Kloss tomorrow, so he heads home to Rey, exhausted. They fall into bed after dinner, and for once they don’t even fool around. He wraps himself around Rey and falls into restless sleep.

_ Fifteen year old Ben waking up at midnight to Luke scowling down at him.  _

_ “Up. Get up! NOW!” _

_ Ben didn’t groan or complain - he’d learned after the first time that it meant extra laps and pushups and anything else Luke could think of. So he silently followed his grizzled uncle down to the basement gym for another of the old man’s grueling random workouts. Ben hoped Luke wouldn’t make him stay up all night this time; he had a test first period tomorrow. He ran on Luke’s treadmill for what felt like  _ hours _ \- in total silence until out of nowhere Luke started pelting him with baseballs. To teach him how to dodge, supposedly.  _

_ Then Ben was eighteen, Luke was yelling in his face, Ben yelling too.  _

_ “I can’t do this anymore!” _

_ “Then get out.” His uncle’s tone is harsh. _

_ Luke’s face turns to Snoke’s, too close in his face, fetid breath gagging Ben. _

_ “I’ll help you, boy, get you into a good college program, toughen you up before the Majors.”  _

_ Snoke, screaming that Ben is  _ ready,  _ ready to leave school to go pro  _ now _. Ben standing up for himself for once, and paying for it when he joins the First Order team. Extra running, brutal training with no time for sleeping or eating or  _ anything _. Teammates noticing and being tortured too, enough so that after the first year, Ben started scowling and snarling to keep them away, ramming his shoulders into them in the hallways, throwing punches in practices, and Snoke has effectively kept him in isolation until Ben is finally, _ finally _ broken. He follows orders, keeps teammates away with snarls and a bad attitude, sometimes still picking fights. No fan interactions, no dates.  _ Nothing _. So Snoke lets up with the training and Ben bulks up, silently building up even more walls. He paints his face in a black death-mask to strike fear in opposing teams and keep his teammates away. _

_ Snoke, calling him drunk instead of torturing with training. Bloodlines and legacies and bullshit.  _

_ And Ben just takes it. _

_ Takes it, takes it, takes it. _

_ Until. _

Ben jerks upright, drenched in sweat, with Rey frantically smoothing her hands over his upper body. 

“Ben. Ben? Breathe. It was a nightmare.”

Her soft voice is a balm after the rough rawness of the dream.

“I’m here, it’s okay.” She’s still touching him, wrapping her small arms around him as much as she can.

Inhale. Exhale.

Ben curls himself around her, still struggling to breathe and calm himself. Shudders wrack his body, and he buries his face in her hair.

When he can finally pull himself completely from the memories, the tension in his body releases enough that he can fall back against the pillows, pulling Rey against him as he falls. For once, she’s the one who is warm while he shivers, and he pulls her closer, needing to touch her, to be sure she’s real and still there. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” She asks, threading her fingers through his where they rest on her shoulder.

“I talked to Poe today.” And he tells her all of it, the memories he’d dredged up about Luke and Snoke and everything else.

It’s the first time he’s said it all out loud. How he’d let himself be used, how he’d treated his teammates. 

“I think,” she pauses to look him in the eyes and he knows what’s coming, “I think you should tell your parents.

His free hand runs through his hair, catching in the knots made by his tossing and turning.

He sighs.

“You’re probably right.” His eyes squeeze shut at having to deal with it, talk about it all  _ again _ . “But then I’m done with it, okay? It hasn’t bothered me since…” and he trails off. 

But she knows.

She presses a kiss into the skin of his chest, and they drift back to sleep, tangled together. 

Ben wakes abruptly the next morning, the stark reality that he’s going to play in the World Series finally settling over him. It’s what he’d dreamed about as a little kid, before he’d even really known what it meant. He drags his free hand over his face and laments the lack of feeling in his other. Rey has wrapped herself around his arm and leg in the night, and he is loathe to move her, particularly since it’s unlikely that they’ll sleep together again until the series is over. He runs through his mental checklist for what he’ll need to bring and groans at the thought of digging out a suit for the press conference. Rey huffs in her sleep, burying her face further in his shoulder at the light peeking through her curtains.

Her left arm stretches across his torso, and he holds her small hand in his, tracing her fingertips with his thumb, pondering-

She sits bolt upright.

“Breakfast!” She yells, throwing off the blankets.

“What?”

“Breakfast! We were going to make you breakfast!” 

She’s a little bleary-eyed, but she jumps out of bed and races into the kitchen. He chuckles at her enthusiasm, and at the banging sounds and cursing he hears from the kitchen. He also hears a chorus of “swear jar!” from all three kids and pulls himself out of bed to join them. 

Jacen has made coffee, and Ben nods gratefully when the boy hands him a cup. The nightmare and lost sleep have left him with something akin to a hangover, and he’d like to be coherent before he leaves for the ride to Ajan Kloss. Rey ushers him to a seat, refusing to let him see what she’s cooking, though the smells and number of things cooking on the stove give him a pretty good idea. She’s letting the kids help her, and Ben smiles into his coffee mug while they do more singing and dancing than actual cooking. 

He is not surprised when Rey plunks a rather enormous bowl of her breakfast spaghetti in front of him and mouths “sorry” and gestures at the kids. It’s still kind of odd, having noodles combined with breakfast foods, but it’s still delicious, and he says so. Jaina and Alema preen and grin through their noodles, and Jacen tries to pretend he’s not proud of himself. As usual, Rey tucks into her food with gusto, praising the kids and asking questions about the upcoming Series. 

Ben is once again struck, as he has often been over the past few months, at the simple domesticity they’ve settled into. Shared smiles with Rey over their coffee mugs, conversations with the girls that he can’t quite follow about princesses and knights, talking stats with Jacen. Sometimes he and Rey cook together. Sometimes the kids help. And every time he has to leave, his heart constricts and won’t loosen until they’re back together. 

Eventually, he drags himself out of his seat to help do dishes. Rey’s got a distant look in her eyes that Ben knows means she’s trying to hide her sadness at him leaving.

“It’s only for a few days, sweetheart,” he says into her hair.

“It could be a whole week!” 

Ben prays to the gods of baseball, if there are such, that it will not be a week. Facing Luke again in his nightmares had been unpleasant enough, and he’d rather not have to do it again for a week straight.

“Can we at least see you? Before or after games?” Her green eyes peer up at him hopefully.

“I don’t think Holdo minds,” he says, “but it’ll probably be pretty limited. We’ll have press conferences and practices and meetings and shit.” 

Her nose scrunches up at him before she stands up on her toes to kiss him. 

“Swear jar,” she whispers against his lips, and he huffs a laugh against hers.

Once his things are all gathered and in his car, Ben comes back in the house for final goodbyes. Alema and Jaina are racing around, darting around his legs. 

“Bye, Daddy!” Jaina screams, kissing him when he leans down. 

Ben kisses her back and stands before her words hit him. He looks up into Rey’s widened eyes, and watches the tendon in Jacen’s jaw tighten in a painfully familiar way. 

Well, shit, now he has to fix this.

“Jacen, can we talk?” 

_________________________________________________

Rey watches Ben’s back as he and Jacen go into the kitchen. Worry washes over her; Jacen has been doing so much better over the past few months, but she hasn’t seen him look quite like this either. She isn’t sure if the boy is upset because he thinks his sister thinks Ben is her dad, or if it’s because Jacen thinks Jaina has forgotten their parents altogether. And she isn’t sure which is worse. 

Sighing, Rey rounds up the girls and gathers their things for an impromptu trip to the library with the hope that it will cheer Jacen up a bit. Jaina runs around like a demon with a face somehow covered in peanut butter, though Rey has no idea how it happened, and Rey has nearly forgotten the whole incident when Ben and Jacen return from the kitchen.

They both look considerably happier than when they left for their chat, and Rey is again grateful for Ben’s calming influence on both her and her kids. She thanks whatever lucky stars or gods or whoever sent him into her life for what is probably the millionth time as he smiles down at her. They all walk out to his sleek black car for another goodbye.

“I love you,” she says into his skin before pressing a kiss into the column of his throat.

“I know.” He grins and kisses her forehead before she can swat him. “I love you too,” he whispers into her hair as he wraps her in a hug. 

Rey sighs into his tight black tee and rubs her face into the fabric to get the scent of his cologne in her hair. 

“You need to go.”

“I do.” He makes no move to leave.

“Ben!” She pokes him in the ribs, earning a grin and a sore finger for her efforts.

“Fine, if you’re so eager to have me leave,” he says, pretending to scowl, but drops the expression quickly. He waves to the kids, climbs into the car and drives off. 

________________________________________

Somehow Rey, Rose, and Kaydel manage to get all of their kids safely to Ajan Kloss despite the four hour drive and an exorbitant amount of potty breaks. Ben has rented an enormous house with enough space for all twelve of them to sleep comfortably, and she hopes that he’ll be able to visit them between games because the house is enormous and lovely, right on the beach. Rey can hear the waves through her open window and imagines what it would be like in summer, with a blazing sun and laughing children. She makes a mental note to price out a vacation, now that she can afford something more than their annual trip to the local amusement park. 

Once all of their things are unpacked, everyone packs back up and heads to the stadium. Leia, as owner of both teams playing, has an entire skybox and has invited Rey and her cadre to join her and Han for the games. When they arrive, they present their passes to the gate attendant who leads them up a few flights of stairs into an enormous glass-and-chrome box. The view is  _ incredible _ . Jacen immediately runs over to the bank of windows and peers down at the field and starts spouting off trivia about it, but Rey can only half listen while she corrals Jaina and Alema back away from the glass so they don’t leave nose prints on it. Several TV screens line the walls, and Rey points out Ben on one; they can see the whole stadium from the box, but they’re so high up it’s hard to see the players’ faces.

Rey introduces Han to Rose and Kaydel and the other kids, and they all settle down into their fancy reclining chairs to watch as the game starts. 

As the game progresses, Ben seems…off. The whole team seems slightly nervous or uncomfortable, even indomitably unshakable Finn, but Ben seems especially so. His usually graceful movements, surprising for such a big man, are tight and jerky and not like himself. Beside her, Jacen hisses through his teeth and clamps his jaw shut every time Ben makes a play, and Rey can only assume it’s not going well. The scoreboard would agree with her, it’s seven to four at the bottom of the eighth, and the Resistance fans are going wild in the stadium below. Leia and Han share glances in that “we’ve been married so long we can speak telepathically” kind of way, and Rey wonders what they’re thinking. As for Rey, she’s worried for Ben. His shoulders round after every failed out, and even from a distance, she can read him well enough to know that he’s clenching his fists at his sides. Thankfully, his uncle hasn’t been present much on the sidelines, so she can only assume his odd behavior stems from nerves and the pressure of making it to the World Series. 

When the game is over, even Jaina is subdued at the loss.

“Cheer up, guys, there are at least three more games left,” Han says in a lame attempt to bolster their spirits. Leia glares at him, and he raises his hands in defeat. “I’m just sayin’ they could do better tomorrow. The first game is always the worst.” 

“You’re right,” Leia says. “Now, who wants a pretzel before the shops close?” That lifts the kids’ spirits at least.

It is very late when Ben arrives at the rented beach house, with still-wet hair and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. The girls are asleep, but he quietly kisses them each on the forehead after depositing his bag in Rey’s room. Jacen is awake and reading, and Rey can hear him and Ben having a low conversation in the other room. Probably Jacen asking about the game and if Ben is okay. Fidgeting with the hem of her oversized baseball tee, Rey waits on the edge of her bed for him to come back in her room. When Ben finally comes back in, he flips the light switch off and flops down on the bed beside her and throws an arm over his eyes. 

The room is dark, lit only by the faint glow of the hallway light outside her door. 

“Ben?” Rey asks. He hadn’t even kissed her hello.

“Yeah?” His voice is hoarse, but faint, like he’s much farther away.

“You okay?” She nudges him with her knee.

He sighs in response.

“Wanna talk about it?” She asks.

Ben sits up.

“You saw the game.” 

“Yes,” she replies, “but there are more-“

“I know that.” He cuts her off and slides off the bed, kneeling beside the duffel he’d dropped earlier to unlace his running shoes. “It’s just…” he trails off, looking up at her, his face unreadable.

“It’s just what?” She’s frustrated. Why won’t he talk?

His brows crease and the tendon in his jaw flexes like he’s practicing the words in his head before saying them aloud. He looks down. 

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

And Rey’s heart sinks to her toes.

_________________________________________________

Gwendoline Brienne Phasma is well aware of how badly her team played tonight, and the loss stings. They’re at the World fucking Series; they should be  _ better _ . 

She walks along the beach, hand in hand with Armie, feeling the tiny, cold waves splash over her ankles. Armie, because he’s a delicate ginger flower, chooses to avoid the water, and their arms are stretched out as far as they can reach, just so he won’t freeze his little toes off. Phas chuckles quietly, but sobers again quickly to return to that steely mindset she has so carefully cultivated. 

A tiny white crab scuttles along the dunes in front of them, and Armie nearly crushes it before she jerks him back. They stand still to let it pass, and a particularly large wave rushes up the sand, this one reaching her knees and passing over Armie’s exceptionally pale feet. He screeches like a wounded monkey. Naturally, Gwen pulls him further into the water. He lets her, but he lifts his knees high to his chest as if to avoid stepping on...something. She’s not sure what; the beach is pristine and the only wildlife was the tiny crab he’d nearly obliterated.

She rolls her sweats up higher on her thighs and goes deeper into the waves, tugging along a very reluctant Hux. Then she gets an idea and grins evilly. Gwen bolts back out of the water, past the tideline, and quickly strips off her clothes. Hux shrieks at her when she races past him, out to chest-deep water and dives in. She surfaces and dives again into the frigid water, enjoying its freezing burn tingling over her skin. When she surfaces again, a shivering Armie is beside her with his arms crossed over his chest. She cocks a platinum brow at him. 

“I’m only out here,” he says shivering, “to rescue you if you get swept out to sea.” 

Gwen snorts.

“If anything,  _ I  _ will be rescuing  _ you _ .” 

Armie grins at her, then his sharp fox’s features soften. 

“You do rescue me, you know,” he says quietly, but not weakly. 

For a time, Gwen is silent, listening to the waves crashing, letting her body bob along in the freezing water.

“We should get married,” she says suddenly and turns her body in the water to face him.

“Of course we should. I’ve been waiting ages for you to ask me.” He sniffs primly. “Do I get a ring?”

“You bloody wanker, of course you get a ring.” She threads their fingers together, and they share a kiss that  _ almost  _ makes them forget about the frigidity of the water. 

Until a particularly large wave rolls in to crash over their heads, sending them spluttering and laughing back to shore. 

_________________________________________________

“It’s just been too hard lately, and I don’t know if it’s even what I want anymore.” It feels good for Ben to finally say the words out loud. He’s been feeling unsettled for a while, and he’d come to the conclusion on the bus to Ajan Kloss. “I feel like this is a good time for it to end, you know?” He places his shoes neatly beside the duffel bag and unzips it. “It’s been a good run, but I think it’s over.” He lets out a breath that feels cleansing, but final.

Rey sniffles above him. Ben raises his eyes to meet hers, and she’s…crying?

“What happened?” She whispers. “What did I do?” 

“What?” He blinks up at her, confused. 

“I said,” she growls through her tears, “what did I  _ do _ ? Why is it over?”

What is she-

Wait.

“Rey, sweetheart,  _ no.”  _ Ben edges himself over to where she still sits on the edge of the bed and rests his chin on her knees. He reaches up to brush her tears away with his thumbs. “Rey,” he says, “I want to  _ retire _ .”

“You- what?”

“I think now is a good time for me to retire. I only ever wanted to make it to the Series, and now we’re here. Go out on top, you know?” 

“I just-  _ what _ ?” 

He appears to have broken her brain.

“Rey.  _ Rey _ .” He sits back on his heels and runs his hand through his hair. “You didn’t think I-“

Now she cuts him off.

“You were being weird!” Her voice is watery. “You didn’t even kiss me and you said you couldn’t do this anymore! What else was I supposed to think?” She crosses her arms over her chest and inhales shakily.

For a moment, Ben thinks that maybe he shouldn’t do this now, he had had  _ plans _ , dammit, but he wants to reassure her. So he pulls the bag closer, and pulls out the gift he has for her, fiddling with the bottom layer a bit before placing it on her lap. She’s confused at the pile of fabric that lands on her lap, and she arches a brow at him. He grins at her, watching her unfold the tiny black First Order jersey. 

“That’s nice, Ben, but-“

“Turn it around.”

He knows what she’ll see when she turns it. His number, five, and-

She inhales sharply. 

“ _ Solo _ ? Ben, what does this mean?” 

“Tomorrow, at the game, they’re honoring Han, and…” he pauses for a breath, “I’m going to be playing under my real name for the first time.”

“But this is  _ tiny _ ,” she says, holding up the jersey for inspection. 

“Well, yeah,” he says like it’s obvious. “That one’s for Jaina. I got one for each of you.”

“You- but- for all of us?” She looks like she might cry again.

“Of course. Jacen’s gonna flip his shit.” Ben chuckles at the thought. “You should try yours on, though.” 

She grins and unfolds the other two jerseys before finally getting to hers. Ben’s heart is pounding out of his chest, and he’s not sure he can breathe. 

Because it’s Rey, and because she’s excited, she flaps her jersey out in front of her rather than unfold it, so naturally she doesn’t hear the small thud of the velvet box hitting the carpet. Ben contains his laugh and retrieves the box holding it out in front of her, waiting while she pulls the jersey over her head rather than fiddling with all the buttons. 

“It’s softer than I imagined,” she says, smoothing her hands over the fabric. “I love it!” And then she  _ finally _ looks back at him after an eternity and gasps.

“Rey?” He’d thought his hands would shake when he proposed to her. He’d thought he’d be nervous and awkward, but it’s Rey, so how could he be. “I want the name on that jersey to be your name too.” 

She does the thing, the both hands over the mouth thing, that all women seem to do when a ring box appears in front of them. 

“Rey, will you be my wife?”

Her hands  _ are _ shaking when he slides the ring over her finger, but then her hands are in his hair and she throws herself on him hard enough that he falls backward on the carpet. She kisses him hard, her hands tugging at the hem of his shirt, then sliding beneath it when he doesn’t remove it fast enough. Her hips rock into his, and she moans against his mouth before trailing her lips over his jaw and down his neck. When she finally succeeds in getting them both undressed, she hovers over him, pressing his tip just inside her entrance, and he groans and resists the urge to push her down and split her open. Rey pulls on his hands, threading their fingers together. Ben watches the muscles of her thighs tighten as she holds herself over him, sliding back and forth, using his tip to spread her arousal over them both. Her hands grip his tightly as she sinks down, fully sheathing him inside her. Rey’s head tips back as she rides him, flexing her thighs and rolling her hips. 

The ring glints on her finger, and the animal part of his brain crows  _ mine forever _ .

Ben jerks his hips up to meet her, and she pushes his hands over his head and leans down, bringing their chests together. Their skin burns where it meets, and Ben has to fight not to flip her over and pound her into the carpet. 

Rey’s thighs tighten over his hips, and her cunt grips his cock tighter when she comes, and she’s so undone that it sends him over the edge with her. They collapse back to the carpet in a sweaty heap, panting and spent. She kisses the flesh over his heart, then bites and sucks a mark there, looking pleased at having marked him as hers. 

“Rey?” 

“Hmm?” She sounds like she’s already almost asleep.

“You never actually said yes.”

Rey lets out an enormous sigh and rolls her eyes theatrically. 

“Yes,  _ fine _ , I’ll be your wife.” She pulls his head down and kisses his forehead.

“The jerseys weren’t just for you, you know.” Ben sits up to look at her properly.

“You mean you want to-“

“Of course I do. I know we haven’t talked about that, but I know you wanted to adopt them, and they’re my family now, too.” 

And she starts sobbing again as she throws her arms around him.

This time  _ he  _ lowers  _ her  _ to the carpet.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The World Series continues, but we don't see much baseball. 👀 Feel free to tell me if you'd like to see more actual sportsball in the story, but I know we're really all just here for Baseball Daddy Ben in his white pants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated.
> 
> Thanks as always to skyeryder01 for the beta read.
> 
> I can't apologize enough for this taking so long. SIH is my happy place story, and it's hard to write that when you're watching the world burn.
> 
> Also. The chapter count went up. Again.

When Rey and all the others arrive at the stadium for the second game of the Series, they are met at the gate by Han and Leia, who remain suspiciously quiet about the engagement. So much so, that Rey suspects that Ben hasn’t told his parents. Despite her developing relationship with Leia and Han over the past few months, Rey feels nervous about announcing that she and Ben are now engaged. They hadn’t had time to discuss…anything…the previous night, so Rey isn’t sure if Ben wanted to be the one to tell them, or if he wanted to talk to them together. 

So, as they walk slowly through the stadium, she decides to just remain silent, although, with Leia’s eagle eyes, she doubts that the ring will go unnoticed for long. Probably because Rey can’t stop herself from looking at it. The marquise cut diamond surrounded by smaller stones set in a scrolling halo with the delicately scalloped band set with more stones is  _ exactly _ what she would have picked for herself if she’d ever allowed herself to dream about such things. 

But she never  _ had _ dreamt about it. On the very rare occasion the thought of marriage or even  _ permanence _ entered her mind, she promptly shut it down. Nothing had been permanent. Not her parents. Not Maz who had left to travel the world after Rey and Finn had aged out of the system; they still saw her of course, but she wasn’t  _ there _ . Not even her foster children would have been permanent. They likely would have been adopted or transferred to new fosters, essentially leaving her like all the others. She hadn’t loved any of them any less for it, but she expected everyone and everything to leave.

But now that big, beautiful, amazing Ben Solo had crashed his tight-baseball-pants-wearing ass into her life, all of that had changed. He needed her as much as she needed him, and they were getting  _ married _ . He wanted to adopt her kids. 

It is…permanent, and Rey is still reeling.

Beside her, Rose keeps looking over at Rey and grinning like a loon and waggling her eyebrows as she looks down at where Rey’s hand is linked with Jaina’s. As she has done every ten seconds since the night before, Rey looks down at her left hand, and the faint sparkle of the ring makes her breath catch in her throat. 

She  _ really _ needs to get a grip.

The walk across the stadium takes years. Years in which Rey imagines every possible way she can break the news to Ben’s parents. “Hi, guys, your son wants to spend the rest of his life with me, hope you’re okay with that.” Or “Oh, by the way, Leia, Ben asked me to marry him, and then we had sex on the floor until he had to go back to the hotel to stay with the team because of Holdo’s weird rules." 

Jacen running the last few yards to the door of the skybox breaks her from her reverie. Ben, already in his still-pristine uniform, waits outside the door, grinning at her and bumping knuckles with Jacen. Jaina runs to him too, so he kneels down to pick her up. Alema wriggles her hand out of Han’s grip so she can climb on him too. Behind Rey, Rose snickers audibly and pokes Rey in the ribs. 

“It’s your  _ hubby _ , Rey.”

Rey rolls her eyes and grits her teeth before smiling up at Ben. She’s glad to see him, even if it is a bit unexpected. 

“Hi?” she says, more of a question than a greeting.

Ben gently sets down the girls, then pulls Rey into him. For some inexplicable reason, he put on cologne, and the familiar scent is comforting as her face rests against the smooth fabric of his jersey. 

“I’m sorry for what’s about to happen,” he whispers into her hair. “I should’ve known better, but I wasn’t thinking when I texted Mom last night.”

“Wait, what?” 

From somewhere behind her, Leia speaks.

“Are we going to just stand here, or are we going inside the box?” Rey hears a hint of something in Leia’s voice, but as she turns to look at the older woman, Leia gently pushes her forward as Ben opens the door.

Balloons erupt from the door in a cascade of blue, white, and gold. The kids, even Rose and Kay’s older kids, dart forward to push through the mass of mylar blocking the door. Rey glances up at Ben who sighs good-naturedly and nods toward Leia. Rey turns to face Leia, but before she can fully face the other woman, Leia has enveloped Rey in a very tight hug. 

“I’m so happy for you two!” Leia squeezes Rey, then steps back and takes both of Rey’s hands in her own. “When Benji asked me for the ring, I knew it was coming, but he didn’t tell me anything else.” At Rey’s unspoken question, Leia clarifies. “The ring was my mother’s.”

Rey feels something well up inside her at the family heirloom she now wore. It somehow means more knowing it had belonged to someone in Ben’s family, and she loves him that much more for offering it to her.

“I didn’t know,” Rey chokes back a sob and tries to hide it by hugging Leia fiercely. Ben hadn’t told her that the ring had belonged to his grandmother, and she had had no idea that she now possessed a family heirloom. It makes her feel closer to him somehow, closer to his family in a way that she never felt before, and she’d never had anything like that from her own parents. 

Emotion overtook her until she felt Ben’s fingers thread through hers as he gently tugged her into the SkyBox. 

“Let’s see if the kids left any food for us,” he said, chuckling.

“Ha! I’d be more worried about Rose and Kay getting into what appear to be mimosas.” Rey laughs too, still feeling overwhelmed. 

Inside the room were more decorations and food than she could have imagined, and Rey almost immediately lost sight of Leia in the midst of all the balloons. 

“How did this,” Rey gestures at the monstrosity around them, “happen?” 

Ben grimaces.

“After I left last night,” and Rey is faintly pleased to see the tips of his ears turn pink where they peek through his hair, “I called mom. I thought she’d want to know.”

“And she did all of this that quickly?” Rey arches a brow at him.

“Ah, no. I imagine her assistant did most of the work,” Ben rolls his eyes but there’s no malice behind it. He pulls down a particularly large balloon shaped like a ring and hands it to Rey.

She lightly bops him over the head with it, then dashes away to hide behind a column of even more balloons. Ben just rolls his eyes and grins at her, snatching a plate off the table that appears to be filled with the contents of the entire menu of Leia’s favorite restaurant, and filling it with food. The kids are distracted with the balloons and treats, and Rose and Kay are distracted by the mimosas, so Ben and Rey hide together behind the balloon column, sitting on the floor and sharing the food he’d pilfered. Rey notes that Ben is extremely careful with the food, going so far as to spread napkins over his lap, so she flicks one of the napkins with a finger and arches a brow in silent question. He scowls a bit.

“These goddamn white pants. Holdo would come after me if she saw me with,” he pauses to inspect the plate, “whole grain mustard and blackberry jam on me.” He sighs. “I hate these pants. They show everything. 

Rey stuffs an artisanal sesame seed cracker spread with sheep’s milk cheese and the jam into her mouth before responding.

“Yeah, they do.” She looks up to Ben who is somehow simultaneously grinning and gaping at her.

“Oh, yeah?”

Rey feels her cheeks burn, despite the fact that she’s going to marry the man.

“Yeah,” Rey squeaks.

“What exactly do they show, Rey?” His voice does that thing she loves when he gets intense.

She takes a gulp of her champagne. It helps a bit.

“Did you know that I  _ still _ don’t know anything about baseball?”

“Don’t change the subject, Rey.”

“I’m not. Do you know  _ why _ I don’t know anything about baseball, Ben?”

“Feel free to enlighten me.” He smirks at her from behind his glass. Water, though, no champagne for Mister Professional Baseball Player. 

Leaning in closer, Rey gives him a long once-over, licking her lips.

“Mostly I just watch your ass, but when you run…” She trails off, grinning at the surprise on his face. “Did you know that you have great thighs, Ben? You’re like a fucking tree in the  _ best _ way.” Her hand trails up his thigh, feeling the muscles beneath the thick fabric tense at her touch as she dragged her hand higher. “I also spend a lot of time trying to see what else is under there, too. But those damn compression shorts kind of block the view.” Rey pretends to pout up at Ben, whose eyes are still widened in surprise. 

Slowly, Rey takes Ben’s plate and sets it to the side with hers, then she settles herself between his spread legs. His hands rest on her hips as she leans forward to press a kiss to his jaw, nipping slightly. Fingers dig into her hips as she moves closer, tucking her body against his, reaching between them to slide her hand over the waistband of his pants, tugging out the jersey he’d so meticulously tucked in. Nails scratching lightly over the dusting of dark hair that trails beneath the waistband of his uniform, Rey chuckles when Ben hisses as she uses her other hand to stroke him. 

“Rey,” he groans, “there are people around.”

“So,” she replies, “they’re not paying attention to us.”

“Actually,” Rose says from right behind her, and Rey jumps removing her hand from Ben’s pants, “they are.” She winks at Ben. “Nice job on the ring, Sasquatch.”

Rey scowls up at Rose, who grins like a demon before walking away, but Ben is already readjusting his uniform.

“I should probably go anyway,” he says as he hauls himself to his feet.

Rey watches as he says his goodbyes to his parents and the kids, and follows him to the door of the SkyBox, where she stands on her toes to kiss him.

“We’ll pick up where we left off later, yeah?” She grins up at him when his hands tighten around her waist.

“Definitely,” he growls against her neck before he takes off down the stairs to join the team for their pre-game rituals.

When Rey returns to the SkyBox, the kids are all over the place as she expected. The sugar and excitement have hit them hard, but she smiles, knowing how hard they’ll crash when they go home. Maybe before. Making her way over to where Han has Jaina on his lap, Rey snags another handful of snacks and prepares herself for more baseball.

When the cameras pan over the teams during the national anthem, Rey sees Ben grinning, and it looks like the goofy smile is still on his lips when he runs out to center before the game starts. It’s such a difference from how she first saw him, with the eyeblack and perpetual scowl, that she giggles and makes a note to remember to tell him what she thought when she first saw him. Until she sees him look directly into the camera with an evil smile and a little swivel of his hips that has her swooning in her seat. As always when she watches him play, Rey pays more attention to Ben himself than the game he plays. She loves seeing him roll his shoulders and tap his bat on his cleats before squaring up to swing, loves the brace of his large hands on his muscular thighs when he waits in the outfield for the next ball to come his way. And she especially loves the white pants that cling to those damn tree-trunk thighs and muscular ass. Though she can’t see them, she knows exactly how the muscles in his back would ripple every time he swings the bat, and every time he does it, Rey can feel those bunching muscles beneath her fingertips and she has to clench her thighs  _ and _ her jaw to keep from squirming and moaning. Somehow, it seems like he’s being more…athletic than usual. Finding excuses to jog more, or to lean over bracing his hands on his knees, and occasionally winking up at the camera or licking his lips Rey curses herself for sitting beside his mother, who eyes her knowingly. So Rey pretends to focus more on the game. Thank the gods we’re getting married, she thinks, or I would have to turn into a baseball groupie. 

~~~~~~~~~

The second game goes much better than the first, and the First Order wins in a shut-out, so Ben is in high spirits when he arrives at the rental house. And he silently thanks Leia for the amounts of sugar she gave the kids because they’re all passed out, even Jacen. But as soon as he gets through the door, Rey grabs the front of his jersey and  _ drags _ him into her room, locking the door behind her and shoving him back against it.

“I need a shower. You can join-” he begins, but she interrupts him. 

“Shut up,” she says. “Take it off,” she growls at him.

Ben blinks down at her.

“You heard me,” she says.

With a bemused expression, Ben unbuttons the black jersey and drops it to the floor, but when he starts to take off the pants, she holds up a finger.

“Not those.” 

Ben blinks at her again, raising an eyebrow. 

What is she-

“You were fucking with me for the whole game,  _ Benjamin _ .”

Oh, shit.

He was already getting hard with no clue where this was going, but her tone has him straining against the tightness of his compression shorts.

“Come here,” she snaps.

And all six foot three inches of him is helpless to resist his tiny fiancée, so he does as he’s told.

“Kiss me,” she orders. So he cups her face in his hands and kisses her gently, teasing her. She snarls against his lips and rakes her nails down his back, before she digs them into his ass, jerking his hips forward against her body. Ben groans against her mouth, but her kiss turns punishing as she bites his lower lip. Hard. He hisses into her mouth and she digs her nails in deeper. The pain of his straining erection against the extreme tightness of the shorts is almost agonizing, but whatever Rey is doing is  _ working _ , so he is not about to stop her. 

Rey’s right hand slides around his hip and down his thigh to behind his left knee, tugging his leg between her own. He feels the heat of her core through his pants and tries to pull her upper body against his, but she resists, grinding her cunt over his thigh. The oversized tee, his, he notes with male satisfaction, she’d changed into gets pulled over her head, revealing a pair of white cotton panties. Ben takes in the peaks of her breasts and the slide of her heat over his thigh as she raises slightly on her toes to grind herself into him again. The thin cotton of her underwear gets wetter and more translucent with every stroke of her body over his, and Ben finds his hands wrapping around her hips to move her faster, but she jerks his hands upward, placing them on her tits instead. His thumbs brush over the soft pink tips of her nipples, and her hands reach around behind him to dig her nails into his ass.

“You teased me,” she said. Not a question.

“I did.” There’s no point denying it.

“You wanted me…what? Dripping wet for you and waiting so you could come home and fuck me?” Her voice is breathless, but she’s still holding on to her false anger.

“Yes?” Ben watches, enraptured, as she adds a slight swivel to her hips, eyes rolling back at the change in sensation.

“I was beside your  _ mother _ .” Her words are between a hiss and a moan as she continues rocking her hips over him. “I wanted you so  _ bad _ .” 

“I know, sweetheart, I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t want you to be sorry,  _ Benjamin _ , I want you to fuck me.  _ After _ I come like this.” 

She’s close; he can tell, and it takes every ounce of willpower Ben possesses not to yank his pants down and throw her over the bed.

But this side of Rey is new and exciting, and he wants to see where it will lead. 

Rey’s fingers tighten where she’s gripping his ass, and her movements become more frantic until she lets out a little moan and a sigh as her back arches and she falls against him.

After a moment, she backs up to look up at him. A flush creeps over her chest and up her cheeks as she dimples up at him.

“Um, hi,” she says, blinking.

“Hi.” He wraps his arms around her.

She grins up at him nervously, but he pulls her in closer.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. 

She ducks her head, tucking her face in against his chest.

“That was kind of weird,” she said, “I’ve never done that before.

Ben huffed a laugh in her ear.

“I kind of liked it,” he whispered, “We should do it more often.” 

“Oh yeah?” She gets a mischievous look on her face and pokes him in the chest. “About that shower…” She trails off, hooking her fingers beneath the waistband of his stupid white pants that she seems to love. Rey tugs gently until he helps her peel off the pants and compression shorts beneath so that she can see just how much he enjoyed how she’d used him. Her little hand wraps around him, stroking, and she walks backward into the bathroom. Ben follows her, and her hand remains on him the whole time. 

“Turn the water on,” she commands.

She grins up at him evilly, releasing her hold on his cock.

Ben nearly groans at the loss of contact but does as she says. When he turns back to face her, he stares pointedly down at the soaked cotton of her underwear.

“May I?” He asks, but it comes out more like a groan as he slides the tips of his fingers beneath the waistband, caressing the soft skin beneath.

“You may.” Rey’s voice is breathless.

Ben kneels, tugging the white cotton down with him slowly, tracing his fingers down the outsides of her legs, teasing her again. She shivers at his touch but says nothing. When the brush of his fingers reach her ankles, she eases out of the confines of her panties and spreads her legs slightly, tipping her hips forward and grinning down at him.

He knows what she wants, but he won’t give it to her yet. Instead, he traces his fingers back up her legs again, teasing her to see if he can bring out that playful side again. Ben rests his forehead against her abdomen, still teasing her with light touches over the crease where her thighs and hips meet. Blowing lightly against her skin, Ben watches her shiver.

“Ben,” she pleads, tipping her head back.

He ignores her, wrapping his arms behind her to grip into the globes of her ass to hold her still. Steam begins to fill the bathroom, and the heat of her combined with the steam is nearly too much, so he tightens his arms around her thighs and stands with his face still pressed against her. She giggles and pounds her hands on his shoulders.

“Ben!” She laughs when she says his name.

Loosening his grip enough for her to slide down and wrap her legs around his waist, Ben carries them both into the shower. The water is hot enough that she squeals when they enter the spray. He leans down to press his lips to hers, feeling her nails dig into his back. He groans against her lips and grinds into her as he traces his tongue over her bottom lip. She bites his bottom lip in retaliation and tightens her thighs around him, pressing the heat of her core closer to him. Ben groans into her mouth and turns her to press into the shower wall, adjusting the shower so she doesn’t freeze against the cold tile. She rocks against him again, the warmth of her sliding over his throbbing cock making him growl against her mouth. Rey reaches between them and wraps her hand around him, pumping a few times before notching his head into her slick entrance. She shoves her hips down, claiming him in one stroke. As her back arches, she uses the shower wall and the anchor of her thighs around him to shift her hips in a circle. Bracing one arm behind her, Ben uses the other to knead a breast, pinching and rolling her nipple and licking and sucking the other until she’s breathless and writhing on his cock. Matching her rhythm, Ben fucks her against the shower wall, and they come together beneath the spray. 

~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Rey scrambles to wash all of the new Solo jerseys; they’d worn them to the previous game, but she wants them to be especially crisp for tonight’s game. Game three honors the year’s recipients of the inductees to the Hall of Fame, and Han is being given special honors. Leia has arranged for all of the family, including Rose, Kaydel, and all of their kids to sit down in the stadium, rather than the box. They’ll be right behind home plate, and Jacen is ecstatic to be sitting in such prime seats at the  _ Series _ . Jaina and Alema are excited at the prospect of the snacks they’ll be able to coerce out of Leia. And Rey…Rey is excited for Ben to see her in the jersey with his name on it.

And for him to see the white baseball pants she’d bought at the stadium’s gift shop. Short of the jersey, she’d bought the full uniform, hat, black-and-red striped tall socks, and black running shoes in place of cleats. She’d splurged and bought them for Jaina and Alema too since Jacen already had the uniform. Rey had  _ plans _ for that uniform. Extra pains had been taken in the bathroom while she’d changed to tuck the jersey in  _ just so _ so that she knew the curve of her hips and ass would drive Ben crazy whenever he saw her. Whenever she thought about it she felt an evil grin cross her face.

Payback’s name was Rey.

When they all arrive at the stadium, Leia, Han, Chewie, Finn, and Ben are waiting for them at the gate. While they cross toward the gate, Rey watches Ben’s eyes roam over her, seeing the jersey, but she’s deliberately keeping the kids in front of her to hide the tight, white pants. When Rey and the other reach the little group at the gate, Han, Leia, and Chewie hug the kids, and Rey goes up on her toes to kiss Ben before he can see what she’s wearing. As his hands slide down her back, he stiffens against her when his hands come across the belt and drop down to her hips. She can feel him shift to look down her back, past the black and red of the jersey. Holding her breath, Rey waits for Ben to slide his hands over the white-clad swell of her ass, but Jaina runs up and tugs on both their hands.

“Wey! Ben! We match! Look!” Jaina shoves her little hands in the pockets of her miniature pants that are a smaller copy of Ben’s. Ben looks down and takes in Jaina’s outfit, and Rey watches as Ben takes in Alema and Jacen’s uniforms too. 

“Let’s take a picture!” Alema says, running over to grab Ben and Rey’s other hands, tugging them toward the others.

Ben laughs and scoops up the girls, and Rey leans over to wrap her arms around Jacen to squeeze him in a hug. Rose whips her phone out and snaps several photos, offering direction and rearranging like the tiny tyrant she is. Eventually, she drags Han into the photo because, for whatever reason, he’s forgone the usual suit and has donned his old uniform. Then she drags in Finn, and finally, everyone is all grouped around Rey and Ben and their kids, and Rose hands her phone to a stranger for a massive group photo, and Rey can’t stop smiling.

Until Ben’s hand sneaks into her back pocket and squeezes.

“Nice outfit, sweetheart,” he growls into her ear. “Let me see the back.”

Rey can’t help but shiver at the order in his voice, and she spins around for him, cocking her hip out at a provocative angle. Heat radiates off Ben when he turns her back around and pulls her against his body.

“I’m going to enjoy taking these off.” 

They’re interrupted by Han doing a silly little dance in front of Leia, who giggles and swats at him, and Han immediately picks her up and spins her around before planting a big, sloppy kiss right on Leia’s lips. At that moment, Rey is struck by the intense similarities in Ben and Han. Sure, they both look great in their uniforms, but it’s deeper. It’s in the way that she catches Han looking at Leia when Leia isn’t watching. It’s the same look she’s seen on Ben’s face when she catches him looking at her. Warmth spreads out from somewhere deep inside her, and she grins even bigger, looking back and forth between Ben and his father. Rey sees Leia eyeing Han the way she knows she eyes Ben, and she has to look away from the private moment. Her gaze swings back to Ben, who has once again been swarmed by kids and is somehow wrangling them all at once while still managing to hold a conversation with Jacen and Finn, probably about the game.

Eventually, though, Finn, Han, and Ben have to return to the dugout, and all the others make their way down into the stadium. 

Because Leia is Leia, she’d arranged for the Jakku kids to take part in all of the usual activities. Dizzy bat race, t-shirt cannons, giant hamster balls, passing out various junk food to sections between innings, everything. All of the kids are excited and sugar-rushing, but so are Rey, Rose, and Kay. Even the baseball team seems to have higher energy fresh off the win the previous night. Finn does a little bouncing dance while he’s crouching down to catch, and Poe somehow seems cockier than usual, obviously winking at Finn and making suggestive little hip movements. Rey’s excited to see that she and Ben aren’t the only ones feeling so…into each other during the series. 

Every time they leave their seats, Rey makes sure to put a little extra swish in her hips for Ben’s benefit. Sometimes he’s out in center so she can’t tell if he’s watching, but when he’s still in the dugout, she can feel his eyes burning over her, his eyes tracing where she wants his hands and mouth to be. 

“Keep it in your pants, Niima,” Rose grins at Rey over her extra-large stadium cup of tepid beer. Rey sips her own.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rey answers primly and takes another sip. 

Rose and Rey both stare out to where Kay and the older kids are rolling around in giant hamster balls and bouncing off each other instead of trying to make it to the finish line. 

“I see you making googly eyes at Sasquatch over there,” Rose says, gesturing with her cup. “I’d tell you to jump on that, but he looks kinda busy.” Ben was on second, looking between Holdo and the Resistance pitcher. 

“Yeah,” Rey sighs. “Later though.” She wiggles her eyebrows at Rose, and Rose cackles loudly enough that two stuffy looking old ladies in the next section turn around to stare.

“She’s gonna get railed later!” Rose calls, moving her hips suggestively in her seat and pointing at Rey.

The old hags clutch their pearls and whip back around. 

“Bet they never had a good fuck,” Rose snipes under her breath.

“Okay, you’ve had enough of that.” Rey takes Rose’s cup and sets it several cupholders away. 

Rose blows a big, wet raspberry at Rey, and then stands to dance wildly to the music blasting over the speakers, pulling Rey up to dance too.

Later, between innings, though Rey had lost count of which, Leia brings everyone down onto the third-base line to help with the t-shirt cannons. Rey’s leaning against the green railing in front of the dugout when strong arms wrap around her from behind and a deep voice sounds in her ear.

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“I’ve been hard staring at your ass all night, and now I’m gonna do something about it. Come. With. Me.” 

Rey gulps and wishes she hadn’t finished Rose’s extra-large beer. Awkwardly, she swings her legs over the railing, met by Ben’s huge, warm hands on her waist to help her down. When she’s steady on her feet, his hands snap from her waist to her wrists, and he pulls her with him down the few steps into the concrete hallway beneath the stadium that leads to the locker rooms. Once they’re deep enough into the hallway that the sounds of the game are barely audible, Ben backs Rey into the wall, still holding her wrists and pinning her hands up by her shoulders. His huge body invades her space, heat rolling off him as his hips slam into hers and he claims her mouth with a scorching kiss that is more tongue and teeth than lips. At some point, and Rey is too lost to have noticed when, Ben gathered her wrists into one hand and slides the free one between them, making fast work of the belt holding up her uniform pants. When his hand slips beneath the white fabric, he growls and she gasps.

“No underwear  _ and _ you’re this wet?” He kisses and bites his way down her neck. “You’re gonna kill me, Rey. How am I supposed to play when you’re like this?” 

“Like what?” Rey’s eyes are rolling back at the sensation of his fingers stroking inside her and his thumb strumming her clit, and her voice is more breath than words. 

“ _ Fuckable,”  _ he snarls into her ear. 

“Yes, please,  _ Ben,”  _ Rey gasps as he continues to fuck her with his hand, filthy slick noises the only sound other than their breathing.

Rey whines as he suddenly withdraws his hand from her pants, and roughly shoves her so that the front of her body is pressed against the wall. His hand still pins both of hers above her head, and from the sounds behind her, he’s undoing his belt. Somehow, Ben shoves Rey’s pants down past her knees, and he uses his own knee to shove her legs further apart. 

And then Rey feels the tip of his cock nudge against her entrance, and without meaning too, she rocks backward, trying to fuck herself on his cock.

“Fuck, Rey,” he hisses in her ear as he shoves his hips forward to ram himself forward until he’s fully sheathed inside her. His hand slides beneath her jersey, rolling one of her nipples in his fingers, but he doesn’t move inside.

“Ben,” she whines, making a little circle with her hips. When he still doesn’t move, she begins fucking herself on his cock in earnest, using the wall to push her ass back into his hips. Ben releases her hands to fist the ponytail sticking out from beneath her hat, tugging her head back so she can just see him out of the corner of her eye. Now that her hands are free, Rey reaches her hands behind him, gripping his ass, digging her nails in, and wrenching his hips forward. Finally releasing whatever hold he had on his self-control, Ben begins rutting into her, snapping his hips and pushing her against the wall.

“I”m sorry, sweetheart, but we’ve got to be fast.” Ben releases her ponytail and shoves his hand into her pants to roughly circle his fingers over her clit until she can feel her walls fluttering around him. He comes with a grunt and collapses forward against the wall, catching his weight on his forearms, bracketing her body. After planting a soft kiss and a slight nip on the back of her neck, Ben moves to rearrange himself and straighten his uniform while Rey does the same.

“Solo?” 

It’s Phas. 

“Solo, we’re on deck.” 

Phasma’s enormous frame casts an even larger shadow as she saunters down the hall toward them.

“Seventh inning stretch, huh?” The blonde smirks at them. “It’s too bad Armie is so far away in the press box or we’d do the same every game.” Phas punches Ben lightly on the arm. “Come on, Solo, the game’s not over yet.” 

“We’ll pick this back up later?” Ben grins down at Rey before jogging after Phas to rejoin the game. 

When Rey feels that she’s made herself presentable, she slowly makes her way back down the hallway to emerge to the sight of Finn and Poe leaning back against the dugout wall, each with the other’s hand in their back pockets. Rey’s eyes meet Coach Holdo’s who grins at her.

“Must be something in the water,” Holdo mutters, rolling her eyes, but still grinning. “The others are over there.”

Rey follows Holdo’s pointing finger to where her kids are clustered around Han and Leia, tossing t-shirts from a nearly empty box up into the stands where tons of other kids have congregated and are waiting.

Game three is another win for First Order, though Resistance snags a few runs, and the team all return to their hotel in exceptionally good moods.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this silly little story. You don't know how much it means to me ❤️
> 
> VOTE.


	21. Broken bats and noses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final games of the Series.
> 
> This one has a bit of Phas/Hux smut near the end, so don't read from "Gwen Phasma isn’t even a little bit mad" to "We won. Game's over." if that's not your jam.
> 
> Luke sucks. You’ve been warned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, we are playing fast and loose with baseball and its rules, please forgive that. 
> 
> Thanks to skyeryder01 for the beta read.
> 
> THANKS FOR STICKING WITH ME, WE'RE IN THE HOME STRETCH Y'ALL.
> 
> Just one full chapter and one (or more) epilogues.

When Ben awakes, he groans and rolls over to pull Rey back to his chest. Except she’s not there.

Right.

He’s in a hotel. Because he’s playing in the World Series.

And today is the day he’s been dreading. The half-way point, the joint press conference with the Resistance team and coaches.

With Luke.

Anxiety at having to be in the same room with his uncle pulls tight through his body, leaving his muscles aching and in need of relief that only the warm touch of Rey’s soothing hands could give. 

But he has to settle for a shower that is just short of volcanic.

After the shower, he buttons himself into the suit he’d had to bring for the press conferences, black on black with a red tie. Rey had laughed while she’d smoothed the lapels of the jacket when he’d tried it on for her at his apartment, muttering about buying colorful things under her breath. Ben had jokingly growled at her that his tie was red and that black  _ was _ a color, thank you very much. And then he’d very much enjoyed tying the red tie around her wrists and pinning her hands over her head until she’d breathlessly agreed that black was a color.

With those memories bolstering his mood, Ben joins his teammates for the press conference and does his damndest to ignore the asshole who used to call himself his uncle.

It’s a little bit difficult though, when Luke’s face is plastered all over the tv screens that are scattered throughout the reporter filled room. Luke looks unusually tired and stressed, with his hair and beard in serious need of a trim, and his clothes looking mussed.

Ben wonders if his mother and uncle are currently speaking to each other.

Think of Leia and she will appear, Ben thinks wryly as his mother steps through the door in a tailored silk suit and her signature jewelry and braided crown. Leia pauses for the cameras, then takes her place in the center of the long table that seats both of her competing teams.

With Holdo on her right and Luke on her left, Leia begins the conference with her usual authority, expounding about the opportunity for both Skywalker teams to play against each other in the series, and how fortunate they are blah blah blah.

Ben is ready for the game, and the whole World Series, really, to be  _ over _ . He wants to be married and settled into domestic bliss with Rey and their kids with no further worries about baseball. Maybe when this was all over, he’d be a professor. Rey would like that, he thinks, trying to conceal his smile.

Now, Holdo and Luke are having some sort of pseudo-friendly coach banter, and droning on and on about players focusing on the game and leaving their all out there on the field.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ben sees Leia give a tiny smirk when he stifles a yawn.

_ Finally,  _ the press conference is over, or so he thinks. Ben is halfway out of his chair when he hears his name from the vicinity of the reporters.

“What?” He yells over the scrape of the other chairs being pushed back.

“Mara Jade, SportsNews,” the red-haired woman calls out. “How does it feel to be playing under your mother’s thumb?”

Ben blinks, then rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically.

“Ms. Organa isn’t involved in coaching decisions,” Holdo says as she steps up beside him. “I’m still head coach for the First Order team.”

Mara Jade nods thoughtfully.

“Mr. Solo, why haven’t you played under your real name until now?”

“I wanted to earn my spot on the team,” Ben answers.

The other reporters start to pull their phones out, recording again, hoping to get good content.

“Why didn’t you play for the Resistance team as Kylo Ren?”

Across the room, Ben hears a very familiar snort.

“Because he didn’t earn it,” Luke said. “He didn’t deserve it.”

A gasp rolls through the crowd as his words register.

For a moment, all the dark shadows he’d thought Rey had chased away fought to find their way back to the surface.

But instead of pushing his anger and hurt to the side, he processes his feelings, pulls them out and examines them.

Abandonment, betrayal, both perceived and real, and the aftermath.

“He’s right,” Ben says, “I didn’t deserve it. I left my family because of what I thought they wanted, and I didn’t want to live under the name Solo or Skywalker.” Ben pauses. “I didn’t want to be like you,” he says slowly, finally meeting his uncle’s cloudy grey eyes.

Luke blinks but says nothing. 

Uncertain and uncaring what would happen next, Ben leaves the press conference and paces blindly throughout the underground labyrinth of the stadium. His lack of anger surprises him. Somehow, he just let it all go.

He changes quickly in the locker room and shoots a quick text to Rey, briefly explaining what happened before turning his phone off and resuming his aimless wandering of the subterranean concrete maze. Eventually, his teammates come to find him, to tell him that they needed to warm up, so he joins them and exits the underground locker room out onto the field.

Ben goes through the motions of the warm-up with the team, relying on muscle memory more than anything else. His mind is elsewhere, a plan forming while he catches and tosses the ball and stretches his overly tight hips. 

~~~~~~~

Finn is on second and Ben is on third. It’s the top of the fifth, and Finn’s ready and waiting with his eyes on Phas, waiting for her to blast the ball.

Gwen Phasma is a bat-breaker.

Finn thinks she does it on purpose, reminding her male teammates, and those watching, of just how powerful she is. She is a freaking Amazon, after all. Out of the corner of his eye, Finn sees Ben shift his weight and adjust his batting helmet, which is odd, as he should be settling into position to run. Finn cocks his head, trying to divide his attention between Phas and Ben, wondering what’s going on while trying to keep his eye on the statuesque blonde. 

On the third base line, Finn sees Luke Skywalker, slowly inching out of the dugout and closer and closer to Ben. His lips are moving, but Finn can’t make out what he’s saying.

_ Crack _ .

Finn jumps and starts to run.

The ball is called foul, so he jogs back to second.

The Resistance pitcher stalks up to the pitcher’s mound, so Finn edges closer to third.

Ben looks focused, but even from this distance, Finn can see his eye twitching.

Despite being the rookie on the team, Finn has heard enough stories about the infamous Kylo Ren temper tantrums to recognize the beginnings of one.

The Ben he knows now would  _ never _ swing at the old man who appears to be taunting him. But as Finn watches, he can’t tell if he’s seeing Ben or Kylo, and he worries. The black brim of Ben’s hat is pulled down too low for Finn to make out the other man’s eyes, and Finn is wondering how to get closer to them when he sees Phasma wave slightly at him. She holds her hands close to her body, gesturing between Ben and Luke and then herself and Finn.

He has no idea what she means.

Phas hits another foul, and Finn uses the opportunity to get closer to third.

“…little brown-haired slut and her three brats,” Luke is hissing at Ben.

Finn is close enough that he sees the bones and tendons standing out in Ben’s clenched fist, and it’s not until he’s back at second that he realizes what  _ exactly _ he just heard.

_ Luke Skywalker just called my sister a slut. _

White-hot rage causes Finn to freeze in place, and he nearly takes off too late as Phas breaks her umpteenth bat of the season. It’s enough to get Ben home and Finn to third.

“Umm. That’s my sister you’re calling a slut, and her foster kids are good kids,” Finn tries to be respectful. Luke Skywalker is supposedly a good coach and an old man, to boot.

Luke spits into the clay lining the white chalk line of third but doesn’t acknowledge Finn as he slinks back into the dugout.

Somehow, they wind up in an almost identical situation two innings later.

Ben is on third, with Finn on second and Phas up to bat.

At this point, Luke is not even bothering to lower his voice, and Finn hears bits and pieces of what the old man is saying.

“…..your bitch of a mother and criminal father….stupid, ungrateful….fucking female coach.”

A roar sounded from the vicinity of home, and Gwen Phasma, in all of her six-foot-three blonde glory storms toward Luke, ripping off her batting helmet and throwing it into the dugout with a terrifying crash. Her gloves are thrown off next and before Finn is really aware of what’s happening, he heads toward them and arrives at third base just in time to see Phas step into the coach’s face and glower down at him.

“What did you say about my coach?” Her voice is terrifying.

Other players, from both sides, trickle onto the field to see what is about to happen.

“I said we shouldn’t have a fucking female coach at the World Series,” Luke says, spraying spit in his vitriol.

“He called Rey a slut,” Finn says conversationally.

Phasma’s eyes narrow and the circle of baseball players around them narrows. Coaches and umpires start trying to push through the knot of people, but the players maintain the circle.

Until a calm, authoritative voice broke through the crowd and it splits in two. 

“You called my daughter-in-law a  _ what _ ?” Leia’s voice snaps like a whip.

The crowd flinches, but Luke just whirls around and sneers. 

“A slut. Just like you, marrying that half-witted, scruffy-looking—“

Leia’s fist darts out, but Phas catches it before the older woman can cross the full distance.

“Allow me,” Phas says, and swings with considerably more power than the smaller woman had.

Luke Skywalker’s nose crumples with a sickening crunch. Blood sprays and he wails like some kind of animal.

Finn’s eyes dart around to the Resistance team, and he balls his fists ready to throw more punches if necessary.

But one of them claps and the rest soon join in. 

Leia is screeching at her brother, who lies in the grass, clutching his broken nose.

Ben approaches her warily, wrapping an arm over her shoulder and gently trying to guide her away.

“And another thing,” she yells “how  _ dare _ you call  _ any _ woman a slut you, you green-milk sucking—“

“I think he gets it, Your Worshipfulness.”

Han Solo has joined the crowd, along with Rey, Rose, Kay, and all of the kids. The younger kids have eyes like saucers, but the older kids are cracking their knuckles like they want in on the fight.

Ben meets Rey’s eyes, and she looks concerned but confused. Finn feels a hand slide into his own and doesn’t have to look to know that Poe has left his spot near the Resistance pitchers to join him.

“What, and I cannot stress this enough, the  _ hell _ is going on?” The head umpire shoulders his way through the crowd, glaring between Luke and Leia and Han.

“He called my daughter-in-law something awful,” Leia says, straightening imperiously.

“He was goading Ben,” Finn says, stepping forward, “saying really horrible things to him. Talking shit, uh, smack, sorry, about Coach Holdo too.”

“Which is what I heard,” Phas’s cool voice cuts in as she crosses her arms over her chest.

The umpire pushes his hat back a bit on his head, as if he’s still unsure about the situation. 

“Coaches, with me. Ms. Organa, you too.” The umpire jerks his thumb over his shoulder in the vicinity of the pitcher’s mound. “You lot stay here.” He points at the players. 

Luke is still moaning on the ground, and a couple of his own players jerk him upright none too gently.

Finn nods in grim satisfaction at the sight of the blood dripping over the old man’s beard and onto his blue uniform, and he feels Poe’s arm slide around his waist as they stand together to wait for the verdict.

~~~~~~

“Are you all right?” 

Rey is still confused about what the hell was going on, but Ben is shaking, so that’s what she focuses on. She runs her hands up and down his arms, trying to calm him of his rage.

“I’m fine,” he grinds out.

And then he pulls her into his chest and buries his face in her neck. He’s still shaking, but Rey can feel his breathing starting to even out as the movements of his chest against hers slow.

“What happened?” she asks him quietly.

“Just…Luke. Being awful, as always.” Ben clamps his jaw shut so tight Rey thinks she might hear a tooth crack.

“He’s a sad old man,” Rey says, glaring at said sad old man over Ben’s shoulder. Someone has found him a towel, and Luke has it pressed to his face.

“He is. Mom swung on him,” Ben says in awe. 

Rey snorts. 

“She would’ve broken her hand. Good thing Phas did it,” Rey growls.

Ben backs up a step to stare down at her.

“What?” she asks. “He deserved it.”

Ben just continues to stare. 

“Honestly, I would’ve done the same, but—“ she gestures at the kids, who are mingling with the players.

“Of course you would have.”

Rey squares her shoulders and glares up at him.

“I  _ would _ ,” she says, poking him in the chest. “He doesn’t get to say awful things about anybody, but especially not you.” 

“Oh, I believe you,” Ben says, slinging an arm over her shoulder to pull her back against his side. “I’d pay to see it, too.” He presses a kiss to her temple and squeezes her ass before they join the others. Ben kneels down to talk to the girls, who still look frightened.

“Is Gramma Weia okay?” Jaina’s big eyes are rimmed with silver.

“She’s okay,” Ben says, “just a little riled up. Her brother wasn’t being very nice.”

Jaina’s eyes grow even larger.

“That was her  _ brother? _ But Wey says we shouldn’t hit each other!”

“Well,” Rey begins, but Ben stops her with a hand on her shoulder. He leans forward to whisper something in the little girl’s ear, and when he’s done, she nods solemnly. Rey glances at her fiancé curiously, but he just winks.

Several minutes later, when Leia, Holdo, and the umpire return, Holdo gives a piercing whistle to get both teams’ attention. Rey starts gathering the kids to leave, but Ben stops her, nodding to the umpire to tell her to wait.

“In light of the unprecedented behavior from the Resistance coach and the First Order player, this game will be considered a loss by both teams. Gwendoline Phasma and Luke Skywalker are both suspended for the rest of the Series. You might as well leave now; the game’s over.” Rey thinks the older man was rather rude, but she supposed the situation warranted it.

She’s still seething and has half a mind to hunt down Skywalker and give him a piece of her mind, but she thinks doing that might traumatize her kids further. One day, she thinks, one day he’ll get an earful from me, and maybe I’ll break his nose too. Ben stares at her like he just read every thought that crossed her mind, so she smiles sweetly and takes Jacen’s hand.

“You okay?” she asks him quietly. His hand is ice cold and his jaw is set in a grim line that mirrors Ben’s. 

Jacen doesn’t seem to want to talk, but he nods jerkily. Rey squeezes his hand, and he squeezes back. They’ll need to talk it out later, but hopefully it won’t have any lasting effects. 

Jaina and Alema, on the other hand, appear to have forgotten the incident already. The two little girls race between the small groups of players and screech with delight at the discarded balls and bats they keep finding while they play. Chewie, who appeared right behind Han and Leia, is attempting to grab them but to no avail. Rey digs through her purse and produces two small bags of mini-muffins, and the girls race to her and happily chomp into their snacks.

“Let’s go,” Leia says, taking both girls by the hand. “We should clear out and talk.”

Which is how Rey finds herself and her future in-laws and the rest of her extended family in the conference room at the hotel where the team have been staying.

She and Ben each have a sleeping little girl in their laps, and Jacen sits off to the side, looking excited to be included in what appears to be a team meeting.

Leia claps her hands for attention.

“This was a colossal fuck-up,” she says. Several players snort in agreement. “I’ll be speaking to the Resistance later, but for now, I want to apologize to all of you. I didn’t behave the way the owner of a team should have. I also apologize for the hideous actions of my brother, and the repercussions of both of our actions. I take full responsibility for the loss of the game today, and want you all to know how proud I am of this team, no matter the outcome of the series.”

Rey watches Amilyn Holdo’s head snap up.

“Outcome of the series— what does that mean, exactly?” The violet-haired woman’s eyes narrow. Rey sees her for what she is in that moment: a woman who has fought her way to the top of an all-male mountain and had done a damn good job while she was at it, better than all the men if her team’s presence at the most important games in baseball were any indication. 

“Nothing—yet. The umpire,” Leia waves her hand impatiently, “said that if  _ anyone _ puts a toe out of line in the remaining games, the Series is over immediately. Under the circumstances, I can’t say I’m inclined to disagree.”

Holdo hisses through her teeth but nods her agreement.

“You all should not have had to see me that way,” Leia continues, “I’m essentially the leader for the entire team, and—“

“Leia, you were a badass.” Phas interrupts and unfolds from her chair. “We’ve all seen what a shitty coach can be like, and none of us stood up to Snoke before, so there’s no way we would let Skywalker talk to one of our own that way.” The blonde spits the name like acid. “You’re just lucky I stopped you. Ri’ia knows what would have happened if  _ you _ would’ve punched him.” 

A chuckle goes around the room.

“You’re right, though, Phas. We should’ve seen how Snoke was treating Ben sooner and stopped it.” Finn sheds his usual grin for something fiercer. Around them, the rest of the team nods their agreement.

Beside Rey, Ben stiffens almost imperceptibly. She looks up and his eyes are bright at Phas and Finn’s defense of him.

“Still wish _ I’d  _ broken his nose,” Rey mutters. 

Ben huffs a laugh and rolls his eyes. 

“Just wait ’til Christmas dinner,” Han quips from the back of the room, “you might get the chance.”

When they’ve all returned to the beach house for the night, Rey waits until the girls are asleep before making two mugs of cocoa with lots of marshmallows and knocks softly on Jacen’s door.

“Come in.” His voice sounds too tired for a ten-year-old.

Rey nudges the door open with her toe and sits on the edge of his bed before handing him the mug. Jacen takes it and wraps his thin fingers around it, but doesn’t look at her.

“Ben’s okay,” Rey says, blowing the steam off her mug. “Are you?”

Jacen’s thin shoulders curve inward.

“I will be. I just— it was like my dad, you know? Always muttering under his breath.” Jacen squeezes the mug tighter. “I couldn’t hear him from up in the box, but I could just tell, you know? He had that mean look on his face, and it made Ben all tense.” 

“I know,” Rey says. She sets her mug down on his nightstand and edges closer to him. “I saw it too. But you know what? He didn’t let it get to him. It used to bother him, and not even that long ago. But I think finding a family helped him a lot. It showed him that he could still find love. That he deserved love.” Rey gently takes Jacen’s mug and sets it beside hers. “You deserve love too, Jacen. Whatever your dad used to say to you, he was wrong. We love you. We’re your family now, okay?” Her eyes burn as she pulls Jacen into a tight hug. He sniffles. When she releases him, he looks up into her eyes. “Ben and I are going to adopt you and the girls, so it’ll be official.” She looks down and twists the ring on her left hand.

“I know,” Jacen says grinning. “He asked me if I wanted you guys to adopt us before he asked you to marry him. He asked me if I wanted to be an official family, with name changes and everything.” Jacen bounces a little in the bed. “Jacen  _ Solo _ .” He grins even bigger.

Rey is a little bit dumbstruck that Ben thought to ask Jacen first and knew how much it meant to the boy. Her…son.

“I love you, kiddo,” she says, planting a kiss on top of his head. 

“I love you, too,” he says, ducking away. 

~~~~~

Gwen Phasma isn’t even a little bit mad about being suspended. She’s done with assholes, coach or otherwise, and she has half a mind to hunt down Armie’s dead father down in the pits of hell while she’s at it. 

She’s up in the Organa box with Armie, Rey, Leia, an army of children, and about a gallon of Leia’s favorite mimosas. She’s vaguely wary of the children, especially the smallest ones, but they’re completely enamored with her and Hux. 

“Did you eat carrots to make your hair that color?” Jaina asks Armie, reaching up for the ginger strand that curls over his forehead. It happens to be Gwen’s favorite.

“Yes!” he exclaims, wiggling his eyebrows at the girls. “All I ate for a whole year was carrots! And now look!” 

Alema looks skeptical, but Jaina’s eyes grow as big as saucers.

“What did she eat to make her hair like that?” Jaina whispers loudly and points at Phas.

“I ate lots of….flowers?” Gwen looks questioningly at Hux, who is smothering a laugh.

Jaina scoffs at that.

“I ate a flower once, and my hair is still brown.” And with that declaration, the little girls appear to be done with Phas and Hux and scamper off to harass Han and Chewie for piggy-back rides.

Gwen slides closer to Hux, or as close as she can in the enormous leather seats of the SkyBox.

“You wanna get outta here?” she slurs, blinking at him through a faint champagne haze.

“Gwen, your team is playing.” Hux removes her hand from his knees and twines his fingers through hers to keep them from wandering too far north. 

Gwen scowls.

“They’re gonna win, that team is shit without a coach to scare them.” She points at the scoreboard. FO leads, 5-1. “So, I shall repeat. Do you wanna get out of here for a bit?” She waggles her eyebrows at him.

Hux smirks.

“Yeah, alright. But we should be back before the game is over. They are  _ your _ teammates after all.”

Phas mumbles vaguely about forgetting her phone in her locker before the game as they walk out the door. From the look on Leia’s face, though, she absolutely knows.

Leading Hux by their linked fingers, Phas takes them down to the team’s clubhouse, walking them through the now-darkened room full of equipment and open lockers. Hux made to turn for one of the large leather chairs that sat in front of each nearly closet-sized “locker”, but Gwen shakes her head at him. 

“Nope. Keep walking.”

Amused confusion crosses his face, but Phas just keeps walking, grinning the whole time.

Until she pushes open the glass doors to the clubhouse’s adjacent gym. Armie’s eyes widen a bit, probably wondering what the hell she’s going to do and if it will involve weight-lifting equipment or not.

She smirks, eyes searching the room for— there. 

“Sit.” She pats the back of an adjustable bench that has been left in the perfect position: reclining slightly with the seat at  _ just _ the right angle. 

He does as he’s told, like a good boy, leaning his head back against the bench and adjusting the angle of his hips for her. Gwen steps forward and straddles him, giving him an eyeful as she slowly peels her sheath dress off and tosses it to the side, leaving her only in the spike-heeled shoes she enjoyed wearing when not wearing cleats.

“Shit,” Hux groans, taking her in.

Phas is secretly pleased that he still delights in her after so long together. 

“Shut up and put your mouth to good use,” she growls, shoving his shoulders down, making his body slide down until he is eye-level with her cunt. She presses her hips forward, pushing the lips of her sex against his mouth as his tongue flicks out to taste her. At the feel of his tongue on her clit, she shoves her hips forward, keeping his head in place between her thighs and pushing him back into the pleather covered foam of the bench. His eyes grow dark as he licks a stripe over her slit, and Gwen hums in pleasure until he pauses, using only the very tip of his tongue to tease her. She grips a handful of his red hair, and lifts away from him just enough that he can’t reach her without pulling out his own hair. 

“Don’t tease,” she snaps, “or you won’t get to come at all.” She loosens her grip on his hair, pushing her hips forward to hover her cunt over his mouth again, before grinding hard against his mouth. Her eyes flutter closed as she feels his fingers dig into the muscles of her thighs as he traces a tingling pattern over her swollen clit. 

She feels two of his delicate fingers trace her opening before plunging in to stroke her inner walls in rhythm with the movement of his tongue. Gwen feels the sparks of orgasm building deep in her belly, and her back arches as she roughly tugs and twists her nipples to add to her pleasure. She rides his face through her orgasm, her body bowing forward until her forehead rests on the bench.

Slowly, she pulls her dripping cunt away from his face, widening her legs enough for Hux to push himself back up to his original position, licking the remainder of her arousal from his lips. Gwen tugs his shirt over his head, then reaches between them to unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans, and he lifts his hips to allow her to push them down, freeing his erection. Gwen pumps his shaft with her hand once, twice, then positions her entrance over his broad head. She rocks back and forth, making his cock slick with her juices before shoving downward, impaling herself on his cock. He groans as she braces her quads, circling her hips and squeezing around him before she lowers her mouth to his and kisses him, tasting herself on his tongue. Her thighs flex as she slowly lifts up and plunges back down on his cock. Their tongues tangle together and his hips buck up to meet hers, hitting that place deep inside her and causing her to see stars. 

“Harder,” she growls against his mouth, and he obliges, fucking her harder as she pushes harder against him, gasping as his cock pounded into her over and over. When she’s ready, she speaks again. “You can come,” she says digging her nails into the muscles of his shoulders. Her eyes squeeze shut again, her head tipping back as Hux’s fingers squeeze into her ass. Their orgasm is simultaneous, with sweating and grunting and the slap of their bodies as they fuck harder in their final strokes. 

Gwen collapses, panting, onto Armie’s chest. He licks at a bead of sweat that drips down her neck before nipping just below her ear.

“It’s my turn next,” he whispers into her ear, and she shivers at the hint of a threat. 

This game they play, trading power, is half the fun of being with him.

“Well this is nice,” a new voice says. 

Poe.

Gwen doesn’t bother covering herself as she climbs off Armie and the bench. 

“Shoo,” she says without an ounce of embarrassment, “we’ll be out in a moment.” 

“Game’s over,” Poe says as he turns away. “We won, in case you’re interested in that sort of thing.” 

~~~~~~~~~

_ Fucking female coach _ .

If she had a dollar for every time she’d heard that, well…she’d have a lot of money.

_ Fucking female coach. _

Skywalker’s words have run through her head a million times before she ever heard them leave his lips.

Amilyn sighs, swiping on her First Order-Red lipstick, and blotting her lips to ensure it stays for the whole game. Maybe it’s odd to some people, wearing a full face to coach a professional baseball team, but she likes wearing blood-red lipstick and sharpening her features. She finds that it unsettles her male opponents. 

When her makeup, or her game-face as she jokingly thinks of it, is applied to perfection, Amilyn slides the sleeves of her jersey over her arms, absently sliding each button into its home on the opposite side. Her fingers don’t shake with nerves. She deserves to be where she is; of that she is certain. Whether or not the world of baseball agrees is an entirely different story.

Leia is on her side, of course, but Leia has had her fair share of shit from the good old boys’ club in which they are two of the only females. Amilyn wonders vaguely what Gwen Phasma has faced in her career; if it’s been even remotely less fraught with sexism than her time.

Probably not.

With her hat firmly settled over her lavender hair, Amilyn stares in the mirror of her hotel bathroom.

“It’s the final game,” she says aloud to her reflection. “You’re here, you’ve made it.”

Leia had said that she didn’t care if the team won or lost, but Amilyn feels that her entire career has led her to this— nine innings, the crack of bats and the roar of the crowd. She owes it to herself, her team, and any other woman who may look to her for inspiration to  _ win _ . 

Fucking Skywalker, leaving her unsettled and irritated.

Amilyn heaves a huge, sighing breath, and walks out to the bus to wait for her team.

Leia gives a speech before the game begins, and while Leia is her oldest friend, Amilyn isn’t exactly listening. She runs through mental checklists and observes her team to be certain that each player is ready and focused. 

She’s proud of them, this team she inherited. She’s proud of what they survived before her. Ben Solo was treated the worst by far, but in her first few practices with the team, Amilyn saw signs of abuse in others too, and she prides herself on having built a  _ team _ after having been given a mess.

When Leia’s speech is finished, Amilyn stands up.

She thinks about coming up with a long speech on the spot. She has been known to be rather long-winded when waxing poetically. But perhaps now is not the time.

“I should probably light a fire under your asses, but I’m not going to do that. I could talk about their team and their coach and a million things, but the fact is that we’re better than they are. I’ve watched you all grow from a bunch of assholes who played baseball together to a  _ team _ . And that is why we will win,” she says fiercely. 

Her team all roar together, banging their batting helmets together with a terrifying clash. Amilyn isn’t sure if they had all spoken together or if they’d somehow all decided on their own to draw the frightening patterns of eyeblack that Solo had favored when he was still parading as Kylo Ren. The effect is…striking. Greasepaint-streaked faces grin ominously back at her. 

“Well I don’t know what you’ll do to the other team, but you scare the hell out of me. Let’s do this!” 

And the whole team runs out of the clubhouse together into the roaring stadium.

Energy runs high as the game finally starts. Amilyn can tell immediately that the other team has no chance. Skywalker’s face is a spectacular rainbow of bruises, ranging from green to purple to black beneath his eyes, and his scowling demeanor had clearly rubbed off on his players. And they play badly. It is  _ not _ a World Series caliber game, and Amilyn makes a note to herself to convince Leia to offer a place on the FO team to the Resistance team. They need her help as much as her current team had. 

Amilyn glares in Skywalker’s general direction. Those poor kids deserve better than him. She almost feels sorry that First Order are stomping all over them.

Almost.

_ You’re here, and you’re  _ winning, she thinks, and resists the urge to cheer with the crowd when Finn hits a triple.

When the game is over and Amilyn has been hoisted up on her team’s shoulder’s, she peers out at the crowd, at the JumboTron with mile-high images of her and her team plastered all over it, and she smiles.

She’s made it.

~~~~~

Ben’s heart pounds in his ears.

They  _ won. _

His last season, his last game, his only World Series, and they  _ won. _

He holds out a hand when Holdo motions for the team to put her down, and she grips it tightly to steady herself as she climbs down from all the hands and shoulders supporting her. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Ben sees a bright orange cylinder making its way from the dugout, and Ben knows what’s about to happen, so he ducks away from Holdo just in time to mostly avoid getting splashed with gallons of red Gatorade. 

Holdo was not so lucky. 

Her hair is plastered to her face as she splutters and laughs, trying to see who got her.

Finn and Poe, naturally. 

The crowd has begun to crowd onto the field with the team, and Ben brushes off fans as he looks for his family. 

He sees Jaina first; she’s small enough to slip between legs and escape the adults. She’s racing toward him but skids to a halt when she’s about a yard away.

She scowls.

“Why do you look like that?” She points up to his face.

He had forgotten about the eyeblack. It had been Phas’s idea, an intimidation tactic and a sort of last goodbye to the old First Order all in one.

Ben kneels down and holds his arms out.

“It’s just to keep the sun out of my eyes.”

Jaina squints up at the night sky.

“But there’s no sun.” She crosses her arms at him, and he has no choice but to laugh. She’s like a tiny Rey, not taking his shit.

“You’re right. It’s mostly just to look scary to the other team. Do I look scary?”

“Nuh-uh. You look silly. Take it off.” Jaina the tyrant, as usual.

“Sure thing. Wanna help me?” Ben scoops her up and pretends to rub his cheek over hers.

“Daddy, nooooo!” she shrieks.

His heart squeezes at her words.

A small white square appears in front of his nose.

Rey, and her overly large purse, has arrived.

Ben deposits Jaina back on the ground, then stands and scrubs at his face with the wipe Rey provided. She’s grinning and bouncing on her toes, nearly as excited as Jacen. But  _ nobody _ is as excited as Jacen, and seeing the kid jumping up and down and roaring in delight transports Ben back in time to when Han had won the series. Ben blinks away the fog of memories and looks up, straight into his father’s eyes. Han winks and grins, and Ben feels some final piece click into place. 

He pulls Rey into his arms, and all is right with the world.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Sorry it took so long. I'm a trash human.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Come say hi on twitter!https://twitter.com/HighLadySolo


End file.
